My Popular-as-Hell Best Friend Is Annoying, So I Want to Get Him a Girlfriend and Shut Him Up - Chapter 148 & 149 & 150

Chapter 148: The Maidens’ Chat 8

After extinguishing the firestorm from Tsuyu’s bombshell confession, Izumo and Akari found themselves in the sauna together.

“That was quite a shock earlier, wasn’t it?”

Recalling the lively girl talk fitting for a student’s night, Izumo was lost in thought.

The moment Tsuyu declared her feelings for Yukiya, the atmosphere froze, but the group quickly erupted into excitement, bombarding her with questions.

Izumo had suspected as much, but it turned out Tsuyu and Yukiya hadn’t just met today—they’d crossed paths several times when Yukiya visited Uryu’s house. The initial shock and subsequent interactions were amusing, and Tsuyu had always looked up to Yukiya like a brother. But after he comforted her during a fight with her parents and listened earnestly to her future plans, her feelings turned romantic. Haruka and Ai-chan were initially floored by the story, but it was undeniably cute and sweet.

“No way, Hirose Yukiya of all people…”

Despite hearing it directly, Izumo couldn’t easily accept Tsuyu’s feelings.

To Izumo, Yukiya was an incorrigible troublemaker.

He casually showed up late to class, rarely took PE or studies seriously, and was often found leisurely reading or crafting something, making him the bane of her existence as class rep.

Of course, she knew he wasn’t all bad. When he followed class decisions, he was as reliable as Uryu, and his ability to talk confidently to anyone without being swayed was a strength.

Still, whether he’d be a romantic interest was another matter. To put it mildly, Izumo saw Yukiya as a “high-maintenance little brother.”

“He’s not a bad guy, but to like him romantically…? Akari, you listening?”

“Huh? What were we talking about?”

Noticing her best friend’s lack of response, head slightly bowed, Izumo realized Akari hadn’t been listening.

“Hey, you okay? You don’t have to force yourself to keep up.”

“I’m totally fine! Just got lost in thought for a sec!”

As Akari herself admitted, she’d been distracted all day. She was fine before heading to Uryu’s villa, but since the study camp started, she’d been like this. She insisted she wasn’t unwell, but Izumo couldn’t help worrying.

Still, Izumo felt a bit guilty for planning to push her unsteady friend like this.

“So, Izumo-chan, what’s up?”

Izumo had come to the sauna to talk with Akari alone. With no other guests around, now was the time to dive in.

Ever since the study camp was confirmed, Izumo had wanted to create this moment. She’d meant to talk before arriving but kept putting it off.

But seeing Tsuyu openly share her feelings earlier made Izumo realize she couldn’t delay anymore. So, before her resolve wavered, she decided to confront Akari.

“Um, there’s something I’ve needed to apologize to you about…”

“Apologize?”

Misono Izumo had long hidden her feelings for Aoyagi Uryu. Yukiya had pointed it out, but no one else seemed to notice. Maybe because she only knew how to act as class rep or focus on studies, she’d kept it under wraps.

But because she hid it—her best friend came to her with a love confession.

“You talked to me about your crush, right? I said I’d support you, but…”

She’d been too scared to say the rest, always pushing it off. The fear of being hated by her best friend had kept Izumo from acting.

But now was different. Even if it caused a rift, she couldn’t keep running.

She’d decided to stop being a coward.

“Sorry! I can’t support you! Because I like Aoyagi-kun too!”

She couldn’t look Akari in the eye as she said it. Too focused on pouring out her feelings, she kept her gaze on the floor.

But she’d finally told Akari the feelings she’d hidden. She’d wiped away all her guilt.

Now, all that was left was to talk openly with Akari. Even if they loved the same person, she believed they could stay best friends—

“…I see. You never actually said it, huh.”

Contrary to expectations, Akari’s voice was bright. So much so that Izumo felt deflated—Akari didn’t seem fazed at all.

“Um, Akari?”

“Sorry, Izumo-chan, for not noticing.”

“Wait, why are you apologizing? I’m the one who should be sorry.”

“Because when I talked to you, you must’ve been conflicted, right?”

“Well, yeah, but…”

“Then we’re even. We both apologized, so no more apologies! Deal?”

“Akari…!”

Seeing Akari laugh it off like it was nothing, Izumo’s eyes welled up. She was deeply relieved that her best friend treated her kindly despite her worst secret.

“And, Izumo-chan, it’s weird to say after you apologized, but you didn’t need to.”

“Huh?”

“Because what you’re worried about isn’t going to happen.”

“Wait, what does that…”

Izumo started to panic at Akari’s words, but Akari leaned in and whispered the reason in her ear.

That reason was more than enough to bewilder Izumo, who thought they shared the same feelings.

“…No way.”

“It’s not a lie.”

“You’re lying. You’re just sparing my feelings…”

“I’m not lying. You might not believe me, but…”

Akari didn’t seem to be lying to Izumo. That meant the feelings she whispered were her true ones.

“Why? How does that even happen? You were struggling with it too, weren’t you?”

“I know, but I just ended up this way, so what can I do?”

“Ended up…?”

“You’ll get it, Izumo-chan. The more you’re around him, the more you’ll see.”

Sure, but Izumo had spent more time around him than Akari. She couldn’t imagine ever relating to Akari’s words.

“Anyway, you don’t have to worry about that anymore, right?”

As Akari said, Izumo no longer needed to stress about the reason she’d hesitated to talk. Since they weren’t aiming for the same goal, there was no chance of a fight.

But if Akari was right, there was no time to waste.

“So, Akari, does that mean that from earlier…”

“Yeah. I kinda suspected, but it’s bad news, huh?”

Akari gave a troubled smile. Hearing those feelings, anyone would panic. Especially someone as reserved as Akari.

“You okay? Need me to help with anything?”

“I’m not sure if I’m okay, but I’ve got some ideas. I’d love your support, Izumo-chan.”

“Leave it to me. Whatever you need.”

“That’s my Izumo-chan, so reliable.”

With her own burden lifted, Izumo now wanted to help her best friend.

But she couldn’t help wanting to double-check if Akari was really sure about her target.

“Akari, for real? It’s not just a same-last-name mix-up?”

“Izumo-chan, clingy girls get dumped.”

“Ugh…”

Her urge to press further was swiftly shot down by her best friend’s quip.

Chapter 149: Natural Landmine

After getting out of the bath, I was resting in the lounge area in front of the changing rooms.

We were told we could use the ryokan’s yukata until tomorrow morning, so my outfit was comfy, but my head was still spinning a bit.

See, Uryu made such a dramatic exit from the sauna that I couldn’t just leave right after. His whole vibe screamed “we won’t see each other for a while,” so if I’d casually walked out and bumped into him, it would’ve been awkward. I’m a guy who reads the room, you know.

“Yukiya, want an ice cream? I’ll spot you 100 yen.”

“No ice cream costs 100 yen…”

My consideration was for nothing, though, because Aoyagi Uryu, the guy oozing male pheromones while rocking a perfectly styled yukata, came at me like our sauna talk never happened. How does a guy this clueless about the vibe get so popular? Guess humans are 90% looks after all. A harsh truth for us softies.

“Sorry for the wait!”

As I schemed to snag one of Uryu’s six-pack of chocolate ice creams, the girls finally emerged from the changing rooms. Like us, they were in yukata, but why do girls make them look so alluring? Maybe it’s the post-bath glow.

“You’re late. How long you gonna make us wait?”

“Yukiya-san, you’re the fast one. I thought you’d soak longer.”

“I wanted to, but it was crowded. Got to enjoy the open-air bath vibe, so it’s enough.”

“Did you like it?”

“Yeah, it was awesome.”

“Ehehe, glad to hear that!”

Tsuyu beamed at my response, her emotions as straightforward as ever. Not that I’m one to talk.

“Hm?”

Feeling a stare, I glanced over to see Kamishiro Haruka and Natori Mayoi grinning smugly.

“What?”

“Oh, nothing. Just noting how chummy you two are.”

“What’s with that tone?”

Rubbing her hands like a shady merchant, Haruka approached. Her tone wasn’t the only weird thing—her behavior was off too. And her head, for that matter.

“By the way, you’re still rocking a ponytail post-bath?”

She should’ve been soaking in the hot springs, but Haruka was in her usual ponytail.

“Huh? It’s normal for me.”

“Really?”

“Yukki, don’t try to dodge. We’re talking about Tsuyu-chan right now.”

I wasn’t trying to change the subject, but Haruka kept pressing about my relationship with Tsuyu, still grinning.

Come to think of it, I only told Kirita Akari that I knew Tsuyu.

“We’re not that close. Just ran into her a few times at Uryu’s place.”

“Eh, we’re not close?”

When I said that casually, Tsuyu grabbed the hem of my yukata, her eyes teary and on the verge of crying.

Hold up, that’s unexpected. Did I make her cry with that? I mean, it was a bit blunt, but…

“Calm down, Tsuyu. We’ve bonded over games three times, right? The answer’s obvious.”

“…We’re close?”

“Well, yeah. We’re close.”

I fumbled a bit, but her expression flipped 180 degrees. Her teary face turned into a smile so bright it made me wonder if the crying was fake.

Well, damn, pulling the sad puppy eyes like that? That’s unfair.

“My, my, oh my.”

“Can you not flirt in a public square?”

Apparently enjoying our exchange, Haruka and Mayoi threw out neighbor-auntie-style gestures and chatter. What’s with these two? They’re extra annoying today.

“Hey, Tsuyu-chan, don’t forget about me!”

Just as I calmed Tsuyu and tried to ignore the two idiot aunties to end the scene, a third force stepped up to face Tsuyu.

“Hirose-senpai’s closest with us!”

Declaring it boldly without a hint of shame was Rando-dono, unmatched in her pursuit of Uryu.

She used to see me as a rival and was super wary, but that’s ancient history. Now, she’s saying we’re the closest. Retracing that journey, it’s kinda tear-jerking. Not sure why she’s popping up now, though.

“What are you talking about? I’m the closest!”

For some reason, Tsuyu wasn’t backing down. Pouting, she grabbed my arm and fired back at Rando-dono.

Hey, don’t cling like that. I can feel all sorts of things. I’m gonna savor this, you little…

“But, Tsuyu-chan, you’ve only met him a handful of times, right? We see him at school every day.”

Rando-dono, why’re you exaggerating? We hang out, but not every day.

“Sora-san, even if you count from when you started school, you only got close a little over two months ago, right? I’ve been close with Yukiya-san way longer!”

But Tsuyu wasn’t giving an inch either. She didn’t hold back, even against the older Rando-dono.

“Heh, too naive, Tsuyu-chan. Sure, we met later, but we’ve got Ai-chan—double the closeness!”

“!?”

Rando-dono pulled out her trump card.

Tsuyu’s eyes widened as Ai-chan emerged from Rando-dono’s shadow. True, she kept saying “we,” but bringing Ai-chan into it now? Honestly, that’s pretty childish.

“S-Sorry, Tsuyu-chan. We can’t lose in closeness!”

Blushing, maybe from the grand entrance, Ai-chan showed her competitive spirit. Why’s it come to this? I’m the one who wants to know.

“Guh, gunununu…!”

Clinging to my arm, Tsuyu quietly seethed. She wanted to counter the double-closeness attack but seemed out of ideas.

Look, closeness with me is a trivial issue. There’s no need to obsess over it. Tsuyu’s got feelings for me, so she doesn’t want to back down, but she should just ignore these childish seniors. No need to stoop to their level.

With that in mind, I was about to say something to back her up when—

“Even with double, I won’t lose! I spent a whole night in the same bed as Yukiya-san!”

A statement that absolutely shouldn’t have been shouted echoed around, forcibly stopping time for everyone.

“Ah…”

Realizing her recklessness too late, Tsuyu’s face turned crimson, and she let go of me.

As if that snapped everyone out of a trance, piercing glares came at me from all directions. Even Rando-dono and Ai-chan, who’d been waging the closeness war, weren’t spared.

…Except Uryu, who turned away, trembling like he was holding back laughter.

“Well, time to prepare for court.”

I’ll say it again—how did it come to this?

Chapter 150: Mock Trial

Surrounded by silent girls as if embodying a four-sided siege, I was escorted from the ryokan to the Aoyagi villa, where, under Misono Izumo’s direction, the lobby was transformed.

In just five minutes, a space with only a long table and a dozen chairs morphed into a makeshift courtroom.

Long tables were set up at the front and sides, with the defendant’s spot in the middle. Behind a partition, chairs for spectators were lined up. Why is there such a convenient courtroom setup ready to go?

“Defendant, step forward.”

Lingering awkwardly in front of the spectator chairs, I was summoned by Izumo, seated at the judge’s bench. Flanking her were Rando-dono and Ai-chan, sitting like assistants, their expressions deadly serious.

I had zero intention of playing along with this farce, but dragging it out later would be a hassle, so, reluctantly, I stepped to the defendant’s spot.

“Defendant, are you indeed Hirose Yukiya?”

“You can see that, can’t you?”

“Defendant, refrain from unnecessary remarks and answer the question.”

“…That’s correct.”

From there, I was asked my birthdate, place of origin, and more, leaving my head spinning in every sense. What’s with this legit mock trial? The pressure from Judge Misono Izumo is unreal.

“Now, prosecution, please read the indictment.”

“Yes.”

At the judge’s command, Kamishiro Haruka and Natori Mayoi, seated to my left, stood.

They exuded a heavy air, as if opposing me, but everyone’s in ryokan yukata, so the vibe’s completely off.

Still, with these two idiots as prosecutors, I might get through this easily. It’ll depend on the defense attorney. Glancing right, I saw Horimoto Shoki, the only one looking uneasy. God, why put this guy here? You won’t find a less reliable lawyer.

“The indictment. On June 14 at approximately 7:30 p.m., the defendant invited the victim, Aoyagi Tsuyu, to his home. Taking advantage of the inability to provide separate bedding, he coerced the victim to sleep in the same bed. This is deemed inappropriate for adolescents of opposite sexes, and it is presumed some form of illicit interaction occurred.”

Mayoi read the indictment calmly, while Haruka fidgeted, blushing. Apparently, she’s not immune to the content. Why’d you sign up for this?

“These actions are considered highly malicious, and the prosecution seeks to sentence the defendant to castration.”

“…Castration…? Castration!?”

Mayoi’s deadpan delivery delayed my reaction. I thought the indictment was sloppy, but they dropped a bombshell at the end.

Castration, an ancient Chinese punishment, roughly means neutering. These guys are saying they’ll cut off my other self. I don’t know how serious they are, but I’m not sitting through this quietly.

Also, no way they came up with “castration.” Someone else wrote this indictment. Rando-dono, Ai-chan, and Shoki tilted their heads at the word, a natural reaction.

Dreading it, I glanced at the spectator seats. Among the four seated properly, one idiot was leaning forward, covering his mouth with his right hand.

No surprise—it’s the victim’s brother, Aoyagi Uryu. He should be holding a grudge against me, but he’s clearly just enjoying this. You jerk, you’re the one who should be castrated for toying with me.

Three out of four spectators laughing is absurd. At least Tsuyu should look serious—she’s the supposed victim.

“Defense, any objections to the indictment?”

The judge passed the floor to the attorney.

Obviously, it’s full of objections. Even if it were accurate, admitting it would mean castration. Unacceptable. Horimoto Shoki, as a fellow man, say it strong.

“Uh, I don’t really get it.”

This guy’s hopeless. I feel zero drive to defend me. Even if he thinks I’m not worth it, a lawyer’s job is to fight for the defendant. Rando-dono would’ve been better here, especially against Mayoi.

“Defendant, any objections to the indictment?”

“It’s all wrong. No way I’d do anything illicit.”

“I see. Since the prosecution and defendant disagree, we’ll proceed to evidence examination.”

“…This is still going?”

Suppressing a sigh, I let Izumo’s proceedings take over. Does she have an actual resolution in mind? If this elaborate setup ends in a lame punchline, I won’t forgive her. And castration’s off the table.

“Prosecution, go ahead.”

“Yes. We call a witness who heard suspicious remarks from the defendant.”

“Witness?”

At Mayoi’s words, Uryu, who’d been struggling to stifle laughter, stood.

This guy’s trying to frame me for his own amusement? Fine, if he lies, I’ll counter precisely. Try cornering me with just the truth.

“Witness Aoyagi Uryu. Before inviting the victim to his home, the defendant made remarks suggesting illicit intentions. It’s hard to believe it remained an attempt.”

This jerk! He’s hitting exactly where it hurts most!

“Maybe I’ll have to teach her with my body. Don’t complain if we spend a lascivious night.”

I said it, okay? I said it to freak Uryu out. But you know Tsuyu said nothing happened, right? You’re saying this knowing that, aren’t you?

“Defendant, any objections to this statement?”

“Well, the statement’s true, but I didn’t act on it.”

“So, you acknowledge making the statement to the witness?”

“Yeah, I guess…”

Is this mock trial just a public execution? My privacy’s being laid bare—shouldn’t that be the bigger crime? Not that I care about it being exposed.

I checked Tsuyu again. She was smiling shyly, hands on her cheeks. No damage to her, apparently. Tough kid.

If I don’t need to worry about Tsuyu, I’ll just keep denying everything. I’ve got no choice but to rely on Shoki, unreliable as he is. The prosecution’s got a witness—surely we’ve got something.

“Defense, your turn.”

“Nothing in particular.”

“Nothing!?”

I nearly yelled, “What a day!” but suppressed my inner comedian and glared at Shoki.

(Nothing!? You’re my lawyer!)

(I’ve got nothing! They just told me to stand here and say “nothing”!)

What a rigged trial. Is this allowed in a courtroom? I slumped in defeat.

Am I really going to lose my other self? As I wallowed in despair—

“The victim states there was no illicit interaction with the defendant.”

As if to back me up, the victim herself started testifying. What’s this, the victim defending the defendant?

“So, you only slept in the same bed?”

“We just had something we couldn’t compromise on—nothing happened. I explained this on the way back, didn’t I?”

A sad, pathetic sound escaped me. The victim says nothing happened, so why’s this trial still going? Is this some kind of late-night high? It’s only 9 p.m., damn it.

“Now, the verdict.”

With a tap-tap, Izumo finally put an end to this surprisingly elaborate farce.

“While no direct illicit interaction occurred, sleeping in the same bed warrants serious caution.”

She’s not wrong. It’s unusual for teens who aren’t dating to sleep together. Now that it’s out, I deserve a scolding. But I won’t accept an unfair verdict.

“Thus, to prevent recurrence, contact between the defendant and victim is prohibited tonight.”

“Eh!?”

I thought it was a fair (barely a) punishment, but Tsuyu, clearly unhappy, protested strongly.

“I object, Your Honor! Nothing would happen even without that!”

“They say if it happens twice, it’ll happen a third time. Prevention is natural.”

“It’s only happened once! Not twice!”

“This ruling considers the victim’s well-being. Please understand.”

“Talking in front of everyone’s fine, right? That’s no issue!”

“Unfortunately, the ruling stands. Please wait until tomorrow morning.”

“Ugh, it’s fine! Even if something happened…”

Judge, silence the victim. She’s a walking landmine, spewing bombs left and right.