Translator: Lilo
Editor: Ryuubii

Chapter 1: Makabe Shizuru and His Seniors

Act 3

After not going to school for quite some time, I visited the library when class finished.

Not for borrowing books, rather for committee work.

As Hasumi-senpai pointed out, I belong to the library committee. What’s more, I’m its only member.

The work of a library committee is not particularly hard. The library is open after school and closes at 6 pm. During the open hours, the work consists of checking out the books to borrow, handling books to be returned, and organizing the shelves. The more complicated tasks, such as book selection, purchasing, and receiving new books, are the responsibilities of the faculty.

I was told that while I was absent due to unavoidable circumstances, the teacher who was available opened the library and sat at the counter.

When I opened the library with the key I received from the staff room, the first thing I saw was a pile of returned books on the counter.

“Well, I kinda expected this but…”

The teacher who handled the library must have only checked out and received returned books on his own while doing his own work at the counter, and did little to organize it.

As I was looking at the pile of books to be organized, someone walked past from behind me.

She is a female student in the 12th grade who always gets in first.

Her long, straight black hair flutters as she sits in her usual seat by the window. We haven’t seen each other in quite some time, so it might be nice to say something. Since we’re acquaintanced and all.

I quickly turned on the computer. Since It would probably take quite a while for it to get up and running, I decided to organize the books before then.

As I continued to work, students soon arrived here and there. Most of them are regulars. Some of them approached me since I was away for a while. They asked me how I’ve been, but I just replied nonchalantly, I don’t really want the story to spread after all.

It was at that time when I almost finished organizing the books that had accumulated.

“Makabe-kun.”

A voice that had a melodic tone called my name.

I looked up from my seat and saw a neat and tidy beauty with her long hair carefully set standing there, smiling. The soft lines outlining her eyes gave a gentle impression to those who looked at her.

Takinami Ruika.

She is often mentioned together with Hasumi Shion, the other pair of jewels our school were proud of.

“I passed you by the hallway at lunchtime, so I knew you were already at school but it’s nice to see your face here after a while.”

“Well, I can’t exactly be absent forever.”

When I responded, Takinami-senpai’s smile suddenly clouded.

“But I heard your mother passed away. Makabe-kun, are you okay?”

It seems she knew about my situation. Since I was absent from the committee for a long time, she must have asked my homeroom teacher or the teacher who is the advisor of the library committee.

“Well, I’d be lying if I said I was fine. Since I just lost my one and only mother. However, I can’t grieve forever, so I’ll get my feelings sorted out.”

“Alright. You’re quite strong. If you need any help, just let me know, okay? I can help you.”

Takinami Ruika is this kind of person.

She is not as easygoing as Hasumi-senpai, and it is difficult to talk to her when you have little contact with her, but she treats everyone equally. This is probably what makes her so popular.

“Thank you. I appreciate it.”

I expressed my gratitude to her.

‘For me to, no, we’re both being quite obvious to each other… although it’s late to say that now.’

But inwardly, that’s what I thought.

I looked at the wall clock and saw that the two hands were already pointing to 5:50 PM. Ten minutes before closing. While I was quietly putting away the stacks of books, more time had passed than I had expected.

Looking around the library, I saw only two students remaining. The girl from third grade who first entered the library and another boy who seemed to be studying hard were the only two left. The latter seemed to be just about to leave, and was just now getting up to grab his bag.

Me and Takinami-senpai silently watched the student leave.

Then, just after the student disappeared, as if she had been waiting for it…

“You know, Shizuru, isn’t it awful for you to not contact me at all? We were worried because you’ve been absent for so long.”

Takinami-senpai’s soft smile was gone, and she turned her face to me as she leaned forward on the counter, looking really dissatisfied. If I was wearing winter clothes, she might have grabbed my tie and pulled it off.

“I have no obligation to inform you, Takinami-senpai. Being that you’re basically a stranger to me.”

Me, on the other hand, flipped the switch in return. I reply in a curt manner.

“I understand. Shall we officially date, then? That way, we won’t be strangers anymore.”

“You’re always saying that when you get the chance, don’t you? I humbly refuse.”

Takinami Ruika is also this kind of person.

On the surface, she is a gentle, soft-spoken honor student who leads a quiet life in high school. But beneath the mask, this is how she is. When there is no one around and it is just the two of us, this is what happens.

There is one thing in common between me and Takinami-senpai.

And that is—.

 §§§

It was only recently that I managed to get to know a woman named Takinami Ruika. It was this spring when I entered the 11th grade.

As usual, I was sitting at the counter as the only member of the library committee when she appeared just as the library was closing.

Takinami-senpai entered the library somewhat nervously. She probably does not use the library very often. But I imagine that she had to come here for a reason – I calmly deduced.

And my eyes suddenly met hers.

Simultaneously, I put on a smile.

“Hello, Takinami-senpai.”

A greeting with a smile.

But there was no response from her. On the contrary, Takinami-senpai turned her cold, somewhat observant gaze on me, something I had never seen before.

‘Hmm, That Takinami-senpai also makes this kind of face, huh?’

It was quite surprising.

But it was nothing great

I observed her as much as she did. Soon after this, I realized that I gave Takinami-senpai the same amount of time to observe me as well. It was only for a few moments, but it was enough for her.

“Hello there.”

Finally, Takinami-senpai said those words with a soft smile.

Although it probably lasted less than ten seconds.

“Are you looking for any books?”

“Let’s see…”

Takinami-senpai stood in front of the counter, pretending to think.

Then, as if looking for my reaction, she continued with her words.

“If you stare into the abyss, the abyss stares back at you.”

“….”

I suddenly found myself lost for words.

The timing of that line, uttered at this point in time, is just like mine from earlier. What on earth was Takinami-senpai’s intention?

“That’s a famous quote. There are several books by Nietzsche here and there, If I’m not mistaken.”

Yet I quickly regain my footing and comply.

“Are you from the library committee? What’s your name?”

Takinami-senpai asked.

“It’s Makabe Shizuru.”

“Hmm. Makabe, Shizuru, huh?”

Takinami-senpai pronounced my name carefully, checking how it rolls off the tongue.

“You know me?”

“Of course. You’re a celebrity, Takinami-senpai. I doubt there’s any boys in the school who don’t know you.”

“Oh, I don’t remember being that famous.”

She giggled as she spoke.

“If you are looking for a book, I can help you.”

Takinami-senpai and I exchange words one after another.

Earlier I thought I was being observed by her, but was it just my imagination? Just as I was thinking, it flew in like a surprise.

“No, books are good for now.”

She tilted her head.

“Nevermind that― say, Makabe-kun. Do you ever camly look at your current situation from a third-person view?”

“…”

I fell silent in alarm.

“Looks like I’m right.”

Takinami-senpai smiled as the edges of her mouth hung open. It was a smile I had never seen before, and one that was unlike her.

“When I entered the library, you first observed me.”

“……”

She knew.

It’s exactly what Nietzsche calls the abyss.

“Then, when our eyes met, you immediately prepared a smile. But if I made a face that I wouldn’t normally make, you calmly observed it as well.”

In other words, by observing herself, she managed to observe me. It seems that my initial feeling was not wrong.

Takinami-senpai was right about everything.

Right, I can see myself objectively and dispassionately. By looking at myself objectively, including the situation at any given time, I am able to find the best solution for how I should act and what kind of expression I should make in each situation.

“It seems that we’re kindred spirits in a way.”

“Kindred spirits?”

“Yes, kindred spirits.”

When I asked her, she nodded her head.

“I’m the same way. I can objectively view myself. I know what I should do in what situation. That’s why we are the same.”

“I didn’t say I’m like that, did I?”

“But you didn’t deny it. If what I said was so misguided, you would have denied it right away. I never thought that while going to the library for books… I would stumble into something like this.”

Takinami Ruika laughs in delight.

“You’re much cooler when you’re calm and focused like right now than earlier when you’re just smiling for service, you know?”

“I know that much.”

I immediately retorted.

I know myself very well. Objectively speaking, I am not that bad looking. I just don’t feel like bragging about it because it is something my mother gave me, not something I earned through my own efforts.

“Is that so? It’s a good thing to know yourself.”

Takinami smiles again in satisfaction at my egotistical response.

“Then, let me ask you, Makabe-kun. Do you have your own proper self?”