Chapter 40: The Gullible Heroine and the Yes-Man

A shrill alarm blared through the room.

Morning had come, but there was no way I could get up with how severely sleep-deprived I was. Why, you ask? Well, that’s because—

“Hey, how long are you planning to sleep? A curse-breaker’s day starts early, you know?”

It’s all her fault. Last night, I was forced to shower Shiro with compliments until she fell asleep. It must’ve lasted about two hours or so. Honestly, it’s a miracle I managed to keep going with my pitiful vocabulary. Toward the end, I’m pretty sure I was just spouting random nonsense.

“Then maybe you should’ve gone to bed early too.”

Late nights and early mornings? That’s the worst combination. People in Japan seriously underestimate the importance of sleep—it’s been like that forever. Think young people can survive on little sleep? Idiots. It’ll come back to bite them, mark my words. So yeah, tremble in fear until that day comes. Oh wait, you won’t get enough sleep for that.

“Huh? You get woken up by a girl, and the first thing out of your mouth is a snide remark? What kind of upbringing did you have? Even kindergarteners know how to say hello.”

“…Good morning, Shiro-chan.”

The reason for my sleepless misery was now lecturing me, which was incredibly aggravating, but I knew fighting back wouldn’t help. So, I went with the mature response. Some people might argue that high schoolers are already adults, but let me stay a kid a little longer, okay? Ironically, dealing with a yandere and a mental wreck is forcing me to grow up every day.

“Honestly. Kids can’t choose their parents, so you need to get it together, you know? I don’t ever want my child to tell me, ‘I failed the parent lottery.’ Not even my steel mental fortitude could handle that.”

Steel mental fortitude? You? Yeah, right. I’ll let that one slide for now. But why are we even having this conversation? If my comprehension skills are working, it sounds like you’re implying we’ll get married and have kids someday. Be careful with your words.

“Haha, the whole ‘parent lottery’ thing is just a passing trend, a meme from the internet.”

“Your thinking is too naive. The phrasing might change, but phrases with the same meaning will always come into vogue. It’s like how terms like ‘prostitute’ or ‘beggar’ evolved into ‘sugar baby.’”

You might have a point there, but can you not? Do you realize how insane you sound? For the record, there’s zero chance we’re getting married. In this smartphone era, you never know when someone’s recording.

“Don’t worry, Shiro would definitely be a great mom. No kid of yours would ever say they failed the parent lottery.”

“I’m talking about you! What would you do if we had a daughter? No matter how much love you show her, she’d start keeping her distance once she hits middle school. Even great dads go through that. If you’re a lousy one, it’s even worse.”

Could we not have this conversation? The idea of my own daughter hating me would make life feel pointless. Please don’t make me imagine that.

Also, why do you look so smug? Did you win something in this exchange?

“Come on, get up and get dressed already. You’re going to miss out on training time.”

Training with her feels utterly pointless. Besides, it’s Sunday. School starts again tomorrow, and I just want to rest.

Seriously though…

“How long is this training supposed to last? You still can’t break curses? And, honestly, does me training even make sense? Curse-breaking is your job, isn’t it?”

Throwing out multiple questions at once is bad manners, I know, but my chances to ask are limited, so cut me some slack.

“Why are you asking that? Do you hate training with me? Are you one of those husbands who’ll dump all the housework on their wives? Let me tell you now, I plan to make you do chores on at least one of the weekend days. I mean, come on, if you don’t handle the housework once in a while, I’ll never get a day off. Sure, my mom and sisters will probably help with the kids, but that doesn’t mean you can slack off. Honestly, I’d prefer to spend our newlywed life just the two of us in a new home…”

Not a single coherent answer to my question. I wasn’t even trying to talk about gender roles. It’s probably an important topic, sure, but I’m not in the mood for a debate first thing in the morning. Besides, isn’t she starting to show more yandere tendencies lately? It’s giving me a bad feeling.

“Wait, I didn’t mean it like that…”

“Men are always the same. They only see women as servants to satisfy their lust. How can you treat women like mere maids? We weren’t born just to be exploited by men!”

She’s starting to sound like one of those bitter social media users. What do I even do here?

“Why are you assuming we’re getting married in the first place—”

“Don’t change the subject! Men always do that when things get inconvenient. Pretend they don’t understand and run away.”

What could she possibly know about men? She doesn’t even have proper female friends. And besides, in your family, aren’t the women the ones in charge? Why do you even think you can denounce male dominance when you’re not the oppressed one here?

“In the end, the only ones who understand women are other women. Fine, I’ll talk to your mom and sister. I’ll tell them about all the emotional and logical harassment you’ve been subjecting me to.”

I haven’t harassed you—emotionally or logically. If anything, I’m the victim here.

I need to stop her before this gets out of hand. If she convinces even my family, I’ll be surrounded by yandere and mental wrecks.

“Shiro! Let’s hurry up and go train!”

“Hmph. You think training is meaningless anyway.”

She’s not wrong. This whole thing feels more like an excuse for her to cling to me. I have a terrible feeling this training will just drag on endlessly with no clear timeline. But I can’t say that now. With a single tap, she could call my parents, and I’m not ready for that.

“I don’t know much about curse-breaking, so I can’t tell if the training is working yet.”

“See? See? See see see see seeee! See?”

Calm down! She’s acting like she’s spamming an attack move in some video game.

“But! I don’t believe Shiro would waste her time on anything meaningless. If I just keep at it, I’m sure I’ll learn to break curses! I trust you completely, Shiro. That’s why I can keep going.”

Yeah, no. Deep down, I’m convinced this isn’t working. Worse, dealing with her seems to be accelerating her yandere tendencies. My notifications keep piling up, thanks to her.

“Hmph. But breaking curses is my job, isn’t it? You’re just planning to dump everything on me because you think working a job makes you more important, right? Let me tell you, there’s no ranking between jobs and housework. In fact, housewives’ work is estimated to be worth a salary of ten million yen annually. That makes women superior, really.”

Wait, why does it feel like we’re already married in this conversation? I’m not even employed, and that whole ten-million-yen thing isn’t something you should take seriously.

“You’re right, it’s a partnership. Let’s work together, okay? Please, Shiro, let’s train together. I just want to spend more time with you. Let’s go, okay? Okay? So, um… could you put the phone down?”

“Hmm, a partnership, you say? A partnership… hehehe, a partnership.”

Oh, this might actually work. Just one more push and I think I’ve got her. Yanderes and mental wrecks may be terrifying, but they’re surprisingly easy to manipulate.

“I was thinking we’d go buy some training supplies…”

“Let’s go! I’ll carry everything for you!”

“I want to take a morning shower first…”

“Let’s shower! I’ll join you!”

“First, we need breakfast.”

“Let’s eat! Let’s feed each other!”

“Oh, I feel a bit chilled from the air conditioning…”

“Hug time! There, there, there!”

“Ehehe… ehehe…”

Wow. She’s ridiculously easy to satisfy. Just saying “yes” to everything makes her this happy.

…Wait. Something feels off here.

But whatever. She looks so content, so maybe it doesn’t matter.