Returnee from Another World - Chapter 55: Vanished Memories

Chapter 55: Vanished Memories

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“That’s my wish. Even if it’s true, there’s no point in reliving life if I lose the ones I cherish, just like in this life. I’m not asking for much—just what I should’ve been able to hold onto. So no one can hurt them. So no one can take them away. I want them by my side, forever.”

“Understood. However, a wish requires a price.”

“Yeah, I get it. To make a wish come true, I’ve got to pay a price, right? So, what’s the cost?”

“Your memories. You need not retain memories of what you’ve done or what you’ve lost.”

“My precious memories, huh? Hmph, you think I’ve got any left? After losing everything, what kind of precious memories could I possibly—”

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I woke to a warm sensation on my cheek. Slowly opening my eyes, I saw Ayano Kato’s worried face before me.

“Were you having another nightmare?” she asked.

“No, I’m fine. You were sleeping so cutely, I couldn’t help but kiss you. Sorry for waking you,” Ayano said.

Her expression told me otherwise. I was probably thrashing in my sleep again. Ayano didn’t mention it, likely sparing my feelings to keep me from worrying.

It must’ve been that familiar nightmare. Maybe bitter memories from that world, or the怨念 of those I’d killed haunting me with bad dreams. I couldn’t recall the details, but it definitely wasn’t a happy dream.

“No, it’s okay. What time is it?” I asked.

“Almost ten, I think,” Ayano replied.

“That late? I overslept,” I said.

“It’s fine once in a while, right? Spending the morning like this, taking it slow,” she said.

Ayano was off today, and we had no pressing plans. I hadn’t meant to sleep until nearly noon, but it wasn’t a problem. Still, was I mentally exhausted? The half-remembered past memories gnawed at me, leaving me unsettled daily. If I was reliving my life, there had to be a reason. I kept sinking deeper into those thoughts.

Physically, I was in peak condition. The only late night recently was with Yukari Higuchi, and my body didn’t need much sleep. Last night, I went to bed with Ayano just past midnight, so oversleeping likely stemmed from mental strain.

Yukari’s situation was part of it. I’d been thinking about managing her violent impulses, and while sending her after the 4th Generation Shoryu Family wasn’t ideal, it was better than letting her harm civilians. Still, I felt an odd unease about my decision. It was my choice, but something about it didn’t sit right—purely instinctual, with no clear reason. Maybe, like reliving my life, it held some meaning. Or maybe I was overthinking it.

“Guess we’ll order delivery and take it easy today,” I said.

“I can make lunch if you don’t mind it being a bit late,” Ayano offered.

“That’d mean no cuddling in bed until lunch is done. You okay with that?” I teased.

“No way!” Ayano replied, her face lighting up with joy as she slipped under the covers. She began wriggling out of the sweatshirt she wore as pajamas.

“Any plans to go out this afternoon?” she asked.

“Hm? Got somewhere you want to go? I might head out in the evening, but I’m probably free until then,” I said.

“No, I just wanted to spend time alone with you like this. Will you be back late?” she asked.

“Nah, shouldn’t take too long. But you never know until it happens,” I replied.

As we talked, Ayano, in her underwear, snuggled up and started touching my crotch.

I planned to visit Yasunaga’s loan-sharking office that evening. It was a bit early, but under the pretense of negotiating money, I wanted to check if the Shoryu Family incident had caused any stir. I couldn’t bring it up directly, so I might get no info. If so, that’d mean no issues had surfaced yet. It hadn’t even been a week since Yukari roughed up that Shoryu thug, and it was a one-time thing, so I didn’t expect much movement.

“Cuddling’s fine, but we haven’t ordered lunch—or breakfast,” I said.

“Just a little. Like a morning greeting. You’d feel better after one round, right?” Ayano said.

It was the usual scene. When Ayano stayed over, she almost always sucked my cock the next morning. On days off like today, it led to sex; on school days, it was just a blowjob to avoid being late. Her eagerness likely came from addiction to the slime’s secretions.

“Alright, just a quick greeting,” I said.

“Ugh, you’re so mean, Shuu. You know sucking your cock makes my pussy all wet and craving you,” Ayano pouted.

“Kidding. So, pussy or ass—which do you want?” I asked.

“My ass… I cleaned it properly in the bath earlier,” she said.

“Fully prepared, huh?” I teased.

“Well, we haven’t done it in my ass much lately,” she admitted.

Ayano spoke shyly but with a spoiled tone. I knew she felt more pleasure anally, but anal sex required time, so on weekdays, it was mostly her pussy. She must’ve been looking forward to today.

“Guess so. I’ll make sure to ravage your ass today,” I said.

“Yay! I love you, Shuu.” She kissed me repeatedly, climbing on top of me.

Her warm hand slipped into my underwear, but as I enjoyed her touch, my mind drifted elsewhere.

Did the me in my memories want to save Ayano too? Or was I just caught up for some other reason? I feel some affection for her now, but that’s only because our physical intimacy gradually swayed me. It’s hard to believe the me who abandoned Ayano felt the same way.

There’s the me who tried to save Ayano and got bullied by Sakaki Shintaro’s group, and the me who abandoned her. The relationship with Ayano leading up to those moments should differ. Something must’ve triggered me to want to save her. It’s strange not understanding my own feelings from so long ago, but without those memories, there’s no helping it. Maybe I always liked Ayano, got sulky when we drifted apart in high school, and hid my feelings. Something must’ve changed those twisted emotions.

“Hey, was I always in love with you?” I asked.

“Huh? What do you mean? Like, was I always in love with you?” Ayano replied.

“No, I mean exactly that—did I love you?” I clarified.

“You? Why ask me that?” she said.

“Look, before we got like this, did you ever feel, even a little, that I was into you?” I asked.

“Oh, that. Maybe I’m being conceited, but I kinda felt it a bit,” she admitted.

“Just in middle school, or even after we got to high school?” I pressed.

“Yeah, even in high school. Sometimes it felt like you were watching me,” she said.

“Really?” I asked.

“Well, I’m not sure. Maybe I was just flattering myself. So, what’s the truth?” she asked.

“Dunno. Maybe I did, maybe I didn’t,” I said.

Ayano pouted at my cold-sounding words. She probably wanted me to say I’d always loved her, but I couldn’t lie. Or maybe I just wasn’t certain I’d loved her back then.

“It’s not like I fully understand my own feelings. You can’t perfectly explain when you started liking me either, right?” I said.

“I liked you from the start,” she insisted.

“Really? You seemed a bit cold in high school,” I countered.

“Tch, that’s because I didn’t realize my true feelings. We’d been together since we were kids, so my sense of liking you got numb. Probably,” she said.

“Hm, fair enough,” I replied.

“You don’t believe me?” she asked.

“Nah, I believe you. I can feel your overwhelming love now,” I said.

“I love you so much it drives me crazy,” Ayano said.

I knew it was partly the pleasure talking. But I didn’t doubt her love was fake. Whether someone loves you for your looks, personality, or money, it’s just a matter of different triggers—nothing changes. Even if the parasitic slime caused it, that’s part of my unique ability, something no one else can replicate.

The issue was my feelings. The me who abandoned Ayano loved Kyouka Amasawa. If I’m reliving my life due to regret over losing Kyouka, it’d be to redo things with her. So why did I desperately try to save Ayano? I can’t even recall what my relationship with Kyouka was like back then.

Lost in that spiraling train of thought, I shared a deep, affectionate kiss with Ayano.