Chapter 8: First Experience

I’m really glad my little sister took a liking to Kaede. Truly relieved.

Otherwise, she might’ve insisted on sleeping in my room or something.

…But was it really a good thing?

If I let her sleep here, that’d basically mean the moat around my castle was already filled, wouldn’t it?

Well, I suppose that’s still better than a direct siege on the main fortress.

Still, I wonder what separates the people who fall for me from those who don’t.

Setting aside Kurokawa-senpai, since she has nothing to do with the curse, so far… there are four of them.

It’s just a flimsy hypothesis, but could it be that the curse only affects people who originally had some feelings for me?

It’s embarrassing to say this myself, but Kaede clearly likes me.

She talks so fast sometimes that I can’t make out half of what she’s saying, but it seems like she was already doing some pretty crazy things involving me even before the curse. I mean, aligning her entire future career with mine? That’s a little too heavy.

Kumanokyo… she’s been messing with me a lot since our first year, so I guess it’s the same for her. She looks like the type who plays around with guys, but I’ve never heard any rumors about her actually doing anything. And now that I think about it, she only shows her cleavage to me.

When I recall that moment, she actually buttoned up properly afterward. She’s just a normal maiden. Sasaki got caught sneaking a glance and ended up getting grabbed by the collar, but if I think back, Kumanokyo’s face was a little red then, too. She’s probably an innocent girl.

She must have been trying her best to seduce me because she liked me. Call it arrogance, but I’m sure there was at least some affection there.

Not “I love you” levels, but maybe the curse kicks in if there’s even a little bit of fondness. That must be it.

As for Toumei-senpai… maybe she’s interested because I’m the only guy who can see her? Not being acknowledged by anyone would probably drive someone insane.

She also doesn’t seem to have any particular grudge against Kurokawa-senpai, who caused all this mess. Maybe she just wants to cherish someone who can actually see her.

But with that theory, I can’t figure out the class rep. What would make her fall for me? If anything, I’m the kind of carefree guy she’d hate.

Wait… That woman tried to baby me, didn’t she? She even tried to feed me non-existent breast milk, right?

That’s probably just her true nature. She’s naturally a mom. The Mom-Class-Rep.

In other words, she already had those maternal instincts. So maybe unreliable guys like me trigger her motherly urges?

…How am I supposed to deal with this tomorrow? Come to think of it, I ran away from Kumanokyo. Man, I really don’t want to see her. Sasaki, sorry in advance if you get dragged into this again.

I can’t move… It’s sleep paralysis again. Probably human-induced this time.

It feels different from yesterday. Yesterday, it felt like a fifty-kilogram weight was sitting on me. Today, I feel like I’m being wrapped up. Even without opening my eyes, I can easily imagine the culprit.

“Good morning, Kaede.”

“Ah, good morning!”

Apparently, I’m a lucky man.

Waking up to my childhood friend straddling me one day, and being used as her body pillow the next.

That’s two consecutive days of fulfilling a man’s dream.

Well, I’d like to enjoy this for a little longer, but I need to get up. If I say something dumb here, I might get hit with some sutra chanting first thing in the morning.

“You came to wake me up, huh? Thanks.”

“…”

“Shall we get changed, then?”

“…”

“Kaede? If you don’t let go, I can’t get up, you know?”

“…”

I’m scared!

“This is scary!”

Sure, the sutras are scary, but silence is terrifying too. Why isn’t she saying anything?

It’s dark, so I can’t see very well, but it’s Kaede, right? That was Kaede’s voice, wasn’t it?

“Kaede?”

“Ah, sorry… I’m just sleepy…”

“Hey, you’re the one who came to wake me up, so you can’t just fall back asleep.”

“I wasn’t trying to wake you up… It’s only three o’clock…”

Without a phone to check the time, I have no choice but to believe her. Kaede told me the current time and promptly drifted back to sleep.

So it turns out I only woke up because she was clinging to me. She hadn’t intended to wake me up.

Alright then, we’ve got another four hours until I need to get up. No wonder it’s still dark in here.

…No, wait! I can’t fall back asleep now! There’s no way I can!

“Nnn…”

And yet, she’s already asleep?! That was way too fast!

She disturbed my sleep and then immediately knocked out again. Unbelievable. Not that I’d know what to do if she were awake, either.

“Nggh… snore… snore…”

I pinched her nose lightly with my one free hand.

Yep, this isn’t fake sleep. She’s genuinely out. The reaction was exactly the same as when I used to do this to my sister.

Alright, time to try slipping out bit by bit without waking her up. It’s a little bittersweet, sure, but I value my life more. If I make her angry while she’s half-asleep, I might end up with my bones shattered.

Good, good. Her grip is loose since she’s sleeping.

…I guess I’ll try to sleep again despite how tense this situation is. If I don’t, I’ll collapse from exhaustion.

The sunlight peeks through the gaps in the curtains. This time, it’s definitely morning.

Well, despite everything, I somehow managed to get some sleep. That’s a relief.

…So why am I face-to-face with Kaede? I was definitely facing the other way when I fell asleep.

I mean, sure, rolling over happens. That’s fine.

The real problem is that she’s holding my arms in a death grip. My legs are locked, too. And our faces are way too close. I can literally tell what she ate yesterday from this distance.

“Kaede, good morning. Could you let go of my arms—”

“It’s such a lovely morning, Kogoro. Sleep is essential for health and beauty, so it’s always good to get enough rest. But you know? Today is one of those days where you should have stayed up. Everyone pulls an all-nighter once in a while—it’s no big deal for one day. So why did you sleep so soundly? No, really, how were you able to sleep soundly in this situation?

“You had a defenseless childhood friend right in front of you. Why did you just go back to sleep? You could’ve kissed me if you wanted to, or touched my boobs or my butt, right? Adolescent boys are basically always in heat, aren’t they? I mean, you guys get excited just from hearing words like ‘six’ or ‘socks’ in English class. So why, in this perfect situation, did you choose sleep?

“You’re supposed to spend your brainpower figuring out how to look up a skirt or pretend it was an accident to grope someone’s boobs, or how to hide erotic magazines from your parents. That’s what teenage boys do. So why, when you had a totally legal, no-limits, all-you-can-touch plan available, did you not sign up?

“You could’ve devoured my lips, touched me all over, and when I woke up, we could’ve agreed to go all the way. From there, you’d secure a lifetime contract with the all-you-can-do plan. But instead, you chose sleep—what a useless decision!

“The answer’s obvious. It’s because I have zero charm as a woman! Even horny monkeys that get excited over blurry erotic images and heavily-edited gravure idols don’t look my way. I’m like a rotting tomato that no bird or insect wants to touch. That’s what I am. I haven’t changed at all since the day I was abandoned.

“Do you want to see my search history on my phone? It’s all stuff like ‘bust enhancement,’ ‘diet tips,’ and other junk like that. I’ve sifted through clickbait articles trying to find the golden info, but none of it worked. I searched for things like ‘bust enhancement for middle schoolers,’ ‘bust enhancement through diet and exercise,’ and even desperate stuff like ‘diet pills for anorexia.’

“The search results were always garbage, showing me the same scam websites over and over. I don’t know how it works, but it’s probably collusion—search engines conspiring with scam sites.

“So yeah, my search history is as much of a mess as my emotions. Bust enhancement, diet plans, sexy underwear, how to seduce someone, aphrodisiacs, hypnosis, brainwashing, creating situations where things just ‘happen’—all the typical search terms of a girl hopelessly in love. But in the end, I got nothing.

“While I was crying my eyes out, wetting myself, and throwing up night after night, you were off playing naughty games and… well, you know, directing what I want into tissues—”

“Ka-Kaede!”

“What? What is it?”

“G-Good morning kiss!”

“…Hnn?”

Soft…

All I could do was savor the softness of her lips.

I couldn’t think of anything. I didn’t want to think about anything. It felt like I shouldn’t.