Translator: Lilo
Editor: Ryuubii

Chapter 5: Makabe Shizuru Is Not Cut Out For Romance

Act 4(2)

At the library after school.

The unsettling clouds covering the sky brought a steady rainfall in the afternoon. With the current climate, which can turn into a downpour or a thunderstorm at any time, some of the few regular students seemed to have gone straight home after class. Of course, since we don’t know when it will happen, God only knows whether it will be good or bad for us to leave school early. One thing I do know is that there are fewer visitors than usual today.

As I sat at the library counter, I wondered if Takinami-senpai would come today.

She might not come. No, she probably won’t. I rejected her invitation after all. There is no reason for her to come here anymore.

I should have gone to get her myself, I thought bitterly, feeling responsible for my own actions. Since there were few people anyway, there would have been no problem even if I had not opened the library at least today.

Time is passing.

It is still raining hard outside. Takinami-senpai must have gone home early. Hopefully, she returned home before it got stronger.

Then, about 30 minutes before closing.

At this hour of the day, someone arrived. It was probably not a student. It was probably a teacher who came to do some research. I thought so, and when I looked up at the presence, I saw that it was Takinami Ruika.

“……”

“……”

We looked at each other silently.

I was taken aback, not expecting Takinami-senpai to show up, but I wondered what she was thinking in her silence.

It was Takinami-senpai who looked away first.

She walked past the counter and sat down at one of the reading tables. It was as if she was ignoring my presence.

She took out her textbooks, notebooks, and pens from her school bag on the chair next to her. She seems to be studying. It’s probably because tests are coming up soon.

I put a note on the counter that said, “Currently away. I’ll be right back.” I went towards Takinami-senpai.

“…Can we talk for a minute?”

I called out to her.

However, she’s flipping through her book, not caring about me standing right next to her. Is she trying to ignore me?

Eventually, Takinami-senpai found the page she wanted and placed the book down, leaving it open.

“I’m going to solve a couple of problems and then go home. Will it be quick?”

She looks up and asks while looking at me.

“I’m afraid not.”

“Is that so? Well, I’ll listen. Let’s go outside.”

Takinami-senpai stood up. She then headed straight for the library entrance. I followed her.

The location is the hallway just outside the library. If the entrance door is left open, the counter can be seen from here, and it’s easy to see if someone comes in.

In the hallway in front of the library, I faced Takinami-senpai.

Naturally, there was no smile on her face. She was not angry, on the contrary, she seemed to be waiting to see what I would say.

Now, what should I say? I’m going to say something really pathetic. I hope I can at least land it right the first time.

Takinami-senpai let out a sigh, probably because I didn’t say anything even though I brought her out here to talk.

“I―”

As she began to speak, her expression and tone were detached.

“I thought the reason you suddenly became so distant was because of my joke on the train. But it’s about that rumor, right?”

“Well, I guess so.”

I responded.

As she said, that’s probably one of the reasons. Not the main factor, though.

“It’s just a stupid rumor. It’s not true. You yourself know that better than anyone else.”

“It doesn’t matter if they’re true or not when it comes to rumors. As long as it’s entertaining, that’s the essence of rumors. The truth and validity are just secondary.”

What supports the rumor system is the relationship between two parties: those who want to attract attention by telling an interesting story even if it’s exaggerated, and those who want to hear an interesting story even if it’s not true.

“On that note, the story is definitely more interesting when I’m a stalker.”

“It’s a mess.”

Takinami-senpai snickered.

“Yeah, it’s messed up and irresponsible. But even you had your fair share of rumors, right?”

“…Right.”

She seemed to have an idea of what I was talking about and affirmed it in short words.

Of course, I have one too. Over lunch with Karube and Heshikiri-san, we talked about the rumors we overheard. I recall two or three of them, and I’m sure there are others I can’t recall. I don’t even remember if those rumors are true or not. There’s a limit to being irresponsible. But rumors are a great way to fill in the gaps in a conversation.

“So you’re going to distance yourself from me?”

“I thought I’m not a good actor. It would reflect negatively on your name.”

Whether me being the stalker is true or not, many students would not be happy to see Takinami-senpai happily talking or eating with me in the cafeteria.

Takinami Ruika is beautiful, intelligent, and ladylike. She’s equally kind to everyone, but from an underclassman’s point of view, she’s a little difficult to talk to. They want her to be that way, and she should be. An ordinary boy like me should not be treated specially by her.

That’s what I,

Thought.

“But it was a mistake.”

That’s right. Another mistake.

Just as I should not have lied to Naoi Kyouhei, I should not have lied again.

To myself.

To Takinami-senpai.

I have an affection for Takinami Ruika. There’s no doubt about that. If that’s the case, isn’t it fine? Certainly, there’s the question of whether these feelings are genuine or not. However, if I put my own feelings aside just because I was thinking too much, I would be lying to myself. And by distancing myself from Takinami-senpai, by extension, I would lying to her as well.

Whenever I pushed Takinami-senpai away on several occasions, I always felt guilty.

I understand now. That pain in my chest was what Hasumi-senpai was talking about, the pain of lying to myself.

“Was it a mistake?”

Takinami-senpai asks back.

“Yeah, it was. Certainly, I wanted you to be the one from my ideal. But I, myself, should not have pushed that ideal onto you.”

I would have said it myself sometime. I was glad to know her true face. Why didn’t I follow through on that feeling?

Naoi Kyouhei had also said. What people around you say is just noise. No, on the contrary, even your own thoughts can be noise. Cut through the noise and decide for yourself in the end.

“I apologize for my attitude the last few days. So―”

“How selfish.”

Takinami-senpai did not let me finish.

A single phrase is all it takes to kick me down.

“You tried to distance yourself one-sidedly and realized that it was a mistake, now you want to start over? How self-centered, don’t you think so?”

“…I do.”

Of course I think so. No man could be more selfish.

“Then you know the answer, don’t you? Don’t upset my feelings any more. Don’t upset me any more.”

Takinami-senpai coldly said, then turned on her feet and walked back inside the library.

I was left alone in the hallway.

No wonder she was angry. It was too selfish of me to ask her to pretend it had never happened because I apologized. Takinami-senpai must have made her mind long ago, and she came here today to tell me that.

It looks like I was too late.