[Sad News] Living Together with the Unattainable Beauty—Her Overwhelming Affection Is Way Too Calculated - 35-36

Chapter 35: This Shouldn’t Have Anything to Do With Me, But…

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The shock of having witnessed Ryou Yamada’s confession (or whatever it was) had eaten away at my heart more deeply and quietly than I had imagined. The afternoon classes that day didn’t register in my mind at all.

The teacher’s words, the writing on the blackboard—they slipped through my consciousness like words from a distant foreign land. My mind was consumed, replaying that scene over and over like a broken projector.

Yamada’s confident profile. Fujigaya-san facing him directly. And those devastatingly straightforward words.

『Fujigaya-san, will you go out with me?』

What did Fujigaya-san say in response? What happened between them afterward? She didn’t… Say yes, did she? No, but this was Ryou Yamada we were talking about. Countless girls have swooned over him since middle school. 

Even Fujigaya-san might not be entirely uninterested in him. She was smiling, wasn’t she? That was how it looked to me. My thoughts spiraled endlessly through a dark, exitless maze. During every break, I found myself unconsciously tracking Fujigaya-san’s movements with my eyes. 

If she wasn’t in the classroom, I’d nervously glance toward Yamada’s class. Once, I saw them talking in the hallway. They seemed to be laughing together happily. At that moment, my stomach contracted tightly, as if doused with ice water.

It’s none of my business though..

During class, I scribbled those words repeatedly in the margins of my notebook.

Who she dates has nothing to do with me. It’s her freedom.

Indeed. I was just a housemate, a temporary arrangement born from a real estate agent’s mistake. I had no right to meddle in her private life. Even if she started dating Yamada, I should smile and say, “Congratulations.” That was the mature, reasonable thing to do.

I understood that. I understood it painfully well. Yet, deep in my chest, a black, viscous magma-like mass swirled.

It’s not okay. It’s not okay at all. Why that guy?

Why did it have to be an overconfident, flashy extrovert like him standing next to Fujigaya-san? That guy was surely a scumbag, juggling three or five girls at once. I didn’t want to admit that this ugly emotion was “jealousy.”

Because admitting it would mean acknowledging that I was genuinely in love with Fujigaya-san. That was presumptuous. Utterly delusional. We lived in entirely different worlds.

“Hey, Gen-chan, what’s up with you? Your face is pale as paper.” 

Kimura said, peering at me with concern during lunch.

“You look like you’re having an out-of-body experience.” 

Satou added, pointing at my untouched bento. Apparently, I’d been frozen, chopsticks in hand.

“…Nah, it’s nothing. Just a bit sleep-deprived.” 

I said with a weak smile, brushing it off. There was no way I could confide in them. Admitting, “I saw Fujigaya-san getting confessed to by Yamada” would be too pathetic to say. Even if my mouth were torn open, I still wouldn’t say it.

I trudged home, my steps heavy as lead. Opening the front door felt daunting. What kind of expression would she greet me with? When I turned the knob with a click, she was already home.

“Welcome back, Miyazuka-kun!”

Her bright voice came from the kitchen, as usual.

“…I’m back.” 

I mumbled, barely able to look at her face, my head bowed. Dinner was filled with awkward silence. Or perhaps I was the only one who felt it was awkward. She seemed the same as always, cheerfully talking about school.

“Today’s PE was dodgeball, and Ami was incredible! The speed of her throws was unreal!”

I listened intently, terrified that Yamada Ryo’s name might come up in her carefree chatter. After dinner, I avoided Fujigaya-san’s gaze and hurriedly escaped to my room. I collapsed onto my bed, staring at the ceiling.

I can’t keep pretending. I’m not okay with this. I’m not okay with Fujigaya-san being close to another guy. I don’t want her to be taken. I don’t want her to belong to someone else.

The ugly, selfish possessiveness undeniably existed within me, and I was utterly defeated by that fact.

I’m in love with Fujigaya-san.

I was in love with that dazzling, unattainable flower, who was shining like the sun. What was I supposed to do with this impossible love? No answers came, and the silence of my room carved my despair ever deeper.

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Chapter 36: The Annoying Buzzkill Bug

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Ryou Yamada-kun. The prince of the school, apparently—the ace of the soccer team from another class, dazzlingly popular with the girls. Lately, this sparkling boy with such titles had been needlessly coming at me all the time.

Every break, he would appear out of nowhere and say things like, “Fujigaya-san, are you free after this?” or “How about going somewhere this Sunday?”—well-worn, transparent pickup lines delivered with a refreshing smile.

To be honest, he was a nuisance. To be perfectly clear, he was downright bothersome.

In my heart, ever since long ago, there had only been one boy—Gen-chan. Clumsy, dear, irreplaceable. No matter how much of an ikemen some other guy might be, he didn’t even register in my field of vision.

But bluntly rejecting him and getting resented in return would just be trouble. He seemed to have a lot of influence in his class, and I absolutely had to avoid weird rumors reaching Gen-chan and causing him trouble.

That was why I plastered the very best sales-smile I had honed through modeling work onto my face and deflected his fervent advances, slipping away like a willow in the wind.

“Sorry, Yamada-kun. I just happened to get a shoot scheduled that day.”

“Wow, I’m flattered! But, I’m not great with crowds. Sorry, okay?”

Without hurting him, yet never showing an opening. Beneath the smiling mask, all I thought was, “Won’t you just go away already?” He was nothing more than a pesky little buzzkill bug trying to dampen my path to love.

It was during one of those wearying exchanges, at lunchtime one day. In the connecting corridor, he caught me yet again, and then tossed out a line far too direct: “Why don’t you go out with me?” I nearly sighed in exasperation but forced it down.

And then, at that moment. Over his shoulder, I caught sight of a familiar, slightly hunched silhouette. From behind the staircase shadows, peeking nervously this way—Gen-chan. The instant I saw him, a mischievous thought flashed through my mind like lightning.

…This might come in handy.

The scene of Gen-chan happily chatting about anime with Tanaka-san from class the other day flickered through my head. That prickling, burning discomfort in my chest.

Jealousy.

Yes, I’d let him taste just a little of that same feeling. This might be the perfect chance.

So I deliberately turned to Yamada-kun with an ambiguous little smile.

“Hmm, what should I do?”

I acted just a bit suggestive. I could see, even from afar, Gen-chan’s body twitch in shock.

Fufu, it’s working, it’s working.

Of course, I didn’t have a single micron of intention to date Yamada-kun. At a convenient point, I cut the conversation off, gave him a cheery wave, and walked away.

“Sorry, maybe another time. Let me think about it!”

He, brimming with confidence, probably didn’t realize there was no hidden meaning in my words at all.

That afternoon, Gen-chan’s behavior was just as I had hoped—clearly off. In class, his mind was elsewhere. Whenever our eyes met, he would quickly and awkwardly look away. His suspicious, flustered manner was unbearably cute and precious.

He really did get jealous of me.

That truth sent me soaring. I wasn’t the only one who had sunk into those dark, muddied feelings over Tanaka-san. He was the same as me.

When we got home, his behavior was even more obvious. He avoided my gaze more than usual, and during dinner he was quiet as a mouse.

Good, good. Serves you right.

I looked on at his clear display of jealousy with a not-at-all-unpleasant feeling. Maybe I should make him even more jealous. Maybe I should fill his head with nothing but me and make him fret even more.

Entertaining such slightly mean thoughts, I finished tidying up after dinner. Back in my room, I opened my secret closet. Inside were the sexy outfits and naughty toys I had been secretly collecting, ever since the day I first bought a babydoll—all just to show Gen-chan.

What should I wear tomorrow to throw him off balance? Or maybe I should show him tonight, right now?

Holding glittering nipple pasties with dangling tassel-like charms against my chest before the mirror, I smiled mischievously.

The sweet, frustrating little game between us was far too fun to resist. I didn’t notice in the slightest that he was standing at the brink of despair.

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