Chapter 47: Shiro Defeated

Dad, I’m really sorry. You’re already tired from work, and now you’ve got three high school girls coming and going. That’s got to be pretty stressful, huh? Sorry, but it’s about to be four.

“Shiro-chan is the same age as you? She doesn’t look it.”

“Can I call you Shiro-chan? Or would Shiro-onee-chan be better?”

Mom and my little sister have already taken a liking to Shiro. Great. She’s definitely going to be around a lot more now.

My sister’s one thing, but Mom? Seriously? You’re okay with her? This is the same girl who faked moaning over the phone!

“You don’t look like a mother of two either, Okaa-san.”

“My, my, aren’t you sweet?”

Don’t just take flattery like that seriously, Mom!

“Hey, hey, can I call you Shiro-chan?”

“Sure!”

“Yay!”

Stop charming my sister! That’s not your character! You’re supposed to be an aloof, socially awkward wreck!

“Kogoro, if you make such a sweet girl cry, I won’t forgive you.”

Mom, who are you even trying to pair me up with? You’ve already brought four girls into the picture. No matter how this plays out, three of them are bound to end up in tears. Then again, my plan is to make all four cry eventually.

“If you make Shiro-chan cry, I’ll make you cry, onii-chan. No, I’ll make sure you can’t cry at all.”

Wow, sis, you’ve grown. Since when did you get so scary? Not gonna lie, your big brother isn’t thrilled about this. Can’t you just stay my sweet, innocent little sister?

“Shiro-chan, you’ll stay for lunch, won’t you?”

“Oh, then I’ll take you up on that…”

Yeah, saw that coming. But no dinner, okay? And no staying the night. Don’t even think about running home for your stuff and coming back.

“Well then, I’d like to hear the story.”

Kaede-san’s voice is sweet as ever, but her eyes aren’t smiling. Even a small-time VTuber would have more expression than this.

“Um, this is Shiro Sei, a classmate of mine. I don’t know which class she’s in, and honestly, I don’t know much about her.”

I know she’s mentally unstable and that her dad and grandfather are physically strong. Her mom and grandma seem to hold the real power, though, so I didn’t sense that strength from them.

Oh, and she’s tough. If we fought, I’d lose.

“Oh? So Sakamoto hugs and nuzzles random girls he barely knows? Wow, what a natural-born playboy!”

Oh, crap. Right… she saw that scene. Things moved so fast afterward, I almost forgot. That was really bad. How do I even get out of this? There’s no way to smooth things over after she saw that.

“You were showering her with compliments and even confessed, right? You’ve never done that for me, your childhood friend. Why? Why her?”

“Uh… that was just to keep her calm…”

It’s not a lie. She started yelling, so I had to do it to keep her quiet. Same thing when I’ve said cheesy lines or kissed you guys—it’s never been my decision.

“Huh? Keep her calm? Even though you can only get turned on by me?”

“Sorry, but that’s a misunderstanding.”

Shiro might be scary as a curse-breaker, but the three cursed girls are much scarier. I’ll make one of them my enemy to keep the other three in check. How’s that for logic? If I tried to pacify all of them, I’d end up with everyone against me.

Besides, Shiro’s just mentally unstable. The cursed yandere trio doesn’t listen to reason, but Shiro should understand if I apologize and explain later. I just have to get through this moment.

“What misunderstanding?! You spent the night with me and tried to make a baby!”

“I did not!”

Stop equating everything to making babies! It’s just a biological reaction, okay? If you were a guy, you’d get it. It just happens! And stop making me repeat the word “erection” in my head!

“Not to mention, in the sauna, you scarred me for life and licked me all over! You let your desires completely take over!”

“Don’t say ‘scarred’ like that! You poured scalding water on me, so I scratched my arm trying to deal with it! I’m the victim here!”

Honestly, it’s a good thing I didn’t end up with a burn. In that situation, anyone would’ve reflexively thrown a punch. A scratch is a small price to pay.

“You went into the sauna together? So you’re admitting you licked her? Wow. You don’t even know her well, but you went into a sauna, licked her all over, and then tried to make a baby? Ugh… I’m beyond jealous—this is just revolting. I’d torture you if I could, but for now, take your clothes off. Don’t get the wrong idea, okay? It’s not weird or anything. It’s just that saunas can mess with reproductive functions for months. So, I have to check if everything’s fine right now. Come on, hurry up and strip. What’s taking so long? You wouldn’t even go to the bathroom with me earlier. Do you really hate me now? If you won’t strip when I’m this worried about you, that means you don’t trust me, right? It might hurt a little, but if it’s to put my mind at ease, you can handle it. So, why won’t you let me check? The answer’s simple—you’re planning to ditch the three of us for this random girl. Ugh, getting stolen by some new girl is such a shock. You know what? Forget it—I’ll just make the check unnecessary. No need to check if you’re functioning when I can just confirm you’re not functional. Don’t worry, even a refined girl like me can ensure that with one good stomp.”

“Please check me!”

“Eek!”

Let’s just pray Mom and my sister don’t come into the room. Even with family, I don’t want them seeing me bare down there.

“Sa-Sakamoto! Don’t whip it out all of a sudden! I’m not used to this yet!”

Oh, shut up. After everything, it’s too late to complain now. You saw it earlier in the bathroom, didn’t you?

Come to think of it, that was such a bizarre situation. All of us standing around with nothing below the waist—that’s practically a crime scene.

“What? Scared of something so tiny? Aren’t you supposed to be a gal? How lame.”

Hey, don’t call it tiny. It’s not tiny! Besides, what do you even know? You’ve only ever seen your family’s, haven’t you?

“Wha-what?! I’m not scared! I even washed it the other day!”

“…How exactly?”

“How? With a towel, like… you know, like rubbing it down with a towel in cold wind or something.”

Yeah, that happened. It hurt so much I almost punched you. Getting washed by a high school girl—who would’ve thought anger would overpower any other feelings?

“Wow, most people would use soap or body wash on their hands, but you couldn’t even manage that? Some gal you are. So lame.”

What do you even think a “gal” is? And could you stop pointing at my privates while having this dirty conversation? My senses were numb from everything earlier, but they’re starting to come back now.

“Shiro, don’t underestimate me. If I got serious, I could do something like that easily.”

Please don’t use the word “underestimate” right now. It’s giving me all the wrong reactions.

“You have to get serious for something that simple?”

I have some pride, you know. Can you give it a rest already? And hey, you’ve got a pretty unimpressive figure yourself. You’re blushing too, aren’t you? You’re scared, admit it.

“Shiro-san, could you not speak so poorly of Kogoro-chan? I think he’s perfectly fine. Don’t you?”

Class Rep, could you look at my face when you talk? Stop talking to my privates—it’s awkward. Also, I’m pretty sure I felt your breath just now.

This is bad. I need to put my pants back on before… before my body reacts.

“K-Kaede… hurry up and do your check or whatever…”

“Huh? Oh, sorry, sorry. I was just admiring how nice it is every time I see it.”

Don’t get lost in your thoughts like that. It’s not anything special, trust me. And for the record, stripping down by myself in a room is a lot more embarrassing than in a bathroom or something.

“But you know, while I do think it’s nice…”

“Think what?”

“It feels like such a waste.”

What? Stop saying things that don’t make sense and just finish already. I want to put my pants on, fast.

“I mean, we’re childhood friends, right? Childhood sweethearts should make albums together, you know? Like a diary of morning glories, taking pictures every day and comparing them year by year. But that day, when Kogoro abandoned me, I couldn’t make that album. I kept hoping Kogoro would come around, so I took pictures of myself every day and made an album of my own. But really, I wanted Kogoro to take those pictures for me. Oh, I know! Let’s start today! Just stay like that while I grab a camera from the house.”

Wait, what?! I didn’t understand a word of that, but don’t just leave! And stop with the photos already—I don’t want this on record!

“Photos, huh… I thought there wasn’t any need since I could look whenever, but I guess I should take some while I have the chance.”

Shiro!? Why are you pointing your phone at me!?

“St-stop it! Don’t take pictures! Agh!”

Crap, I tripped over my own feet…

“Ah! Whoa… mmph!”

…You know, I once read a super ecchi rom-com manga. It was full of “lucky pervert” moments. One scenario kept popping up again and again. And guess what? I just ended up in that exact situation.

Except this time, the roles are reversed. And it hurts. A lot. I feel awful about this. I’m sorry, Shiro, this was an accident. She’s trembling in shock—hope this doesn’t scar her for life.

Class Rep, Kumanokyo, this isn’t what it looks like. I don’t have some bizarre fetish for… well, this. If I did, I wouldn’t do it with such force.

Wait, Kumanokyo, stop choking me! My lower half’s still in pain…

I’m fading…