Chapter 38: Mother and Grandmother Approve; Father and Grandfather Tolerate

Since the decision for me to stay overnight was made, no training sessions had taken place, and now it was dinner time.

I was about to meet Shiro’s family. To put it simply, they were normal. If I had to point something out, Shiro’s mother was surprisingly beautiful—unlike my own mom.

Her father and grandfather, however, were glaring daggers at me. They probably saw me as some dangerous guy trying to make a move on their precious daughter and granddaughter.

That said, after being scolded by Shiro’s mother and grandmother, they had grown unusually quiet. Women really are strong, no matter the household.

“Um, Tako… I mean, Kogorou-kun, right?”

“Yes, it’s Kogorou. Not Tako or Ika, just Kogorou.”

Shiro’s dad was glaring at me like he wanted to say, ‘So, you’re my daughter’s boyfriend? Honey, go fetch the shotgun from the shelf.’

“Listen, young man. Kids these days may think they’re all grown up, but romance is something for adults. In any case, someone like you—a mere nobody, no better than a stray dog—shouldn’t even dream of—ow ow ow ow!”

“Dear? Shall we have a little chat?”

Her father had been showering me with all sorts of insults, but now he was at the mercy of his wife’s iron claw.

“Dear, I’m not young anymore, so I can’t have any more children.”

“Is that so? Well, I think you’re still as youthful as ever…”

The way he was begging for mercy felt oddly relatable. Maybe this is just how men react when women corner them.

“If I can’t have children, then you don’t need the ability to make them either, right?”

Uh, did she just say something straight out of a horror movie? Is this what Kaede and the others might turn into if their curses worsen?

“W-wait! I still want to be a man!”

“Oh? A man who can’t celebrate his daughter’s growth dares to call himself one? That’s not manly speech, it’s just deception. Men who lack dignity should simply stop being men.”

Shiro, your mom is terrifying. Make sure you don’t turn out like her. This doesn’t concern me, but your future husband is going to have a hard time.

“Well then, I’ll go ‘make him a man.’ Or, who knows? Maybe I’ll turn him into a woman. Either way, don’t mind us—just enjoy yourselves, you two.”

“Y-yes…”

It was unnerving how that didn’t sound like a joke. What if we suddenly heard screams coming from the back room?

Her dad was pleading for his life at lightning speed, but Shiro completely ignored him and intertwined her arm with mine. Hey, help him out! Your dad might actually become your second mom at this rate! Double moms! Double mom alert!

“Are you sure you don’t need to help him?”

“It’s fine. Mom doesn’t do sports or anything.”

…Huh? What does that even mean?

“On the other hand, like I said earlier, my dad’s a sportsman. So, it’s fine.”

…What?

Listen, even a muscle-bound sportsman can’t handle the impossible, you know? But hey, it’s not my body on the line, so whatever. Especially since he called me “Tako.”

“Oh, by the way…”

“Y-yes!”

Shiro’s mom, who I thought had already left the room, peeked back in. I couldn’t see it, but I was sure she was gripping her husband by the scruff of his neck behind the door.

“The bath is ready, so… have fun, you two.”

…We’ve already bathed together once, though. I’m not sure if that counts as “fun” or not.

To think that I’d get her mother’s approval this fast—after we’d just met. Between my mom and her, are all moms like this?

“No! Absolutely not! I won’t allow it! How dare some spineless loser like—gah!?”

“And who’s the spineless one here, hmm?”

“Ack! Ow ow ow! I give, I give, I give!”

What the hell is going on beyond that door? Horror might actually be scarier when you can’t see it.

“If you’re a man, don’t scream.”

That voice just now—it was dangerously deep and commanding. Was that… Shiro’s mom? Can she really sound like that with that face?

Oh, her father’s screams stopped. Must’ve been absolutely terrifying. Is he still in pain right now?

“Ahaha, sorry about my pathetic dad.”

“…Don’t worry about it, Shiro.”

Even her grandfather didn’t escape the same fate, though he left after a similar exchange with Shiro’s grandmother. Given his age, I’d say this is pushing things a bit too far…

“Whaaaaat?!”

Ah, too loud, too loud! Keep it down, or your parents will come back!

“Mixed bathing is definitely out of the question.”

“Why?! It’s way too late for that now!”

Maybe so, but that’s not the point. Just because someone has broken a bone before doesn’t mean they’re okay with hairline fractures now, right?

“I’ll wrap a towel, so it’s fine, isn’t it?”

That’s not the issue! We’ve just met, you know? Even staying over is already too much!

Besides, would you really keep that towel on the whole time? No way. You’d gradually lose control and take it off, wouldn’t you? You’d probably even start licking me or something. Or worse—go further and…

“Kogorou, I’m actually pretty smart, you know?”

“Well… you do seem serious.”

I didn’t want to outright acknowledge her claim, so I sidestepped it a bit.

I meant to subtly call her stupid, but she just looked proud. Yep, she’s an idiot.

“I can memorize an 11-digit number in no time.”

“Hmm… well, that’s impressive, I guess.”

Kind of a strange number to bring up, though. It’s not that hard if you take your time.

“Most of them start with 080 or 090, so they’re easy to remember.”

…Wait, those numbers sound awfully familiar.

No way. Don’t tell me…

“Alright, I’m going to make a call. Feel free to use the bath first if you want. I’m planning on a long one, so take your time. Now, let’s see… time for some mental rehearsal. Imagine being forced to spread your legs through violence, then being forcibly entered while still dry. Maybe even add a video call for authenticity. Oh, and make sure to beat my face to a pulp for credibility…”

“Sh-Shiro!”

“Hm? What is it? I’m in the middle of being punched by the imaginary you in my head, so don’t interrupt. See? Look, you’re right here.”

I can’t see it. All I see is Shiro lying on her back.

“Let’s bathe together! If towels are okay, then surely it’s not that big of a deal…”

“But towels in the bath mean more laundry, don’t they? And they get in the way when washing your body. Plus, the sense of security from bathing at home disappears. You know, like how a towel becomes a wall between hearts—a distance.”

“Forget the towel, then! Let’s bare it all and bond completely!”