Chapter 49: Smooth, Smooth, Smooth

The situation was chaotic, but it seemed to have helped Shiro calm down. Not that she had forgiven everything, but she looked intrigued by the absurd photo session, her carefree smile lighting up the room.

“Sakamoto, it’s more manly not to cover up, you know?”

Shiro… she’s having way too much fun with this.

“No, but a photo shoot is a bit much…”

“Come on, move your hands already. Hiiragi went through the trouble of bringing a camera.”

Don’t say “went through the trouble” like this is some kind of charity event.

That said, there’s no stopping it now, so I might as well just accept my fate.

“Nice, nice. That expression is irresistible.”

Why does Kaede suddenly look like an adult video cameraman? Is this the vibe of private photoshoots? This can’t be normal.

“Alright, next let’s do a split!”

My dignity… my very dignity as a human being is being utterly destroyed…

And seriously, why bring such an expensive DSLR? What good comes from capturing my embarrassing state in ultra-high resolution? At least use some old, low-quality camera. There’s no need to highlight every wrinkle and pore!

“Hey, Kaede? What exactly are you planning to do with those pictures?”

“Didn’t I say earlier? Like a morning glory observation diary, I’ll take pictures every day and compile them into an album.”

Are you insane? Such an album is nothing short of a cursed object. What if, by some horrible mistake, someone else sees it? Instant trauma.

“Hiiragi, I just had a flash of inspiration.”

I’ve got a bad feeling about this. Whatever it is, it’s definitely not a lifeline.

“It’s the first day, right? Let’s shave.”

…What?

“Shave”… like shave hair? No way. With how unhinged the morning’s antics have been, this feels oddly in line, but shaving? That’s crossing a line.

“I see, you’re going for variation with hair changes. Kaede-chan, you’re amazing!”

So, the idea is to track hair growth since the subject itself won’t change? While it makes a bit more sense than the earlier play, no thanks.

“That’s a good suggestion, Kumanokyo-san. It’s true—smooth is better.”

Apparently, for those into baby play, pubic hair is just a nuisance. Congratulations, I’ve expanded my knowledge yet again.

“I’ll apply the hair removal cream for you. I’ll make everything, even the sack, nice and smooth.”

Shiro, are you still thinking about crushing me? You are absolutely not doing this.

“I’m worried about skin irritation…”

I tried pleading for mercy, knowing it would likely be futile. My concern about skin irritation wasn’t entirely fake—putting chemicals on such a sensitive area sounds terrifying.

“Don’t worry. I’ll use cream that’s safe for VIO areas.”

Why do gals always throw around fancy beauty terms? VIO, VIP, whatever—it’s a mysterious cream, and I don’t want it anywhere near me. I definitely don’t want to shave down there, especially not at the hands of classmates.

“You’re overreacting, Kogoro. A patch test will make sure it’s fine.”

“Oh, so that’s a thing…”

Doesn’t that just confirm there’s a risk of skin irritation? This doesn’t feel right.

“What even is hair removal cream? Is it like shaving gel?”

“Hahaha, not even close. It dissolves the hair.”

Wait, what? Isn’t that just like the stuff used to unclog drains? I feel like my hair roots are going to die. No thanks.

“Come on, give me a break. I’m serious.”

“You hate it that much? Hairless looks cuter, though.”

I don’t care about the “cuteness” of my private areas!

“Why has it been regular size this whole time? It’s not even reacting.”

Why, you ask? Ever since that scat play, all I’ve felt is sheer terror toward you all. Even if it’s the curse’s influence, I can’t see any of you as the opposite sex anymore.

“Are you holding back? Kogoro-chan, you’re so disciplined.”

Stop talking to my lower half. Compliments aren’t welcome here.

“It’s all shriveled up from almost getting grabbed earlier.”

“Kogoro-chan isn’t that much of a wimp. Don’t compare him to Sasaki.”

“Who even is this Sasaki you keep mentioning?”

“He’s in our class—a pathetic guy who doesn’t awaken any maternal instincts.”

What did he ever do to you? And why are you judging people based on whether they awaken maternal instincts? That’s bizarre.

“So, what’ll it be? Shaving or cream? As your understanding childhood friend, I’ll respect your decision.”

“Let me choose ‘neither.’ Also, could I put my underwear back on?”

“Come on, stop joking. So, which one?”

You’re not respecting my decision at all. Wait, is shaving already a done deal for me?

“Ah! I just had the most brilliant idea! I’m seriously a genius!”

Please stop having ideas, I’m begging you. Your “genius ideas” are always just selfish whims. They’re nothing but trouble.

“Look, we’re making an album for ourselves too, right?”

“Exactly. It’s Kogoro-chan’s chance to show off his photography skills.”

Wait, what? When did that become a thing? And why am I the photographer?

“So naturally, we’ll shave too, right?”

“Huh? Absolutely not.”

Thank goodness, Shiro seems somewhat normal. Relatively speaking, anyway. Compared to the others, she’s at least within the realm of sanity.

“First of all, I don’t even want my picture taken. Equating my gorgeous body with this guy’s crotch is absurd.”

I won’t deny the disparity in value, but it would’ve been nice if you also expressed some discomfort about me taking the photos.

“Looking back, I got caught up in the moment, but… staying glued to someone while they’re taking a dump? That’s just insane.”

I’m relieved she seems to have normal sensibilities, being unaffected by the curse. Though getting “caught up in the moment” is questionable. A normal person wouldn’t get swept up in that, would they? So yeah, she’s still weird.

“Then why don’t you leave, Shiro-chan? From here on, it’s non-stop strip show time.”

Did she think that was clever? Because it’s not even a little bit funny.

“Why should I leave? I haven’t crushed this guy’s crotch yet.”

“You’re… you’re still not giving up on that?”

“Of course not. He rubbed that filthy thing on the face of a beautiful girl like me. Step one is castration, obviously.”

Step one? What comes next? Starting with castration is already way too much.

“Knock it off. Quit trying to mess with my jewels.”

I appreciate the defense, but they’re my jewels. At least say, “my man.”

“Sakamoto, do you know what it means to take responsibility? It’s either marriage or castration.”

“Did I wake up in some reversed-isekai?”

“Huh?”

“Never mind…”

I tried to make a point about ethics, but it clearly didn’t land. Still, does she… actually like me? It’s not just adolescent delusion, right? She’s blatantly into me.

“Even ignoring what happened earlier, you saw my ‘toilet face.’ You need to take responsibility for that.”

What even is a “toilet face”? Don’t say it like it’s a “kiss face.” Sure, it’s embarrassing, but you’re the one who showed it to me.

“You know, Sei, the only reason you’re allowed here is because my stepmom and her friends like you. Otherwise, you shouldn’t even be here.”

“Why do I have to listen to this nonsense from a stupid gyaru like you?”

“Sorry, but I absolutely won’t hand Kogoro-chan over to Sei-san. I wouldn’t let anyone else have him either, but Sei-san? Especially not you.”

Why are they so harsh toward Shiro? Is it because she’s the only one unaffected by the curse? Or is it because she’s also trying to harm me?

Actually, let’s flip this around. These yanderes have a weirdly strong sense of camaraderie. Despite all having the same target, they’re like a unified gang. Does that mean Shiro is their enemy?

But why does Shiro even like me when she’s not under the curse?

“Say what you want, but it doesn’t change the fact that he’s planning to have kids with me.”

Don’t point at my crotch. And no, I’m not.

…What should I do? Setting aside her feelings for me, I should keep Shiro, the curse-breaker, on my side. But honestly, she doesn’t seem all that different from the others.

“Hey, let’s all just get along, alright? We may be in different classes, but we’re still classmates. Let’s treasure this connection!”

“Why are you saying that with your junk out? It’s hilarious.”

“Is it okay if I put it away now, Momiji?”

“Of course not, idiot. Are you dumb?”

Then don’t point it out! It’s not like I want to have it out either.

“Alright, Shiro-chan, how about you shave too and join the photo session?”

“If you can’t, just leave. That’s non-negotiable.”

What kind of rule is that—shaving as a condition to stay?

“When in Rome, huh…? Fine, let’s just go buy the cream already.”

Wait, what? Why are you giving in? Resist! If you join the shaving side, I’ll officially have no escape.

Dammit. First my dignity, now my pubic hair. I’ve already lost the right to privacy for my privates.

What’s going to happen to me…?