Chapter 50: A Stray-Like Harem Formation

Ah, so refreshing. Summer really is the season for drugstores. It’s not officially summer yet, but with this heat, it might as well be. Who even needs seasons? Let’s just decide them based on temperature. Forget about things like the 24 solar terms or the Gregorian calendar. Why make it so complicated?

Drugstores really have everything. They’re like upgraded supermarkets. We should just turn all the supermarkets and convenience stores into drugstores to save space.

“I recommend this one. It doesn’t irritate the skin.”

“It’s fine if you’re using it alone, Momiji-chan, but there are five of us. A tube might not be enough.”

“We’re not doing full-body hair removal or anything. It’ll be fine.”

“What about you, Sakamoto? Any preferences?”

…Sigh. I don’t even have the time to escape reality with random thoughts.

“I’ve never used one, so I wouldn’t know.”

Seriously though, going out with one guy and four girls to buy hair removal cream is like walking into a nightmare. It’s painfully awkward.

Isn’t this the kind of thing people buy alone, discreetly? Or better yet, order online? I don’t think hair removal is shameful, but it’s not exactly something you boldly shop for in broad daylight either.

“Men and women have different hair and skin types, so it’s hard to pick.”

Now that I think about it, is there any reason we all need to use the same product? Wouldn’t it make more sense for each of us to just buy what suits us? Is hair removal cream really something you share and split the cost of?

“Kogoro doesn’t have much body hair, so women’s products should work fine, right?”

“…Not sure.”

“Your skin seems more like a woman’s too.”

“…Not sure.”

Can you even figure that out just by touching someone? I don’t want to sound self-conscious, but isn’t she just using this as an excuse to touch my arm?

“Do you have sensitive skin?”

“…Not sure.”

This is bad. My complete lack of interest in men’s skincare has turned me into a “not sure” bot.

If I keep answering like this…

“Hey, could you take this seriously? It’s your body, Kogoro.”

See? I knew it would turn into this. I get what you’re saying, okay? What I’m doing is the same as when someone asks, “What do you want to eat?” and I answer, “Anything’s fine.” But how am I supposed to answer a question like this? It’s not my fault.

“Don’t come crying to me later if your junk ends up hurting.”

Could you not say stuff like “junk” so loudly in public? Weren’t you supposed to be the shy one?

“It’s kind of nerve-wracking, huh? Never thought I’d end up putting cream on you.”

“Wait, I’m the one applying it?”

We’re not talking about arms or legs here, are we? This is for the delicate zone, right? What kind of weird play is this?

“Well, doing it for everyone would be a lot, so… as your childhood friend, I’ll represent us.”

“Hiiragi-san, you’re starting a war with that line.”

“Yeah, exactly. Wars always start over stuff like this.”

What history book would you even find that in? Humanity isn’t that stupid, right?

“Wouldn’t it make the most sense for Sakamoto to apply it to the person he most wants to?”

She looks so confident she’ll be chosen. But honestly, picking her feels like it would cause the most trouble.

Still, it’s gotta be Shiro, right? Choosing her over the cursed trio seems fairer. Plus, I owe her for breaking curses, so I can’t really afford to upset her.

“Then… Shiro, I guess.”

Resigned, I made my choice. Shiro looked triumphant. Honestly, that smug expression is kind of cute.

“Hehe, see? Honesty is the best policy.”

“Ignoring me, your childhood friend, for Shiro-chan? That’s ridiculous! Shaving someone is an act of ultimate trust—something even married couples rarely do! It’s something only a childhood friend can handle!”

“How long are you going to harp on the childhood friend thing? That’s all you’ve got, isn’t it? If you’ve known him for so long and don’t even have any good stories, doesn’t that mean your bond is weak? Meanwhile, in just one year, I’ve had a much deeper relationship with him!”

…Terrifying.

As if the stares we were already getting weren’t enough, now they’ve started a verbal showdown…

“E-Excuse me, customers… I deeply apologize, but…”

Of course, the store clerk shows up. I’m so sorry. Really, I am.

“What is it? If it’s a survey, could you come back later?”

“N-No, um… it’s just… there are other customers here, so…”

I’m so sorry. This situation is completely out of control, and no one can stop it. Please forgive us.

Poor clerk. I don’t know what your hourly wage is, but just for today, you deserve triple. Even if you’re just a part-timer, they should give you a bonus. And of all people, this poor obviously-underage part-timer has to deal with these monsters. I need to get her out of this.

“Uh, um… these girls are just a bit… excited, that’s all…”

“Kya!”

“A-Anyway, you need to step back!”

This might get me accused of harassment, but there’s no time for that now. I firmly push her back, away from Kaede and the others.

“C-Customer…”

“I’m sorry, but if you stay here, you might get hurt…”

I don’t think they’d resort to violence, but I can’t guarantee it won’t escalate. After all, we’re dealing with curses here.

“Kogoro? Why are you touching another woman? And why are you treating us like dangerous people? I mean, maybe Momiji-chan and the others, but I’m a safe person!”

What does that even mean, a “safe person”? This isn’t the time to get hung up on that.

“I-I’ll handle this, so please, just go over there. I’m really sorry for the trouble…”

“Kogoro, move aside. I’ve got a little something to say to that girl.”

“Don’t cause trouble for the clerk! Stay! Stay!”

They’re completely out of control. I never expected they’d treat the clerk like just another “woman.” Unbelievable.

I can’t say I’m confident about restraining all three of them, but I have to protect the clerk and the other customers…

“…Such a kind gentleman…”

…Huh?