My Popular-as-Hell Best Friend Is Annoying, So I Want to Get Him a Girlfriend and Shut Him Up - Chapter 248 & 249 & 250

Chapter 248: The Race

Bidding farewell to the honorable infirmary monitor who gave us a place to hang out, Haruka and I head to the school courtyard.

Maybe because students are casually doing club activities, I feel like we stick out. Or rather, it’s mostly the stares aimed at the high school girl next to me.

“Hey, we’re getting stared at because of you.”

“Eh, it’s because Yukki’s in uniform in the courtyard, right?”

This girl’s trying to pin her sins on me. If I weren’t the reincarnation of Buddha, a double chop would’ve landed on her head by now.

“Speaking of, Yukki, why are you in uniform?”

“No gym class today, so no need for PE clothes.”

“Everyone in sports clubs brings them, though.”

“Oh? You saying that knowing I’m the next sumo club captain?”

“No, I’m asking why you didn’t bring them.”

“Huh, you’re pretty sharp.”

“That didn’t feel like a compliment at all…”

Hmph, I don’t need PE clothes for sumo. I could train butt-naked if I wanted. Haruka almost had me second-guessing, but I’m not wrong. Naked’s my battle style.

“Sigh.”

“What’s with the sigh? We’re about to grind for victory against Uryu.”

Even though she’s changing into PE clothes, Haruka’s expression is oddly glum.

“What, you eat some weeds or something?”

“What kind of person do you think I am, Yukki!?”

“A girl whose diet goes straight to her chest.”

Noticing her chest stands out more in PE clothes than her uniform, I comment, and Haruka lets out another big sigh.

“I never thought you’d say something like that.”

She’s probably talking about my comment on a woman’s delicate parts. She hesitated a lot, but she’s the one who agreed in the end.

“Look, I could say the same to you.”

I don’t know if she’s challenging my values, but this whole mess wouldn’t have happened if Haruka hadn’t made that reckless promise.

“I mean, it felt like you wouldn’t do the two-legged race otherwise!”

“Still, that was way too extreme. You always say stuff like that?”

“No way! I thought Yukki wouldn’t make, like, pervy demands or anything.”

“What’s that? You’re talking to me, the testosterone-pumping man’s man!”

“Testosterone-pumping man’s man…? Who’s that…?”

Reflexively, my right hand drops straight onto Haruka’s head. A perfect hit.

“Ease up! Learn some restraint, Yukki!”

“Shut it! That’s punishment for mental distress!”

“I told you before, I don’t feel creepy vibes from you! That’s why I thought it’d be fine!”

“What!? No way! If you’re gonna go that far, I’ll live staring at your chest and thighs. Then you’ll admit I’m a testosterone-pumping man’s man, right!?”

“I won’t! Why’re you chasing a dishonorable title!?”

Damn, this girl’s nuts. How can she not see the greatness of a man like me? Is this the gender gap?

“Ugh, bickering with Yukki makes my serious worries feel so stupid.”

Wait, am I being dissed? Not seen as a man and called an idiot? Could I win a lawsuit?

…Nah, I don’t think I’d get any sympathy from guys. Beauties are so unfair.

“Whatever, I’ll think about it after beating Ururun. Gotta win first.”

With that, Haruka starts warming up alone. She’s right—this banter’s meaningless if we don’t beat Uryu. Making her keep her promise is a top-tier mission I’ll clear later.

“Eissa, hoisa.”

Haruka stretches, vocalizing, and it’s honestly kinda provocative. If this were Mayoi, she’d be deliberately slaying the guys, but Haruka’s childish innocence somehow adds points. What am I even judging?

“Alright, body’s warmed up. Yukki, let’s race!”

After a thorough warm-up, Haruka blurts out something wild.

“I wanna see how fast you are!”

“I’m in my uniform, though.”

“It’s fine, it’s fine! Just roll up your pants, no problem!”

She’s already hyped. She folds my pant legs, flashes an “Okay!” and a thumbs-up. She’s all smiles, like our earlier spat never happened.

I had a bad feeling the moment I stepped onto the courtyard in uniform, but getting roped into a full sprint? Fine, beating Uryu’s a win for me too. I’ll play along.

I stretch lightly and line up next to Haruka. Last time I ran all-out was playing cops and robbers at the Aoyagi villa. That was so intense I could’ve died.

“On your mark. Get set, go!”

At Haruka’s signal, I move my arms and legs as fast as I can. I think it’s a solid start, but that confidence vanishes instantly.

Haruka, running beside me, doesn’t fall behind at all. I’m not that fast, but I didn’t expect her to keep up so easily. If I let my guard down, she’ll blow past me.

I cross the makeshift finish line just a hair ahead of Haruka. Slowing down, exhaustion hits my lungs hard. Okay, I get why Haruka’s so fixated on beating Uryu. With moves like that, you’d wanna compete and win.

“Wow, Yukki! You’re almost as fast as me!”

Haruka, looking way less winded, claps as she approaches.

“Ururun would have to slow down for a girl, right? But we can both go all-out. Yukki! If we practice, we can win!”

“Uh, yeah, sure.”

Sorry to kill your vibe, but I’m still recovering from that sprint.

How’s this girl so energetic?

Chapter 249: Uryu’s Participation

“Alright, we’re done for today.”

“Already!?”

Wiping sweat from my chin, I call it quits, and Haruka expresses her shock with her whole body.

“We only did a 50-meter sprint.”

“I don’t wanna keep running in my uniform. If it gets dirty, it’ll stress out Dad.”

“Hmm, how about rolling the pants up to your knees?”

“That’s not the issue.”

It’s not just about my feet—dirt kicked up from stomping can easily hit my back. So, practice is canceled for today. Gotta treat the uniform with care.

“Yukki, you were all fired up earlier!”

“It’s gonna be tougher than I thought, and I don’t wanna keep running in the courtyard.”

“Then how about the asphalt by the student entrance? That won’t dirty your uniform.”

“You think a torn uniform from falling on asphalt is any better? Dad would worry.”

“Haha, Yukki, you’re always thinking about your dad.”

“Of course. Without Dad, I wouldn’t exist.”

“I mean, your mom’s part of that too, right?”

“What nonsense. I’m pretty sure I split off from Dad.”

“You’re the one spouting nonsense!”

Stop it, don’t make me face reality. Don’t make me think I’ve got more of Mom’s traits than Dad’s.

“You sound like my big brother.”

“Hey, don’t lump me with that slightly unhinged guy.”

“Are you just fishing for comebacks, Yukki?”

Huh? What’s that mean? If you’re saying I’m unhinged, a cross chop’s gonna land on your head.

“My brother’s always going on about what I’m doing, how I’m doing.”

“Oh, so you split off from your brother’s cells?”

“You’re still on the splitting thing!?”

She’s starting to react like Izumo. Next thing, she’ll lecture me about decorum… whoops. Almost disrespected the goddess who praised my manga. Close call.

“Putting aside your ‘I’m too loved by my big brother’ flex—”

“That’s a total misread! I’m actually fed up with him treating me like a kid!”

“In that case, land a body blow, then a flying knee to his nose. He’ll calm down—”

“What kind of calming down are you suggesting!?”

“You ask too many questions.”

“Yukki, you’re the one making me ask!”

How rude. I’m just stating facts and giving advice. No objections allowed.

“So, of course, you can’t tell your boyfriend—”

“No way! If I did, who knows what’d happen to Imaizumi-senpai…”

“Scary.”

Is this beyond sister-complex territory? Having a stunning sister might make anyone overly protective, I guess.

…No, Uryu’s not like that with Tsuyu. Kamishiro’s brother must be on another level. Whatever, it’s got nothing to do with me.

“Forget my brother. It’s getting me all pent up.”

You brought him up. And “pent up”? Fancy phrasing. Is your brother that bad?

“So, practice is done? I’ve got time, maybe I’ll pop by my club.”

Haruka stretches, mulling it over. After just one sprint, she’s clearly itching to move more.

“Deciding to team up with me is progress enough. Uryu probably hasn’t even picked a partner.”

“But we can’t let our guard down with Ururun, right? I wanna get a head start if we can.”

“Fair, but will he even join the two-legged race?”

“Of course! I talked to him about it before summer break!”

*

“Ururun! If we’re in different teams at the sports festival, it’s a showdown!”

“I’m not Ururun, but a showdown in what?”

“The two-legged race, obviously! It’s mixed-gender!”

“Oh, that…?”

“It’s time to settle our long history of battles!”

“I’m not Ururun, and I don’t recall any such history, but if I don’t forget…”

*

“See? It’s fine, right?”

Hirose Yukiya unleashes a chop on Kamishiro Haruka.

“Yukki!? My head’s not your personal punching bag!”

“With a head like that, you deserve it! What made you think Uryu agreed!?”

“He said ‘if I don’t forget,’ didn’t he? Ururun’s got a great memory, no way he’d forget!”

“‘If I don’t forget’ is just a polite way to dodge! From what you said, he didn’t sound into it at all!”

“Then he wouldn’t have said it like that! He said it because he’ll compete!”

“Okay, what do you say when someone challenges you to a sports match?”

“‘Bring it!’ or ‘What sport!?’ stuff like that.”

“And what did Uryu say?”

“Oh.”

Hirose Yukiya unleashes another chop on Kamishiro Haruka.

“My brain cells! All the vocab I memorized is scattering!”

“Shut up! Instead of funny reactions, think of a plan!”

I’m ragging on Haruka, but I misjudged too. I figured Uryu wouldn’t be keen, but her story confirms it.

“By the way, did Uryu do the two-legged race last year?”

“Nope, I didn’t challenge him then either.”

“Nope,” she says so casually. Even without Haruka’s challenge, with his athleticism, he’d likely get roped in. Not joining means he’s wary of pairing with a specific girl. Makes sense, given his position.

“Ururun’s that unlikely to join?”

“That’s my read.”

“No way…”

Haruka’s visibly bummed, and it’s no wonder—her big chance to compete might slip away. I’m not thrilled about losing my shot to make her keep her promise either.

“No choice.”

I pull my phone from my pocket and dial a contact.

“Yukki, you were running with your phone?”

“Your comebacks are so off-target.”

“But it’d be tough to move with it in your thigh—no, who’re you calling?”

“Someone who might have useful info.”

Usually, this person picks up instantly, but they might be busy at school.

Just as I decide to try again, the hold music cuts off.

“Ha, ha! This timing is unfair!”

Panting with a strangely sultry tone, the voice on the other end—Aoyagi Tsuyu—grumbles.

“Sorry, were you on the move?”

“No, I was studying at school, but when Yukiya-san called, I had to find a spot to talk.”

“Oh, you could’ve called back later.”

“No way I’d hang up on a rare call from Yukiya-san! What’re you talking about!?”

Don’t yell at me for that.

“So, what’s with the call at this hour?”

“Yeah, I’ve got a quick question.”

If Uryu won’t join the two-legged race, his sister, who adores him, might have a clever idea.

So, I cut to the chase.

“I wanna make Uryu do something. Any good ideas?”

“If Yukiya-san asks, he’ll probably say yes.”

Wait, problem solved?

Chapter 250: Uryu Strategy Meeting

“Tsuyu, I’m talking serious business here.”

“Yes, I meant to answer seriously too.”

In Tsuyu’s mind, if I ask Uryu, he’ll agree. It kinda makes sense, but knowing him, he’ll probably turn it into a “favor” I owe. I’d rather handle this with zero risk on my end.

“What are you even asking him to do?”

“I want him to join the two-legged race at the sports festival.”

“Eh, you’re participating, Yukiya-san? I thought you’d hate that stuff.”

“Unavoidable circumstances. Reluctant participation, you know.”

“…Not that reluctant, right?”

I catch a stray jab from outside the call, but obviously, I ignore it.

“Hmm, I don’t think Onii-chan would mind. Especially if it’s with you, Yukiya-san.”

“That’s the thing—it’s a mixed-gender two-legged race. I think Uryu’d balk at that.”

“Mixed-gender? Wait, I’m getting confused. Then he can’t join, right?”

“No, he can. It’d be tough on his partner, sure.”

“Are you… trying to make Onii-chan cross-dress?”

“Huh?”

That wild phrase short-circuits my brain. Where’d cross-dressing come from?

“That’s probably impossible. I can’t even picture Onii-chan like that.”

“Hold up, why would I ask Uryu to cross-dress?”

“Because you’re both doing the mixed-gender two-legged race, right?”

“Pfft.”

Okay, we’ve had a major misunderstanding. My bad for not explaining clearly, but Tsuyu’s imagination is something else.

“Hey! Your wording was confusing! It totally sounded like you and Onii-chan were doing the race together!”

After clearing up Tsuyu’s mix-up, she comes at me with a torrent of energy.

“No, you should’ve asked when I said ‘mixed-gender.’”

“But I thought, you know, Yourei High might do stuff like that.”

You good, Yourei High? You’re giving prospective students a wild impression. What kind of open house leads to this?

“So, I wanna face Uryu in the two-legged race, but I’m not sure he’ll bite.”

“Hmm, tricky. It’s definitely not a race he’d jump into willingly.”

“Right?”

“And Onii-chan might worry about burdening the girl he’s paired with. Not just about wanting to join, but the fallout.”

That’s it. Doing the two-legged race with Uryu means being glued to him from practice to the event. If jealous girls might hassle his partner, Uryu’d refuse, no matter what. What a troublesome guy.

“If people knew Onii-chan wasn’t the one pushing to join, it’d help.”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s hard to explain, but you make it so he has to join. Not because he’s athletic, but because the vibe demands it. Then his partner has to be chosen to win.”

“A situation where Uryu has to join…”

Got it, that makes sense. If it feels natural for Uryu to participate, he won’t say no.

And I’ve already got an idea.

“Thanks, Tsuyu. That helped.”

I thank Tsuyu for her advice, even though she’s studying. Now I can set the stage to face Uryu. All that’s left is training to win.

“Wait, hold on!”

As I’m about to hang up, Tsuyu stops me.

“Hm? What’s up?”

“‘What’s up’? Is that all you needed?”

“Pretty much.”

I say it casually, and a sigh loud enough to hear over the phone comes through.

“Yukiya-san, calling me on a weekday at this hour is a first, right?”

“Well, yeah, we’re both at school.”

“And it’s after hours. Doesn’t that make you expect something?”

“Expect?”

“Like, um, an after-school date or something…”

I finally get why Tsuyu dropped her studying to take my call. She thought if she didn’t answer, she’d miss a chance to hang out.

“Look, with exams coming up, I’m not gonna drag you out.”

“Yukiya-san, you’re always on about that! You need a break sometimes to shine on test day!”

“Fair point.”

She’s got me there—I can’t just brush her off. I was just leaning on her for advice. Hanging up without giving her something feels wrong.

“Sigh…”

My turn to sigh. It’s getting late, so a date’s out, but I should offer something she’d like.

“Wanna walk home together?”

“Eh?”

“I’ll meet you at the station and stick with you till we get home.”

“Really!?”

“Just straight home, no detours, got it?”

“That’s more than enough! Worth answering the call!”

“I’ll text you when I’m arriving. Study hard till then.”

“Yes! This unworthy Tsuyu will dive back into her studies!”

Tsuyu ends the call on a bizarrely high note. Unlike her brother, she’s so full of energy—it’s kinda cute.

“Haruka, looks like we can handle the Uryu thing.”

It’s not a done deal, but we can definitely create a vibe where Uryu feels he has to join. If he still refuses, we’ll need a new plan, but he’s surprisingly game sometimes, so I’m optimistic.

“Yukki, that’s not what matters.”

“Huh?”

Her unexpected reply makes my eyes widen.

Not what matters? She was just freaking out about this. Isn’t Uryu’s participation the first hurdle?

I glance at Haruka’s expression and realize my mistake.

Crap, did I overshare personal stuff?

“More importantly, what’d you talk about with Tsuyu-chan?”

There she is, grinning like a gossip-hungry neighborhood auntie, Haruka’s smirk stretching wide.