Chapter 52: Hypothesis – Love is a Chemical Warfare

【Lilith PoV】

Science solves everything.

I stand in my private laboratory, the one hidden behind the false bookshelf in my dormitory. Beakers bubble on burners, formulaic diagrams cover the walls in my precise handwriting, and the scent of chemical compounds mingles with something sweeter—chocolate. My lab coat swirls as I pivot toward my workstation, where rows of vials shimmer under candlelight. Each one contains a hypothesis, a theory, a solution.

The problem is Elizabeth.

She monopolizes Eksu’s time with brute force and aggressive social strategies that defy all logic. My observational data proves she spends approximately 73% of Eksu’s waking hours within a two-meter radius of him. This is unacceptable. If I cannot gather data on Eksu in isolation, my research on the phenomenon known as “romantic attraction” will remain incomplete.

I must neutralize the variable.

My fingers trace the edge of a crystalline vial filled with pale purple liquid. The label reads “Compound 47-B: Minor Clumsiness Inducer.” The name is a deliberate obfuscation. In reality, this is a high-grade paralytic agent, carefully calibrated to incapacitate a target for approximately four hours without permanent damage. The dosage is perfect, the delivery method flawless.

I will bake them into cookies.

Chocolate chip cookies, to be precise. The sweetness will mask the bitter alkaloid undertones, and the texture will disguise any crystalline inconsistencies. Elizabeth has demonstrated a preference for baked goods on seven separate occasions. The probability of consumption is 94.6%.

I pour the compound into melted chocolate, stirring with methodical precision.

Once Elizabeth ingests these, she will be removed from the equation temporarily. Her motor functions will cease, forcing her to retreat to the infirmary. I will have uninterrupted time with Eksu. I will observe his behavioral patterns, collect verbal data, perhaps even conduct field research on physical proximity tolerance.

This is not malice.

This is strategic romance.

I slide the tray of cookies into the oven, watching through the glass as they begin to bake. The scent of chocolate fills the laboratory, warm and deceptively innocent. My heart rate elevates slightly—anticipation, not nervousness. Scientists do not feel nervous. We feel excited about experimental outcomes.

Twenty minutes later, I remove the tray.

The cookies are perfect, golden-brown with visible chocolate chips. I arrange them carefully in a wicker basket lined with checkered cloth. The presentation must appear casual, friendly, nonthreatening. I have studied the social dynamics of “sharing food” extensively. It is a bonding ritual among humans, designed to establish trust and camaraderie.

I am weaponizing that trust.

I slip out of my laboratory, basket in hand, my lab coat still on because it makes me feel powerful. The hallways are quiet, most students already in the library for afternoon study sessions. Perfect. My hypothesis requires witnesses to establish an alibi but not so many that intervention becomes likely.

I push open the library doors.

【Eksu PoV】

I just want to study in peace.

The library is supposed to be my sanctuary, the one place where Elizabeth’s surprise attacks are technically banned because the librarian is terrifying. I claim a table near the back, far from windows and doors, where I can see anyone approaching. My textbook on Advanced Defensive Theory lies open in front of me, but my brain refuses to absorb the words.

I’m hungry.

My stomach growls loud enough that the girl two tables over glances up with an annoyed expression. I didn’t eat lunch because Elizabeth dragged me into some ridiculous training exercise that involved dodging her “affectionate” punches. Now my body is staging a rebellion, demanding carbohydrates immediately.

I should have brought snacks.

The library door creaks open and Lilith walks in, wearing her lab coat like some kind of mad scientist uniform. She’s carrying a basket. My stomach perks up with interest, recognizing the shape of that basket as the universal symbol of baked goods.

Please be food, please be food.

Lilith’s eyes scan the room with predatory focus. They land on Elizabeth, who sits three tables away, surrounded by books on combat techniques. Lilith’s expression shifts into something calculating and cold, like she’s solving a complex equation in her head. Then she walks toward our general area, her steps measured and deliberate.

“Good afternoon, everyone.”

Her voice is too cheerful, like someone imitating human emotion based on textbook descriptions. She lifts the cloth covering the basket, revealing chocolate chip cookies that look absolutely perfect. My mouth waters instantly.

“I baked these for my friends.”

Elizabeth looks up from her book, eyes narrowing with suspicion.

“I don’t eat food from strangers.”

Lilith’s smile doesn’t falter but her grip on the basket handle tightens.

“We are not strangers, Elizabeth-san. We attend the same academy.”

“Still not eating them.”

Elizabeth returns to her book like Lilith doesn’t exist, which honestly is the most brutal dismissal I’ve seen all week. Lilith stands there, frozen, her entire plan apparently collapsing in real-time. Her eye twitches slightly—a rare break in her composed exterior.

I feel kind of bad for her.

Also, I’m starving and those cookies look incredible.

I stand up and walk over, my stomach making executive decisions before my brain can intervene.

“Hey, Lilith, can I have one?”

She turns to me, her expression shifting from cold calculation to something vulnerable and surprised. Her lips part slightly, eyes widening as if I’d just proposed marriage instead of asking for a cookie.

“You… you want one?”

“Yeah, I’m really hungry. They look great.”

She extends the basket toward me with trembling hands, like she’s offering something sacred instead of baked goods. I grab a cookie, noting how warm it still is. The chocolate chips glisten temptingly.

I take a bite.

The taste hits me immediately—chocolate, butter, sugar, and something underneath that tastes like battery acid mixed with grape soda and regret. My 【Absolute Defense】 activates instinctively, a subtle warmth spreading through my chest as it neutralizes whatever chemical compound Lilith baked into these things.

Oh.

Oh no.

These were meant for Elizabeth.

Lilith tried to poison Elizabeth and I just ate the evidence. My brain scrambles for the appropriate social response while my defense system calmly dismantles what was probably a paralytic agent. The cookie itself is actually pretty good once you remove the attempted murder component.

I smile politely, chewing and swallowing.

“Thanks, it’s crunchy. Really good.”

Lilith’s eyes fill with tears.

Wait, what?

She clutches the basket to her chest, her entire body trembling. A single tear rolls down her cheek, catching the afternoon light streaming through the library windows. Her breathing becomes uneven, like she’s trying not to sob.

“You ate it.”

Her voice cracks with raw emotion.

“Yeah? It’s good.”

Another tear falls.

“You ate it knowing what it was.”

I absolutely did not know what it was, but my defense system figured it out pretty quick. I have no idea what’s happening right now. Why is she crying? Did I do something wrong? Is the cookie supposed to make me cry too?

“Lilith, are you okay?”

She shakes her head, tears flowing freely now. Her hands tremble so badly the basket rattles.

“You intercepted it. You knew it was meant for Elizabeth, you knew it contained Compound 47-B, and you consumed it anyway to protect her.”

Oh god, she thinks I’m noble.

“That’s the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for me.”

Wait, what? How is this romantic? I just wanted a cookie!

“Eksu-kun, you willingly ingested poison to prevent my plan from succeeding. You chose righteousness over self-preservation. You demonstrated that your moral code supersedes even your own safety.”

She’s fully crying now, tears streaming down her face while other students stare at us. Elizabeth has looked up from her book, watching this scene unfold with confused fascination.

“I have never witnessed such pure altruism. Such selfless devotion to protecting others, even those who would harm you. This is love. This must be love.”

This is a misunderstanding of catastrophic proportions.

I open my mouth to explain that I just have really good poison resistance and was hungry, but Lilith drops the basket and grabs both my hands. Her eyes are red and swollen, her expression desperate and adoring.

“I was wrong to use chemical warfare. You have taught me that love cannot be achieved through strategic malice. It must be earned through genuine connection and moral integrity.”

Several students have pulled out notebooks, taking notes on what they probably think is the most romantic confession in academy history.

“Lilith, I think there’s been a—”

“I will abandon my experiments. I will pursue you through honest means. I will study the nature of affection not as a scientist but as a woman in love.”

Oh no.

“Thank you, Eksu-kun. Thank you for showing me the error of my methodology.”

She releases my hands and runs out of the library, still crying, leaving the basket of poisoned cookies behind. The remaining students burst into applause like I just performed a heroic deed instead of accidentally eating attempted murder.

Elizabeth stands and walks over, arms crossed.

“What just happened?”

I stare at the basket, then at the library door, then at the cookie still in my hand.

“I have no idea.”

She picks up a cookie, sniffs it, and her eyes widen.

“This has Moonshadow Extract in it. That’s a restricted paralytic compound.”

“Yeah, my defense neutralized it.”

Elizabeth’s expression shifts from confusion to something resembling respect.

“You ate poison meant for me.”

“I was hungry.”

“That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.”

She’s probably right, but my stomach is finally quiet so I’m calling this a win. Elizabeth sits down at my table, pulling her combat technique books with her. She doesn’t say anything else, but she sits closer than usual, her shoulder almost touching mine.

I finish the cookie, poison and all.

Somewhere in the distance, I swear I hear Lilith laughing maniacally in her laboratory, probably already designing new “honest” approaches to winning my affection. My life has become a series of increasingly absurd romantic complications, and I genuinely just wanted to study defensive theory and maybe eat lunch.

I glance at the basket of remaining poisoned cookies.

At least I’m not hungry anymore.

The library settles back into quiet study, but I can feel Elizabeth’s presence beside me like a warm shield, and somewhere out there, Lilith is crying tears of joy over a misunderstanding that will probably haunt me for months.

Love is chemical warfare, apparently.

And I’m the accidental casualty who keeps surviving.