Please Do Not Say “I Love You” To Me - 1 - Christmas Eve

“Brr, it’s quite chilly out here.”

It’s December 24th, Christmas Eve—a time for families to gather, couples to embark on romantic dates, and numerous festive activities. And then there’s me, standing in the park like a frozen statue, passing the time by scrolling through random content on my phone. Why am I here, you ask? Well, that’s a story you’ll soon find out.

“Hiroki-kun!”

A feminine voice calls my name, and behold, she has arrived.

“Hey, Shiroi. You made it.”

“Sorry for being late. The train was packed with people.”

“No worries. I just got here too.”

Before me stands Kawamoto Shiori, a classmate and dear friend. She flaunts a medium-length silver-colored hair swaying gently in the cold wind, and her eyes are a mesmerizing cerulean blue, resembling a vast ocean—truly captivating.

“So, how do I look?” Shiori inquires while blushes slightly

“Hmm…” I scrutinize her outfit—a light-blue long sleeve paired with a black-and-white striped skirt, complemented by a darkish blue long sleeve and a cyan-striped scarf around her neck.

“Yeah. You look beautiful.” I admit what I had in mind.

“Really? Thank you, hehe.” she responds with a joyful smile.

Although we’re just friends, I can’t shake off this nervousness. Why now, of all times?

“Well then, let’s go. I’m excited for that ‘free food’ you promised.”

“Come on, I shouldn’t have invited you if that’s all you’re after.”

“I’m just joking, Shiori.”

“Heehee, I know. Then, let’s enjoy ourselves, shall we?”

Tonight’s plan is to simply ‘have fun,’ according to her, but I’m clueless about the specifics. Our destination for tonight is a mall.

First, she takes us to a packed cinema, filled with couples. We’re about to watch a cheesy romance movie, but as long as she enjoys it, I’m fine. I offer to pay for the tickets, but she insists on covering the cost.

Next, we head to an extravagant restaurant. The place itself looks way too fancy. Is this even a restaurant? Wait, I saw someone eating in the corner, I guess it is a restaurant. But do we even have a reservation here?

“I’ve already made a reservation here, just so you know.”

So she’s already made a reservation. The waiter then takes us to Shiroi’s reserved table. It’s just next to the window from which we can see outside. With all of the Christmas decorations outside, the scenery is stunning.

“This place is fancy. It seems too pricey. Are you sure about me ordering whatever I want?”

“Relax, you don’t need to worry. I told you, I’ll take care of everything.”

For the record, Shiroi comes from a well-off family, and she covers all the expenses. I can’t shake the feeling that I don’t quite deserve this.

In the end, I choose the cheapest thing on the menu, leaving Shiori puzzled.

After our exquisite dinner, we went outdoors to catch a peek of the Illumination Tower’s illumination lights, as this would be our final activity for the evening. It is already 11:50 PM.

“Aww, I thought we’d have a good view from here.”

Unfortunately, the view here is subpar, requiring us to crane our necks upward for a better perspective. To make matters worse, there’s a considerable crowd milling around.

“Yeah, this view is terrible. Hold on.” I recall a better spot to enjoy the tower’s splendor. I believe we should head there.

“Hmm? What’s on your mind, Hiroki-kun?”

“I’ve got something in mind, Shiroi. Follow me.”

“Ah—hey, wait!” I lead Shiori by her hand. It feels soft and fluffy, much like holding a dog’s paw.

We stroll for a few minutes until I spot a narrow road leading uphill. Following it, we reach a tranquil spot with an unobstructed view of the Illumination Tower.

“Here we are. You can see the Illumination Tower perfectly from here.”

“It’s true, the view is amazing. It looks so pretty!”

The tower features a stunning display of brilliant color, mostly comprised of continually changing light and color patterns. Since it’s the Christmas season, it displays colors that showcases the colors of Christmas.

“I’m glad no one is here.”

We take a position behind a railing. Fortunately, this area is devoid of people, allowing us to savor the view without distraction. Not just the towers but another sight—the pure, genuine happiness radiating from my friend.

The girl before me is unlike the one I initially met—a seemingly cold, emotionless individual with few friends. I can’t help but laugh at the sight.

“Why are you laughing, Hiroki-kun?” Shiori notices my sudden chuckle and looks at me.

“Nothing. It’s just that you look completely different from when we first met.”

“W-What—” she wears another puzzled expression, prompting me to laugh again. This time, she playfully hits my back with her small hands.

“Meanie, Hiroki-kun,” Shiori says, pouting.

“It’s because of you that I ended up like this.” she continues.

“Yeah.”

“And you better take responsibility for this.”

“That sounds so wrong when you put it that way.”

Well, I don’t mind being with her for as long as I can. Wait, that sounds like I’m trying to become her partner.

“…”

“…”

This is getting awkward. What now?

“Nee, Hiroki-kun.”

“Ah, yes?” While lost in my thoughts, Shiroi calls out to me.

“Give me your hand.”

“Um, okay?” I offer her my hand, and she begins touching it.

“Your hand… It feels warm.”

She then takes my hand and links it with hers.

“Uh, what are you doing?” I ask, confused.

“Hand-holding. It’s what I do.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Do you hate it?”

“It’s not that I hate it. I thought you only hold hands with someone you truly like.”

“What if I told you that I like you, Hiroki-kun?”

“What are you even—mmphff???” Before I could voice further protest, she swiftly moves close, her lips meeting mine. I’m taken aback by her sudden boldness. She eventually pulls away.

“Still don’t believe me?”

“With what you just did, how could I not?”

“Fufu. Dense Hiroki-kun.”

This time, I’ll be the attacking side I thought.

As if she can read my thoughts, she closes her eyes, anticipating another kiss. I gently hold her cheeks, caressing her soft lips. After a moment, I delicately separate our connected lips.

“I love you, Hiroki-kun.”

“Me too. I love you, Shiroi.”

“I love you, I love you, I love you so much, Hiroki-kun!” she exclaims while embracing me tightly.

“Yeah. I’m happy that you feel that way about me.”

So this is what it feels like to be in love? It’s a wonderful and joyous sensation, almost overwhelming. I can barely contain my happiness; I might even cry at this point. If someone were watching from above, I’d hope this feeling would last forever.

“I hope I could experience this feeling once again.”

And then,

“Shiori?”

As we bask in these memorable moments, Shiroi remains unresponsive for a while.

“Shiori? Hey, Shiroi, come on, stop playing pranks on me.”

Her eyes are shut. I try shaking her body as hard as I can, but there’s no response.

“Shiori! Shiori! Wake up! Shiori!”

No matter what I do, she won’t wake up.

No, no, no, you can’t do this to me! Shiori!!

The Illumination Tower stands silently, bearing witness to one of the most tragic days. Christmas Day, 12:00 AM. Kawamoto Shiori is confirmed to be dead.