My Popular-as-Hell Best Friend Is Annoying, So I Want to Get Him a Girlfriend and Shut Him Up - Chapter 228 & 229 & 230

Chapter 228: Summer Break, Aoyagi Family 2

Sorry, Hisame-san, brimming with confidence, but I will still toss out some negative feedback: “That ad might get an R-rating—where are you airing it?” and “If it’s online, won’t customers lured by the sex appeal sue for false advertising?”

“…Hmph, whatever, autonomous driving’s a far-off future anyway. I’m not dealing with it.”

As expected, Hisame-san visibly sulks.

Her pouty face, a rare contrast to her usual mature vibe, is super cute, but saying that might make her hold a grudge, so I keep quiet.

“Anyway, it’s fine since it’s just us three, but don’t talk about that in front of Tsuyu, okay?”

“Why not? Autonomous driving’s a romantic dream.”

“Not that—the over-the-top couple part.”

She could pass for a high schooler, but she’s still a third-year middle schooler.

Talk of “escalating” or “going all the way” is too much for her.

“Yuki-kun, you’re underestimating girls’ school vibes, aren’t you?”

“Huh?”

But Hisame-san responds with an exasperated tone.

“Girls mature mentally faster than guys. Plus, in a girls’ school, there’s no opposite sex to act as a brake. Some girls might get into pretty wild conversations.”

“Wow, that’s interesting. You knew, Uryu?”

“Nah, I’ve never gotten that vibe from Tsuyu.”

“Right.”

Since Hisame-san went to a girls’ school, she’s probably right, but I can’t imagine Tsuyu in those kinds of talks.

Still, when we shared a bed, she wasn’t fazed by my words, so maybe she’s used to it.

Ugh, thinking more about this is pointless.

“By the way, what kind of wild conversations?”

“I don’t think you wanna know.”

“Really? Then never mind.”

“Exactly. If you’re backing off, you wouldn’t have asked in the first place.”

Oh, she’s not listening to me.

That smirk—she’s basking in her own smugness.

Well, if she’s spilling, I’ll listen.

“Like, A-chan stole B-chan’s boyfriend, or C-chan’s boyfriend’s into [redacted].”

“Whoa…”

That’s actually wild.

I can’t wrap my head around people casually talking about such sensitive stuff.

Makes guys’ dirty talk seem cute by comparison.

I’ve never joined in, though.

“Heh, don’t worry. Tsuyu hasn’t fallen to the dark side. Her friends seem pure too.”

I figured, and I’m relieved.

Hisame-san got me worried for nothing with her girls’ school spiel.

“Then that means it’s not stuff you can talk about with Tsuyu anyway, right?”

She made it sound like girls’ schools build a tolerance for spicy topics, but if Tsuyu’s not like that, what was the point of all this?

“Obviously! Tsuyu’s my precious angel. If anyone tries to drag her into crude stuff, I’ll socially annihilate them.”

What’s scary about that line is that Hisame-san might actually mean it, not joking.

Her siscon level is unreal—the gap in how she treats Uryu is wild.

“So, in short, you’re not telling Tsuyu.”

“That’s one way to put it.”

Then the whole girls’ school tangent was pointless.

Maybe it was just a good time-killer for Hisame-san.

“By the way, Yuki-kun.”

“What?”

“How far have you gotten with Tsuyu?”

Just when I thought the girls’ school talk was over, Hisame-san hits me with an even more abrupt topic.

…What’s this, a test?

After that siscon outburst, I can’t answer lightly.

“By the way, I know Tsuyu confessed to you.”

And she cuts off my escape with a follow-up.

Like she won’t let a half-assed answer slide.

Still, I can’t say anything but the truth.

“No real progress, honestly.”

I don’t know how Tsuyu feels, but that’s the reality for me.

No matter what Hisame-san throws at me, I’m not giving a flippant reply.

This is something I need to think about seriously moving forward.

“God, you’re impossible. Holding off Tsuyu’s confession? If it wasn’t you, Yuki-kun, who knows what’d happen.”

“If it wasn’t Yukiya, Tsuyu wouldn’t have confessed.”

“Oh, Uryu, you say something smart for once.”

“Smarter than you, Hisame-san—you don’t listen half as much as I do.”

It was getting kinda embarrassing, so I forced a topic change.

She’s less tied to romance than I expected, but does she have anyone she’s into?

“Well, I don’t plan on sleeping with anyone inferior to me.”

That’s a cool way to put it.

She’s so top-tier she won’t compromise.

But at this rate, Hisame-san might never date.

Who could even talk down to her?

“But, like, dying a virgin feels like missing out on life. Knowing the opposite sex is a necessary experience, so… oh, right!”

Hisame-san perked up like she had a brilliant idea.

I had a bad feeling, and sure enough…

“Yuki-kun, wanna hook up just once?”

Uryu and I both choked at the same time.

Then we coughed in sync.

…Was that a hallucination?

It felt like she asked something insane with the casualness of inviting me to grab food.

“Of course, we keep it secret from Tsuyu. She might hate me if she found out.”

“No, I’m not doing it, period.”

“Huh, why not? I’m pretty confident in my figure.”

It’s not about feminine appeal.

Maybe it’s not in your dictionary, Hisame-san, but ever heard of ethics?

“Didn’t you just say you wouldn’t sleep with anyone inferior?”

“You’re fine, Yuki-kun. If you weren’t Tsuyu’s crush, I’d probably keep you as my pet forever.”

Uryu and I both dug out our ears at the same time.

That felt like a wild coming-out, but it wasn’t a hallucination.

“I think you’re overrating me.”

“No way. All the Aoyagi siblings like you, Yuki-kun. Right, Uryu?”

“Well, you’re not wrong.”

“Oh, and Mom wants to meet you, Yuki-kun. Since all us siblings are in your debt.”

“For real?”

I’d heard about it from Tsuyu, but I’ve never met the Aoyagi parents.

No reason to, but I didn’t expect them to want to meet me.

“What’re they like?”

“Hmm, most things get brushed off with an ‘Ara Ara.’”

“Huh…”

That’s different from the image Tsuyu gave me.

I thought they’d be more overprotective, but they sound laid-back.

Well, Tsuyu’s situation—quitting her mom’s alma mater to transfer—isn’t exactly “most things.”

“So, Yuki-kun, take care of the whole Aoyagi family, Mom included, ‘kay?”

I could only give a vague look to Hisame-san’s beaming smile.

What’s this?

Am I imagining it, or are the walls slowly closing in around me?

Chapter 229: Summer Break, Aoyagi Family 3

“We’re finally here~!”

“Good work, Nee-san.”

After over an hour of being thrown around by Hisame-san’s wild tangents, we arrived at the Aoyagi family villa we visited for the study camp.

But we didn’t park at the villa’s lot—instead, at a nearby parking area.

There’s a reason Hisame-san chose this.

“Hisame-san, does Tsuyu really not know we’re coming today?”

“I told you, it’s true. Why are you such a cautious guy.”

Apparently, today’s visit is a surprise.

I only found out during the drive.

Seriously, what if I’d mentioned it to Tsuyu on Line?

Well, I didn’t tell her anything either.

Everyone’s reactions at the Tea Ceremony Club camp were pretty fun, so I kept it quiet.

“By the way, Yuki-kun, you prepared properly, right?”

As we got out of the car and walked toward the villa, Hisame-san called out.

“Well, kinda. I think she’ll like it.”

“Now that you mention it, Yukiya, you’ve got a lot of stuff for a day trip.”

“Yeah, packing got a bit out of hand. Ended up bigger than I expected.”

“Packing?”

“Don’t worry about it, it’s no big deal.”

Before coming, Hisame-san told me to bring something Tsuyu could enjoy to pass the time.

She’s cooped up studying, so without some fun, she’d get bored—a classy move by Hisame-san.

It was sudden, so I scrambled, but I prepared something.

Knowing Tsuyu, she’ll enjoy it, but there’s one issue.

“By the way, it doesn’t have to be a gift, right?”

“Hm? What do you mean?”

“Well, what I brought has to come back with me.”

It’s my clear mistake, but I focused too much on fun and forgot about ongoing entertainment.

Since we’re here today, she doesn’t need a distraction, so I totally missed the mark.

““I see…””

Hisame-san and Uryu muttered at the same time.

“I was wondering what you brought, Yuki-kun, but that’s how it is.”

“It’s so you, Yukiya, but bringing it at all is peak you.”

From that exchange, they somehow figured out what I brought.

Was I that obvious, or are these two just freakishly perceptive?

I’m going with the latter to save face.

“So what’d you two bring?”

I’m not cool with them guessing my stuff while keeping theirs secret.

I wanna know before it gets to Tsuyu.

Uryu’s probably fine, but I can’t imagine Hisame-san brought anything normal.

“I got a mystery novel by an author Tsuyu likes. New release came out.”

“I brought some animal documentary DVDs. Worst case, she can watch while studying.”

“No way…”

Hisame-san brought something normal…?

The same Hisame-san who spewed nonsense in the car brought animal documentary DVDs?

“What, Yuki-kun?”

“Animal documentaries?”

“Yeah, something weird?”

“No, I just thought you’d show Tsuyu a video of yourself labeled as an ‘animal.’”

“Yuki-kun, what do you take me for?”

“Ow, ow!!”

I thought I hit the nail on the head, but Hisame-san locked me in a headlock with a huge grin.

Her summer outfit makes certain things very noticeable, but she doesn’t care.

My body hurts, but her cheek’s soft—quite the lovely hell.

“This is a crucial time for Tsuyu. If she saw a video full of her beloved big sis, she’d get homesick and couldn’t study. Praise me for compromising with animals.”

“Hey, Uryu, summarize that.”

“She’s exactly the kind of person you think she is.”

“Uryu, want a headlock too?”

“My apologies.”

Ugh, this woman.

She’s a stunning genius even Uryu can’t touch, but when it comes to her sister, she’s a total mess.

Maybe Tsuyu needs to snap her out of it and fix her brain.

Then again, a non-Tsuyu-obsessed Hisame-san wouldn’t be Hisame-san.

“Alright, here we go.”

Freed from Hisame-san, we walked a bit and reached the familiar large building.

Man, it’s hot—sweating just from a short walk.

At the entrance, a figure waited for us—Toritani-san, who helped us last time.

“Long time no see, Tori-chan. You’re looking as lively as ever.”

The moment they met, Hisame-san hugged Toritani-san like a Western greeting.

“You’re as gorgeous as ever, Hisame-san.”

“Oh, Tori-chan, flattery won’t get you anything—it’s obvious.”

“No, no, just seeing your bold self is enough for me.”

“You two hear that? You should respect me like Tori-chan does.”

Uryu and I exchanged glances, both wearing unreadable expressions.

“I’m pretty sure we respect her, but saying it outright feels wrong.”

When we think like this, Uryu and I are usually on the same page, so I’m not wrong.

“So, Tori-chan, is Tsuyu inside?”

“Yes, she’s probably studying in her room. I’ll call her.”

Led by Toritani-san, we entered the building.

Reaching the entrance hall from the study camp, Toritani-san called up to the second floor, “Tsuyu-saaan.”

It wasn’t loud—would it reach Tsuyu?

“Yeees.”

But soon, I heard a door open and a voice I hadn’t heard directly in a while.

Footsteps approached, and we naturally looked up to the second floor.

“Rare for Toritani-san to call…”

Tsuyu’s words stopped there.

Dressed in a pure white sundress, she froze the moment she noticed us.

“Y-Yukiya-san!?”

“Yo, I’m here.”

“Onee-chan and him too! Why!?”

“…I lost. Lost to Yuki-kun in the order.”

“I wasn’t even invited.”

The surprise was a big success, but the eldest daughter and son are taking collateral damage.

Your little sister’s asking, so answer her properly.

“Ah!”

As I wondered how to calm this down, Tsuyu suddenly yelped.

Blushing, she turned her back to us.

“J-Just gonna change!!”

With that, she hurried back the way she came.

Why?

It wasn’t pajamas—she didn’t need to change.

“Maybe Tsuyu-san felt a bit underdressed?”

Toritani-san smiled, like she understood.

No, enough with the cryptic stuff—can you just tell me why?

It feels like she ran away the second we met.

“Tsuyu… she used to follow me around, saying ‘Onee-chan, Onee-chan’…”

“Think I can head home?”

Hey, Aoyagi siblings.

Don’t ditch me in your own villa.

Chapter 230: Summer Break, Aoyagi Family 4

“Sorry for the wait!”

Ignoring the emotionally unstable duo and chatting with Toritani-san, Tsuyu returned after stepping away to change.

“Huh? Didn’t you go to change?”

But Tsuyu’s outfit was the same.

Still in her pure white sundress.

“W-Well, um…”

Tsuyu’s cheeks flushed slightly as she looked away.

I didn’t think it was a tough question, but if she didn’t have better clothes, that’s fine.

As I puzzled over it, Hisame-san, reading the situation, spoke up.

“Yuki-kun, Tsuyu’s change is all taken care of.”

“Huh? But—”

“Because this girl was going braless until just now.”

Hisame-san’s words made Tsuyu’s face turn even redder.

“Onee-chan! Why’d you say that!?”

“Because I wanted to see your embarrassed face. The rest is your own fault.”

“Ugh…”

Judging by Tsuyu’s reaction, Hisame-san’s claim was spot-on.

But does it make that much difference?

I couldn’t tell from a distance, and it doesn’t seem like something to fuss over.

“…Yukiya-san, you’re staring too much.”

Tsuyu glared at me, teary-eyed, covering her chest.

Sadly, it wasn’t intimidating at all.

“Come on, with that conversation, anyone’d look, right, Hisame-san?”

“I wanna grill you all night for dragging me into this, but yeah, you’d look.”

“Nee-san, you’re not supposed to go along with Yukiya…”

Uryu let out a huge, exasperated sigh.

This guy, acting all saintly in front of his sister.

You’d glance at her chest too in this situation… or maybe not.

Between ED rumors and lolicon vibes, he’s a busy guy.

“Tsuyu, it might feel comfy, but you should fix that habit. You’re already full of openings.”

“It couldn’t be helped today! I didn’t expect Yukiya-san to show up.”

“Hey, think of me too. I’m a guy, even if I’m your brother.”

“Eh, do I need to care about Onii-chan now? You wouldn’t mind anyway, right?”

“It’s not about that—”

A sister who won’t listen to her brother’s lecture.

From what Uryu says, Tsuyu’s usually pretty lax with her outfits.

For someone crushing on her, Uryu’s living an enviably shameless life.

Is this guy secretly a rom-com protagonist?

His “zero interest in girls” trait would probably get him canceled fast, though.

“By the way, Tsuyu, I’m cool either way. Honestly, skipping it scores higher points to me.”

“Same here. Of course, skipping it gets more points.”

“Onii-chan, you’re in the minority.”

“Don’t think these perverts are the majority…”

Uryu shook his head, palm on his forehead.

What’s that tone, like I’m the weird one?

Hisame-san aside, I’m normal, right?

Just standard guy brain at work.

“Hey, Uryu, what’s with saying I’m the weird one? Yuki-kun aside, I’m normal, right? Standard Onee-chan brain.”

“Sure, whatever.”

Oi, Uryu, don’t give up on her.

That was a retort begging for a comeback.

Normally, you’d fire back easily—why the serene, enlightened face?

“Ugh! You’re all saying whatever you want, but I’m proper when others are around! …I don’t want Yukiya-san to think I’m unladylike.”

So, nothing’s changed.

She’ll tidy up when I visit, like today, but left alone, she’s totally chill.

That’s fine—her outfits don’t provoke anyone.

Uryu, just deal with it.

“Oh my, Tsuyu’s so pure~.”

Hisame-san, tickled by her last words, happily patted Tsuyu’s head.

Tsuyu hid her face by hugging Hisame-san.

Seeing this, Hisame-san’s really playing the big sister, even if her “normal sis brain” claim is dubious.

Still, Tsuyu’s fussing over something trivial.

Whether a girl’s ladylike or not isn’t a big deal to me.

But her worrying about it is kinda cute, I guess.

“Hey, Onee-chan, it’s tight…!”

“Whoops, too much love?”

Maybe she hugged back too hard—Tsuyu was nearly suffocating in Hisame-san’s chest.

Death by boobs sounds happy but super embarrassing.

How’d the media cover that? Fascinating topic.

After the sisters’ love hug ended, a “grrr” rumbled.

It came from my stomach.

“I’m hungry.”

We left early, and I haven’t eaten since breakfast, just water.

It’s a bit early for lunch, but I can’t help the hunger.

“…Pfft.”

Despite that, the Aoyagi siblings burst out laughing in sync.

Come on, it’s because we left early!

You guys know that!

“Yukiya-san, you really don’t hide it. People usually play it off with a blush.”

“No point hiding it. If it filled my stomach, I’d try.”

“See, Yukiya-san’s right.”

“You really think that?”

“I do. Plus, I’m hungry too.”

Her teasing tone made me wary, but Tsuyu backed me up.

It’s true—when your stomach’s signaling, you should act fast, not cover it up.

As I kept chatting leisurely with Tsuyu, two warm gazes hit me from the side.

No surprise—Hisame-san and Uryu, both with calm, Buddha-like expressions.

“Hey, don’t mind us.”

“Just snapping a few pics.”

A brother with arms crossed, smiling, and a sister aiming her phone at us.

Uh, didn’t we just say we’re hungry?