My Popular-as-Hell Best Friend Is Annoying, So I Want to Get Him a Girlfriend and Shut Him Up - Chapter 53 & 54 & 55

T/N: Btw the previous chapter shhould’ve been Chapter 50 51 and 52, I accidentally skipped chapter 50 on the chapter naming, sorry!

Chapter 53: Pubescent Idiots

I might be witnessing a historic moment at Yourei High.

Depending on our class’s vote, sepak takraw could be chosen as a sports event for the first time in 25 years (?). There’s no hotter development than this.

“Hey, Uryu, sepak takraw’s on the list!”

“No way, idiot.”

Dismissing my opinion flat-out, Uryu walks toward the podium to organize the boys.

He gathers the boys by the windows to discuss the sports event.

“Raise your hand for your first choice. I’m not deciding yet, so keep it chill.”

Looks like he’s gauging the popular picks first, prioritizing consensus over raw votes. Not a bad plan.

But Uryu, I won’t forgive your disrespect. To ruthlessly discard sepak takraw, a legendary option? That attitude’s gonna bite you back. Know what I’m saying?

Sepak takraw’s about to steal the spotlight right here, right now!!

“Sepak takraw’s got one vote.”

“No way!”

The teacher’s pet option, sepak takraw, is cruelly buried alongside my lone raised arm.

What’s wrong with these guys? Choosing fleeting fun over a legend? Damn it, what’s so great about that…

Sorry, Sepa-sama, it’s my fault for being too weak…

“In the first place, what’s sepak takraw? A sport?”

“Someone asked that last year too. It’s like soccer-volleyball, right?”

“Then just call it soccer-volleyball. Why ‘sepak takraw’?”

“’Cause some guy named Takraw invented it, probably.”

“Could be.”

Tch…! They’re trashing it! I want to fight back, but my shallow knowledge of sepak takraw might just widen Sepa-sama’s wounds. It sucks, but the best thing for Sepa-sama is to let the legend rest and move on.

“…Uryu, next one.”

“What, no more opinions?”

“Nah, as long as I know Sepa-sama’s greatness, that’s enough.”

“Sepa… sama?”

Gazing at the clear sky through the window, I feel the world’s cruelty.

Another year passes like this. Sepak takraw! Be eternal!!

“Soccer got seven votes, basketball six. Highest so far.”

While I’m mourning sepak takraw, the tally’s apparently done.

Hold up, seven for soccer? That’s bad—soccer means I can’t slack off.

“Uryu, how many players for soccer?”

“With 20 guys per class, split into two teams, it’s 10-on-10.”

As expected, soccer’s low match count and all-in participation leave no room to escape. Playing soccer in June’s heat? That’s torture. I gotta push another sport.

Second place is basketball with six votes. Five players per team, but are we making four teams?

“Uryu, how many teams for basketball?”

“You could make four, but we can’t fit that in a day, so three teams per class. Six or seven per team, rotating in.”

That’s it!! Basketball’s 5-on-5. I can slack without causing a shortage. Volleyball needs six per team, forcing me to play, so basketball’s the safest bet!!

The sports festival event is settled in my mind, but the discussion’s veering the wrong way.

“Ugh, we did basketball last year. Let’s pick something else.”

“But with Aoyagi, basketball gives us a shot at winning.”

“Nah, Aoyagi’d kill it in any sport. Doesn’t have to be basketball.”

Crap. This vibe’s tilting toward soccer.

The “Aoyagi wins” argument got shot down, and I was banking on that for basketball. No backup plan yet.

“Izumo-san, how’s the girls’ side going?”

“Almost wrapped up, I think.”

“Got it, thanks. We should wrap up too.”

Hey, Uryu, who cares about the girls’ progress? We just need to finish by first period—why sync with them?

…Wait, that’s it!

I step out of the boys’ huddle and sidle up to Misono Izumo, who’s overseeing the girls’ discussion.

“Hey, got a question.”

“What’s with you all of a sudden?”

“What’s the girls’ event looking like?”

Izumo frowns, clearly annoyed, but seems willing to answer.

“We’re debating softball and basketball, but it’s leaning toward basketball—”

“Really?! For real?!”

Jackpot. I grab Izumo’s hands to share my excitement.

“W-Wait, what…!”

“In sickness and in health, will you swear to go with basketball?!”

“I swear, I swear! Just let go!”

“That’s all I needed.”

I release a red-faced Izumo and rush back to the boys’ circle.

Before soccer wins, I’ve gotta sway these guys.

“Listen up, everyone!”

My shout draws all eyes. They’re waiting for my words, but I can’t match names to faces. Who are these guys?

“I just checked on the girls’ event. They’re set on basketball.”

“So what?”

“Dumbasses, you haven’t realized soccer’s a bad move.”

“What? What’s that mean?”

As the boys tilt their heads, I lower my voice to drop the bombshell.

“The girls probably won’t be able to cheer us on, you know?.”

At that moment, half the boys freeze, with dead serious expressions on their faces. Either they don’t get it, or they do and know it’s bad.

Either way, this is my chance—I push harder.

“Since the guys will be playing outside, while the girls will be playing inside. You think they’ll come cheer us in the blazing heat? The field and gym are pretty far apart. I wouldn’t bother going either—too much hassle.”

“…”

“But basketball? The first and second gyms are connected by a hallway—easy to hop between matches. Plus, it’s the same sport as the girls. Joint practice could, you know, bring you closer with some of the girls.”

“……”

My strategy—“make them hyper-aware of the girls”—works better than expected. The boys exchange awkward glances, then nod in unison, as if the prior debate never happened.

“Basketball it is.”

“Yeah, we can’t do anything else but basketball.”

“Was there ever another option?”

“Nope. We’re basketball lifers.”

“Exactly.”

Heh heh heh, too fun. Manipulating people like this is a blast. Pubescent idiots—dangle girls in front of them, and they flip in a heartbeat.

“Yukiya, you picked basketball after hearing the team sizes, didn’t you?”

Uryu, stunned by the mess, corners me, the instigator.

“You’re totally planning to slack, aren’t you?”

“Duh. Why else would I take the lead?”

“Ugh this guy, can’t you make proper use of your crowd-control skills?”

“Crowd-control’s not for doing proper stuff. Anyway, we’re on the same team, got it? Cover for me when I’m out.”

“…All I’ve got left is sighs.”

Uryu slumps, a hand on his forehead.

Haha, Uryu, you get it now? This is the curse of sepak takraw.

Chapter 54: Lively Lunch Break

Having wrapped up the morning’s sports event decision and slogged through morning classes, Uryu and I head to the cafeteria together.

“Uryu, you sure about not eating lunch with your friends?”

“You’re saying that as if we’re not friends.”

“Obviously. We’re just desk neighbors.”

“Since second term of first year.”

“Seriously… how long are you gonna stalk me…?”

“Come on, let’s get along as plain ol’ classmates.”

“Ugh, such a hassle…”

I usually try to eat lunch alone, but two or three times a week, Uryu tags along. When he does, girls assume we’re tight, and I get pestered to play matchmaker for him. It’s not that bad now, but in first year, it was insufferable. Can’t they just leave me alone?

※

“Ah! Yukki! Ururun!”

As if bombing my plea from all directions, a carefree voice echoes through the second-year hallway.

“Hey, you two! Free right now? Wanna grab lunch together?”

That woman who just mimicked some recent pick up line and is overly familiar is none other than Kamishiro Haruka, the grade’s top beauty with her signature chestnut ponytail.

“No, I’m good. Got some friends waiting for me.”

I brush her off with some dumb excuse and keep walking. Uryu, beside me, mutters, “You sure that’s okay?” but it’s totally fine. Avoiding clingy types is the key to a long life.

“Wait, wait, wait! Why are you so cold to me?!”

After freezing for a few seconds, Haruka scurries to my side. Persistent, huh? I clearly said I’ve got friends waiting.

“That’s just how I roll. You’re too loud to eat with.”

“What?! Yukki, you’ve been so distant since we changed classes! Back then, you were more… uh, what was it… wait, maybe not that different?”

“What’re you even saying? Stop yapping and go back to your classmates.”

“Too late! I spotted you guys before making plans with them!”

“Cool, guess it’s solo lunch for you then. Wanna bet on how many guys hit on you?”

“Why!? And I won’t even have fun with that!”

Realizing I’m a lost cause to talk to, Haruka’s gaze shifts to Uryu.

“Ururun’s cool with lunch, right?! You won’t ditch me, will you?!”

“Stop calling me Ururun, and maybe.”

“I’ll stop, I’ll stop! No more Ururun!”

“I’ve lost count of how many times you’ve said that…”

“It’s a great nickname, Ururun. Suits you.”

“Don’t you start with Ururun!”

“Ow, ow! Let go—uncle, uncle!”

Ururun hypersensitivity kicks in, and Uryu slaps me in a headlock. That’s harsh—when did kids’ tempers get so short? What a sad reality.

“Haha! You two are so close!”

“Are your eyes rotting? This brutality isn’t ‘closeness.’”

“Pretty sure you’re the only one who thinks that, Yukki.”

“Shut up. And don’t sneak along with us.”

“Oh, you noticed?”

Haruka scratches the back of her head with a wry smile. She was totally planning to follow us to the cafeteria, but no dice.

“Please! I just wanna talk about the sports festival! I swear I won’t complain! Come on!” (T/N: This sounded like, Please! I just want to have a feel of it! I swear I won’t go further! Just the tip!)

“What’s with this ‘just the tip’ vibe?”

“Just the tip?”

“Uh, never mind. No matter how I look at it, it’s far too crude to explain.”

“??”

Her pure, wide-eyed stare shuts me up. That lingering childishness is part of Haruka’s charm. How many charms does this girl have?

But seriously, how many guys could resist her pleading like this? Most would cave and join her.

Me? I’d shut her down and counterattack in a heartbeat, but this time, I can’t.

Why? Because Uryu’s here, and we’re already drawing way too much attention. His aura and Haruka’s are so blinding, I’m practically invisible in the middle.

If I brush Haruka off too hard, some idiot’s gonna get mad, like, “She’s Kamishiro-san, and you reject her?!” Get too close, and I’m hated for jealousy. Ignore her, and I’m the bad guy. What am I supposed to do? She’s got a boyfriend, so why’s she this popular?

“Ugh… do whatever.”

“It’s really okay?!”

“Not really. I said do whatever.”

“Yay! I’ll do whatever!”

Haruka beams, nodding enthusiastically. Denying her now won’t make her back off, and it’s better than her yapping and drawing more eyes. A gut-wrenching decision.

Fine. It’s a hassle, but she said she’ll stick to sports festival talk. If she’s done today, maybe she’ll leave me alone for a while. I’ll handle this with a magnanimous heart—not compromise, but strategic approval. Don’t get it twisted.

※

“Alright, two guys and one girl’s unbalanced, so I’ll call Miha-chan!”

“Huh?”

In max-hype mode, Haruka starts muttering ominous things while fiddling with her phone.

Hold up. I said do whatever, but that was about her joining lunch, not dragging in extras!

“Oh, Miha-chan says she’s free! I’ll tell her to meet us at the cafeteria!”

Before I can say a word, Haruka adds another lunch buddy. A lightning-fast move in under a minute—completely unstoppable. She’s quick, but why’s the reply so fast too?

“Hahaha, things have gotten interesting.”

“I disagree.”

Uryu, who’s been coasting on his pretty-boy pheromones, chimes in like it’s not his problem. This guy loves watching me squirm—it’s infuriating. Though, to be fair, it’s mutual.

“Yukki and lunch! Uryuryun and lunch! Miha-chan and lunch!”

The root of all evil starts humming a tune so embarrassing it makes you wanna hide, her smile 30% brighter, forcing passing guys to double-take.

“Kamishiro-san, that’s not much different from how you called me before…”

“What? I didn’t say Ururun!”

“I mean, can you rethink the nickname thing entirely?”

“Ugh, that’d make it seem like I’m not close with Uryuryun!”

“Might as well roll with that…”

“That’s mean, Uryuryun! You just said something mean!”

“You’re back to Ururun…”

Uryu’s visibly worn out from Haruka’s chatter. I’m cheering him on in my head, but knowing this’ll boomerang back to me makes me wanna bolt.

And now Tsukikage Miharu—Miha-chan—is joining us for lunch. When those two are together, they create a fluffy, chaotic vibe, and I’ve gotta brace myself to deal with it.

“It’s like I’m the only one without my actual name in the nickname.”

“Not true, there’s a ‘U’ in there!”

“If one letter’s enough, then you’d be okay with me calling you ‘Haribo’ or ‘Hamachi,’ right?”

“Ooh, cute! Uryuryun, you’ve got some sense in making nicknames!”

“…I give up.”

Listening to them, the cafeteria starts feeling like an execution platform.

God, I know I’ve prayed a lot, but please let me survive this lunch without incident.

Chapter 55: Cardigan

“Hello, all three of you!”

“Sorry, Miha-chan! Did we make you wait?”

“No, I haven’t been waiting that long.”

While listening to Uryu and Kamishiro Haruka’s conversation, we arrived at the cafeteria and lined up to buy meal vouchers.

During that time, Tsukikage Miharu arrived at the cafeteria, so we had her secure a four-person table.

She’s part of the bento group, it seems.

※

And now, we place our ordered lunches on trays and take our seats at the spot Tsukikage Miharu secured.

To my right is Uryu, across from me is Tsukikage Miharu, and diagonally in front is Kamishiro Haruka.

“It feels like it’s been a while since the four of us ate together, doesn’t it?”

“It has! Yukki finally gave me the okay!”

“That’s great, Haruka-chan.”

“Right?!”

The relaxed, silly atmosphere is instantly created.

In this space, Kamishiro Haruka’s mental age drops, while Tsukikage Miharu’s seems to rise.

It’s like they’re sisters—or even parent and child—having such a laid-back conversation that it’s hard to believe they’re in the same grade.

That’s how I perceive it.

But, man, as expected, I feel like we’re drawing a ton of attention from those around us.

I felt some stares when I was practically begging Rando-dono and Ai-chan for stuff, but this is on a whole other level.

And no wonder—three people who individually attract attention are gathered together.

Telling me not to care is an impossible request.

“Haruka-chan, you’re eating a ton as usual.”

“I’ve got club activities, so I need to store up energy! Miha-chan, you make your own bento, right?”

“Yeah. I wake up early, so I have plenty of time in the morning.”

“I wanna say that line someday! Oh, a octopus wiener! Gimme one!”

“Sure, then say ‘ahh’?”

“Ahh!”

And before I know it, a lover-like exchange unfolds right in front of me.

This kind of thing, which seems wildly popular with a certain crowd, is exactly why we’re drawing stares.

Yet both of them do it so naturally that there’s nothing to be done about it.

What kind of reaction are we, who are forced to witness this up close, supposed to have?

Should I think, like the guys around us, “S-Seriously, this is so precious!”?

Absolutely not, I refuse.

I glance to my right, but this guy is just calmly eating his lunch.

Everyone’s too damn carefree.

What’s even the point of us gathering like this?

“By the way, didn’t you want to talk about the sports festival?”

While the two girls smile at each other, Uryu suddenly brings up the topic, as if he just remembered.

Oh yeah, I think they mentioned something like that.

“Oh, right, I totally forgot!”

Kamishiro Haruka, happily munching on a wiener, makes a statement that basically undermines the entire purpose of this gathering.

If you forgot, then let’s just disband this lunch meeting already.

I can’t even eat in peace.

“This year’s sports festival has basketball for both boys and girls, but Class B made a poor choice, didn’t they?”

Kamishiro Haruka lets out a deliberately smug chuckle.

The girls have her, so they’re probably strong, but why’s she talking about the boys like that?

We’ve got Uryu here.

“Haruka-chan, what do you mean?”

“Get this—our Class C has four guys from the basketball team, and two of them are regulars!”

“Really?”

“Yup! No matter how great Uryun is, he can’t do much against four experienced players, right?”

Apparently, this is why she went out of her way to join this lunch.

It’s shockingly trivial.

“Class B only has me, so yeah, four guys is tough.”

“Huh? Don’t think you can get away with that kind of weakness. Once you’ve chosen the path of basketball, it’s your duty to overcome any obstacle with victory.”

“Uh, my first choice was soccer, though.”

“Kukuku, to think you can’t even choose your own path—how pathetic, Uryu.”

“If you hadn’t meddled, we would’ve settled on soccer!”

“Who can play soccer under the scorching summer sun!?”

“The gym’s hot too, you know. It’s just slightly better without the sunlight.”

“Don’t care. I’m skipping, so it’s irrelevant to me.”

“You two are always like this, aren’t you?”

Tsukikage Miharu, listening to me and Uryu’s banter, looks at us with a fond smile.

What’s with that parental gaze?

“But I get Yukki’s feelings. It’s only going to get hotter, and being under the sun is tough, right?”

Kamishiro Haruka fans herself with her left hand, sending a breeze her way.

Even though it’s early summer, the temperature is gradually rising, and the sticky heat mercilessly saps my motivation.

“No, no, you might agree with me, but there’s something I can’t agree with you on.”

“Huh? What?”

“You too, Tsukikage Miharu.”

“Me too?”

“That’s right. We agree that we hate the heat, don’t we?”

“Yeah, I think spring or fall is much more comfortable.”

The two girls look at me, puzzled, unable to grasp what I’m getting at.

Beating around the bush is annoying, so I decide to just say it outright.

“Why are you two wearing cardigans?”

Ever since I saw the two of them in their summer uniforms, I couldn’t hold back from saying it.

Why would they wear cardigans over their breezy summer uniforms?

They claim to hate the heat, yet Kamishiro Haruka is wearing a light blue one, and Tsukikage Miharu is in a navy one.

“I still feel a bit chilly, so wearing this makes me feel secure.”

“Chilly?”

“Yeah. Cardigans are a must for me, even in summer.”

I’m stunned by Tsukikage Miharu’s response.

I’ve heard that men and women’s body temperatures differ by about two degrees, but I didn’t think it’d be to the point where she needs to wear long sleeves in this heat.

Maybe it’s just her.

“What about you?”

“Hmm, I dunno. Not as much as Miha-chan, and it does feel hot sometimes, but…”

“What’s with that vague attitude? If you don’t need it, don’t wear it. My only joy is savoring whether your camisole shows through the summer uniform or not!”

“Yup, that’s exactly why I wear it.”

“What!? A preventative measure!?”

My jaw drops at Kamishiro Haruka’s revelation.

Aren’t cardigans supposed to be for when you’re cold?

“Ugh, I just don’t want my camisole showing through. I already get enough stares as it is…”

“Haruka-chan’s got a big chest, after all.”

“Ugh, don’t say that! I’m self-conscious about it!”

Kamishiro Haruka covers her face with both hands, clearly embarrassed.

Tsukikage Miharu’s comment seems to have hit a nerve, though I’m not sure why.

If you’ve got something that impressive, you should flaunt it with confidence.

Still, to think cardigans are worn in summer for that reason.

Last summer, I thought girls were just super sensitive to the cold, but to think they were outmaneuvering us all along.

“…That’s harsh, taking away one of the few joys guys have… It’s not like it would grow small, so what’s the big deal?”

“Yukki, you’re radiating such melancholy…”

“If you feel bad for me, take off the cardigan.”

“Haha, you really don’t waver, do you, Yukki?”

This devil’s laughing at me while I’m wallowing in sorrow.

“But, Yukiya-kun, you don’t strike me as the type to ogle girls that much.”

“Yeah, I hardly ever feel that kind of gaze from Yukki.”

“Yukiya’s all talk. He’s just a wannabe perv who doesn’t act on it.”

“Who’re you calling a wannabe perv? Want me to stare you down right now?”

“Yukki getting all worked up is cute.”

“Super cute.”

“I’m not cute!!”

Ugh, I can’t stand this atmosphere.

This is exactly why I hate eating with other people…