Chapter 18 – The Definition of Normal

My head was still buzzing from the sheer weirdness of it all.

Elizabeth’s talk of world domination echoed in my brain. It was a headache I didn’t need. I had to get away, to find some corner of this mountain that wasn’t actively planning a holy war in my name. I just wanted five minutes of peace. A normal conversation. That’s all I asked for.

There was only one person who came close to fitting that description.

Seda was my most normal disciple. That wasn’t saying much. It was like being the tallest person in a room full of dwarves; the bar was incredibly low. She was still a little crazy, but she was definitely more normal than the others. Especially Sakura, with her punch-drunk ecstasy, and Elizabeth, with her apocalyptic ambitions. A talk with Seda was my only shot at sanity.

I headed toward the Radiant Path’s side of the village. The contrast was immediate and jarring. The Ashen Guard’s area was all black obsidian and sharp angles, built for brutal efficiency. It screamed “final fortress.” The Radiant Path’s territory, however, was a testament to Seda’s over-the-top elegance. The buildings were carved from pristine white marble, with gold filigree tracing the eaves. The paths were lined with glowing crystals that pulsed with a soft, warm light. It was less of a dojo and more of a high-end celestial spa. The sheer chuunibyou energy of it all was exhausting.

I found her in the Pavilion of Serene Reflection. It was a small, open-air structure in the center of a meticulously manicured garden. Inside, the source of my potential peace was on her knees. She was polishing a life-sized marble bust of me with a silk cloth. Her movements were frantic, desperate. Her shoulders trembled, and I could see the glistening tracks of tears on her cheeks even from a distance.

So much for a normal conversation.

She hadn’t noticed me yet, too lost in her ritual of tearful housekeeping. Her long, crimson hair was a mess, and her formal blouse was rumpled. She looked like she’d been at this for hours. I cleared my throat, the sound unnaturally loud in the quiet garden.

Seda froze. The silk cloth dropped from her hand. She squeezed her eyes shut, as if the very sight of me was a painful judgment. Her knuckles were white where she gripped the base of my marble effigy.

“Master.”

Her voice was a choked whisper, thick with unshed tears. She didn’t turn to face me. She couldn’t. The shame was apparently too much. I had a very bad feeling about this.

“Seda?”

She finally turned, and the full force of her dramatic despair hit me. Her eyes were red and swollen. She looked at me with an expression of such profound failure that you’d think I’d just caught her selling state secrets. She honestly looked more upset than when Sakura found out a master-forged sword had gone missing.

“I have failed you.”

She scrambled to her feet, only to drop into a deep, prostrating bow, her forehead touching the polished floor.

“I am unworthy of your light. My devotion was weak. My faith, impure. I saw the mission to retrieve the sacred blade given to the Ashen Guard, and I understood. It was a sign. A test that I have failed.”

Oh, for the love of… She thought I was punishing her. She thought I’d chosen Elizabeth’s side. Her logic was just as twisted as Elizabeth’s, just pointed in a different direction. Instead of seeing it as a sign to conquer the world, she saw it as a sign of her own personal failure.

I needed to fix this. Trying to explain the actual truth was pointless. I’d tried that before. She had this unshakable belief that Sakura, my first disciple, was merely a vessel for my divine will. In her mind, every decision, no matter how small, was part of my grand, incomprehensible plan. Arguing with that kind of belief system was impossible. I had to play the game. I had to speak her language.

I stepped closer, my shadow falling over her. She trembled but didn’t move.

“Seda.”

My voice was gentle. I hoped it sounded wise and not just tired.

“Look at me.”

Slowly, she lifted her head. Her eyes were filled with a heartbreaking mix of adoration and misery. This was going to be tricky. I needed to go along with her chuunibyou fantasy.

“I haven’t chosen sides yet.”

Her breath hitched. A tiny flicker of hope sparked in her tear-filled eyes. I pressed on, building the lie.

“This was Elizabeth’s chance to prove the utility of her methods. A test, just as you said. But not for you.”

I paused, letting the words sink in. I had her full, undivided attention.

“The next one will be yours.”

The change was instantaneous. The storm of despair vanished. The tears stopped. Her eyes, which had been dull with sadness, now blazed with a renewed, fanatical light. She rose to her feet in a single, graceful motion, her entire posture transformed from shame to righteous purpose.

“I understand, Master!”

Her voice was clear and strong, ringing with absolute conviction. She took a step toward me, her hands clasped before her chest like a true believer.

“I will not waste the opportunity. The Radiant Path will redouble its efforts. We will be ready to show the underworld your true glory. Not through brutish force, but through the overwhelming beauty of your divine grace! I will prepare them to receive your light. I will make myself worthy. I will not fail you again!”

Her face was flushed with excitement. Her promise was terrifying. I wasn’t sure which was worse: Elizabeth wanting to conquer the world for me, or Seda wanting to turn it into a planet-sized cult in my name. They were two sides of the same insane coin.

I needed to escape before she started outlining her missionary strategy. I gave her what I hoped was an enigmatic, all-knowing smile. It probably just looked like I was constipated.

She seemed to buy it. She bowed again, a gesture full of renewed hope and terrifying dedication. I backed away slowly, then turned and walked out of the pavilion, leaving her in the company of my stoic marble face. The conversation had somehow left me even more exhausted than the one with Elizabeth.

Well, time for tea.

I just hoped I wouldn’t regret this.