Returned from Another World, Earth Turned Out to Be Quite the Fantasy Too. Also, Losing Heroines, Stop Looking This Way. - V5 Chapter 02: “There Were Still People From Kyoto?” ② & Interlude

Chapter 02: “There Were Still People From Kyoto?” ②

“The Kyoto attackers—or rather, the idiots who failed to actually attack—got picked up by Tsukuyomi-sensei. But there were still more of them?”

“Tsukuyomi apparently let these ones go on purpose. Unlike the actual attackers, they didn’t do anything—they were just watching. Still, since they’re the masterminds behind the ones who acted, This glorious Amaterasu-Omikami, number one ideal land god, took the liberty of capturing them myself!”

At some point, Koume had Amaterasu locked in a pro-wrestling move, yet she still wore a smug, victorious grin as she said all that.

Natsuki almost made a snarky comment,

But he figured he’d somehow lose the moment he opened his mouth,

So he held back.

“…So this is Amaterasu-Omikami… Between her and Susanoo-no-Mikoto, it feels like Tsukuyomi-no-Mikoto is the only sane one,”

Seishiro muttered under his breath.

Both Senju and Yusuke nodded in solemn agreement.

Only Yoshimasa, ever composed, calmly pushed up his glasses and commented:

“Divine freedom is the privilege of the gods, after all.”

“Um, Amaterasu-sama?”

“Kazuto-kyun! Please, call me Teruko-chan!”

“Uh… okay, then… Teruko-chan.”

“Yaaaay~!”

“…That sugary voice just now gave me actual chills.”

Koume quietly backed away as Amaterasu spoke in a much higher-pitched voice than usual—it was just too weird.

But Amaterasu didn’t seem to care at all.

Her eyes were focused entirely on Kazuto.

“Ahem. Amaterasu-sama, if you could please act like an actual god right now instead of being in full private mode.”

Unkai gently reminded her.

Straightening up, Amaterasu cleared her throat and shifted into a more divine demeanor.

“Now then, to continue. As you may already know, these girls are from the Abe family in Kyoto. And not just any members—these two are the eldest and second daughters of the main line. If I recall correctly, their names are… Abeko Abe and Abemi Abe.”

“Wait, those are their actual names?”

“No, I wasn’t sure, so I just gave them placeholders. They refused to believe I’m really the Amaterasu-Omikami, so I gave them a bit of divine punishment. Though I may have gone too easy on them. Honestly, they laid a hand on Kazuto-kyun, so I was this close to crushing them into paste—but I figured kind, gentle Kazuto-kyun wouldn’t approve of that.”

“Hey, land god! What about me!? I got attacked too, you know!”

“Hahahaha! Oh come on now. You’re the Natsuki-kun—the guy who clobbered that idiot brother of mine. As if any normal human could take you down. Worrying about you would be a total waste of energy!”

“…I’m seriously getting the short end of the stick here!”

Natsuki grumbled, but… he had to admit the psychics from Kyoto hadn’t really posed a threat.

So he couldn’t exactly argue any further.

Still, it kind of annoyed him that Koume and the others were all nodding like, “Yeah, true.”

Would it kill them to at least pretend to be worried about him?

“By the way… why are they wearing sweats?”

“Well, even if they’re bad girls who got captured, not letting them change clothes felt wrong. So I lent them some of my brand-new loungewear. But apparently, they really hated it. Sweats are the best, though!”

“Yeah, lending sweats to girls their age isn’t a bad call… But making them wear them in front of everyone might be the problem. Not that attackers have any right to complain. They should be grateful they didn’t get their heads chopped off.”

The two girls from Kyoto squirmed as if they had something to say,

But with their arms and legs tied up and gags in their mouths, they couldn’t speak.

Still, since their ears were uncovered, it was clear they were at least hearing everything—and mumbling all kinds of protests.

“…Alright then. Let’s just call it—those two are officially out of the game. That just leaves three more. Should be easy to handle by the weekend.”

The biggest threat was still Shinonome Abe,

But Natsuki figured if things got rough, he could just use these two as hostages.

With a wicked grin, he nodded to himself.

“…This kid’s making a face no hero should ever make.”

“Ahh yeah, I’m pretty sure he’s planning to use those two as hostages and wipe out the Abe family.”

“He grew up playing with that family’s kid and now he’s ready to crush them? Where’s your heart, man!? Even angels would do a double take! I thought it was just some edgy hero joke—but you’re serious!?”

Everyone, including Amaterasu, recoiled at the sight of Natsuki’s evil little grin.

And over in the corner, the eldest and second daughters of the Abe family had definitely picked up on the dangerous vibe.

Still tied up, they started squirming and thrashing around in a panic, clearly trying to escape.

〜〜Afterword〜〜

Natsuki-kun: “Fight fair? What’s that—can I eat it? Also, they started it first, so it’s totally fine!”

Chapter 02.5: Interlude – “Just the Usual Two, Huh?”

“Samael-sama, Samael-sama, Samatan-sama.”

“…You’ve been calling me Samatan a lot lately, haven’t you?”

“No, I just say it a lot during recordings, so it kinda slips out.”

“It’s not like I mind or anything, but… I don’t know, it’s a little irritating. Maybe I’ll get used to it eventually. Anyway—what is it?”

Samael, also known online as Samatan the farm-life streamer, took off her boots and stepped inside the house after being called by her subordinate—and fellow staff member—Mammon.

Today’s farming went smoothly.

Spring warmth had finally reached Aomori, and with it came boars and other wildlife.

Samael had just come back from discussing crop damage with the neighboring farmers.

As she entered, she was greeted by Mammon, dressed in a business suit with a cooking apron layered over it, holding a pair of cooking chopsticks like it was the most natural thing in the world.

“What’s for dinner?”

“I got some fresh veggies from Denkichi-san and went full mammon-mammon with them! We’ve got salad, ohitashi, and since we had plenty, I tried making some tempura too—mammon-mammon. Just veggies felt a bit lonely, so I also fried up some tonkatsu, nice and crispy—mammon-a-mammon!”

“As expected of Mammon!”

“I even made sure the beer’s nice and cold—mammon-mammon.”

“Perfect! So, you said you had something to talk about?”

“Ah, yes! Forgive me, I got too caught up—mammon-mammon. Lately, I’ve gotten so used to being a mammon-mammon housewife, I ended up chatting for ages at the supermarket with one of the neighborhood ladies—mammon-mammon.”

“Sounds nice to me. Peace is the best.”

Samael wiped her hands and face with the cool towel Mammon handed her.

“So, actually… we got a call from the Underworld—mammon-mammon.”

“…From Taichiro-kun?”

“No, from Lucifer—mammon-mammon.”

“Oh, Pureheart-kun.”

“Samatan-sama, even though this Mammon has crossed swords with Lucifer many times, saying Pureheart outright feels a bit too mammon-mammon… Could you at least call him Isshin—mammon-mammon?”

“It’s the same thing.”

“It subtly changes the vibe—mammon-mammon.”

“I don’t get it,” Samael sighed.

Even though they were technically the same age, talking to Mammon sometimes felt like trying to understand the language of an entirely different generation.

She knew she wasn’t exactly a trendy youth anymore…

But Mammon wasn’t supposed to be either, right? And yet here they were.

“Well, whatever. So what’s the actual point?”

“They’re planning to start a school for video streamers in the underworld—mammon-mammon, to help train the younger generation.”

“Yeah, no. I get it already. Let me guess—they want me to be a teacher or something, right?”

“—Gasp!”

“Don’t you gasp me! I knew that’s where this was going! It’s so obvious! And seriously—why would Pureheart-kun ask you to bring me this kind of request!?”

Samael couldn’t help but wonder if Lucifer, always the overly serious type, had finally cracked under the stress.

She’d known him for a long time.

Never thought of him like a son or anything, but…

As the son of a former rival, she had kept an eye on him over the years.

And if that same Lucifer was now seriously planning to open a video streamer school in the Underworld—

Well, it might be time to gently recommend him a good therapist.

“Recently, similar trends have started popping up even in the underworld—mammon-mammon. The Demon Realm doesn’t want to fall behind either—mammon-mammon.”

“Is that really the kind of competition you guys should be focused on!?”

“For demons, video streaming is actually a great system—mammon-mammon. Nowadays, we don’t go around demanding souls in exchange for contracts anymore. So instead, we accept monetary tips and offer fun videos in return—mammon-mammon. In a way, it’s an ideal setup for modern demons.”

“…Swapping out souls for Super Chats, huh. Feels kinda… cheap now.”

“Samatan-sama may say that, but some generous viewers toss in ten thousand yen at a time—mammon-mammon.”

“What!? That’s two cases of beer!!”

“…Samael-sama, you’ve kind of mellowed out since moving to the human world. Back in the day, you were the most hardcore of hardcore demons—you were all mammon-demmon and everything.”

“You fool! Do you have any idea how hard people work just to buy their precious beer!?”

“In that case, why not do a beer-themed video series, Samatan-sama—mammon?”

“Hoh… Like, review videos where I drink and share my thoughts?”

“No no. I meant something like, ‘How many days can Samatan go without beer’—mammon-mammon style.”

“Absolutely not!”

“Such a mammon-mammon diva.”

“Don’t take away my one daily joy! Also, I’m not going all-in on this streaming thing, okay!? Samael’s main job is still being a farmer!”

It’s easy to forget sometimes, but Samael was, at her core, still an apple farmer.

Meanwhile, Mammon had been sentenced to a “punishment” where he wasn’t allowed to return home until the video channel Samael started out of boredom hit one million subscribers.

There was… a slight difference in the way each of them viewed the whole situation.

“You say all that—mammon-mammon—but you were just celebrating the other day because revenue went up, and now you’re spending it on craft beer! So I think a little bit of mammon-mammon sacrifice to hit a million subs wouldn’t hurt, Samatan-sama!”

“…Alright then. During my beer-ban challenge, you’re not allowed to see Ako-chan, got it?”

“…I humbly request we forget that conversation ever happened—mammon-mammon.”

“You really are head-over-heels for Ako-chan, huh!”

“She’s an angel who descended to Earth—mammon-mammon!”

“Coming from you, someone who people theorize used to be an angel… that hits weird. Also, aren’t you a demon now? Can’t you come up with something more demonic to say?”

“Ah! The tempura’s making that perfect sizzling sound, so if you’ll excuse me—mammon-mammon!”

“You totally ran away!”

Samael looked like she was about to say something to Mammon—

But held back.

Mammon might be her subordinate, sure,

But he was also her friend.

And honestly… maybe staying here on Earth would make him happier.

But that’s not something she should decide.

One day, Mammon might choose to return to the underworld.

If that time ever came, she’d help him think things through—together.

(Well… it’s not like my channel’s ever going to reach a million subs anyway… But the mammon-mammon channel just passed forty thousand. Worst case, maybe that one actually makes it there.)

—And so,

Aomori remained peaceful.

〜〜Afterword〜〜

Samatan Channel: 36,721 subscribers

Mammon-Mammon Channel: 41,073 subscribers