Chapter 5 – Code Name: Falcon

I am Sagara Kotaro.

Code Name: Falcon.

『Why are you suddenly acting broken…?』

I work as God’s agent. An agent, so to speak.

『Heeey, don’t ignore me!』

Being an agent means wiping God’s ass.

For the sake of the mission, I turn the world against me.

But this is all for God’s sake.

Sigh, what a drag.

『Hey hey, doesn’t this make you sad?』

Oh right, this annoying little thing is my buddy, the armored cyborg Lady.

I’m a space pirate sailing across the galaxy…

『Weren’t you an agent? How can you casually forget the setting from 10 seconds ago?』

Shut uuuup!

Fine then!

I’m gonna have perverted fantasies!

Terrorists come and kill all the male students at school, leaving me with a harem!

Ahh-waaaa! Ah-ha♪ Oh my♪

I unleash perverted fantasies too shameful to speak aloud.

『Hey, there are girls here! St-stop! How much do you like bunny girls!? Stop it!』

You underestimated a middle school boy’s libido toward porn—that’s where your luck ran out!

『P-pervert!』

Fufuun.

Now then, with our guts thoroughly chilled, we explored the sea of the internet together.

After all, if our assumptions are true, we’re involved in a major incident.

We want as much preliminary knowledge as possible.

First, let’s look at the incident articles.

Commonly known as the South Kanto Serial Child Abduction-Murder Case.

The case began 10 years ago when the daughter of actress Hojo Rikako, who was active in TV and film, was kidnapped.

At the time, the Hojo family was shopping at a shopping mall in Saitama Prefecture.

A happy family.

Hojo Rikako left her daughter Misao with her husband and manager Kenjiro while she went to buy food at a fast-food restaurant in the food court.

“I’ll go buy hamburgers, so watch Misao for me.”

“Yeah, got it. Misao, stay with Daddy, okay?”

Probably an exchange like this took place.

A perfectly ordinary happy family. Despite being an actress, she apparently walked around openly.

However, her husband Kenjiro and daughter Misao suddenly disappeared.

Despite there being several hundred customers in the food court at the time.

Hojo Rikako immediately reported it to the information desk. A very sensible decision.

Staff searched everywhere, but the two couldn’t be found, and several hours later they reported it to the police through the facility.

Because the victim was a celebrity, police immediately began investigating.

However, the Hojo side claims there was a delay in initial response.

A third-party committee investigation by the Saitama Prefectural Police later determined there were no problems with the initial investigation. (But apparently the person in charge resigned from the police and took a cushy post-retirement job.)

While Hojo Rikako was being crushed by anxiety, the case developed the next day.

It was an ordinary delivery.

The box was from a major online retailer. Item name: “Copy Paper.”

It was indeed heavy, apparently.

There was nothing suspicious about the outside, but just in case, an investigator opened it.

That judgment was correct.

Inside was everything from the right wrist down, apparently drained of blood.

From the fingerprints, it was identified as belonging to husband Kenjiro.

Police determined there was a high probability that Kenjiro had died based on the blood loss from severing a wrist.

24 hours after the incident, they switched to a public investigation as an assault and kidnapping case.

It’s “assault” because no body was found.

A desperate investigation was conducted, but Hojo Misao’s whereabouts remained unknown.

Since then, the case has remained unsolved for 10 years.

…Now, there’s more to this story.

Afterward, four cases of missing toddlers were discovered.

A total of four children in Tokyo, Saitama, Chiba, and Kanagawa.

The whereabouts of four children were unknown.

This was exposed in a weekly magazine by a certain journalist a year after the incident.

It was apparently quite the topic at the time.

But there’s a punchline to this story.

Several months after the news, this journalist was found dead under a guard rail near his local station.

He was stabbed repeatedly all over his body… apparently.

With their faces completely smashed, the Tokyo Metropolitan Police, Saitama Prefectural Police, Kanagawa Prefectural Police, and Chiba Prefectural Police are currently offering rewards of 10 million yen each for information on the six cases, including Hojo Misao’s kidnapping and the journalist’s murder.

Uwaaah… what is this, so scary…

Alright, investigation over♪

Can I have a cute girlfriend now, please?

『No, apparently not. At this rate, you’ll be a virgin until age 50.』

Gununununu!

Giving me specific numbers!

Fine! I’ll do it, okay!?

I stuff textbooks into my bag and pull out my white-belted martial arts uniform, packing it into a sports bag.

『Preparing for tomorrow?』

“Well yeah. Because I’m such a serious student, I’m wasting my youth solely on aikido… ahhh… beautiful youth continuing until age 50…”

『Don’t give uuuup!』

Don’t underestimate my tofu-level mental fortitude!

『I think you’re the type who’d survive even if humanity went extinct.』

Shut uuuup!

While I was having what must be my umpteenth argument of the day, the room door slid open with a rattle.

Without knocking.

This insensitivity must mean…

“Oi, dinner’s ready.”

It’s Mom.

『Come on, eat and clear your head.』

Yes, yes.

When I got to the dining table, my mother was setting out the food.

I sit at the table.

Dad was eating ahead of me while watching TV.

He doesn’t say anything even though he notices me.

This lack of communication ability.

Mom also sits at the table.

Looking at my mother, I had an idea.

That’s right.

Why don’t I just get my parents to act?

If I spread irresponsible rumors and they reach the police’s ears, that’d be easy!

I began my operation.

“Hey Mom, do you know an actress named Hojo Rikako?”

“Yeah. She was a good actress, but she retired after that incident. Why?”

Pretty knowledgeable.

Is she a fan?

“Well, a girl who looks just like that actress transferred to our school.”

“Oh, so she’s beautiful?”

She’s an incredible beauty.

“And you know, I think that actress’s daughter was kidnapped… ehehehehe.”

My parents’ eyes suddenly changed—sharp glares.

Ah, stepped on a landmine.

“What exactly do you mean by that?”

Her tone is irritated.

My mother has been like this a lot lately.

“N-no… if she’s the kidnapped kid… that’d be scary… tehe…”

Snap.

The bomb exploded.

Ah, let me explain before the bomb fully detonates.

Ever since I almost died in the snow, my mother has been trying to put me under her control.

The possibility of a broken neck apparently really got to her.

Now she treats me like a kindergartener.

To be blunt, she’s gone beyond overprotective to overbearing.

And I can’t tell at all when she’ll snap.

It’s seriously tough for a middle schooler in the thick of his rebellious phase.

“What are you saying!? Mom didn’t raise you to have such a twisted way of looking at things!”

No, the one who twisted my personality is definitely you.

It absolutely must be you.

“You’re bullying that girl, aren’t you!”

“I’m not!”

“If you’re like this at home, you must be the same outside! You idiot!”

Why must my entire character be negated?

“A pathetic kid like you doesn’t get to eat anymore!”

She won’t listen to reason.

Tch… I’m done with this hassle.

“Fine then. I won’t talk about it anymore.”

“What about dinner?”

“I don’t care!”

I’ll go eat out later.

Ahhh, what troublesome creatures parents are.

It’s fine to worry about your kid, but excessive worry ends up cornering them instead.

What’s there to complain about with a kid who gets good grades, is athletic, and doesn’t commit crimes?

Is it virginity!?

Is virginity the root of all evil!?

『Isn’t it that perverted side of you?』

Listen here.

You guys are the cause.

Tell God that today’s meal costs are business expenses.

『Geez! Fine, I get it!』

Uhehehe.

But still, even my parents have this attitude.

Convincing the police will be even harder.

I need more decisive evidence.

What should I do… I don’t want to be a virgin forever.

Ah, I thought of something good.

Since it’s on expenses, maybe I’ll go eat some ramen while I’m at it.

I change clothes and head outside.

As expected, my mother spots me.

“Where are you going!?”

“Running.”

It’s not a lie.

After all, a girl lives inside my head.

If I don’t dispel my worldly desires through exercise, I might engage in critical acts.

That’s why I always go running to purge my desires.

Though I am a gentleman, I’m not such an advanced gentleman that I’d do that in front of a young lady!

“Going out wandering around at night!”

“Then I’ll become a delinquent and go ‘hyah-ha!'”

I came here on a bike!

This time it’s on foot though.

“Kotaro, stop!”

Shut it.

I leave the house.

I’m not in the wrong.

God is.

So I won’t apologize. I absolutely won’t apologize.

『You stubborn thing. The truth is, you don’t know how to explain things to your mother who became overprotective after you almost died in the snow, so you’re just running away, right?』

Shut up.

Ramen, ramen, ramen.

I’m helping God.

I should be entitled to this much of a perk.

I run toward the station area.

『God understands, you know. Even without threatening you with lifelong virginity, you’re actually curious about the case, aren’t you? You’re just running away because you can’t be certain and don’t know how a middle schooler should handle this. That’s why he made it easier for you to help.』

Frustratingly, I’ll admit part of that.

But you’re wrong about one thing.