My Popular-as-Hell Best Friend Is Annoying, So I Want to Get Him a Girlfriend and Shut Him Up

Chapter 192: Chaos

Sometimes, something you’re completely uninterested in becomes your passion due to a chance encounter. Ever had that experience?

For me, sumo was exactly that.

Called Japan’s national sport, I’d never seen it live. The rare TV coverage showed mostly foreign athletes dominating. I’d heard about scandals a few times too. With only fragmented info, sumo just wasn’t on my radar.

That changed during last year’s club introduction orienteering.

Back in middle school, I was pretty rough around the edges. Even with Dad’s advice, I rarely found anything exciting. My classmates were quirky, sure, but nothing stood out. The club intros that day? Honestly, I wasn’t interested. Hearing familiar clubs drone on about familiar activities—nothing there to stir me.

That’s what I thought until Goriji-senpai took the stage, wearing nothing but a mawashi.

The gym buzzed slightly, but Senpai grabbed the mic from the stage’s edge without a hint of hesitation.

“Right now, I’m the only member. I’m not looking for half-hearted joiners. Only those serious about it—I’m waiting.”

With that, Goriji-senpai raised his leg nearly 180 degrees and stomped down hard.

I still remember the sound of his bare foot hitting the stage echoing through the gym. The noisy crowd went silent with that single move.

The sheer force, unleashed by that gifted physique, completely stole my heart. Seeing shiko for the first time, I felt a thrill deep in my core.

A grin spread across my face as I knew for sure.

This is it. Nothing else comes close.

That was my introduction to sumo—and to Goriji-senpai.

※

“Senpai, why didn’t you meet up with me last month?”

Pushing aside my joy at seeing Senpai, I ask the question burning in my mind.

I admire him so much, so getting ghosted like that was a real blow.

Am I… disliked? With that worry gnawing at me, I wait for Senpai’s reply. He crosses his arms and tilts his head.

“I was just reading the room, y’know?”

“Huh? What’s that mean?”

I mimic his head tilt, then notice Senpai’s gaze shift behind me.

“Senpai, been a month, huh?”

“Aoyagi, perfect timing.”

Appearing beside me is the guy who draws every passing girl’s stare—Aoyagi Uryu. And right now, in the gym packed with the whole school, those stares are up by thirty percent.

“Hey, you trying to crash my moment with Senpai?”

“You’re using ‘moment’ wrong. Study Japanese if you don’t want misunderstandings.”

“Haha, you two are as tight as ever.”

“Don’t kid, Senpai. Compared to our bond, he’s a moon to my turtle.”

“Want me to school you on how great turtles are?”

Crap. I just tossed out a proverb, but it flipped Uryu’s nerd switch. Gotta change the topic before he rants…

“…Wait.”

Before he launches into turtle facts, I call him out on something I can’t let slide.

“Uryu, did you just say ‘been a month’?”

No way that adds up. “A month” means Uryu and Senpai met in June—on sports festival day. That means Uryu saw Senpai while I was clueless.

No, no way. He knows how much I look forward to seeing Senpai. He wouldn’t secretly meet them behind my back, right?

But, stoking my fears, Uryu avoids my eyes. His obvious dodge shakes me, until Senpai spills the truth.

“Came back to school and the gym was buzzing—guess it was the second-years’ sports festival. Your face crossed my mind, Hirose, so I checked with Aoyagi in the gym. He said, ‘He’s flirting with girls, that cool?’ So I passed.”

Aoyagi Uryu, you’re dead meat! Dead meat, I say! This idiot’s solo call cost me a rare chance to hang with Senpai—a chance that comes maybe once or twice a month!

“Uryu, you ready to face the music…?”

My rage hits full throttle, ready to unleash all my grief over missing Senpai. But, unbelievably, Senpai stops me.

“Cool it, Hirose. Aoyagi was trying to bring me to you. I just didn’t feel like barging into a girls-only zone, so I said no.”

Senpai’s backing Uryu, but I’m not buying it.

“The whole idea of moving Senpai was dumb! You could’ve just called me, and it’d be solved in a second!”

“Says the guy who ditched right after the opening ceremony. For the record, Senpai, I hit the gym soon after it ended. If you hadn’t skipped, this wouldn’t have happened.”

“Grr…!”

True, I bolted to the second gym that day, but if I’d known Senpai was coming, I’d have stayed. Too late for regrets, but I can’t just let it go.

“You could’ve told me at lunch! That you met Senpai!”

“Sorry, I was only here that morning. Told Aoyagi that, so he probably didn’t bother mentioning it.”

I’m screwed. I wanted to rant, but Senpai’s apology shuts me up. I clutch my head and grumble.

“…Damn it, if I’d known about Senpai, I’d have rushed over…!”

“You had plans with the girls, right? I don’t mind if you picked them over me.”

“I mind! Ugh, I could’ve ditched those plans so easily…!”

“You’re as high-maintenance as ever…”

“I get Yukiya’s feelings—chances to see Senpai are rare.”

“Don’t you talk!”

You root of all evil, chatting happily with Senpai alone. I wish I hadn’t noticed Uryu’s “one month” slip. Now I’m stuck fuming.

“That’s harsh, Yukiya-kun, planning to ditch plans so casually.”

“Yeah, Yukki, don’t make Miha-chan sad!”

I’m already pissed at Uryu crashing my Senpai time, and now more intruders make it worse.

Joining our chaos are the grade’s top beauties—Kamishiro Haruka and Tsukikage Miharu.

Chapter 193: Things to Talk About

“Oh, it’s the dazzling duo! Always a sight, you two.”

Spotting them, Goriji-senpai calls out with flair.

“Hehe, thanks, Senpai!”

“Goriji-senpai, you’re as impressive as ever.”

“You’re smooth, Tsukikage. I’m just a big guy, y’know?”

Senpai scratches his head, a bit embarrassed by their smiles.

…Wait, something’s off. Isn’t he having more fun than when talking to me? No way—there’s no way he’d enjoy this more than with his devoted kouhai, right?

“So, what’s up, you two? Got business with Hirose and Aoyagi?”

“Nah, we came to greet you, Senpai! Yukki and Ururun are just bonuses.”

“Hmm, I’m not the type for greetings. …Wait, Ururun?”

“Huh? Ururun’s just Ururun!”

“Nonexistent person. Feel free to erase it from your memory.”

“Huh? Aoyagi, what’s with you?”

“Nothing. Just the usual Aoyagi Uryu.”

“Usual you doesn’t say stuff like that…”

The nickname “Ururun” almost spreads to Senpai, but Uryu shuts it down with brute force. Man, he hates it.

“By the way, were you talking about the sports festival earlier?”

As the Ururun talk wraps, Miharu glances at me with a question. Oh, right, I was venting about that earlier.

“Yeah, we were. Hirose was whining about wanting to see me.”

“Oh, so it was about Goriji-senpai visiting!”

“And Yukki said he’d ditch promises. Poor Miha-chan.”

“What, Hirose’s promise was with Tsukikage?”

Nodding in understanding, Goriji-senpai locks eyes with me.

Thwack!

A light chop lands on my head.

“What was that for!?”

“Idiot, apologize already. Especially since they overheard.”

“No way, prioritizing you was no lie!”

Another chop, this one with some real force.

“Ow, my brain cells! They’re dying!”

“Your brain cells aren’t up to much anyway.”

“That’s harsh, Senpai! You’re too harsh!”

“I’m glad you’d pick me, but think about how it feels to hear promises get tossed.”

Finally, I get it. Senpai’s not denying my loyalty—he’s saying I hurt someone and need to show sincerity. Can’t argue with that.

“Um, I’m not that upset—”

“Quiet, Tsukikage. This is about basic human decency.”

Senpai wraps an arm around my neck, turns us away, and whispers.

“You don’t talk like that to someone who likes you.”

“Likes me? Senpai, you’re misunderstanding.”

“Misunderstanding?”

“Yeah, she’s into Uryu.”

“Really? I see you talking with her more.”

“I was just giving advice, so maybe that’s why.”

“Hmm.”

I try to clear up Senpai’s mistake, but he doesn’t look convinced. After a silent moment, he mutters, “Well, if you say so.”

“But that’s that, this is this. Apologize properly, or it’ll bite you later.”

“…Got it.”

Not thrilled, but if Senpai says so, I’m in.

Ending our strategy huddle, I face a slightly confused Miharu.

“Hey, sorry about earlier. My wording sucked, and I’m reflecting.”

What is this, a public shaming? Senpai’s one thing, but apologizing in front of Uryu and Haruka? If I weren’t a patient saint, I’d be sprinting away barefoot.

“Thanks, Yukiya-kun. Sorry for teasing—I wasn’t that bothered.”

Miharu hits me with her usual gentle smile. It’s just her normal vibe, but plenty have fallen for that charm. She’s tricky in a different way from Haruka.

“Y-Yukki’s apologizing!? The ‘I’m the only one that matters’ Yukki!?”

“I’ll knock you out!”

Haruka’s dramatic shock at my heartfelt apology, hand on mouth, pisses me off even more. I’m about to chop her when one lands on my head. It hurt like hell.

“Why!? Was that my fault!?”

“No ‘knocking out’ girls.”

“But she was provoking me!”

“It’s shocking that your apologizing is shocking. Don’t you think?”

“Guh…!”

Damn it, why’s Senpai so hard on me? Haruka’s at fault too, but he’s not backing me at all.

All I want is to have fun with Senpai. Is this because I didn’t clean up my act sooner?

“Hey, get back to your classrooms already!”

As I stew, a teacher cleaning the stage scolds us. I realize the first-years are already leaving the gym.

No way, that’s it? My time with Senpai’s over? I barely got to talk—just got chewed out!

“Guess that’s a wrap.”

“Yeah, it was great talking to you before break, Senpai!”

“Me too.”

“You guys, sucking up to me won’t get you anything.”

“It’s not like that!”

Oblivious to my frustration, Senpai chats happily with Haruka and Uryu. I started this conversation, yet I’m sidelined—reality’s brutal.

Oh well, Senpai’s enjoying it. It stings, but I can’t compete with girls here. Senpai’s old-school, but talking to pretty girls like Haruka and Miharu is obviously more fun.

Swallowing my desire to keep talking, I trudge toward the gym exit when—

“Hey, don’t sneak off, Hirose.”

Senpai quickly stops me. He was chatting with everyone but now comes to me.

“Sorry, you came to talk, and I barely gave you the time of day.”

Senpai ruffles my hair roughly again, his boldness easing my pent-up frustration.

“Was planning to talk to you later, but I ended up prioritizing those three.”

“Later…?”

“Yeah.”

I tilt my head, and Senpai takes a deep breath, giving me a serious look.

“I’ve got something important to talk about. Got time after school?”

No reason to say no—I nod eagerly.

Chapter 194: The Final Push

The closing ceremony ended, and while half-listening to the classroom talk about summer break assignments and tips, I was over the moon.

In the end, I’m Goriji-senpai’s number one. Why else would he invite only me to hang out after school?

I knew it all along—no doubts here. Our bond can’t be broken by some flashy guy or pretty girls. Realizing that again? Man, the superiority feels unreal!

“Hey, Hirose, you listening?”

“Haha, not really in the mood for that right now.”

“What’s more important than summer break warnings before summer break…?”

“Sensei, it’s a waste of time, just keep going.”

“Alright, if you say so…?”

I think I heard some sharp words from Izumo, but whatever. My heart’s like a leaf floating on a gentle river—calm and accepting. A kind soul who goes with the flow? That’s me to a T.

“Yo, Yukiya.”

“What’s up, Number Two?”

“…I can guess why, but what’s with the nickname?”

I answer Uryu’s call, but he looks a bit miffed. Maybe being called by a number feels like a prison tag. Too bad, I’m not stopping—this is a rare chance to flex on him.

“Hmph, you don’t need the details. Let’s just say I’m number one, and you’re number two. Or maybe lower.”

“Sorry to burst your bubble, but not getting invited by Goriji-senpai doesn’t sting that much.”

“What’d you say?”

That’s a shocker. Not thrilled about hanging with Senpai? Is this guy even human?

Come to think of it, with his superhuman skills, he might not be. The evidence is stacking up.

“Reveal your true form, fiend.”

“Can you walk me through the thought process that led to that?”

As expected, communication’s failing. I’ve noticed we sometimes talk past each other, but to think he’s an alien? Maybe Hisame-san and Tsuyu are too. Hisame’s probably 80% alien, but Tsuyu? Hard to believe. Let’s say Uryu and Hisame are the mutants.

“No clue what you’re imagining, but I haven’t been as close to Senpai as you. Just getting some attention is enough for me.”

“Wait, that’s Japanese?”

“I’ve been speaking Japanese this whole time.”

Suddenly, we’re on the same wavelength, and I get what Uryu’s saying. True, our time with Senpai differs. He might not be as attached as I am.

That kinda ticks me off. To think this guy stole gym time with Senpai from me? If I weren’t so forgiving, I’d be snapping his pencil leads in half right now.

“Heh, the Carbon God should thank me.”

“Please, just talk normally. I can’t keep up.”

“Alright, that’s it for the talk. Everyone, study a bit and have a great summer break!”

With Hasegawa-sensei’s wrap-up, the first term officially ends. I didn’t catch a word, but instead of checking, I pack up and bolt out.

“Hey, Yukiya, my talk—”

Ignoring the cool alien, I head somewhere specific.

The sumo club room, used regularly until last year.

※

“Man, he’s totally forgotten.”

“What’s up, Aoyagi-kun?”

“Oh, Misono-san. Yukiya’s completely blanked on the Line thing.”

“How much does he love Goriji-senpai…?”

“I get the admiration, especially since he’s so small.”

“Then wouldn’t you be a target for Yukiya’s admiration too?”

“…You just gave me goosebumps.”

“Haha, yeah, imagining Yukiya fawning over you is wild.”

“Misono-san, I’m nauseous, so stop.”

“Oops, a rare Aoyagi-kun weakness.”

“Anyone would feel sick from that image…”

“Sorry, I’ll watch it next time.”

“I’ll pass on his contact info for him.”

“Is that okay without asking for his permission?”

“Not ideal, but it’ll be more fun than not telling.”

“You’re relentless with Yukiya, huh?”

“Of course—it’s why hanging out with him is fun.”

※

Next to the first gymnasium is a tatami-covered dojo where the judo club trains.

The sumo club doesn’t have a proper dohyo—we borrow tatami from the judo club and set up a makeshift ring in the nearest empty classroom.

That’s the sumo club room, our base of operations.

When Goriji-senpai joined, there were two third-year members, but no one else came. A year later, Senpai was alone until I joined after the club intro. We’ve been grinding as a duo since.

It’s just an ordinary empty classroom, but to me, it’s a proud stronghold.

“Yo, you’re early.”

Lost in thought after two months, I hear Goriji-senpai’s voice from the back door.

“Thought I came right after homeroom, but was I late?”

“Nah, I rushed here too. Couldn’t keep you waiting.”

“…Man, you’re a weird one.”

Senpai’s lips curl slightly at my words. What’s so funny about that?

As I ponder, Senpai steps closer and says,

“I thought you’d end up hating me.”

“Huh?”

I’m a bit annoyed at the outrageous claim. I’m so clearly a fan—why say that? Even a stranger could see how I feel about Senpai.

“Bad phrasing. I know you still look up to me. That’s why I don’t get it—I don’t have that much charm.”