My Popular-as-Hell Best Friend Is Annoying, So I Want to Get Him a Girlfriend and Shut Him Up - Chapter 101 & 102 & 103

Chapter 101: Best Buddies

Determined to avoid any more unnecessary conversation, I end the talk with Mom and return to Tsuyu, waiting by the bathroom.

“For now, I got my parents’ approval.”

“Thank you, for everything.”

I don’t mention Mom’s earlier words to Tsuyu, who’s showing gratitude.

No need to stir up anxiety with irrelevant stuff—some things are better left unsaid.

“Hm? What’s that?”

I notice Tsuyu holding a plastic bag she didn’t have when she came out of the bathroom.

When I point it out, she hides it behind her back for no reason.

I don’t care what’s in it, but why hide it?

“It’s, um, nothing to worry about!”

“Uh, okay.”

Her loud insistence stops me from prying further.

I doubt she’s stealing anything from the bathroom, so whatever.

“Back to the point—my parents are cool with you staying. If you’re in trouble, rely on Dad. As long as you don’t demand something crazy like changing tax rates, he’ll help.”

“For you to say that, Yukiya-san, your dad must be truly amazing.”

“Haha, exactly. No one’s more noble than Dad—remember that.”

“Yes! It’s etched in my mind!”

Tsuyu replies cheerfully.

Knowing she doesn’t have to go home yet might’ve calmed her down.

“But Tsuyu, watch out for my mom. She’s a world-class troublemaker who drops bombs with a straight face.”

“R-Really?”

“Yup. If she asks for agreement, say, ‘That’s just in your world, right?’ If she questions you, dodge with, ‘I don’t quite understand.’”

“Won’t that make me look weird!?”

“It’s fine. If it gets bad, lean on Dad. He’ll translate Mom’s nonsense.”

“…Your mom’s not foreign, right?”

“Pure Japanese.”

“R-Right.”

Tsuyu tilts her head, puzzled by my spot-on advice.

I didn’t think it was complicated, but something’s tripping her up.

“Alright, let’s roll!”

“Yes!”

Tsuyu follows me without much nervousness, even seeming excited.

Meeting Dad first was probably a good call.

I take her to the living room to introduce her to Dad (and Mom).

Facing them, Tsuyu’s self-introduction stumbles a bit, but Dad’s follow-up keeps things warm.

Mom doesn’t join in, just stuffs her face with dinner.

Was she a hamster in a past life?

“Dad, I’m gonna shower. Look after Tsuyu for a bit?”

“You got it.”

“Also, can you give her my dinner? We were hectic, so she hasn’t eaten.”

“Eh!? No, that’s too much!”

Tsuyu, catching that, protests immediately.

She doesn’t know I went to the family restaurant, so it’s understandable.

I explain to convince her, then head to the bathroom.

I played a bit in the sports festival, so I’d love a long soak, but I’m worried about Tsuyu, so I’ll just shower and head back.

Mom’s unusual interest bothers me.

Dad can handle her, but he rarely stops her antics.

I’ll rinse off and separate Tsuyu from Mom ASAP—that’s my mission.

Still, body maintenance matters.

Cleaning from head to toe takes about 15 minutes.

Nothing should happen in just 15 minutes, right?

I dry my hair thoroughly and return to the living room.

A quick note: opening the living room door, you first see the dining table with four chairs, the kitchen to the left, and the lounge area to the far right.

I assumed Tsuyu was eating, so I expected to see her at the table.

If Dad was keeping her company, I’d catch them chatting amicably.

That’s the peaceful scene I pictured.

But reality’s different.

The table’s empty, the dishes cleared.

Shifting my gaze slowly right, I see the Hirose couple and my acquaintance sitting in front of the TV.

No, that’s not quite right.

Tsuyu’s sitting in front of the TV, holding a game controller with her legs relaxed.

That’s fine. I want to grill her for an hour about why she’s gaming, but that’s not the issue.

The problem is Mom, sprawled out, using Dad—who’s sitting cross-legged—as a chair.

How can she be this carefree with a guest here?

Chapter 102: Desertion Before the Enemy

“What the hell are you doing?!”

Unable to bear the sight before me, I couldn’t help but blurt that out.

Tsuyu, who had been focused on the TV screen, flinched with a start, her shoulders jerking up and down, but my parents were as nonchalant as ever.

Mom ignored me, engrossed in the game, while Dad turned to me with a smile.

“Oh, Yuu-kun, you’re back quick. Did you soak properly in the bath?”

“I wanted to, but I didn’t! I got worried and came out early, and sure enough, this is what I find!”

“Sure enough?”

“It’s Mom! Why is she so damn relaxed?!”

Only when her name came up did Mom finally turn to me, looking annoyed.

What’s with those “this has nothing to do with me” eyes?

You’re usually the epicenter of this house’s chaos, aren’t you!?

“It’s my house, so, like, normal.”

“You’ve got a guest! Don’t you think it’s embarrassing to act like this in front of someone else’s kid?!”

“I got permission.”

Saying that, Mom’s gaze shifted to Tsuyu.

“Um, well, she asked if it was okay to act like usual, so I said it was fine…”

“Of course she’d say that! Why are you taking her seriously?!”

“Yuu-kun, calm down. Your mom’s tired from work.”

“Dad, you’re too soft on her! That’s why she gets so smug!”

“I’m not smug. It’s normal.”

“If it was normal, I wouldn’t be saying all this!”

Ugh, my head’s starting to hurt.

What even is “normal”?

Is it normal to be all cozy and clingy in front of your son’s friend?

No way in hell, you idiot.

“Yukiya, you’re being too loud. I can’t focus on the game.”

“Huh?”

At Mom’s words, I glanced at the TV screen, where footage from an early Batofami game was playing.

It was a 1v3 team battle—Mom versus Tsuyu and two computer players—but Tsuyu and one computer were already gone from the field, and soon after, the second computer was taken out.

She said she couldn’t focus, but it was an effortless victory.

“Mother, aren’t you way too strong?! I feel like you’re even stronger than Yukiya-san!”

“Obviously. Undefeated so far.”

“HAAAAH?!”

My mother finally crossed the line, touching my reverse scale.

Sure, I’ve lost to her over and over.

She never went easy on me, even as a beginner, so I’ve been grinding at Batofami to beat her.

We haven’t faced off in nearly a month, and if she thinks she’s still better than me, she’s dead wrong.

“Tsuyu, hand me the controller. I’ll show you who’s really stronger.”

“Y-Yes!”

I took the controller from Tsuyu and turned off the two computer players.

A 1v1 serious match with two lives each—today, I’ll make this game-freak woman taste defeat.

“Hey, how long are you gonna stay like that? Sit up properly.”

Despite this being a serious match with me, my mother was still sprawled out, not changing her posture.

What, is she already making excuses for when she loses?

“This is fine. I’ll win anyway.”

Click.

My anger’s about to set my heart ablaze.

She’s underestimating me to the end—too late to regret that choice now!

I picked my trusty dinosaur character in red, the one I’ve been with for over a decade, to take down this devil of a mother.

Come on!

What’re you picking?

“Which one’s good?”

“Hmm, maybe the pink round one?”

“Got it.”

HUH?!

This woman’s letting Dad pick her character?!

Is she screwing around?

This is a serious match!

Does she think she can beat me with such a half-assed character choice?!

So annoying, so damn annoying—I’ll make her squeal in defeat!

The field was randomly set to a simple stage, with the dinosaur facing the pink character.

At the “Go” signal, I immediately backed off to create distance, but Mom closed the gap in an instant.

I’d read her move and shifted to a throw, but she’d read that, stopping suddenly and landing a flurry of side kicks with perfect timing.

The stage was small, so any mistake meant getting knocked out easily.

I tried a big jump to recover, but she hit me with a downward kick from above, sending me plummeting.

Less than ten seconds into the match, I’d already lost one life.

“High, high, high!”

Her taunting spam was so infuriating I nearly snapped, but I held it together.

Tch, no need to panic.

Getting taken out in a flash means I can turn it around just as fast.

A comeback victory against an opponent I always lose to—what a beautiful flow.

Using my invincibility time after respawning, I rushed her, but Mom focused entirely on dodging.

The pink character, strong in aerial combat, was tough for my dinosaur to pin down.

I landed a few weak hits, but couldn’t deal big damage before my invincibility ran out.

From there, we kept a moderate distance, trading hit-and-run attacks.

If I could throw off her balance, I could take a life in one go, but we were both moving to prevent that.

My hands were flying, but as the screen started to feel less vibrant, an item appeared right in front of me.

Ha, even God’s telling me to win.

He wants a thrilling comeback.

Why else would an item show up in this stalemate?

I grabbed the item—and the instant I did, it exploded.

My dinosaur floated out of bounds, unable to jump, and fell.

I lost without taking a single life from Mom.

“Easy win.”

“Hold on!! Items don’t count—that’s not real skill!”

“You went for it right away, didn’t you?”

“No memory of that! No items means no items!”

“Bad loser.”

“Shut up, shut up! Next match!”

“…Which one’s good?”

“How about the red-hat guy next?”

“Pick your own!!”

Still completely underestimated, we went into the second match with no items.

The stage was wider, with planes attacking, but I got hit with a relentless combo and lost a life.

Then, the planes hit me twice, and she capitalized on the opening to knock me out again. Second loss.

“Are you even trying?”

“How am I supposed to win with this bad luck?! I’m picking the stage! That’s fair!!”

“What’s your next excuse?”

“I! Will! Win!!”

But in the next three matches, I didn’t take a single life from her.

She used a different character each time, and I still couldn’t win.

“Come back when you’re ready.”

“Grr…!”

Why?

Why can’t I win no matter how hard I try?

I’ve poured all my love into this one dinosaur, and I keep losing to this… this cheater…

“Damn it!! I’ll definitely win next time!!”

I slammed the controller down, spat out a parting shot, and stormed out of the living room.

This isn’t a loss—it’s a strategic retreat.

I let my guard down because of her stupid posture.

If not for that, I would’ve won.

Yeah, it’s my carelessness that caused this defeat…

Wait, I still lost, didn’t I?

C-Calm down, me.

Count primes to cool off.

Next time, I’ll claim victory.

Today’s loss is just a stepping stone for the next win!

I’ve pretty much got her moves figured out—there’s no way I’ll lose my cool again.

…Wait, didn’t I think the exact same thing last time I lost?

Feeling a slight sense of déjà vu, I resolved to win next time and headed back to my room.

Chapter 103: The Main Issue

My room is laid out so that when you open the door, there’s a wardrobe on the right, the bed right in front of you on the left, and the study desk deeper in.

The bed is a low loft bed, so there’s space underneath for bookshelves.

It’s a perfectly comfortable layout for daily life.

I sit down on the chair in front of the desk and try to gather my thoughts.

…Damn it, I left Tsuyu in the living room.

Even though I was pissed at Mom, I regret acting on pure impulse.

If I think back to my original goal, none of this makes sense unless Tsuyu is here with me.

Still, I do have a tiny bit of pride.

After making a strategic retreat, I don’t want to slink back to the living room just to call her.

And honestly, I don’t want to see Mom’s face again right now.

Well, if Tsuyu is getting along with Dad, I’m not going to interrupt that just to drag her here.

It’s just past 9 p.m. even though we played Batofami pretty hard; delaying the real talk by another hour won’t push us into tomorrow.

So, short break.

I pull a book called “History of Pirates” from the shelf and think to myself, man, being a pirate doesn’t look fun at all, when there’s a knock at the door.

“It’s open.”

When I call out, the door slowly opens. “Excuse me~” The person who slips in timidly is Tsuyu.

“Already done down there?”

“Spending time with Yukiya-san’s parents was fun, but… I started feeling like I was intruding.”

“Sorry. My parents have zero sense of place.”

Unfortunately, that’s their normal mode.

Dad indulges every one of Mom’s selfish whims, and the result is a scene too cringeworthy to watch.

Even I, their son, feel resistance; of course an outsider like Tsuyu would feel uncomfortable.

As one of the parties involved, please let me apologize properly.

“No, no! It was really heartwarming watching how close they are.”

Tsuyu smiles cutely, but… isn’t that the kind of thing adults usually feel toward children?

A middle school girl finding a couple in their forties “heartwarming”… yeah, that’s definitely weird.

Though Mom does act (and kinda look) like a kid.

“Whatever. Since you finished talking with them and came here, I can take that as the signal to get to the main topic, right?”

“…Yes.”

Tsuyu’s smiling expression instantly turns serious.

Today isn’t about having a fun sleepover with Tsuyu.

It’s also not about getting along with my parents.

The purpose is to hear what happened when Tsuyu consulted her parents about her future plans, the fight that followed, and, if necessary, come up with countermeasures.

“Alright. Sit there and tell me everything.”

I have her sit on the cushion I prepared earlier, then look at her slightly from above while remaining in my chair.

Tsuyu folds her legs out from seiza and, after a short pause, lowers her gaze to the floor and begins.

“This evening, for the first time in a while, Dad finally had some free time.”

Tsuyu’s father is the president of a huge corporate group and is rarely home.

Even when he is, he rarely has time to spare.

But today he finally made time just for Tsuyu.

“But he kept saying he had work at 7 p.m., so he was rushing me, and I got sulky right from the start… Still, Mom listened together with us.”

“What did you tell them?”

“That I want to go to the same high school as Onii-chan.”

“…………”

Hearing that, I instantly understood why it didn’t go well.

I don’t know how Tsuyu has talked to her parents before, but this approach was never going to work.

“Then Dad snapped, ‘Why would you suddenly say something like that!?’ Mom also said negatively, ‘What’s wrong, Tsuyu? Please don’t say that,’ so I got emotional too…”

“And you fought and ran away from home.”

“…Yes.”

After that, Tsuyu passionately recounted the contents of their heated argument.

Things like “It’s unthinkable that you’d want to leave the school your mother graduated from” and “Even Hisame complained but still graduated there.” Or Tsuyu firing back, “I didn’t go there because I wanted to!” and “Onee-chan and I are different!”

It seems her mother didn’t join the argument, but I can easily imagine how she felt watching it.

I stand up from the chair, sit on the floor in front of Tsuyu who’s hanging her head, and lightly chop the top of her head.

“Idiot. If you want to persuade them, how did you plan to wrap things up by getting just as angry as they did?”

Tsuyu looks up at me with moist eyes.

She seems to regret letting her emotions take over.

“It’s no wonder your dad got emotional. You said something that would make him emotional. So, Tsuyu—what should you actually have done?”

“…I should have stayed calm and talked without getting emotional.”

“Exactly. He’s not angry because he hates you. He’s angry because he can’t accept it. He believed you’d grow by going to that school, yet now you say you want to change schools. As a parent he can’t accept that—so you have to make him accept it. Attacking head-on is fine, but there are plenty of ways to chip away from the side.”

“From the side?”

“Yeah. Even if you can’t get your father’s approval right away, if you can get your mother on your side, the whole situation flips.”

“My mother…”

I take one deep breath and tell her what I think Tsuyu’s mother is feeling.

“Your mom was making a constantly worried face the whole time, right? More worried than angry.”

“Y-Yes… I was arguing with Dad so I didn’t notice much, but I think you’re right. How did you know?”

“It’s not that I knew—I just put myself in your mother’s position. Did you properly explain that wanting to change schools comes from a positive feeling?”

“A positive feeling…?”

“Your mom might be thinking you’re not enjoying school life at all right now, you know?”

Tsuyu’s face changes as if she’s been struck by lightning.

That was the first thing that crossed my mind too when Tsuyu told me on the train.

It wouldn’t be strange for her mother to imagine the same thing.

“She might be picturing strict teachers or you being bullied by classmates. If she thinks something like that might be happening at the school she happily graduated from, of course she’ll worry. So first you have to tell her clearly: it’s not that you hate your mother’s alma mater and want to escape. It’s for a much more positive reason—you want to go to Yourei High with Uryu. Just to confirm, you don’t actually hate your current school, right?”

“N-No! I have friends, and the teachers are all kind to me!”

“But you still want to go to Yourei High, right?”

“…Yes, that’s right.”

Tsuyu says it with a determined eyes.

She’s saying that even if it means giving up her current comfortable environment, she wants to grow in a new one.

Then, just like I said earlier, we have to make both of them accept it.

“Okay, Tsuyu. Next, put yourself in your father’s shoes. If you changed schools, what would he worry about?”

“Um… what kind of school Yourei High is?”

“Wrong for this case. Your dad is an alumnus of Yourei High, isn’t he?”

“Ah, right. He probably knows it pretty well.”

“The academic standard is high, club activities aren’t particularly strong but everyone is expected to participate. If you explain that again, he won’t be able to say the school itself is bad. Anything else?”

“Uh… give me a second.”

“I’ll go first then—he might worry that it’s co-ed. You’re pretty, Tsuyu, so he might be anxious about guys hitting on you.”

“R-Really?”

Tsuyu blushes faintly and scratches her cheek. She must be used to being called pretty, yet she reacts so innocently.

“Well, that’s exactly why you should use Uryu. You can rely on your big brother as much as you want for the first year at least. Just say if you ever have trouble you’ll ask Onii-chan.”

“From my point of view Yukiya-san is way more reliable though.”

“If you bring up my name and make him wary for no reason, what then? Put up with using Uryu here.”

“Hmm… I don’t mind using Onii-chan’s name, but…”

“Something worrying you?”

“No, it’s just… if it’s Dad, he’ll probably say ‘What will you do after Uryuu graduates?’”

“Oh, nice one, Tsuyu. Let’s think up as many of his possible worries as we can and prepare answers for them. If you can make him think ‘then I guess it’s okay,’ it’s your win.”

“Y-Yes! I’ll come up with lots!”

“That’s the spirit.”

And so, for a while, Tsuyu and I worked together on strategies to deal with her parents.

※

So that next time she talks to them, they will properly listen to Tsuyu’s true feelings.