Chapter 2: Kogoro, The Stranded Chapter

My first-ever love letter turned out to be a one-way ticket to hell.

No, perhaps it was a permanent residency in hell.

Sure, becoming someone’s partner means joining their family, but still…

“I don’t want to manipulate your heart, so for now, I’ll cast a curse that makes every woman outside of our family loathe you like the plague. That’s fine, right? It would only be a nuisance if other females started swarming around you.”

What the hell is “plague”? I don’t know the word, but it doesn’t sound like anything good.

And “females”? Seriously?

“A c-curse… That’s just a rumor, right?”

“Tell me, is there any man you dislike?”

“Uh… well, I guess the vice principal?”

The question was so sudden that I pulled a name at random from my “most disliked people” list without thinking.

Sorry, Vice Principal. You’re probably going to die.

“I’ll put the same curse on him as I did on that idiot from the baseball club. Men are nothing but beasts, after all.”

Beasts? I don’t understand the context, but I can tell the vice principal is in danger.

No, wait a minute. There’s no such thing as curses.

Should I just wait and see? Even if curses were real, the vice principal would just suffer a bit of misfortune as a man.

He’s already bald, and given his age, it’s probably been years since he could “rise to the occasion.” Any further misfortune would just be splitting hairs.

“Well then, let’s go to my house. Don’t worry, I’ll let you keep attending school until you graduate.”

Her house, on the very first day? Isn’t this a bit too fast?

Wait, hold on—what did she just say? Until I graduate?

That sounded like I wouldn’t be allowed to go out much after graduation.

“I used to commute by car, but from now on, I’ll walk to school.”

“Uh… okay?”

“Walking to school while holding hands… Ah, just imagining it makes me embarrassed.”

Wait. Does she mean she’ll be walking to school with me?

I don’t even know where the Kurokawa family house is, but is it close to mine? I don’t remember seeing any large houses nearby.

“For now, I’ll repeat a year so I can be in the same class as you next year.”

You’re saying that like it’s nothing! Can you even repeat a grade so casually? And even if you did, there’s no guarantee we’d end up in the same class…

No, knowing her, she’d make it happen.

Repeating a year isn’t an empty threat. I’ve only just met her, but I know this for a fact.

“Next, we’ll need a ring, right? My family doesn’t follow that tradition, but I’ll go along with societal norms. I’ll also need to move your belongings into my house. Ah, I’m so busy.”

This is bad. Things are moving forward at an insane pace. I’m standing right here, yet the conversation is progressing as if I’m not even involved.

“U-uh, could I have some time to think this over…?”

“Think? About what? How you’re going to propose?”

Hold on, seriously?

I did say I was happy, but I never said I’d date her! I didn’t say that, right?

“Well, uh, I’m really happy about your confession, but as for actually dating…”

“…”

“Um, well… it’s truly an honor, and I’m really flattered. I’m thrilled, really, but…”

“…”

She’s terrifying when she’s silent.

She’s scary when she talks, but silence is a whole other level of terrifying.

“Things like marriage or formal introductions feel a bit too early, you know? Maybe we could start as friends first…”

“Are you trying to dodge this?”

Gah! She got me.

She’s right; I’m hoping for a natural fade-out.

There’s no way this girl is normal. If I dated her, I’d probably wake up one day locked in a back room of her house.

“I’m deeply hurt. Lifting me up only to drop me… You’re cruel. Absolutely cruel.”

“I didn’t mean to hurt you… Maybe we could start as acquaintances, at least?”

I subtly downgraded our relationship rank.

Someone willing to repeat a year for this isn’t someone I want to keep close. Ideally, I’d like us to stay strangers forever.

“I understand your point. I won’t approach you anymore.”

Wait, she’s giving up? Just like that?

She said it as though I’d be the one to approach her in the future, but for now…

“Do you want to be popular?”

“Huh? Well… I think everyone wants to be popular, to some extent.”

“I see…”

What was that about?

She left me hanging there, confused and bewildered, as she walked away.

I feel like I just made a huge mistake.

No, there’s no way this is a coincidence!

It’s obviously because of yesterday’s interaction!

“Kogoro? Are you done changing yet?”

“J-just a little longer!”

Calm down. I need to get to school first. I need to confront her.

“You’re so slow. Want me to help you from tomorrow?”

“Hah, I’ll just go wash my face, so let me through.”

For now, I’ll deflect everything related to this topic. It feels dangerous to either confirm or deny anything.

“It’s such a relief that Kaede-chan comes over. That boy takes forever to wake up.”

“Oh no, it’s no problem! I can come wake him up every morning if you’d like.”

“My, that would be so helpful.”

The conversation in the living room makes me want to cover my ears.

Isn’t this just an attempt to close off all my escape routes?

“Here, coffee.”

“…”

Can I even drink this?

…Mom’s here, so it should be fine, right? There’s nothing weird in it… right?

“What’s wrong? Oh, I see—you’re bad with hot drinks, aren’t you?”

No, I’m not particularly bad with hot drinks, but… wait!

“K-Kaede? What are you doing?”

“What? I’m cooling it down for you.”

“Ara ara ara.”

Who asked you to blow on my coffee?!

And Mom, stop that reaction! Quit making that face like you’re thinking, “Ah, youth is so wonderful. Hotter than coffee itself.”

“Come on, you’ll be late!”

Stop it. I didn’t ask for this. Don’t butter my toast for me.

I do prefer my toast buttered, but no one just does that. Especially not for a childhood friend.

Also, don’t touch the food I’m going to eat with your bare hands! I’m not even a germaphobe, but still, it’s weird.

“Here, say ahh~.”

Please stop. Mom’s watching us with this warm, approving look in her eyes.

But refusing would be scary. I never thought there’d come a day when I’d be afraid of Kaede.

Damn, this isn’t even just embarrassing—it’s downright awkward. Why am I doing this in front of my mom?

“Wow, you actually ate it!”

“Ara ara ara.”

If the option to refuse existed, I would’ve chosen it in a heartbeat.

Trying to get this over with as quickly as possible, I bit into the toast. Damn it. What a day.

“Oh no, you’ve got crumbs on your mouth.”

“Ugh…”

Well, of course I do, since you fed me by hand. Just let me wipe my mouth myself!

This is somewhere between overbearing couple and elderly care. It’s a fine, dangerous line.

“Alright, let’s go!”

“…Yeah.”

She naturally took my hand, but I won’t say anything anymore.

At least it’s not that kind of hand-holding. Let’s just be thankful for that.

“We’re off, Okaa-san!”

The nuance—the nuance is all wrong.

It’s like I can see the kanji when she speaks. That’s how heavy it felt.

“Ehehe.”

We’re just walking to school, but she looks oddly happy.

What’s going on? She was so cold just yesterday.

“I’m sorry for everything until now.”

“Huh? For what?”

Is she apologizing for being distant?

I wasn’t really bothered. If anything, it’s normal for childhood friends to act like that sometimes.

“You were lonely, right? Not being able to walk to school with me. It must have been hard for you. Your heart must have been on the verge of breaking, right?”

I… wasn’t really lonely. But denying it seems like a bad idea. At the same time, agreeing feels just as dangerous.

Am I stuck here?

“What about you? What did you feel, Kaede?”

Deflect! I’ll keep my opinions to myself. That’s the safest option.

“Me? Isn’t it obvious? I still remember that day, you know? I went to pick you up at your house, and you’d already left. It was so painful. I kept wondering why you left without me. I told myself you must have had morning duties and needed to go early. But you know what? You didn’t have morning duties. And even if you did, you’re not the type to leave early for something like that. So why did you leave? You’re not even in any clubs. It had to be a secret meeting. There’s no other explanation. Who was the girl? Who was it? That question has eaten away at me for four whole years, Kogoro! Four years of this weight, growing heavier and heavier—at least 10 kilos worth of frustration. And you called me heavy, didn’t you? Whose fault is that? Who made me carry this weight?! That’s right, it’s the weight of my doubts…”

Her grip on my hand is getting stronger. Since when did she have this much strength?

(I couldn’t catch all of that, but it sounded like a curse. A long, rambling curse.)

Kaede, usually so slow and calm, was suddenly speaking so quickly and fluently. That alone was terrifying.

She said something about four years ago, didn’t she?

I don’t remember. Something about a secret meeting? I didn’t have anyone like that!

“I’ve reflected on my own immaturity, too. A mature woman would overlook a man’s little indiscretions. A real woman needs to show some composure, right? You know the saying—‘A man is a ship, and a woman is the harbor.’ But don’t get me wrong—that’s our phrase. It’s not something that justifies cheating. But I wasn’t a harbor. I shut down, locked myself away. I was immature. Oh, and no, I’m not talking about my chest. I mean, I’m reasonably endowed, aren’t I? Your hand fits perfectly, doesn’t it? Anyway, the point is, I’m reopening my harbor. Kogoro, the good ship Kogoro-maru, has been waiting, adrift, for this day. And today, my harbor—Kaede Harbor—is ready to accept you back. The pure, honest ship has finally come home. Now it’s my turn to fulfill my duty. Come, let me dock your ship in my—”

Still going. This prayer—or curse—has entered its second verse.

What the hell is Kogoro-maru? Am I a rugby player now?

This is a death chant. A spell that drags people to the underworld. If I let her finish, I might actually die.

“Kaede!”

“Dock in my harbor with a hot dog—huh? What is it?”

“Let’s… let’s walk to school together every day from now on!”

“Okay!”

There. That should do it.