Chapter 58: A Romance Rivalry (Scientific Method)

【Elizabeth PoV】

Lilith was making her move.

I’d watched her blow up that bridge, watched her measure Eksu’s pulse like he was some kind of laboratory experiment instead of a person. She approached romance like it was a science project, all cold calculation and hypothesis testing without any actual emotion behind it.

That wasn’t how you won someone’s heart.

You won through strength, through proving your worth as a partner who could protect and provide. My mother had explained this to me extensively—the way to a man’s heart was through demonstrating your capability as a warrior and future spouse.

I would not lose to test tubes and data points.

The Hydra emerged from the dark water ahead, its seven heads rising like serpents made of nightmares. Each head was the size of a horse, scales glistening black and green in the dim dungeon light. Venom dripped from fangs as long as my forearm, sizzling where it hit the stone floor.

Perfect.

“Stay back.”

I drew my sword, the blade singing as it left the sheath. The sound echoed through the chamber, pure and clear like a bell announcing violence.

Eksu opened his mouth to protest but I was already moving.

The first head lunged, jaws snapping toward me with speed that would’ve torn a normal person in half. I sidestepped, my blade flashing in a perfect arc that caught the Hydra just below its skull. The cut was clean, surgical, passing through scale and bone like they were made of paper.

The head hit the ground with a wet thump.

Blood sprayed in a fountain of dark green ichor that smelled like rotten eggs and regret.

“Elizabeth, what are you—”

Eksu’s voice cut off as the second and third heads attacked simultaneously. I spun between them, my footwork precise and practiced. Two more strikes, two more heads rolling across the blood-slicked floor.

The remaining four heads shrieked in rage and pain.

I smiled.

This was what I was good at, what I’d trained for my entire life. Not psychology experiments or scientific method, but pure martial skill refined through countless hours of practice and actual combat experience.

The Hydra’s body thrashed, its massive tail sweeping toward me in a desperate attack. I leaped over it, using the momentum to drive my blade through the fourth head’s eye socket and straight into its brain. Another head down.

Three left.

My muscles burned with exertion, my breathing came fast but controlled. Sweat dripped down my face, stinging my eyes, but I didn’t slow down. Couldn’t slow down because Lilith was watching and I needed to prove that I was the superior choice.

The fifth head tried to circle behind me.

I anticipated the move, dropping low and sweeping my blade in a horizontal slash that caught it mid-lunge. The head separated from the neck with a spray of blood that painted the walls.

Two more.

The remaining heads hesitated, some primal survival instinct finally kicking in despite their bestial nature. They backed away, hissing and spitting venom that bubbled on the stone floor.

I didn’t give them time to think.

I charged forward, blade high, and brought it down in two quick successive strikes that ended the fight. The final heads hit the ground, the Hydra’s massive body collapsing in a heap of scales and death.

Silence filled the chamber except for my breathing and the drip of blood from my sword.

I turned to face Eksu, who stood there with his mouth hanging open in what I hoped was admiration and not horror. His defense shimmered around him, probably activated automatically when the fight started, but he hadn’t needed it because I’d handled everything.

That was the point.

I grabbed the nearest Hydra head by its horn, dragging it across the floor toward him. The thing weighed probably fifty pounds and left a trail of blood, but I refused to show any strain. I went back for the others, piling all seven severed heads at Eksu’s feet like an offering at an altar.

“For you, darling.”

I kept my voice steady despite my racing heart.

“Trophies for your collection.”

【Lilith PoV】

Organic matter was a primitive gift.

I watched Elizabeth present her bloody trophies with all the subtlety of a caveman bringing home a mammoth carcass. Yes, she’d demonstrated combat proficiency, but what was Eksu supposed to do with seven severed Hydra heads? Mount them on his wall? Use them as decorative planters?

The approach lacked sophistication and practical application.

I knelt beside the pooling blood, pulling out several glass vials from my coat pocket. The ichor was still fresh, the cellular structure intact and viable for analysis. I collected samples from each head, noting the slight variations in viscosity and color.

Fascinating.

Hydra blood contained regenerative properties, elevated levels of a compound similar to adrenaline, and trace amounts of a neurotoxin that caused paralysis in most humanoid species. With proper refinement and synthesis, this could be weaponized or converted into a performance enhancing substance.

I worked quickly, mixing samples in different ratios and adding catalysts from my portable chemistry set. The liquids changed color as they interacted, swirling from dark green to bright blue to finally settling on a vibrant neon yellow that glowed with its own internal light.

Perfect.

I held the vial up to the torch light, examining the consistency. It was slightly thicker than water, viscous enough to coat the throat on the way down but not so thick it would be difficult to swallow. The glow pulsed gently, like a heartbeat captured in liquid form.

“Eksu.”

I stood and approached him, holding the vial out with both hands like a sacred offering.

“Drink this.”

He looked at the glowing liquid with understandable suspicion, his eyes darting between the vial and my face.

“What is it?”

“A performance enhancement serum synthesized from Hydra blood, adrenal compounds, and a stabilizing agent I developed myself.”

I kept my voice clinical and informative.

“It will increase your muscle mass by approximately two hundred percent, enhance your reflexes, boost your stamina, and potentially stop your heart if the dosage is incorrect. Ideally both effects will manifest.”

“Both?”

“Increased muscle mass and cardiac arrest. It would represent the ultimate buff—temporary superhuman capabilities before inevitable death.”

I said it matter-of-factly because the science was sound even if the survival rate was questionable.

“The data would be invaluable.”

Eksu stared at me like I’d just suggested he jump off another bridge.

“You want me to drink something that might kill me.”

“The probability is only forty-seven percent. Much better odds than the bridge experiment.”

I smiled encouragingly.

“And your 【Absolute Defense】 should filter out the lethal components while retaining the beneficial effects. Theoretically.”

【Eksu PoV】

They were both staring at me with identical expressions of expectation.

Elizabeth stood surrounded by seven severed Hydra heads, her sword still dripping blood, looking like she’d just won a particularly violent talent show. Her eyes shone with pride and something intense that made my skin crawl in a way that had nothing to do with the corpses.

Lilith held out a vial of glowing neon liquid that she’d literally just admitted might kill me, her face completely serious like offering someone poison was a normal romantic gesture.

This was my life now.

“Eksu, buddy, friend, please don’t drink the death potion.”

Siegfried appeared from wherever he’d been hiding during the Hydra fight, his face pale and his voice cracking with desperation.

“That seems like really bad idea, no cap, legitimately the worst decision you could make right now.”

He grabbed my arm, his grip surprisingly strong for someone who looked like he was about to pass out from stress.

“They’re both insane. Just say no. Use your words.”

But I couldn’t just say no.

Elizabeth had just killed a Hydra for me, had risked her life fighting a monster that would’ve torn most people apart. Refusing her gift would be incredibly rude and would probably result in her either crying or trying to fight me again.

And Lilith had spent time and effort creating something specifically for me, even if that something was potentially lethal. She’d used scientific method and analysis, had put thought into the gift even if the thought process was deeply concerning.

Rejecting both of them felt wrong.

Plus they were both staring at me with increasing intensity, the air growing thick with tension that made my danger sense tingle.

“I appreciate both gifts.”

I grabbed the nearest Hydra head by its horn, trying not to gag at the texture.

“These will look great in my, uh, trophy room.”

I didn’t have a trophy room.

I opened my inventory screen and dragged the heads into it one by one, watching them disappear into the digital void. Technically I was just deleting them into the inventory’s trash function, but neither girl needed to know that.

“And the potion—”

“Serum.”

Lilith corrected me primly.

“Right, the serum looks really well made. Very glowy. Professional.”

I took the vial from her hands, feeling the warmth of the liquid through the glass.

Siegfried made a strangled noise beside me.

“Eksu, no, this is how protagonist stories end badly, with poison and bad life choices and—”

I uncorked the vial and downed it in one shot before I could overthink the decision.

The liquid burned going down, tasting like battery acid mixed with orange juice and regret. It hit my stomach like a fireball, spreading heat through my entire body. For a second I thought Lilith had been right about the cardiac arrest part because my heart definitely stuttered.

Then my 【Absolute Defense】 kicked in.

The defensive barrier activated internally, filtering through whatever compounds were trying to kill me and neutralizing them instantly. The burning sensation faded, replaced by a pleasant coolness. The dangerous chemicals got broken down into harmless components, and what remained tasted suspiciously like pure water.

I felt completely normal.

Maybe slightly hydrated.

“How do you feel?”

Lilith leaned in close, her eyes studying my face with scientific intensity.

“Any muscle growth? Increased strength? Impending death?”

“I feel fine. Good, actually. Little thirsty before but not anymore.”

Elizabeth stepped closer too, her expression shifting from competitive to pleased.

“You accepted both our gifts. You didn’t choose between us.”

“That’s very wise, darling. Very diplomatic.”

Her smile was warm and genuine and way more terrifying than the Hydra had been.

Lilith nodded slowly, like I’d just confirmed a hypothesis.

“Equal distribution of attention. This suggests you’re considering both romantic options simultaneously. Fascinating.”

“What? No, I just didn’t want to be rude—”

“He wants a harem.”

Siegfried’s voice came out as a broken whisper, his face white as a sheet.

“Oh my god, he’s going full harem protagonist. This is how it starts. This is literally how every harem story begins.”

“I just wanted a drink!”

My voice cracked with frustration.

“The potion—serum—whatever—tasted like water after my defense filtered it. I was thirsty from walking through the dungeon. That’s it. That’s the entire story.”

But nobody was listening to me.

Elizabeth and Lilith exchanged a look that somehow communicated an entire conversation without words. Some kind of silent female communication that transcended language and went straight to pure intention.

“If Eksu desires multiple partners, we should establish hierarchy.”

Lilith pulled out her notebook, already writing.

“I propose a systematic approach to determining primary and secondary wife positions.”

“Unacceptable. We fight for the position.”

Elizabeth’s hand went to her sword.

“No!”

I grabbed both their arms before this could escalate into another bridge situation.

“Nobody is fighting. There are no wife positions. No hierarchy. No harem. I’m literally just trying to survive this dungeon and get home without dying.”

Siegfried was crying now, actual tears streaming down his face as he watched the scene unfold.

“This is my fault. I orchestrated this. I brought them together and now he’s suffering and I’m a terrible person.”

He collapsed against the wall, sliding down into a sitting position.

“The transfer system is at twenty percent. Only twenty percent. I can’t take eighty more percent of this.”

I looked between the two girls who were still staring at me with that intense expression, at Siegfried having an existential crisis on the floor, at the Hydra corpse bleeding out across the chamber.

This was fine.

Everything was fine.

I just needed to get through this dungeon, get home, and maybe fake my own death so I could start a new life somewhere far away from all of this.

Somewhere quiet.

Somewhere without yandere girls or suspension bridge effects or glowing poison drinks.

But looking at their faces—Elizabeth’s fierce determination and Lilith’s calculating interest—I knew that somewhere didn’t exist.

Not anymore.