Reincarnated as a Dungeon Master, I Became Unstoppable by Doting on My Monsters—My Gorgeous Monsters Have Started to Conquer the World on Their Own! - Chapter 42: The Shape of the Mind (Biondetta's PoV)
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- Reincarnated as a Dungeon Master, I Became Unstoppable by Doting on My Monsters—My Gorgeous Monsters Have Started to Conquer the World on Their Own!
- Chapter 42: The Shape of the Mind (Biondetta's PoV)
As I listened to the dull screams of the man whose arm had been cut by the shears and whose blood had suddenly risen behind him, I was reorganizing my schedule, which Grimrich’s appearance had thrown off.
(…The next time I’ll be able to see Master Yuuto will be twenty-three hours without any trouble. I’ll be able to shrink it.
I stomped on the Grimrich before me, sorting out the planning process in my head without needing to.
…He was the type to materialize when attacking. As a Speed S player, I can supplement him immediately after the second time.
In that case, it would be a waste of time to devote our thought resources to battle. Defeating this will take at least a minute, so let’s train to think about Master Yuuto.
Training to remember the particularly cool moments of Yuuto-sama, who was always so cool. I wonder if Margarita called it the Love Endurance Training.
…The human form is superior to the monster form I’ve seen so far in terms of being loved by Yuuto-sama.
However, when it came to physical cues in the context of romantic interest, there was too much of a difference between monsters, who typically engage in sexual activity solely for reproduction, and humans, who might also encounter for communication and pleasure.
…When I was a monster, I had been thinking about Master Yuuto for almost the entire time, but the feelings, desires, and love I harbored for Master Yuuto were too deep.
When I think about Master Yuuto like I used to when I was a monster, the body of a member of the Hominid family mercilessly pays attention to me repeatedly. At the same time, I felt the boiling heat from my lower abdomen.
Well, it can’t be helped since Yuuto-sama has a transcendent male charm, but it would be inefficient to reach climax just by remembering it, and it would expose her uncouth appearance when speaking to her directly.
That’s why I needed to train myself to remember when my heart skipped a beat with Master Yuuto and control my thoughts to recognize him as something other than a member of the opposite sex.
When I see him as a man when he needs it.
That said, I decided to recall my memories of my favorite wight, which I’d always remembered when I was a monster.
While severing the fingers of the B-Rank monster in front of me with his heels.
◇◇◇
(Indistinct. Vague, vague imitation glue. What am I supposed to do with the whole thing?)
That was back when I was F-rank and starting to develop a certain degree of individuality.
Since I was a fly monster as big as a human head called Big Fly, I racked my brain as I reread my own “monster settings” repeatedly.
“I know what I want to do on my own. I can think properly that I don’t want to do what I don’t want. I can decide what I want to do on my own. It’s fine to change what I hate based on my mood.”
“And the person you love. Even if that person is a monster, even if they’re human. No matter what form love takes, no matter who… I’m sure you’ll be able to find them without interfering with your design or setting.”
That is the very future that the kindhearted Yuuto-sama carved into our setting. It is precisely because of these words that we can enjoy our freedom despite being born into a position equivalent to a slave known as a Dungeon Monster.
However, I was a natural perfectionist. I understood that while this text was Master Yuuto’s love, it also had the aspect of a mission assigned to me by Master Yuuto.
Isn’t that right? If you don’t wish it to be that way, there’s no need to write it.
In that case, I didn’t want to do anything that would disobey the leader of the pack’s orders, so I decided to live according to the text written by that wight.
(But what do I want to do? What do I not want to do? What do I like? What do I hate?)
However, I didn’t understand any of the subtleties involved in those likes and dislikes, even about myself.
I follow the orders of the leader of the pack. Other than that, I’m spacing out. I don’t understand how to live other than that.
The other kids were already interested in fighting and studying, but I didn’t know how much it was worth, so I stayed on standby until orders came in.
I heard it from Jacqueline later, but it’s easy for the bug people to develop a personality that faithfully follows orders to begin with.
I’m just another example of that. Even if Master wasn’t Master Yuuto, I’m sure he was the type to simply obey.
I’m lucky to feel the magic flowing from my contract with Master Yuuto daily and rejoice.
If he’d been summoned to another Master’s side, he probably would’ve still followed orders without any joy, like a machine.
Such a foolish me was rushing to his side not because I liked him but because he was the Dungeon Master, even when it came to Master Yuuto’s orders.
If Yuuto-sama lost, the herd would be over, so it was only natural like that.
…If there’s someone right in front of me who’s following Master Yuuto with that kind of heart, I’ll strangle him to death.
At any rate, I was brainless at the time, and while I was by the side of the most precious person in the world, I simply obeyed and didn’t feel the gratitude and wonder of it.
But even in the past, there was one good thing about me.
(That’s right. No matter how much I think about it, I can’t tell, so let’s ask Master Yuuto.)
With that thought in mind, I visited the Core Room, where the other monsters frequented.
…Good job. Back then, I was…
By that time, the other children had already been vulgarly visiting the Core Room many times in an attempt to receive pleasant love from Yuuto-sama, but this was the first time I had seen of my own free will.
And that one time, my entire world will be repainted in the color of Yuuto-sama.
(…Kuh! No!)
…That was close. Master Yuuto will appear in my memories from now on, so I need to stay conscious.
-When I visited, Master Yuuto seemed to be thinking about something in his room, but when he saw me, he smiled happily… I took the form of a fly, one of the symbols of filth.
Remembering these smiles filled not only my lust but also my love for him and warmed my heart.
“What’s wrong? It’s rare for Biondetta to come to the Core Room.”
With that, Master Yuuto stood up from his bed and approached me.
At the time, I didn’t have the skills to talk to Master Yuuto, so I flew around desperately trying to tell him what I needed to do, and it wasn’t until about four hours later that I was able to convey my intentions.
All the while, Master Yuuto was able to gaze at me with a deep affection that even I could only catch a glimpse of that part of him, and he guessed my intentions over and over again with his clever mind and keen eye. The reason it took me four hours was because I was so lacking in expressiveness.
“Alrightyyyyyyyyyyy! I finally get it! You don’t know what you like or hate, do you? Alright! Then let me teach you how to think, Mr. Yuuto, who specializes in problems like that.”
We finally understood each other’s feelings, so we rejoiced, and I nodded repeatedly at Master Yuuto’s words as he made his final confirmation.
I also remember how Master Yuuto seemed to be enjoying the content of the question. Perhaps it was because it was Master Yuuto’s favorite field, or maybe he was pleased with my growth.
And what Master Yuuto told me afterward was enough to overturn my thoughts.
…I kept what I heard then a secret from the other shrine maidens. Egrentine and Rosarosa might have heard something close regarding the private lessons, but I had no intention of telling the other girls.
After all, all my time with Master Yuuto is my treasure and my very worth.
Master Yuuto cleared his throat cutely and began to speak.
“First of all, when you don’t know if you’re picky or not, you should know whether you’re around or not.”
That’s where the story began.
“I think the answer is me. After all, I have some likes and dislikes when I’m intelligent enough to worry about something like that. Which means the answer is on the inside. I know a few things that Biondetta likes. Like how she loves cleanliness, so she’ll wash her hands if she goes out into the forest, or how she wants to make things black and white, just like this case…”
It was true that even I had the bare minimum of preferences. Ever since then, I’ve been a clean freak, liked new things, and liked efficient behavior.
After that, Master Yuuto made a whiteboard out of the Core.
“In that case, there might already be someone you like, even though you haven’t noticed Biondetta. To discover that, you need to know the shape of Biondetta’s heart.”
With that, he wrote a regular hexahedron on the whiteboard. …Yuuto-sama is worried about not being able to fall in love, so she must have been able to investigate a lot of things related to these kinds of hearts.
“But no matter how long you think about the shape of your heart, you’ll never know, right? When that happens, you look at other people. Biondetta’s heart isn’t in Biondetta at all. It’s in the ‘people watching’ Biondetta.”
I’ve been collecting sounds from all over the country for over a month now that I’ve been a Nadine, but not a single one of them is saying anything more thoughtful than Yuuto-sama.
Of course. I’m sure Master Yuuto’s thoughts are more advanced than any of Etina’s. I need to catch up to his thoughts on my own and make sure he doesn’t feel lonely.
(Ah. This is bad…… kuuuu…………… fuu. I can’t cum, can I? I’ve got a convenient delusion.)
…For a moment, I thought of a world line where I was the only one who could properly understand Master Yuuto’s thoughts, and I fantasized about being needed in that state for a long time.
We’re still in a battle, and men are all around us. If I had to twist my body in pleasure, even if it meant twitching in that state, I would have had to seriously kill these men when I saw them and burn my body for the sin of being defiled with my gaze, which is Master Yuuto’s.
…Though remembering Master Yuuto’s words is far more meaningful than my delusions.
The lecture on the shape of Master Yuuto’s mind continued a little longer.
“Humans may be defective like me, but their hearts are basically polyhedrons. When experimenting with children who have parents, even if they think they’re equal to their parents, their expressions and tone of voice subconsciously change.”
Master Yuuto didn’t seem to mind, declaring himself a defective product. I didn’t really understand what he meant at the time, but…his dice were hard to find in the eyes of love.
“So, Biondetta, you don’t have to like me as a member of the opposite sex. Even if the other person isn’t picky, you might be picky about yourself when you’re with them, right?”
When he said that, I thought about it. And then, I realized a clear difference in my behavioral patterns toward others.
I was obedient to what Master Yuuto said.
…It seemed obvious initially, but that wasn’t the case. After all, it was only then that I remembered that Master Yuuto hadn’t forced me to submit to him.
Besides, it was the same when he was attacked by cow monsters for the first time. I was still G-Rank and barely conscious, but I was heading to the Dungeon to reestablish my expired contract, and I was reunited with him. At the time, my heart didn’t calculate efficiency or anything.
When I realized that I hadn’t fallen in love with Yuuto-sama yet, I could also tell that refusing to follow her orders felt like I was forcing myself somehow.
That’s when I finally realized. When I’m following Master Yuuto, I feel like I’m following my instincts and acting the most like myself.
I clapped my hands to convey that I understood the story’s meaning.
“Oh, you did it! Biondetta. …I think there’s meaning to all actions like this, and their accumulation creates an image of the mind. It’s so uncertain that even you can’t confirm your existence unless some event always illuminates your mind.”
With those words, Master Yuuto handed me a scrap of a book with a regular hexahedron written on it. The way I was given this thought was still one of my standards of conduct… Or rather, about 25 percent of what made up me was this teaching. However, the other 75 percent were all influenced by Master Yuuto.
From there, I used my broad hearing to investigate various things to ascertain the shape of the minds of the other creatures.
…I didn’t understand what they were saying, but I could tell the difference between friendly voices and hostile ones. If I focused on how they were used, I could see the shape of their hearts in my hands.
(The self doesn’t exist, does it? Everyone’s just saying it because they feel like they know it. After all, isn’t that right? Even though living creatures change their attitudes bit by bit toward all communication partners they face. The self is only in other people’s minds.)
…My hearing was too good, and that’s probably the reason I was able to reach the truth that Master Yuuto gave me.
As a member of the Bug tribe, I can even distinguish sounds that humans can’t. No, even that was possible because Master Yuuto had a metaphysical perspective, and it wasn’t my power.
When I first consulted with Master Yuuto, I only wanted to know about a sentence that was incomprehensible in the Monster Settings, but Master Yuuto gave me wisdom and opened my closed eyes.
And with that truth, I learned the world’s highest efficiency.
After all, if you’re changing how you show yourself to everyone little by little, you’ll be able to gain the upper hand over all communication partners.
In that case, it wouldn’t be the best life if I spent the most time with the person I felt the most instinctively.
(What? The world is so simple.)
With that thought in mind, I stopped listening to the voices of the forest.
There are things other than the time I spend with Master Yuuto, and there may be things I don’t know. But there’s nothing better than Master Yuuto, so I must make the rest of my time as short as possible.
(My heart is not a cube, but a plane of 2D space that only exists between Lord Yuuto and others. I aim for the shape of that heart.)
If I aim for that, I’ll be able to lead the happiest life with the highest efficiency and out of all the possibilities in me.
…That said, this is only half of it.
At the time, I still only knew a little bit about how precious Master Yuuto was.
After that, my time with Master Yuuto grew exponentially, but my blossoming as a woman was only a year later. Before that, I thought I was just a monster.
Well, until I fell in love with the happiest, most efficient person in the world, I have a lot of heart-pounding memories of learning business from him…
(It’s a waste of time to remember that now.)
In front of me lay the scattered pieces of a Grimlich. It seems the fight ended while I was preoccupied with playing whack-a-mole.
“…Next time we meet Grimrich, we should switch to a magic type right away. I can’t believe he’s still alive, even if he loses his head.”
I regretted missing the highest efficiency, but I switched gears because worrying about it was a waste of time.
Just then, I heard a rustling sound behind me, so I immediately readied my weapon. …I had completely forgotten about the boring man behind me.
“Uwaaaah! I’m sorry, I’m sorry! It’s my fault! W-Wow! I-I’m sorry!!!”
Alan crawled over to me. He seemed to feel guilty about my lost arm protecting him. I took a few steps back, feeling sick from the snot dripping from my nose.
(Sigh. It would have been more effective for me to attack the capture team in a paper bag than Rosarosa’s stupid plan.)
With that thought in mind, I disarmed myself.