After a Heartbreak, My Bitter Childhood Friend is now Sweet Like Sugar - V2 Chapter 6.6

Chapter 6.6

After school, Kokoa and I walked out of the school gate as usual since we had nothing special to do.

We hardly said a word to each other, but as if to break the uncomfortable silence, I decided to open my mouth.

“Kokoa, during lunch, I’m sorry about what happened.”

I had been wanting to apologize since lunchtime. 

The fact that I hadn’t been able to say it bothered me so much that I’d been a little absent-minded in class all afternoon.

“Why are you apologizing? I don’t remember doing anything to make you apologize. Oh, but if you don’t want to eat it for dinner, I’ll have it.”

“I’ll eat it. How can I not eat it after all you made it for me? No, I mean, I’m sorry that I ate Reika-chan’s…”

“Hah, I told you during lunchtime that you can have mine for dinner, and it would be awkward to take hers home, wouldn’t it? She’s gone through a lot of trouble to make it for you, so I don’t want to neglect her efforts.”

“That’s true, but…”

And then Kokoa breathed in,

“I know what it feels like to cook for someone you love. I’ve always been like that, and that’s why I didn’t want to waste the effort Reika-chan had put into it.”

“… So that was the right thing to do?”

“You don’t need my affirmation.”

She said with a scowl.

I see…

“It is a matter for you to decide. I don’t have the right to be angry at you. We’re just childhood friends. Perhaps you thought that I would be jealous and get mad at you?”

She had guessed right. Even now, I suspect that she’s actually angry with me.

“Of course, I would care, but I also appreciate that you are concerned about me. Honestly, it makes me happy.”

“What?”

“I won’t say it again, you idiot.”

I couldn’t help but ask her again, and she replied with puffy cheeks.

She’s not angry but concerned about it.

Well, that makes sense.

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[EDN: POV change.]

As soon as I entered my room, I dived into my bed.

I was exhausted. 

Not physically, but mentally. It was an exhaustion that weighed on me from within my body. 

My eyelids felt heavy, and I was so exhausted that I felt like I would lose consciousness if I wasn’t careful.

The reason for this exhaustion was the incident during lunch break. A junior, who looked just like Yu’s former crush, visited with her lunch.

Trying to stay calm was nerve-wracking. I can’t believe I’m reaffirming such a natural thing…

I laid on my back and looked up to the ceiling, which had a light peach colour. 

It’s not like I don’t care.

I muttered vaguely.

A girl who looked exactly like the person Yu liked appeared out of nowhere. She seemed to be interested in him and even made him lunch.

My head was filled with frustration and anxiety. 

I wondered if she would try to steal him again, just like that time.

I was disgusted with myself for even thinking such a thing. That’s why I stuck to my usual routine. I didn’t want to be swallowed up by the negative feelings swelling inside me. I didn’t want to fall into self-loathing.

But…

“Why now…”

Things were going so smoothly. I conveyed my feeling to Yu, and he was looking at me.

Why did this have to happen?

I couldn’t help but feel hatred towards the past that appeared at the exact time as if it was aiming for you.

As I was piling up such grudges in my mind, my smartphone, which was turned off, shuddered on my desk. It wasn’t a text message but a phone call. 

I had no choice but to get up and pick it to see who it was, only to see the name Kasugai Hotaru on the screen.

“What can I do for you?”

I pressed the call button and asked her first thing.  

|| “You’re so cold Kokocchi. I’m calling because I’m worried about you.”

“Nothing to be worried about, I’m sure.” 

|| “You were straining yourself at lunch.”

“I wasn’t…”

|| “Again. We’ve known each other for quite some time now, so even if you can fool Yucchi, you can’t fool me. We’re both girls.”

“I hoped you could believe it too.”

|| “See, I knew you were lying!”

Well, I don’t mind if Hotaru-chan found out, so I’ll be honest. In fact, I was longing to tell someone for a while now.

|| “A junior who looks just like his late lover. If it’s a woman you don’t like, you should eliminate her thoroughly.”

“The problem is that she seems like a nice girl.”

|| “Oh…”

“I heard that she had an older brother who looked like Yu, and her brother passed away recently.”

|| “Eh? What a strange coincidence. It must be fate.”

“Yes, it’s fate. It was as if it was decided from the beginning that she would meet Yu.”

If I had been able to hate her without mercy, I would not have thought about it so much. The fact that I couldn’t even hate her makes me disgusted with myself.

I knew exactly how Yu felt.

He was adored by someone who resembled his former love, someone who even brought him lunch. He was desperate, and he was trying his best. How could I treat Yu’s feelings so carelessly?

|| “Hee~ I knew she was a formidable rival.”

“… well, it’s not up to me to decide what kind of relationship Yu will have with her.”

|| “Why don’t you just say it honestly? Don’t be nice to other girls and say that you’re uncomfortable.”

“I won’t tell her that! Besides, Hotaru-chan, you were nice to her too, right?”

|| “She’s a good girl, but she still approached Yu after knowing that Kokocchi had feelings for him. As I thought, she’s thick-skinned and brazen. She’s the polar opposite of you, Kokocchi, who in a situation like that would just shut up and step aside.”

“You’re being mean, but I won’t deny it.”

I, too, thought that she was my complete opposite in a way.

|| “But you know what?”

As I was speaking, Hotaru-chan seemed to want to say something but stopped,

“What is it?”

|| “… You won’t get angry?”

“I don’t think I’ll be mad, so tell me.”

|| “I feel like you’re showcasing your bad points, Kokocchi. It’s okay to think about Yucchi, but you’re not thinking about yourself.”

“Do you think so?”  

|| “It’s my thoughts. I’m not really saying that I want you to do something, but sometimes I wonder if Kokocchi really wants that. I think that you’re holding yourself back and refusing to move forward. It doesn’t matter what Yucchi or that junior thinks.”

Ugh. You hit me where it hurts.

|| “After all, Kokocchi doesn’t want Yucchi to hate you, right? That’s why you couldn’t say anything about lunch. You’re afraid of being hated.”

“You didn’t have to say that much”

|| “You seem like you want me to, though.”

“That’s right. I’m afraid of being hated.”

That’s why I couldn’t take the last step. Even before she appeared and even after she died.

“I can’t help but think about Yu’s feelings.”

|| “Well, those were the circumstances.”

I remembered the wish I had made on Tanabata.

─I hope that Yu will be able to move on.

Well, I guess it’s a difficult wish. It’s hard for Yu to keep up with his feelings with the appearance of a girl who looks just like his former love.

|| “Don’t worry, Kokocchi is the only one who cares about Yucchi that much. If it’s you, I know you can do the right thing.”

“I’m not confident enough.”

|| “Believe in me who believes in Kokocchi. The only person who can make Yucchi happy is you.”

“You think so?”

|| “I think so, and because I think so, you have to work hard, right?”

Yes, that’s right.

Suddenly, I noticed a book lying on my desk. It was a novel I had yet to read; a love story about a man torn between his dead ex-lover and his childhood friend.

Such a coincidence is impossible, but I guess it must be fate. Maybe this is a test. 

A test of love.

“Okay, from now on, I’ll do my best!”

|| “Good luck, Kokocchi!”

I became so enthusiastic that I started to prepare for tomorrow immediately.

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