Chapter 8: Don’t Corrupt Her, Mom

【Eksu PoV】

After I was practically forced to accept the friendship of this girl Elizabeth by my mother, we went to sleep.

Elizabeth slept in my mother’s room… seriously… this spoiled girl got everything she wanted…

Anyway, we went to sleep…

◆

The next day I woke up with her calling me…

“Eksu-san…”

This Eksu-san thing again…

Seriously, this makes me look old…

Even if I add my old age from my past life to this one, I still wouldn’t qualify as an old man, damn it…

Anyway… I better wake up.

“Elizabeth…, what the hell are you doing in my room…”

Before getting out of bed, I asked the million-dollar question…

Not that I needed to ask, really. It was already obvious. This was probably my mother’s setup… no… scratch “probably,” it was definitely her setup.

This could only be her doing…

Elizabeth stood there smiling brightly, seemingly oblivious to the fact that barging into someone’s room unannounced was not normal.

“I came to wake you up, Eksu-san…”

“I already know that… but why?”

“Your mother asked me…”

“Damn… by the way… stop with this ‘san’ business!”

I understand formality. I would have found it flattering if I were some kind of noble or a respected wizard, but unfortunately, in this world, I’m just an ordinary citizen…

Yes, it wouldn’t look good for an ordinary citizen to be addressed as “san” by a noble girl like her… not good at all.

Seriously… what a crazy girl…

“‘San’… you don’t like ‘san’…? Then how about ‘sama’?!”

“What?”

My mind short-circuited immediately upon hearing that outrageous suggestion. Sama? Did she seriously just upgrade to “sama” like it was the most natural progression?

Elizabeth giggled softly, clearly amused by my bewildered expression.

“Your mother told me that all men like to be called ‘sama’… she said it increases… what did she call it… libido… yes, libido!”

“What the fuck…”

If I’d had anything in my mouth at that moment, I’d have sprayed it everywhere in classic comedic fashion. What the hell was my mother thinking, teaching things like that to a kid our age?!

I knew my mother could be quirky, but corrupting Elizabeth, who was barely ten years old, was pushing things too far even by her standards.

Seriously, what the hell was she thinking…

“Forget it… seriously… never call me ‘san’ again, much less ‘sama’.”

“Why?”

She tilted her head innocently, her wide eyes filled with genuine confusion.

“That’s wrong… very wrong, and you’re not old enough to know why.”

“We’re exactly the same age… and how can I not know⁉️”

Elizabeth protested with an indignation that almost made her seem adorable.

Almost.

“You’re still a child…”

I insisted stubbornly, though my resolve was weakening rapidly under her relentless stare.

“If I am, you are too… and another thing…”

She suddenly leaned closer, eyes gleaming mischievously, and whispered conspiratorially as if sharing a great secret.

“Your mother even told me that your father likes being called that when it’s just the two of them…”

“What? Stop…! I don’t want or need to know about my parents’ intimacy…”

I squeezed my eyes shut, desperately trying to erase that mental image before it scarred me for life. Why was I being subjected to this torture first thing in the morning?

“See… you’re the child here… little child…”

Elizabeth giggled triumphantly, her voice dripping with smugness.

I couldn’t even argue. My hand found its way onto my head automatically, rubbing my temples as if it could somehow soothe the intense headache forming there.

I knew my mother had a tendency to be energetic and mischievous, but corrupting a ten-year-old noble girl was definitely crossing the line—even for her.

At least, that’s what I thought.

But honestly, what do I know? Maybe this kind of absurd conversation was normal among women. I’ve never properly interacted with them… so I couldn’t say for sure… all I had to rely on was my questionable common sense…

Elizabeth, seemingly oblivious to my spiraling thoughts, casually delivered yet another shocking revelation with a cheerful innocence that bordered on cruelty.

“Ah… she also told me that when we grow up I should start calling you Master Eksu in intimate moments…”

“What the fuck⁉️”

【Siegfried PoV】

After the locals partied with me for about hours I finally woke up…

They had left me at an inn… a very clean inn by the way, I have nothing to complain about…

But back to the main topic… Eksu.

I want… no… I need to meet him… but… I can’t possibly meet him when he’s with Elizabeth…

My fight with the monster showed me that even if it’s just a little bit I still have some trace of my plot-armor… and as you saw, it works to an absurd level.

That absurd display of resilience was a rare reminder that fate occasionally grants me these tiny perks—tiny miracles that keep me stumbling through this cursed narrative, even if they’re barely enough to save me from another untimely death.

If I meet Elizabeth I’ll be changing the original story and well… the last thing I need is that. Every deviation could unravel the delicate balance of my endless loop.

So I need to get these two together… Elizabeth and Eksu… at least get them together before they’re old enough to enter the academy. The sooner their romance ignites, the more tightly the narrative is locked—and that leaves me safely in the background.

If they enter the academy with a romance already underway… my god… it would be perfect… I need that to happen. A preordained love story would force the narrative to focus on them, sidelining my perpetual misery.

Well… the world can force a netori drama… but I just have to keep supporting the couple and things will go well. I may be doomed to suffer, but as long as I play the loyal friend, the chaos might just work in my favor.

Eksu and Elizabeth are dating, then I can get Lilith to join the harem… the three of them make a beautiful couple… this world forgets about me and lets me marry a normal girl…

Everyone is happy…

Eksu may suffer a little… but hey, he’s going to have a harem, man, I’m a great friend, a harem of crazy women is still a harem… 

…

..

.

Fine…

…It doesn’t matter… because in the end I’ll be fine…