The Case of Liking the Most Beautiful Girl in the School Even After Being Told Not to Like Her - Chapter 16 - Past

Chapter 16 – Past

I have very little memory of doing anything with my dad. It’s not that I have amnesia or that I simply forgot. It’s just that he was so busy with work that we didn’t have much time to spend together.

I didn’t have many great memories of my dad, because it was like that from when I was little until I was in the seventh grade. But I do have one memory. It was a family camping trip. Because I was being selfish, my dad decided to go too.

I didn’t think at the time that it would be the first and last time we would go anywhere as a family.

One Monday, soon after I entered middle school, I woke up unusually early.

Dad always leaves early in the morning, so I never get to see him in the morning. But I thought I could see him at this time, so I left the bedroom and went to the living room. But he was gone.

Then, I heard a noise from the front door and I rushed from the living room to the front door. When I got there, I saw my dad’s back for a few seconds, and then the front door closed.

And that day, Dad had an accident and never came home.

I still remember the back of his head. I still regret not running out of the house to talk to my dad, even if only for a moment. I wanted to say goodbye even just once. I wanted to…talk with him more.

I have so many regrets that there is no end to them. If only I had done what I wanted to do back then… If only I had stopped my dad at the time… I sometimes wondered if something would have been different if I had stopped him. But even if I think that, I can’t change what happened.

I feel like I have changed since I started living with just my mom.

I used to do my studies at random and only did what I wanted to do. But now I want to give my mom as much enjoyment as possible, so I study harder than ever and start thinking about my future so that I can have a stable life.

I used to leave most of the things at home to my mom, but now I do them myself. I want to be able to support my mom, and I want to be able to manage on my own.

My three years of junior high school were full of my own and family matters, and I never fell in love with anyone or played with my friends, but only studied.

From high school onwards, I changed. I made friends with everyone, even with boys I didn’t particularly like, and I was so close to everyone that I didn’t let anyone say I was a “beauty on all sides”.

Friendship is important… I was never good at socializing with people, but from high school onwards, I wanted to be someone who valued friendship and didn’t let people speak ill of me. But before I knew it, I had started to play the role of an honor student because I wanted to feel superior when someone praised me or told me I was pretty.

I say things I don’t think, or force myself to fit in with everyone else…

There were days when I thought it would be a good idea to just tell everything I was thinking in front of everyone. But if I did that, I would lose everything I had built up. So I found a place where no one would come and I would say what I was thinking and let out all the stress I had built up.

I thought that place would be the back of the school building…but I was naive enough to think that people wouldn’t come here.

That’s right… That’s when he appeared in front of me. He who never looked at me at all and never seemed to be interested in anything…

＊＊＊

I have very few memories of my mom. The only memories I can recall are of talking to her in her hospital room. When I was five years old, my mom collapsed and she was admitted to a hospital from that day onwards.

“Thanks again for coming today, Yuuto.”

I felt a mysterious sense of security when my head was stroked.

“Mom, when will you get better?”

When I mentioned a thought that occurred to me, she stopped stroking her hand, and for a moment, I saw a sad look on my mom’s face.

“Yes… I think it’ll be very soon…”

Soon… It wasn’t the first time I heard those words that day. No matter how many times I asked, the answer was the same. Every time I asked, I wondered when soon would be.

One day in my second year of junior high school, I was still going to the hospital to visit her every day.

“Mom, is there anywhere you want to go or anything you want to do when you get out of hospital?”

There was no talk of her being discharged, but just in case, I wanted to do something for my mom.

“It would be nice if Yuuto, Koji-san and I went somewhere together. But Yuuto is already in junior high school, so it’s better to play with friends, right?”

I shook my head at my mom’s words.

“No, spending time with friends is important, but spending time with family is more important. So when you get out of the hospital, the three of us will go somewhere together. Of course, we can go wherever you want.”

When I said that, my mom smiled happily.

“Yuuto.”

Mom called my name and she beckoned me to come over. Wondering what it was, I found a chair near the bed and sat on it.

“Hmm? What’s wrong?”

When I asked her, she grabbed my hand. I still remember the warmth of her hand at that time.

“If Yuuto has someone who is as important to him as his family, make sure you take care of that person.”

“As important as family…”

Whether that’s a friend or a lover… I didn’t know, but I nodded my head.

“All right. Okay then, I’m going home.”

“Be careful on your way home.”

“Yeah…”

I thought I would be able to talk to her again tomorrow…but that day was the last day I would talk to my mom.

＊＊＊

When someone is as important to me as my family… I wonder if that might mean a new family. Mina-san and Kaho-san are family now. I am certain that they are very important people.

However, I think it’s wrong to say that Mina-san and Kaho-san are as important to me as my family, as my mom said. I think it’s something other than family.