My Sex Friend Is My Childhood Friend? - 54-55

Chapter 54: Missing Each Other

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I thought as the ambulance rocked back and forth. The man I saw at the supermarket on the night of the fireworks… That man must be really Mimura-senpai

I’d known something felt off. If I had spoken to him then, could Senpai’s “current state” have turned out differently? Those were the thoughts going through my head as we arrived at the hospital. Senpai was carried out like an object.

After waiting for a while in the lobby, a doctor called us in and informed us that Senpai had passed away. Aoi broke down in tears right then and there. Her sobs felt like blades—screams lashing out against herself.

While we were waiting, we were able to get in touch with Aoi’s parents. They said they were heading to the airport and would take the earliest flight back. At the soonest, they’d return home by tomorrow night.

I checked my watch. The hands had already passed 10 p.m.

Mahiru…

Had I left her standing alone in front of the station? I was the one who wrote, “I’ll be waiting no matter what,” and yet I wasn’t even there.

What must she have felt, waiting for me like that? I’m sorry.

Still, I couldn’t abandon Aoi in this situation. I owed Senpai so much and hadn’t repaid him in any way and now, I had lost that chance forever. Tomorrow, I’d also need to go to the police and explain the circumstances. There would be an autopsy and funeral arrangements to handle as well.

Until Aoi’s parents returned, I wanted to help with whatever I could. I wanted to ease even a little of Aoi’s pain. I took her home.

Since the hospital was a bit far from her house, we got a taxi. Aoi had calmed down a little, enough that we could manage a conversation. With tomorrow in mind, I decided to ask her about Senpai.

Aoi kept her head down, holding a diamond-shaped keychain in her hand. That was the one we had pulled from a gacha together long ago. It was of my favorite character, and I’d kind of forced it on him.

Senpai… He’d kept it all this time with him.

Aoi kept shifting the keychain in her hands, then finally began to speak in halting sentences.

“Onii… My big brother got a job at a major company after high school—the kind everyone envies. But the reality was, it was a total black company. Still, because my parents and I were so proud of him, he couldn’t just quit right away. He pushed himself too far… And ended up developing a mental illness.”

After that, Senpai barely went out at all. She said he lost interest in everything except for games and anime. Still looking down, Aoi continued.

“I… I’ve been a big-time Onii-chan girl since I was little. So I couldn’t accept what he’d become. I wanted him to go back to being the cool big brother he used to be…”

But she seemed to regret it now, thinking that maybe she had pushed him too far. After saying that much, Aoi wiped her eyes and began to tremble again… And then she started crying. That must have been why she never wanted to talk about her brother before.

I brought Aoi back to her house. When I looked at my watch, it was already past midnight. There was no way Mahiru would still be there now.

And yet…

I headed to the meeting spot anyway. I arrived at the station. The crowds had thinned, barely anyone was around. I knew she wouldn’t be there. Still, I couldn’t help but look around, restless, unable to accept it.

But Mahiru was nowhere to be seen. Had she even come at all? Then I remembered the message board at the station and walked over to check. There, I found a handwritten note left by Mahiru.

『I don’t think I’ll ever see you again. – Maya』

I held my head in my hands.

Hah… Yeah. That figures…

All I could do was laugh at the crushing despair.

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Chapter 55: The Last Thing Seen

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I stood frozen at the station.

I guess we won’t see each other again, huh…

It really was over. Maybe I had no choice but to go to America now. Tomorrow, I had to help Aoi again.

I need to get some sleep.

I started walking home with heavy steps. Then, a message came in from Aoi.

『Is there any point in me being alive? I don’t know what to do. Nagi-san, please find me.』

What the… Is she okay? She wouldn’t try to take her own life, would she?

A horrible premonition filled my chest. I headed straight back to Aoi’s house. I rang the intercom, but there was no answer. The door was unlocked, so I let myself in.

Inside was completely dark and silent. Too silent. I ran up to the second floor.

Right room? Or left room?

I went into the right room. In the dim light, snacks and plastic bottles were scattered everywhere, and the TV was left on. I knew immediately. This was Senpai’s room. I turned around and went to the left room.

In that instant, glancing into the cluttered room, a thought crossed my mind:

On his final day, what did Senpai’s eyes see in that room?

I opened the door to the left room. It was pitch black. But I heard the sound of someone softly sobbing. Aoi was curled up under a blanket on the bed, without even turning on the light. I felt relieved that I wasn’t greeted with the worst-case scenario.

She’s alive. Thank god.

When she noticed me, Aoi clung to me. Crying like a child, she said to me.

“At the end, Onii-chan was just staring blankly at the TV. He didn’t say anything, didn’t try to tell me something, just blankly watched. I was too oblivious. I didn’t realize how much he was hurting. That’s why…”

I couldn’t understand it completely. What was Senpai thinking? But I felt that maybe, by the time Aoi saw him, he had already made up his mind. Because he had already decided, he didn’t struggle or ask for help.

There’s no way anyone could tell from the outside.

Still, I wanted to believe Senpai was thinking about the future in his final moments. The future of his family, Aoi’s future. He must be wishing for their happiness, even if he couldn’t be there to see it. If it was the Senpai I knew, even at the edge, he would have thought that way.

But even so, he chose to leave. 

“I’m sorry.”

That must have been what he thought.

Aoi pressed her face to my neck.

“I know it’s totally inappropriate of me to do this, but I’m going to lose my mind if I’m alone. Just for tonight, I want to be special to you, Nagi-san…”

Saying that, Aoi pulled down her jersey pants and underwear together. Then she climbed onto me on all fours, trying to kiss me.

I… I probably had no future with Mahiru anymore. Being alone scared me too. I wanted to escape the anxiety of never seeing Mahiru again. That impulse washed over me.

Maybe it’d be easier if I slept with this girl and dated her. Maybe if I got attached to Aoi, this feeling would fade.

She had the looks, the body, the personality. She was Senpai’s little sister. I could trust her. No—honestly, she was probably too good for me. The image of that room with the TV still on flashed in my mind.

But…

I held Aoi’s shoulders and pulled her into an embrace. Then I gently pushed her back a bit and spoke. It wasn’t to look cool. It was how I truly felt. Ugly, honest feelings.

“I want to be with you tonight, Aoi. But… I’m sorry. I can’t do that right now. I have someone I like, and doing this now would be unfair to her, to Senpai, and to you. I’m sorry.”

Aoi looked sad as she tightly gripped the front of my shirt. Then, pulling her upper body back, she said.

“…You’re right. I’m sorry. I’m awful for doing this at a time like this.”

I shook my head. I didn’t think she was awful.

When a huge hole opens in your heart, wanting to fill it with something else is only natural. Maybe someday I might end up dating Aoi, but it shouldn’t start like this.

I said nothing and gently patted her head. Then I made us coffee, and we drank it together. We sat side by side on the sofa in the living room, sipping our coffee.

Eventually, Aoi calmed down a little.

In the morning, I explained everything to the police, and they agreed to wait for the rest of the procedures until her parents returned. By evening, Aoi’s parents came back. I greeted them and left Aoi in their care.

I didn’t think I had to worry about Aoi taking her own life anymore. Her parents bowed to me over and over again. But if anyone should be saying thank you, it was me.

Senpai was the one who saved my life. If I hadn’t met him, I don’t know what would have happened to me. Maybe that was why my tension finally broke. Remembering Senpai’s room, wondering what he felt living there for years, I couldn’t stop crying.

It was pathetic, but I wept. As I was about to leave through the front door, Aoi came running after me.

“Nagi-san, thank you. You had something important to do, didn’t you? I’m sorry.”

I patted Aoi on the head. Then she added.

“Oh yeah. Remember that gothic lolita-style outfit from that day? That was Onii-chan’s advice. I told him I met you. That you helped me. He looked so happy. I hadn’t seen him smile like that in so long. Then he said, ‘If it’s a date, you should wear that outfit.’”

Hearing that, I cried again.

So Senpai was happy… I’m glad.

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