Chapter 32: Between a Yandere and a Menhera

“Are you sure you can go by yourself? Want me to hold your hand…?”

“I’ll be fine, seriously.”

Honestly, this is exhausting. Every time I go to the bathroom, it’s the same routine.

Even if the curse has weakened, the class rep’s maternal instincts are impossible to suppress. She’s probably restraining herself already, so I can’t say much.

“Class Rep, it’s about time you learned to let go of your ‘child.'”

“You’ll understand one day, Kumano-san. A woman changes when she becomes a mother.”

“Oh… I see…”

An utterly nonsensical conversation is happening behind me, but I ignore it and head to the bathroom.

If I keep playing along, break time will be over before I know it.

“Sakamoto.”

The fact that she’s stopped bringing diapers to school is progress.

She still brings them on weekends, “just in case,” but at least she doesn’t force me to wear them anymore. Honestly, I’d rather she didn’t bring them at all.

“Sakamoto Kogoro.”

If the curse intensifies, will I be forced to wear diapers again?

I’d rather not think about it, but it might not stop there. She could outright ban me from using the bathroom, forcing me to use the diapers.

That’s one thing I absolutely have to prevent.

“Hey! Are you even listening!?”

What a pain. I was ignoring her because it sounded annoying.

Who is she, anyway? Did I forget to ask her name?

“What do you want? I’m trying to go to the bathroom.”

“Going to change your diaper?”

“I’m not wearing one!”

This is getting ridiculous.

Who the hell is this girl…?

“Wait, you’re the one who harassed me in the hallway the other day, right?”

If my memory serves, she’s the girl who stopped me when I was on my way to see Kurokawa-senpai.

She seems to know about the curse, so she might be important, but she’s such a hassle. I don’t remember much of what we talked about, just that it was annoying.

“You should at least remember the names of your classmates! It’s Hijiri Mashiro!”

Remembering the names of classmates? Who keeps track of kids in other classes?

Maybe if this were a tiny countryside school with just two classes, but there are six here.

“So, what does Shirou-chan want from me?”

“…Who gave you permission to call me by my first name?”

“Cold, huh? I don’t deal with people like that. See ya.”

There’s no way I’m letting some random girl make me miss my bathroom break.

She might be a lead to breaking the curse, but there’s also the risk she’ll make things worse. I don’t even know if she’s an ally or an enemy.

“Come out within one minute.”

Is she serious? She’s really going to wait in front of the boys’ bathroom? Doesn’t she care about appearances?

I didn’t want to risk her coming in, so I got it done quickly without making a mess.

“You’re so slow. Guys should be done in a second.”

So annoying. I’m the type who takes my time to make sure nothing drips. At home, I even use toilet paper for extra precaution. That’s the kind of guy I am.

“What do you even know about guys?”

“Hah? I know a lot more than you think. I know men better than men do.”

Liar. She’s definitely one of those people who thinks she understands men because of anime or dramas.

“I don’t want to deal with a fake like you.”

She’s annoying, but I can’t leave Kaede and the others waiting too long.

Especially not the class rep—she might freak out and put out a “missing child” alert.

“Why are you so cold to me? You’re such a player with all your harem girls.”

“Relax, I’m joking. Let’s get along, Shirou-chan.”

I wanted to act cold to see her true colors, but I had to change plans.

Making her cry would be bad. I’m already seen as trouble; losing any more credibility would be a disaster.

“I’ll forgive you just this once. But if you’re cold to me again… I’ll do that… that thing!“

What thing, exactly?

Break time is only ten minutes, so could we get to the point already?

“Fine, I’ll play nice. So, what do you want?”

“This is your fault! You waste time talking nonsense and take forever at the urinal…”

That’s what’s wasting time! There’s less than five minutes left. By the time I factor in the walk back to the classroom, it’s more like four. Also, I don’t want to keep talking in front of the bathroom.

“For the record, don’t call it a urinal ever again.”

Technically, it’s not wrong, but people would definitely misunderstand.

What if someone overheard? They’d think, “Oh, so this guy wears diapers and pees standing up? Gross.”

“Why are you being so harsh? Did I do something wrong?”

This is such a hassle. Why does she look like she’s about to burst into tears at any moment?

First a yandere, now a menhera? She looks so chill, but apparently not.

“Didn’t you say you’d be nice? Was that a lie? You’re way too used to lying to women.”

That’s a ridiculous accusation. Sure, I sometimes say random stuff to get by, but I don’t recall lying.

Anyway, I couldn’t lie to those girls even if I tried. They probably know more about my actions than I do.

“I was a bit harsh. Sorry.”

I’m totally not at fault here, but I still bow my head.

Fighting with a menhera—no, a woman—never leads to anything good.

“Are you really sorry?”
“Yeah, I won’t say anything harsh again.”

I haven’t said anything harsh even once.

Sigh… It’s such a crappy trend, acting like words depend on the listener’s interpretation.

All it does is fuel paranoia, letting the menhera hold all the power. Whoever started that idea can go to hell.

“Promise me? You won’t ever say mean things again?”

She’s so persistent.

How much time is left? Maybe two minutes? I still have zero clue why she’s here.

“Alright, I promise.”
“I’ll believe you.”

Glad she trusts me, but what’s up with her pinky?

Is she seriously doing a pinky swear at our age? Even elementary school kids barely do that anymore.

“Why won’t you link pinkies with me? So you really are going to keep being mean…?”
“…Like this?”

I saw the menhera move coming, so I reluctantly intertwined our pinkies.

Ugh, embarrassing. Other students are totally staring.

They’re not looking at us like we’re adorable—more like they’re suspicious or mocking.

“If you lie, I’ll make you swallow a thousand needles and then really make you pay.”

She just keeps piling it on. Even if I were her mortal enemy, that’s overkill.

I’m pretty sure the curse doesn’t affect this girl, which makes her even scarier.

Is there nothing in this world but trouble?

“That’s scary.”
“Scary? That’s my line.“

No, it’s my line. Stop taking everything for yourself. What are you, an Osaka auntie?

Damn it, we’re not getting anywhere. Even an anime caught up to the source wouldn’t drag this out so much.

“Having a guy with ulterior motives threaten me? That’s just terrifying.”

Where does she see any ulterior motive? I’m not intimidating her.

Sure, I think she’s cute, but I’m not scheming anything.

Ulterior motives come after deciding, “She’s cute, so maybe I’ll try to get closer.” That’s when it becomes an actual ulterior motive, right?

“I guess it’s too much to ask someone building a fake harem under a curse to understand a woman’s heart, but listen up.”
“…Alright.”

I’m probably going to regret listening. Definitely.

“No matter how hard you flirt the first time you meet, a girl won’t fall for you. Not unless you’re insanely handsome, anyway.”

See? A total waste. Listening or talking to her is equally pointless. It’s like dealing with a shady peddler.

“And you’re not even handsome.”

That’s really harsh! She tells me not to be mean, then hurts me with a completely unnecessary comment?

…Flirted on our first meeting? She means when we met before?

What the hell did I even say back then? I don’t remember an actual conversation.

“Oh? It’s already time, huh.”

And whose fault is that?

She never even told me why she came, forced me into a pointless promise, and lectured me for no reason. What was that about?

At least I learned her name.

…What was it again? Mashiro, right?

“Okay, next ten-minute break, meet me in front of the bathroom again. Don’t forget.”

What’s with that girl? She set a time and place, then ran off on her own.

She’s this difficult to talk to even without a curse? My potential key to breaking the curse turns out to be a total nightmare. I’m such an unlucky guy.

“You’re late, so I came to check on you, and this is what I find?”
“Ah…”
“You left your childhood friend waiting in the classroom to sneak around with that cute girl? So that little meeting four years ago really was a date. I can’t believe I got betrayed twice. They say once a traitor, always a traitor, right? So when’s the next time you’ll betray me? Who’s going to be your next victim?”

I truly am the unluckiest guy in the world.