Chapter 80: A New World

How did it come to this? This is insane. Today was supposed to be just a secret date with Ryu-san—so why the hell is it turning into a total mess? Well, I expected things might get rough, but not to this extent. And it’s all thanks to that glasses-wearing kid who not only wet himself but also ended up in the fountain. If it weren’t for him, I wouldn’t have ended up bringing Ryu-san home.

“Phew, the AC feels amazing.”

Freed from the scorching sun, Momiji tossed off her socks and patted her chest. Usually, that’d be a service scene for the audience—but to me, it only looked like battle preparation.

“W-well, why don’t you hit the shower for a bit? You’re drenched in sweat.”

At this point, I have to stall for time—time until my arousal finally subsides.

“Hey, hey, hey, what the hell are you even saying?”

Without a moment’s hesitation, he stripped off his clothes in an instant. A truly masterful display of undressing—absolutely mesmerizing. Now, hurry off to the bathroom. Don’t strip here. And for the love of God, don’t toss your freshly undressed, sweat-soaked panties onto someone else’s bed—especially not on the pillow.

“Th-this person is a nudist too?! And so smooth…”

Even Ryu-san is visibly shaken. It’s no wonder—a woman you just met comes into the house and goes completely naked.

“Kogoro? You just couldn’t take your eyes off, could you?”

“What do you mean?”

“The way your eyes followed those bouncing boobs when I stripped.”

Of course I did. They bounced so wildly I nearly damaged my Cooper’s ligaments. When you’re on the verge of getting punched, it’s only natural to avert your eyes.

“And even your cock, which had been calming down a bit, is back in full power mode.”

So don’t point your finger—it just directs Ryu-san’s gaze, and she might pass out at any moment.

“If you were a man, you’d be doing the same…”

“Would you? Do you really think you’re attracted to anyone but your true love? Are you trying to blame your own unfaithfulness on your gender? Do you honestly believe that cheating is some kind of manly virtue? Even after spending over an hour messing with my boobs, you’re still being seduced by Momiji’s useless tits? What’s next—two hours of rubbing? Or three? I wouldn’t mind if you did it all day, every day. You could even do it on your way to school, or during class if you explain the situation to the teacher. So, shall we resume now? Get to know the sensation of every part of Kogoro’s body—my hand, my face, my cock, every bit of it.”

Man, I really said too much. I meant it as nothing more than a natural reaction, but now it’s being taken as an excuse for infidelity. Nothing I say ever fails to backfire.

“Saka-chan, what the hell was that about? After raping me, did you go and suck every bit of his chest too? Are you really that insatiable? And… are you pumping out sperm by the bucketload with those—uh, rather small… balls? Your productivity is through the roof!”

I’d like to think they aren’t that small, but that’s not the point. If I don’t do something about being labeled a rapist, I’m headed for jail.

“I didn’t rape you!”

“But I was sleeping in your bed, Saka-chan! And my crotch was wet! Plus, your thing was in full battle mode!”

“You got wet on your own, didn’t you? It got wet when you looked at my crotch.”

That line is a hundred times creepier than any half-baked narcissist’s rant. Just how impressive does my thing have to be for you to say that?

“…Maybe so.”

I don’t know much about the female body, but is it normal to get that wet just like that? No lotion needed—if anything, you’d need oil blotting paper.

“I put you to bed because you passed out.”

“Thanks. But why has it gotten so crazy? I’ve never seen it like this before—it’s what you’d call… an erection, right?”

There are still people like this in this day and age? Normally, wouldn’t you at least Google it sometime between elementary school and middle school? I don’t know, but I’d think even girls would do it at least once.

“That was Kaede’s boobs…”

“Oh! I remember now! Y-you two… d-did that… with Hiiragi’s butt… and then you… c-came…!”

“Wait—!”

Don’t say it! It’s already bad enough that I groped Kaede’s boobs, but if you bring up assjobs… If you bring it up…

“Kogoro? Did that guy just say something absolutely insane?”

See!? I knew Momiji would pick up on it! And if I handle this wrong, I’ll end up being the one to stick it in!

“Well, not that the current situation isn’t already pretty insane.”

Oh, so Momiji can make rational judgments? She’s capable of recognizing craziness? And yet, despite knowing that, she still stripped naked the moment she walked in. I’m genuinely surprised she has any reasoning skills at all.

“So? What exactly got sandwiched? Don’t tell me you had her squeeze it between her nose or something?”

Yeah, never mind. She’s got no reason whatsoever. The fact that she can even joke about it means she can imagine it. What the hell, nose-squeezing? Why do these people keep unveiling entire new worlds that I never knew existed? They’re using parts of the brain that normal people never activate.

…Wait. The emotional instability, the incoherent speech—this is clearly a frontal lobe issue. And then, there’s this insane level of creativity… What if the curse actually enhances brain activity? That would explain the boosted physical abilities, too…

“No, it was just simple, straight-up cock.”

“Well, yeah. Since I heard ‘came,’ it obviously had to be dick-related.”

Phew. If I hadn’t been cleared of being a rapist, the next step would’ve been getting labeled a fetish freak. I’ve had enough complications. Thanks to these people’s overactive imaginations, my days have been feeling way too long lately.

“So? Did you… you know… let it out? The stuff these girls worked so hard to produce?”

“Hii—!?”

Please don’t trace your fingers along my balls out of nowhere. It tickles, and I can’t help but worry about what happens if you grab them.

“Ah! Didn’t it just move!? The little guys twitched just a bit upward!?”

Kaede, don’t get so excited over this. I get that you’re a girl of a certain age and all, but don’t whip out a camera at every opportunity.

“Again! Move it again!”

“…Fine.”

“Amazing! He’s making it move without using his hands!”

I feel like I’ve been put on display at a freak show. Even Ryu-san is watching with wide-eyed fascination. And—wait, isn’t her breathing getting a little too heavy? She’s not about to pass out again, is she?

There’s practically a press conference level of camera flashes going off, but this really isn’t that big a deal. Stop wasting your DSLR batteries on this.

“You’re seriously badass.”

“D-don’t tap it.”

“I mean, your sack is really stretched out today.”

That doesn’t justify touching it! This thing is delicate, okay? Handle with care. It’s fragile.

“I can’t believe you hid something this amazing from me for a whole year.”

Normally, people hide this kind of thing from everyone except their lovers.

“I was kept in the dark for ten years, you know? I’ve been with Kogoro since I was little. Then suddenly, one day, without any warning, I got thrown away when puberty hit! Ahaha! I’LL NEVER FORGIVE YOU!”

Why are you suddenly flexing your childhood friend status and then immediately breaking down!? Your emotions are a mess!

“You guys are messing with it too much… You do realize that even a little impact can make it hurt, right?”

Ryu-san, you’re the only kind one here. While we’re at it, could you do me a favor? Please stop looking.

“Geez, Ryu-chan, you’re such an exaggerator.”

“B-but listen, one of my club members flicked a guy’s forehead as a punishment game once, and he screamed like a frog getting stepped on! And that was just from a high school girl flicking him!”

Of course it hurts! Can you flick your own eyeball? Even a flick to the forehead or cheek stings! It doesn’t matter if it’s a high school girl—it hurts.

“Anyway, who even are you? Why are you here? And why are you wearing clothes? Just watching?”

Excuse me, but wearing clothes is normal. You’re the weird one for stripping naked the second you stepped into the room. How are you standing there so confidently, stark naked, with a completely hairless crotch?

“Whoa there, before we worry about who she is, let’s get back to the ejaculation thing.”

Damn it! I thought I’d successfully changed the topic.

Listen, Kaede. This is bad for you too. Just play it cool—

“Kogoro splattered something hot and sticky all over my back and butt! Jealous?”

Right. I forgot. These people see this kind of thing as some sort of trophy.

“Kogoro… You’ve still got some left in the tank, right? Next, I want it on my face and chest…”

That’s definitely not okay! That somehow feels like stepping up to a whole new level of depravity!

“Hey, that’s not fair! Momiji-chan, you’re cheating!”

“I am not! You’re the one who jumped ahead, Hiiragi!”

“I wanted it on my chest, too!”

“That’s exactly why I went for the butt instead!”

Wow, this argument sounds like something straight out of a kindergarten playground. It’s adorable.

Kaede needs to win this one, or I’ll be forced to fire off a second round today. Please, Kaede, win.

Also, Momiji, could you not sit down? Could you not plant your sweaty, bare ass on my bed? And could you please take a damn shower already!? You’re going to catch a cold sitting in an air-conditioned room covered in sweat.

“Well, fine, Momiji-chan can be the main event, but let me take a supporting role.”

“I see. A testicle massage, huh? Yeah, I can allow that.”

“Alright, let’s do our best!”

This is, without a doubt, the worst possible outcome.

Why do they never let me have a say in anything? Even if the curse gets lifted, I don’t think my life will ever go back to normal.