Returned from Another World, Earth Turned Out to Be Quite the Fantasy Too. Also, Losing Heroines, Stop Looking This Way.

Please Rate this Novel 5★ on NovelUpdates!

Chapter 38: “Shuten Doji and Tamamo-no-Mae? That’s Totally Overkill!” ①

“Ahem. Allow me to reintroduce myself—I am Tamamo-no-Mae. Natsuki Yura-dono, your name has already echoed throughout Kyoto… I humbly ask that you please refrain from destroying our lovely city.”

With that, Tamamo-no-Mae gave a deep, formal bow in Natsuki’s direction.

“…I haven’t even destroyed anything yet, and I’m already getting treated like some kind of god of destruction—de kappa.”

“Your sentence ending’s falling apart.”

“Mammon-mammon.”

“Regretfully, mammon-mammon has already transcended to another dimension. Mere mortals like us shouldn’t toss that phrase around so lightly.”

“…Okay, okay—enough nonsense. Let’s get back to the actual topic.”

Watching the back-and-forth between Natsuki and Koume, Senju gave a strained smile and tried to steer the conversation forward.

“Anyway, we didn’t come to Kyoto just to go on a destruction spree, so you can relax and raise your head now.”

“O-Oh… thank goodness. I’m so relieved to be dealing with someone actually reasonable.”

“But y’know… even if cultural landmarks and national treasures did get destroyed, they’d still live on in our hearts.”

“HE’S TOTALLY PLANNING TO DESTROY STUFF!!”

“It’s a joke! A Hero joke!”

“Yeah well… it’s not really funny…”

Natsuki laughed brightly—

“Hahahaha!”

But no one else had the heart to laugh along.

“Huh?”

“So, kid—what made you decide to kill Shuten Doji? Y’know, one of the top-tier youkai, famous nationwide for being a super hot daddy among monsters?”

“Chill with the hype!”

“I’m not hyping it up! Shuten Doji is literally the handsome daddy figure all the youkai in Japan look up to!”

“Well, that handsome daddy youkai is messing with my peaceful life, so I came to kill him.”

“What the heck did I even do to you!?”

“Like, everyone keeps going, ‘Shuten Doji this, Shuten Doji that’—so I figured, might as well just kill him and get it over with.”

“What kind of logic is that!? Nope, this kid’s still terrifying.”

To be fair, most spiritualists in Kyoto had already marked Shuten Doji as their top elimination target.

Even his own son, Kin Doji, came after Natsuki with full-blown murderous intent.

So in a way, holding Shuten Doji accountable wasn’t totally unreasonable.

“…But I’ve been living a totally normal life since the war, you know?”

“Yura-dono. Whatever his past may hold, I can assure you—today’s Shuten Doji poses no threat to humanity.”

“Like I said earlier, I haven’t eaten a single human in decades.”

Most psychics still believed that oni ate humans by default.

But Shuten Doji flat-out denied it.

And Natsuki, now genuinely curious, leaned in a little to hear more.

“Well, y’know… it wasn’t just oni. Even fox spirits—and heck, even gods—used to eat humans back in the day. We didn’t just feed on meat and blood—what we really craved was spiritual energy. Back then, there were constant fights—between youkai, against gods, even monsters from overseas. So yeah, grabbing a human snack along the way kinda made sense. Though, to be honest… there was a bit of cannibalism here and there. But straight up? Oni meat tastes disgusting.”

“…Wait. So does that mean humans taste good?”

“Truthfully? Nah. They’re gross too.”

“…Apologize to all the people you ate!!”

“Sorryyy~”

Shuten Doji just casually called humans disgusting, and Natsuki kind of rolled with it.

But Senju and Yusuke?

They looked absolutely horrified.

Pretty sure even the people who got eaten would be offended hearing their deaths were… bland.

“It was all about recharging our power. And hey—if I have to eat something, I’d rather it be something tasty, right? I finally figured that out after the war.”

“…That’s actually kinda recent.”

“Oh, food was good even in the Edo period, don’t get me wrong. But once the war ended, Western culture started pouring in, and everyone’s lifestyle changed completely. The food? Off-the-charts amazing.”

“Can’t really relate to that era…”

Unfortunately, Natsuki had no grandparents.

He’d never had anyone to share stories from the old days with.

The local old folks told him stuff now and then, but even those were more recent than the kind of tales Shuten Doji was spinning.

“I’ve fought more battles than I can count. And after going through war? I was done. Didn’t need to stockpile power anymore, so I gave up eating people. And honestly? Modern food life is amazing! I freaking love foreign booze!”

“…For someone who ‘gave it up,’ you’re still stupid strong.”

“Oh? You can tell?”

Shuten Doji had been suppressing his power—

But after spending some time around him, it became easier to sense the insane strength he was hiding.

“Yeah, I can tell. You stopped gathering power, and even then… you’re nuts.”

—Shuten Doji’s strength was on par with the gods.

Natsuki could feel it—

This was a power comparable to Susanoo-no-Mikoto, right before he drew the legendary Ame-no-Murakumo sword.

No wonder this guy was both feared and worshipped across Japan as a top-tier youkai.

Natsuki couldn’t help but shiver a little.

“…If Shuten Doji had kept building up power… Or seriously tried to kill me instead of goofing around… Yeah, I probably wouldn’t stand a chance right now.”

“Hardly anyone could beat me anyway, so don’t worry about it.”

“…Well, for now, that’s true. But if I went all out, for real? I’d win easy, y’know?”

“Sure, sure. Let’s go with that. Honestly, fighting and killing’s just too much of a hassle.”

Shuten Doji brushed it all off with the ease of a chill adult—

Which made Natsuki puff up his cheeks like a sulking kid.

“Whether I’m stronger than Shuten Doji or not—let’s set that aside for now. Anyway, I get it. You’re not out here eating humans anymore.”

“Yup. These days, I’m just living my best peaceful bachelor life. Work hard, break a sweat, eat good food, drink great booze—That’s all I need for a perfect life.”

“…Honestly? That kinda sounds like a dream lifestyle.”

“You’ll get it when you’re older, kid. Till then, go ahead and be reckless while you still can.”

There wasn’t even a trace of hostility coming from Shuten Doji.

Which made Natsuki wonder—

Why were the spiritualists in Kyoto so desperate to take this guy down?

(Okay, setting those Kyoto psychic weirdos aside for a second… Shinonon at least should’ve realized fighting Shuten Doji is a terrible idea… So why’s she acting all shady?)

That little inconsistency in Shinonome Abe’s attitude lingered in Natsuki’s mind.

～～Afterword～～

Shinonon: “That’s classified~”

Also, side note—

Shuten Doji’s apparently planning to debut as a content creator for alcoholic drinks.

Chapter 38.5: Interlude – “Mukaijima Monster Agents, Right?” ①

(—My name’s Ginko Aoyama. I’m a former high school girl who loves booze and BL! But right now… I’m kinda in the middle of a battle. Someone please save meeeee.)

Location: Outer space.

Aboard the battleship of the Dopnyanya Space Pirate Crew, Ginko Aoyama—dressed in a black suit and rocking a pair of cool shades—gripped her sword, Demonic Blade Taro, as she cut down alien monsters and space beasts left and right.

All while tearing up a little.

“I didn’t even go to Kyoto! I was just quietly doing boring paperwork and now thisssssssss!!”

“Save the whining for later! Natsuki Yura, Kazuto Miyahara, and Senju Nanamori all went through this too!”

“I didn’t want to go through it, okay!?”

Right beside her, swinging the legendary Totsuka-no-Tsurugi, was Seishiro Kanna.

He was also a psychic from the Institute who’d stayed behind during the Kyoto mission.

And now?

Well… let’s just say Susanoo kind of kidnapped them both and tossed them into an intergalactic war against a bunch of ridiculous space pirates.

“U-Um, Seishiro-san? Is it just me, or is there a creepy little girl clinging to your back right now?”

“It’s just your imagination!!”

Seishiro shouted as he sliced an eight-armed space monster clean in half—

But yeah, there was a little girl in all black latched onto his back.

When her eyes met Ginko’s…

She smiled.

A slow, wide, deeply unsettling smile.

(Scary!!)

Ginko barely managed to stop herself from screaming it aloud.

“Uncle Seishiro failed to properly name the sacred sword he received from Tsukuyomi-sama… So now he’s being haunted—No, more like politely pressured—by its lingering spirit.”

The one calmly explaining that?

A five-year-old boy.

Wearing a sleek black suit (no tie), dual-wielding sci-fi handguns, and mowing down monsters like it was nothing.

“…Wait, Yoshimasa-kun!? Why are you here!? Didn’t Jack-san leave you on Earth because it was too dangerous!?”

“Heh… what boy wouldn’t get hyped after hearing the word ‘space’? I snuck onto Jack-dono’s ship after masking my presence. Easy.”

“This kid totally has an adult actor hiding inside!!”

“Huh? What’s an ‘adult actor’?”

“S-Suspicious!! You’re way too suspicious!!”

And yet, even with all that chaos swirling around them—

The crew still managed to clear out every enemy in their immediate vicinity.

And then—

“You dare challenge the Dopnyanya Pirate Crew!? So the rumors were true… Earthlings really did annihilate our main fleet—impossib—!”