Chapter 54: The Signature

My mental state is completely shattered. Not only did I have to deal with the school nurse’s “delicate zone,” but I was also forced to shave her armpits.

And for some inexplicable reason, she insisted on using a razor instead of hair removal cream. What kind of fetish is this?

“You’ve got quite the talent, Sakamoto-kun.”

What do I even say to that? There’s not a shred of happiness in me right now. Sure, maybe having some talent is better than none at all, but still.

“Could you all just get dressed already? It’s a weekday morning, and five of us—male and female—are sitting here naked. That’s way too much. And on top of that, we’re all completely hairless.”

Seriously, students and faculty engaging in shaving play on school grounds? That’s unprecedented. Ugh, the garbage bin is overflowing with the evidence of our deeds. Accidentally looking inside would scar anyone for life.

“Hearing that from you with your junk out just doesn’t have much impact, you know?”

Well, excuse me, I’m a guy! And don’t stare dreamily at it—seriously, that only makes it harder.

“You know, I’ve always wondered… Sogoro, why are you so quick to put your clothes on?”

You’ve been wondering about that? What kind of dog-like worldview are you living with?

“Whatever, I’m putting my clothes on now, and so should you all. Especially you, Sensei.”

“Fine, fine, boys these days are so uptight.”

No, you’re all just too laid-back! Never in my life did I think I’d see a teacher’s breasts up close like this. But having to shave them? That, even less so.

“Sensei, maybe you should just get back with your boyfriend. You could say you were drunk or come up with some excuse…”

“…Why? Why should I get back with him?”

Why? Isn’t it obvious? There’s no reason not to. Breaking up over shaving play is ridiculous; it gives me secondhand guilt. Not that I was at fault here.

“He wouldn’t let me shave him, wouldn’t let me touch his balls. Why should I get back with such a terrible guy when I’ve got a boy now who lets me do whatever I want?”

Your standards for “terrible” are completely skewed. And who’s this “boy” you’re talking about? Don’t tell me it’s supposed to be me. I don’t remember consenting to this.

“You’re an adult. You need to—”

“You’re the one who needs to get it together!”

Wait… Could this be…?

**”An adult? Sakamoto-kun, you didn’t say anything when I stripped, did you? Coincidentally, I’m wearing my favorite underwear today, and I’d say my breasts are better shaped and larger than the average woman’s. But all you said was, ‘Put on some clothes’ and ‘Don’t strip.’ A normal man would’ve had his lower brain take over the moment he saw me in my underwear and jumped me. But you, like my ex, had this cold, detached look in your eyes. Even though your little guy was standing at attention, you still managed to scold me calmly. What’s wrong with you?

You even said, ‘Stripping in a public park at midday is a bad idea!’ What does that even mean? A man and a woman—shouldn’t their instincts scream to strip the moment their souls connect? Things like common sense or laws are just rubber bands in the face of love! Making a woman feel humiliated while hiding behind excuses like ethics and public morality—how is that not against your sense of duty? If men and women want to truly connect, it should be through—”**

“STOP! They’ll hear us outside! Teachers will barge in, and it’ll be a disaster!”

This woman… she’s cursed too. There’s no other way to explain this insanity.

Damn it, my perception of her as a composed, mature woman just crumbled in an instant. The Kurokawa family curse is terrifying.

“Teachers? Let them come! Let them misunderstand all they want!”

“Wha—!?”

She’s completely unhinged! She just kicked over the garbage bin filled with the remains of the shaving session. Now there’s hair scattered everywhere, like the floor of a barbershop. If anyone sees this, it’s game over.

“Sensei! What’s going on in there? Why is the door locked?”

Great, now a teacher really showed up! I need to clean this mess up fast… But wait—

“Wh-why are you taking off your clothes?! Hurry up and get dressed! The teacher’s going to—”

“I don’t care if I get fired. There’s no point in staying a school nurse if I’ve been rejected by you, Sakamoto-kun.”

This is way too much. I didn’t pick her up in the first place—how could I possibly be “throwing her away”?

And what’s worse, I can see that even Kaede and the others are starting to undress. What am I supposed to do now? I’m the only one still wearing clothes, there’s a teacher outside sensing that something is off, and this is the situation I’m stuck in. What happens if they see this? What do I do?

“Please calm down! This is beyond just losing your job—it’s on a whole other level!”

“I can’t hear anything from a man who’s trying to throw a woman away.”

“…I’m not throwing you away, so please, just put your clothes back on!”

I’m seriously begging you here. The teacher outside is pounding on the door harder now. If we don’t do something soon, they’re going to come in with a master key.

“Then prove to me that you’re not throwing me away.”

How am I supposed to prove that? Is that even something I can show?

“What, you want me to write a contract or something?”

“Close, but not quite. You’ve got the right idea with the part about writing your name.”

…Huh?

What’s she talking about? She’s handed me a permanent marker, but what am I supposed to do with it?

“Write your name for me, Sakamoto-kun. Your full name.”

“Uh… where exactly am I supposed to write it?”

“Where else? Right here.”

Is this real? She’s pointing at… there. There’s no mistaking it—she’s pointing at her private parts.

“No, absolutely not.”

“I see…”

Oh no. She’s taking a deep breath. I know what this means—she’s about to scream something insane at the top of her lungs.

“I’ll do it! I’ll do it, so please just calm down!”

“Good boy. I like obedient boys.”

Sure, but I hate disobedient girls. And yes, I mean all of you here. Every single one of you.

“Sogoro, we don’t need you to write anything for us. We trust you without that kind of thing.”

Thank you. I love you all. Not having to write my name on your private parts should be common sense, but in this situation, it feels like a miracle.

Wait… What was that sound just now?

“W-what are you doing?”

Suddenly, the door bursts open. The teachers standing there are frozen in shock.

Can you blame them? Four naked women, and a male student pointing a marker at one of their privates. Their brains must have short-circuited.

Was I set up by Invisible Senpai again? What now? There’s no way I can talk my way out of this one.

“Teachers, you didn’t see anything. Got it? Now, kindly close the door and leave. This is the nurse’s office, after all.”

What does “this is the nurse’s office” even mean? How can she act so composed in a situation like this? Trying to play it cool is utterly pointless here!

“W-well, but still…”

The teachers are completely flustered. Honestly, I get it. There’s nowhere safe to look.

“Sensei? If we scream, you’re all getting arrested in one shot. And honestly? I kinda want to scream. Having anyone besides Sogoro see me naked is, like, the absolute worst.”

I can’t even argue with that. At her core, she’s still a maiden. She’s breaking every rule of maidenly conduct right now, but still.

“J-just put your clothes back on already!”

Finally, something that makes sense.

Even the nurse should make some effort to cover herself. And the other three? Just because you’re facing away doesn’t mean it’s fine—your butts are completely exposed! That’s still a part you shouldn’t be showing to men!

“Sogoro, you’ll make it up to me later, right? I’m about to cry, knowing those old men saw my butt.”

Why do I have to make it up to you? I wasn’t the one who made you strip!

“Now then, Sakamoto-kun.”

“What is it? Hurry up and put some clothes on already.”

“Why don’t you go ahead and write your name on my private parts?”

Are you seriously still trying to continue that ritual? This isn’t just a rain-or-shine event—it’s a full-on disaster protocol now!

“S-sensei! What are you doing with a student? Have some shame!”

“And what about you? Ogling naked women while pretending to lecture me? I can hear your heart racing from here. You should be the ones ashamed of yourselves! Hide your dirty thoughts before you start preaching!”

Wow. The sheer audacity. She’s like the queen of shameless deflection.

“T-the nurse has gone mad… This school is doomed…”

Honestly? I feel the same way. Ever since I got cursed a month ago, this school has been on a countdown to its end. I’m not at fault here, but sorry. You might want to think about transferring—it’s not too late. Go make a fresh start somewhere else. This place is finished.

Poor guy. His honesty and integrity are making this an even bigger blow for him. Of course, he’s in shock. The school nurse, once the center of attention for all the right reasons, has become the talk of the school—for all the wrong ones.