Chapter 42: Fourfold Yandere

“Men are seriously so boring. Such utterly pathetic creatures.”

Even though I feel a mix of fear, unease, and pure frustration toward her, my body betrays me at the worst moments. Against my will, it reacts.

Ah, how utterly pointless. These biological instincts are a cruel joke.

“So, you really love me, huh? Forget about breaking the curse; you came here just for me, didn’t you?”

What nonsense is she spouting, this flat-chested lunatic? After dragging me along without saying a word and forcing me to stay overnight, she has the audacity to say that?

“You were totally turned on during training, weren’t you? Gross.”

I was on the verge of death—how could I even think about that? Sure, I might have felt something while scrubbing the floors, but after that, all I felt was raw fear. Ever since she started licking my wounds, I’ve been desperately thinking of ways to sever ties with her.

“I thought I was taking this seriously.”
“Oh, really? But you’re still looking at me like that, aren’t you? There’s no way you could stay calm being so close to me.”

She doesn’t understand. This isn’t something I can control. Even her unimpressive figure can trigger it. Sometimes it happens regardless of who it is.

Arguing is pointless, so I won’t bother.

“Let’s just get this shopping trip over with.”
“Hmm, but what if you drag me into an alley or something? Walking around with a horny monkey is terrifying, you know?”

What’s with that ridiculous cutesy act? Who in their right mind would drag someone like her anywhere? Besides, I wouldn’t stand a chance physically if it came to that.

“…Fine, then. I’ll head back. If we don’t buy supplies, training can’t continue—”
“Huh? Who said anything about not going shopping? Are you hearing things? Are you that tired? You haven’t even done much training, and you’re already exhausted? Oh, I get it—it’s because all your blood rushed to your lower half earlier, isn’t it? Men are so inconvenient. But girls have it a million times harder, so if you don’t acknowledge that, don’t expect to be popular.”

…

“Shopping isn’t some fun outing, okay? You probably think of it as a break, but it’s part of the training. While walking with me, you’ll be fantasizing about doing all sorts of things to me, won’t you? But keep it in your head. I told you before—I’m strong.”
“Yeah… I know you’re strong.”
“Not that it’ll matter, but don’t get hard while we’re walking. Sure, people might think, ‘Well, walking with a model-tier beauty like her would excite anyone,’ but that’s beside the point. If you keep crawling back to me, begging like the pathetic creature you are, there’s maybe a microscopic chance we could end up together. Like 0.0001%. Basically zero. But hey, mistakes happen, right? A man and a woman, after all.”

…

This girl… she’s seriously just…

“So much trouble…”
“…Hic!”

Ah… crap.

I can’t even remember who said it, but a long time ago, someone told me this:

“You’re the kind of guy who wouldn’t even get water at a family restaurant if you went with a group.”

It’s probably the harshest way to call someone a shadow, but they weren’t wrong. It’s infuriating, and I have no idea why they needed to say something so cutting, but I know I have a weak presence, so I couldn’t argue.

And now, here I am—someone with the presence of an invisible man—being stared at like a celebrity in a flimsy disguise. Smartphones pointed at me from all directions.

“Shiro, carrying me in public like this is seriously—”

“…Even though you were aroused by me.”

I wasn’t! It’s just a biological reaction!

“Seriously, you’re holding on too tight. You’re not a koala.”

“Shut up. You’re hard, aren’t you?”

Of course, I am! You were the one who kept touching me until I got like this! Anyone would react if a girl kept touching them, even me!

“Being like this in front of the station is bad enough. Besides, it’s hot, and you’re heavy—”

“…Maybe I should tell my dad about how you got hard in the bath with me. Actually, no, I should tell him. That reaction of yours is meant for making babies, isn’t it? You were trying to make a baby with me, so I have to report it.”

Stop threatening me with your muscle-bound dad! That’s not fair! And your logic is completely insane. You sound like one of those feminists who claim, “Even baby boys are sexual predators because they can get aroused!” Actually, no, your argument might be slightly better, but it’s still ridiculous.

“Enough already. You’ve had your fun, so get off.”

I was at my physical and emotional limit. I decided to force her off gently, trying not to hurt her.

Ugh, she’s stronger than I thought. Fine. If it comes to this, I’ll have to shake her off more roughly—

“Nooo! You’re abandoning me! You tried to make a baby with me in the bath, but now you’re throwing me away just because you’re bored! Even now, you’re still planning to do it, but since I’m not in the mood, you’re discarding me! Someone! Call the police! This guy plays baby games and forces people to change his diapers! Arrest him—arrest Sakamoto Kogoro, seventeen years old! And he’s already made a girl cry twice this morning—”

“Shiro! Let me nuzzle your cheek!”

“…”

“There, there, there! You’re so cute, you know that? Always so cute. When will you ever stop being this adorable? Haha, that’ll never happen, huh? Thank you for being born. Seriously, thank you. Thank you for staying with someone like me. Thank you for letting me pat your head.”

He sounded like some kind of gratitude-spewing rapper.

She’s such a pain. Way worse than Kaede and the others. At least they don’t have this kind of malice—it makes her a hundred times more troublesome.

“Hmph. Nuzzling me and patting my head like this in public, and then throwing in that half-assed sweet talk… just how much do you love me?”

…God, I want to throw her. Should I sprint straight into the wall and crush her between me and it? Should I flatten her chest even more while I’m at it?

“Why aren’t you answering? You don’t love me anymore? Oh, I see. You’re bored of me now…”

Stop. Don’t take a deep breath. Don’t get ready to scream.

Screw it!

“I love you! I love everything about you!”

Ugh, so embarrassing… Stuff like this doesn’t even happen in anime these days.

“Oh? So that’s the kind of girl Kogoro likes, huh? Oh, I get it. It’s that girl you were sneaking around with at school, right?”

“How romantic! A public proposal, no less!”

“Must be bad parenting. I can’t believe my kid turned out like this.”

…Is there an insurance policy I can get for situations like this?