Non-Human Girls Are Fighting Over Me ~ Do I Get to Refuse? “Nope!” “No Way!” “Not a Chance!” “Absolutely Not!” - Chapter 3: Salad Anniversary

Chapter 3: Salad Anniversary

—Modern Japan.

The biggest problem in this world—is boredom.

There’s plenty of conflict. Turn on the news, and it’s wars, terrorism, murders, accidents. The number of deaths dwarfs the battlefields of the other world.

…But it has nothing to do with me.

Because of the curse, I can’t step into those “bloodbaths.” If I try to approach the scent of blood and death, my body refuses to obey, as if dragged back by invisible chains.

So I’ve been—drifting through this Eastern island nation for sixty years.

The worst part is the extreme lack of non-humans.

It’s all humans here. Vampires, demons, spirits… I rarely encounter them.

It’s lonely. It’s boring. Even finding someone to feed on is dull.

※

Encounter with the Demon Fox

The other day, I finally met a rare opponent. A nine-tailed demon fox.

I sensed I could fight it. My chest thrummed with excitement.

“I challenge you to a duel.”

To my words, it blinked and—

“Oh, sorry~ I’ve gotta prep dinner soon. Are you a student? Must be nice. Housewives are so busy, you know.”

“Huh? …Dinner?”

“Yeah, yeah. Thinking up meals every day is such a hassle~ By the way, what do you think I should make for dinner tonight?”

I answered, dumbfounded.

“…I only drink blood, so I wouldn’t know.”

“Oh, right! My bad~ Well, see ya!”

It swished its tails and sauntered off.

…My fighting spirit froze in an instant.

※

Encounter with the Demon

A few months later, I came across another rare being. A demon this time. Not an archdemon, but enough to make my blood stir.

But the moment it opened its mouth—

“Uh, sorry. This area’s got a lot of my husband’s work contacts, you know. Getting seen would be kinda bad. Also, it’s a religious no-go. Namu namu.”

“…Religious? What’s that supposed to mean?”

I didn’t understand. I still don’t, but my urge to kill fizzled out just as quickly.

※

In the end, I can’t fight anyone.

My fangs, my claws, my thirst for blood—they’re all useless in this world.

“…It’s peaceful, isn’t it?”

The words slipped from my mouth unbidden.

A sensation I learned over centuries, having lived in a world of war and slaughter.

Peace—was boredom itself.

No helping it.

Maybe I’ll watch a movie today.

I pull an old DVD from the shelf.

It’s Tough Being a Man. Tora-san’s smiling face stares back at me.

Nostalgic. How many times have I watched this?

“Heh… Salad Anniversary, huh?”

A vampire who once drank blood and slew demons in another world—

…God, it’s boring.

But the most infuriating thing—is that I’m starting to think this boredom isn’t so bad.