My Mental Choices Are Completely Interfering with My School Romantic Comedy

Volume 3 Chapter 4.3:

It was bouncing.

Right beside me, that mass known as oppai was jiggling with an unholy tayun-tayun motion.

“Stop sneaking side glances just because it’s jiggling. It’s gross, you perv.”

Ugh… she noticed.

“S-Sorry. It just kinda… happened.”

Still, the way it bounced so naturally—it didn’t look like there were any enhancements involved.

“Hard to believe there’s silicone in there…”

“!?”

Reikadou’s face twisted into a stiff grimace, and her pace noticeably slowed.

Crap. I didn’t mean anything by it, but the words just slipped out.

“Ah—no, just forget I said that.”

I braced myself for a barrage of insults, but instead, Reikadou looked… anxious. Like a cornered animal, wary and nervous, her face full of tension.

“W-What… what do you want from me…?”

“Huh? Want? What’re you talking about?”

“D-Don’t play dumb! You dropped that little hint about my secret just to make me do something indecent, didn’t you?!”

“NO I DIDN’T! What kind of logic is that?!”

Seriously, where the hell did that leap of thought come from?

“B-Because! Every manga I’ve read does it that way!”

“…Wait. Hold on. What exactly are you reading?”

“I-I can’t help it! It’s not like I actually like manga or anything! But my big brother keeps dumping all his books in my room since his shelves are full! And he always says it with this weirdly innocent smile—‘Think of these as textbooks for sex ed.’”

“…Your brother needs therapy.”

“According to him, he gets off on watching me get flustered reading dirty stuff. Says it makes him feel ‘innocently excited.’”

“THAT’S A WHOLE NEW LEVEL OF DEGENERATE!!”

Between Ouka Yuuouji’s parents and now Reikadou’s freak of a brother, is it just me or are all the weirdos in my life spawning from equally weird families? …Whatever. Let’s steer this back to the original (questionable) topic.

“Anyway, like… why would you even get implants in the first place?”

No matter how much you tamper with your body, you can’t naturally reach that level of volume, right? You need a solid foundation to even get close to this territory.

Take Yukihira, for example—even if she went full silicone, I doubt she’d ever look like that. …Actually, if she heard me say that, I’d probably die.

Anyway, my point is: Reikadou must’ve already had way above-average volume from the start. So what was the point in making it even bigger? Honestly, her current chest size feels biologically implausible.

“T-That’s because… my childhood friend, the one who lives next door, kept saying ‘The bigger the boobs, the better!’ At first, I thought he was just being a dumbass, but he’d say it over and over again, with this sparkly look in his eyes every time, and eventually… I just… gave in and got the surgery… W-Wait, what the hell are you making me say!?”

“You’re the one who said it!!”

She randomly goes into dere-mode and then immediately snaps—she could sell this as a comedy routine.

We kept walking for a bit, and eventually reached a place called the Water Survival Game Area. I stopped dead in my tracks.

“W-What the hell is this…?”

Smack in the middle of a pool, a massive rocky structure had been plopped down. Overgrown vines and twisty plants crawled all over it, making it look like a mini jungle.

Of course, it was probably all fake—including the rocks—but from a distance, it looked startlingly real.

The water barely reached ankle height, making it a weird sight for a pool, but if it’s meant as a survival game battlefield, then… okay, fair enough.

So no, my confusion wasn’t about the scenery itself.

All around the pool—scattered in every corner—were unconscious guys foaming at the mouth, their eyes rolled back. Even up on the rocks, more bodies lay collapsed, like they’d fought to the death and lost.

“What the hell… happened here…?”

As I murmured in disbelief, a familiar voice rang out from the highest point of the rocky formation.

《We did it! All enemies eliminated, onii-chan-tachi~!》

“““UWOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH!!”””

A chorus of crazed screams erupted from the group of guys surrounding Yuragi, who held a loudspeaker in hand. They hoisted their massive water guns in triumph like they’d just stormed Normandy.

《Ah! Kanade-onii-chan~!》

Noticing me at last, Yuragi waved frantically from above, beaming like a war goddess.

…This is hopeless. I seriously have no idea what’s going on here.

To get a better grasp of the situation, I called out to a nearby staff onee-san.

“Um, excuse me… I’m kind of affiliated with that pink-haired girl up there, but, uh, what exactly is happening here?”

“Ahh, well… so the thing is…”

The onee-san gave a wry smile as she began her explanation.

This “Water Survival Game Area” might have the word sabagee in the name, but apparently it’s more of a chill, casual space where you’re handed a water gun and told, “Go play however you like.”

But when enough people gather, they do occasionally organize team battles. And today, a nearby university’s Sabagee Kenkyuukai (Survival Game Research Club) had the place reserved.

That’s when tragedy struck. Yuragi, wandering around in search of her “onii-chan,” happened to stumble into the area.

At first, the students had been enjoying themselves in a friendly match—split between the “Eastern Army” and “Western Army.” But once Yuragi barged in, the whole battlefield got obliterated. The teams were instantly restructured into “Imouto-ha” (Little Sister Faction) and the “Onee-san Faction + Others United Front.”

What followed was a massive civil war.

Then, the imouto faction—brainwashed and half-berserk—unleashed overwhelming power, utterly trampling their enemies. The others were mercilessly crushed and forced to taste bitter defeat.

…Yeah. Yuragi has always been scarily good at manipulating people and riling up crowds. Back in middle school, she had almost the entire class of boys believing she was their little sister, worshipping her to the point the homeroom was on the verge of total collapse.

Apparently, being surrounded by a horde of “onii-chans” and reigning as the supreme imouto gives her a twisted sense of bliss. …Why the hell am I childhood friends with this menace?

Honestly, I wanted to pretend I saw nothing and walk away… but then I remembered the look in Kaichou’s eyes.

I can’t leave. Not until I drag Yuragi down from there.

No helping it. If I gotta do this, I need intel first. I turned back to the onee-san.

“One thing I don’t get… Why are they all using those ridiculously strong water guns?”

From the looks of it, all the victims were out cold. The sheer pressure of those things was way too dangerous for something supposedly available for general use.

“Ah… see, normally the water pressure is fixed at a safe level. The college students were using them like that at first too, but… after that girl showed up, a few of them started losing it. One guy disabled the lock and messed with the water pressure, and once that started, everyone followed suit…”

…Yuragi’s brainwashing is terrifying.

“Still, now that things have gotten this out of hand, wouldn’t it be better to force a shutdown?”

“Well… the thing is, none of the imouto faction folks will listen to a word we say. I couldn’t do anything, so I checked with my supervisor, and they said, ‘The crowd’s hyped up, and it looks fun, so it’s fine.’”

Is it really though…?! Sure, I guess there’s a crowd of curious bystanders, but still…

《Yuragiiiii!》

I borrowed the onee-san’s megaphone and shouted up toward the rocks.

《Onii-chan, whaaaat~?》

《Cut the nonsense and get down here, now!》

《Ufufu, even if it’s my beloved onii-chan asking, I can’t obey. Right now, I’m in the middle of my shifuku no toki—my blissful time—being surrounded by many onii-chans acting as my arms and legs~》

《If you won’t listen, I’m coming up there and dragging you down by force!》

《My onii-chan, coming to reclaim me… while many other onii-chans try to stop him… Haa… haa…》

…She’s done for. That’s the face of someone in end-stage imouto syndrome. I have no choice. I’ll have to settle this by force.

“But even so… how the hell do I go about this?”

“I don’t like this one bit.”

A voice spoke up beside me. Reikadou had walked up next to me, arms crossed, looking up at Yuragi with clear irritation.

“What’s wrong, Reikadou?”

“That pink-haired little girl. Acting all queenly while commanding a pack of lowly beasts… It’s as if she’s forgotten her place. Ignoring my existence and acting like she’s some kind of big deal—who does she think she is?”

…I get the feeling I’m not supposed to point out the irony here.

“I’ve decided. I’m going to crush that girl so completely she won’t know which way is up—and show her just who truly deserves to stand above others.”

Reikadou suddenly fired herself up, burning with rivalry all on her own. Well… her motives aside, if she’s going to deal with Yuragi, that works out nicely for me.

“But come on, there’s no way you can overturn this whole mess on your own.”

Reikadou scoffed, like I’d just said something ridiculously naive.

“Hmph. You think someone of my caliber would stoop to acting personally? That’s the height of idiocy. Now hand that over.”

She snatched the megaphone from my hands and raised her voice loud enough to shake the whole area.

“Listen up, all you pathetic trash heaps passed out over there!”

Her voice rang loud and clear across the battlefield.

“My name is Reikadou Ayame—the woman destined to rule over all creation!”

Whether it was the maxed-out volume or just her natural presence, the moment she started speaking, the supposedly unconscious members of the alliance began to stir—one by one, they opened their eyes.

“You didn’t fall for that pink-haired fake-imouto just because she seemed like she’d listen to whatever you said, right? That must mean you’re all hopelessly submissive do-M types who like being bossed around. In that case, I command you—lay down your worthless lives for me, you pigs!”

…Okay, yeah, what she’s saying is absolutely insane, but with every word, more of the alliance guys are regaining their energy. Their faces are lighting up again. Don’t tell me… these guys really are hardcore do-Ms…

And then, just a few minutes later—

“““Lady Ayame! Please command these filthy pigs as you see fit!!”””

Reikadou had completely seized control of the alliance.

“Once we’ve crushed that pink-haired thing, I’ll shower you all with the most savage insults I can muster!”

“““UWOOOOOOOOOHHH!!!”””

…What the hell is wrong with these guys!? Seriously!?

“What are you standing there for?”

“Huh?”

While I was watching the alliance in stunned silence, Reikadou turned to me with a cold stare.

“You go too.”

Wait, when did she prep this? A water gun was suddenly being held out to me.

“Me? Nah, I think I’ll just let the psychos handle each other, yeah?”

“Haaah? Then why did you even bother coming along in the first place? A worthless, average guy like you’s only good for putting his body on the line. Now quit whining and be my pawn.”

That was so outrageous I couldn’t even get mad. I just stood there, dumbfounded.

“Listen here, you—”

【Choose: ① Obediently follow orders and head into battle.

② There’s no way I’m listening to this stuck-up girl. To teach her a lesson about the harshness of reality, blast her boobs with a water shot.】

Yeah, okay, I really wanna go with Option ②, but there’s one thing holding me back… If I actually did it, Reikadou’s swimsuit would probably explode right off her. I mean, it’s basically just a strip of fabric at this point.

“Hurry up already, didn’t I tell you to go?”

Ugh… Girl, don’t you realize your boobs’ fate is literally in my hands right now?

…Of course, that silent threat didn’t reach her at all. Reikadou just glared at me, annoyed I still wasn’t moving.

Alright then… I’ll make you understand.

In the next moment, Reikadou’s swimsuit is torn away by my shot, leaving her covering herself with her hands, eyes brimming with tears—

…………………………………………………………………………In my imagination.

“Phew… I’ll let you off the hook for now.”

Man, I’m such a gentleman. No way I could reveal those in front of this huge crowd. I have no idea how that would mess with people’s lives. Heck, even I might never recover if I saw those in full, glorious 3D.

“…Your face looks super gross right now, you know.”

Hit with Reikadou’s merciless jab, I let out a sigh and stepped back into the pool.

“—!”

A sudden chill ran down my spine, and I instinctively dove to the side. I rolled, scanning for the enemy.

There…!

Peeking out from between two fake rocks was a ridiculously tanned guy, glaring at me with pure hostility.

“W-Wait! I just want to stop Yuragi! I don’t want to fight or anything—whoa!!”

Mid-sentence—bam!—the second shot grazed my face. The burning pain on my cheek said it all: these water blasts packed serious punch.

D-dammit. This is… if I don’t take him down, I’m the one who’s gonna get wiped out!

The tanned guy clicked his tongue at his second failure, then lowered his gun to the water’s surface to refill his ammo—his fuel source: water.

This is it—my chance!

“It hurt just now… it really hurt, dammitttttttt‼”

I lunged at him mid-refill, Freeza-sama style… Huh. Guess I’m kinda getting into this too.

Even though it was a survival game club, he clearly wasn’t used to handling water guns. His refilling motion was clumsy at best.

By the time Mr. Suntan had finished, I was already within guaranteed-hit range.

“Gweh!”

My water shot nailed him square in the throat, knocking him out cold in one shot. …Man, this water pressure’s no joke.

“Fuu…”

As I wiped the cold sweat from my face and let out a sigh of relief, the rest of the battlefield was still a chaotic warzone.

《Hyahooo! Go, onii-chan-tachi, gooo!》

《More! Raise that morale, you filthy pigs!》

「「「UOOOOOOOOHHHH!!」」」

「「「LET’S FREAKIN’ DO THISSSSS!!」」」

Both sides, hyped up by their respective “faith leaders,” were entering even higher states of frenzy.

Judging by the momentum, I’d say we’re evenly matched right now.

Alright, I’ll use this chaos to sneak over to Yuragi and—

“Don’t move.”

A cold, mechanical voice.

Something icy was pressed against my back.

Crap… I didn’t even notice someone get this close…

“Drop the gun and turn around.”

…No choice but to obey in this situation.

“Like this—fuGHA?!”

As I turned, the barrel of a gun got shoved straight up my nostril.

“…Who the hell are you?”

The bald guy narrowed his eyes suspiciously. I mean, fair. This whole game’s supposed to be a closed event, and here I am, some random outsider waltzing in. Honestly, I should be glad he didn’t shoot me on sight like the last guy.

“W-wait, I’m neutral! I came to stop your pointless war!”

I had no idea which faction he was from, so I just said whatever to keep the peace.

“Neutral…”

For some reason, that word made the bald dude relax ever so slightly.

“…Mind if I talk to you for a second?”

I gave a small, desperate nod. I mean, with a barrel still stuck up my nose, it’s not like I had a choice.

“Truth is… I really, really love imouto-type girls.”

…What the hell kind of confession is that.

But hey, now I know he’s from Yuragi’s camp.

“But… but also… I’m, uh… into being dominated. I’m a full-blown do-M.”

Okay, that’s way too much information.

Why are you telling a complete stranger your deepest, darkest kinks!? Are you stupid!? Do you wanna die!?

“My love for Yuragi-chan is real, I swear it is…! But… but at the same time, I just can’t suppress this overwhelming urge to be verbally abused by Ayame-sama!”

…Dude, go talk to a therapist. Not me.

“Tell me, who should I love?! WHO SHOULD I DEVOTE MYSELF TO?!”

“Wait, why the hell would I kno—”

【Choose:

① “Imoutos are the pinnacle of existence! This entire world exists for little sisters!”

② “‘Follow me’ is outdated. It’s time for do-M guys to take over the world!”

③ Present a new possibility and ask for understanding.】

If I feed him some half-baked line, I might just make things worse. Better go with Option ③ and try to redirect his obsession somewhere else.

“Hey… ever thought of peeking into a different world?”

“A different world?”

“Yeah. Free yourself from this dumb choice between Yuragi and Reikadou. I’m talking about a new idea… something called… garter belts.”

“…”

“A new idea… Garter belts!”

“It’s not that I didn’t hear you, it’s just that…………………………………… dude, you’re a freak.”

Wait, WHAT?! Did the imouto-loving do-M just call me a pervert?!

Why won’t anyone understand?! Once you put on a garter belt, things like big sis or little sis, M or S, MILFs or lolis, big boobs or flat chests—they all become meaningless! Everything is unified under the sacred concept of garter belts! Peace through perversion!!

“What kind of joke is this? People are out here pouring their souls into this, and you’re talking about GAR-TER BELTS?!”

Uh, what? You’re telling me picking between ‘little sister’ and ‘do-M’ is a serious dilemma?!

“That’s it. Get out of my sight.”

H-hold on! That’s too fast! Way too fast to cut someone off! Are you a yutori?! Can’t handle opposing opinions so you just write everyone off—yutori! Think everything is either black or white—yutori!! And I bet you’re even older than me—wait, this isn’t the time for that! He’s seriously gonna shoot! I’ve gotta act like an imouto-lover too, before it’s too late—

“GYAAAHH!!”

Right then, a ferocious stream of water—like a cursed torrent—shot up through my nostril and surged through my body.

“FUGOOOOOOHHH!!”

“Even with the water pressure turned down… you’re tough. But next time… I will finish you off.”

The bald guy aimed the gun at me again as I writhed on the ground, flailing and soaked.

“Some filthy pig’s acting like they’ve got something to say.”

“Eh?”

Reflexively, the monk turned around, only to find that Reikadou had her gun barrel aimed at his face.

“Ah, Ayame-sama…”

“Disappear, you indecisive pig.”

Reikadou lowered the sights to his chest and pulled the trigger without hesitation.

“Gofooouuuu!”

The monk was blasted backward, losing consciousness from the impact of the shot, but for some reason, he collapsed with a strangely contented look on his face… Truly a masochist.

“Reikadou… you saved me, but why did you do it yourself?”

Wiping the mess from my face with my hand, I directed my question at Reikadou. Earlier, she had said she wouldn’t move on her own because it would be a foolish thing to do, so what kind of wind is blowing now?

“Take a look around.”

“Huh?”

The battlefield, which had been filled with shouting just moments ago, had somehow become eerily silent. Upon closer inspection, I noticed that nearly double the number of people who had been there when I arrived were now unconscious and lying on the ground… Both sides are in a state of utter destruction.

“Heh, well, for pigs that had already been beaten once, they did alright.”

Reikadou gazed with a certain enjoyment at the men lying fallen around her.

“And now, it is my duty to take down the enemy commander.”

…In other words, she just wants to take all the glory for herself.

“Heh heh heh. I accept this challenge!”

Suddenly, from behind, Yuragi’s voice echoed.

“There she is, the pink-haired one.”

“I never thought you’d go this far, Ayame-oneechan.”

Yuragi pointed her gun at us.

“Hmph… Know your place.”

“Ayame-oneechan, I won’t lose that easily!”

The two women raised their guns and faced off.

I mean, the wild rampage of the guys has calmed down, so there’s really no need for these two to fight, right?

“You two, just put the guns down and talk this out—”

Just as I stepped in between them…

“Take this!”

“Onii-chan barrier!!”

“Guuhhh!”

Reikadou fired without mercy, while Yuragi protected herself by using me as a shield.

“Protecting your sister like that… Truly, you’re my Onii-chan!”

“Which mouth are you saying that from!?”

Grabbing my side where the water bullet hit, I staggered toward Reikadou.

“R-Reikadou, you’re shooting at your own ally like this… guh…!”

This time, a water bullet from Yuragi struck me squarely in the back.

“Ah, sorry Onii-chan, I missed my aim.”

“Hey, you got a little splashed too. You’re my shield, so stand firm and protect me properly.”

“Y-You two…”

“By the way, Onii-chan, getting hit by two of those and still standing strong… You’re amazing!”

“Not strong! It hurts like hell! I nearly passed out from both hits!”

“Well, since you seem to enjoy showing people ridiculous acts and getting looked down upon, maybe physical pain is also a pleasure for you.”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m a masochist both mentally and physically, so this is… kinda… uncomfortable!”

“Now, Ayame-oneechan, let’s start over.”

“Hmph, that’s what I wanted too.”

…I mean, being ignored during a perfect setup for a comeback? That’s some embarrassing humiliation play, you know…

Forget it… I’m done. Let them do their thing, as long as this scene calms down, I’m good with whatever happens.

I wobbled away from the scene, but just as I looked back, Reikadou and Yuragi’s voices overlapped.

“This ends now!” “I’m the winner!”

Both of them fired water bullets from their guns almost simultaneously.

“Kyahh!”

The water bullet Reikadou shot grazed Yuragi’s face, narrowly missing her by a hair’s breadth, but Yuragi’s shot skimmed Reikadou’s stomach, and the impact caused her to lose her balance and fall onto her back.

“Tch…”

Yuragi, seeing Reikadou’s pained expression, didn’t give her a chance to recover. She rushed in, mounted her, and pushed the gun barrel into the gap near her chest, aiming from below.

“Ugh…”

“Heh heh. Ayame-oneechan, if you don’t surrender, the water that passed through your cleavage will immediately hit your face.”

What the hell is this… What a ridiculous sight.

“W-Wait, don’t move me like that!”

“Mufufu…”

“St-stop it, I won’t let you get away with this—”

“Looky looky…”

“St-stop it, I told you to stop… Ahn!”

With an old-man-like line, Yuragi moved the barrel of the gun in a piston-like motion, and Reikadou, struggling in agony. This… I can’t help but think this is something I need to watch more of.

I wanted to continue watching, but as they repeated this regular motion a few times, Yuragi suddenly had a questioning expression.

“Eh, something feels a bit off here…”

“!”

“Something about a certain spot feels strangely hard…”

“⁉”

Reikadou’s face flushed with shock.

Ah, this is bad. If this continues, Yuragi will figure out that Reikadou has silicone in her chest.

“Nuooooooooh!”

“Uwah!”

With a sudden yell that was surprisingly masculine, Reikadou pushed Yuragi away forcefully.

“Ugh.”

Reikadou immediately mounted Yuragi, her strength surprising even me in the moment.

“Hmph… The tables have turned.”

But despite being pinned, Yuragi wore a defiant smile.

“Heh, you’re too careless, Ayame-neechan.”

“What kind of tough talk is that from this position—Fugah!”

In the next moment, Reikadou, with her eyes rolling back, lost consciousness.

Let me explain. The water bullet that Yuragi shot up from below hit Reikadou’s underbreast. The force of the impact lifted her breasts, causing a devastating blow to her face. The brain concussion caused by the impact knocked Reikadou out!

“Mufufu, now I’ve won—Huh?”

But the battle wasn’t over yet. Just as Yuragi was certain of her victory, Reikadou’s body collapsed onto her.

“Eh, wait, no—Agh!”

Reikadou’s massive chest slammed right into Yuragi’s face.

“Ah, I can’t… breathe…”

Covered by Reikadou’s chest (somehow, the swimsuit didn’t come off), Yuragi struggled, but the weight of the unconscious body on top of her was too much. Yuragi couldn’t push Reikadou off.

“Mnn… Mnn… Mnn… Mnn…”

A few seconds later—Yuragi’s body went still.

*“Team Imouto” VS “Team Onee-chan & Allied Forces”

Double knockdown of the commanders, draw…

What the heck was that?

With an exasperated sigh at such a ridiculous conclusion, I dragged the unconscious Reikadou and Yuragi, who had passed out in the chest area, and moved them one by one to the poolside.

“Fuu…”

Alright, now Yuragi probably won’t cause any more trouble, and the president shouldn’t complain. I handed the unconscious duo over to the staff lady and asked her to take them to the infirmary.

Now, I can look for Yuuouji without worries—

“Amakusa-sa~n!”

“Uoooh!”

The sudden voice from behind startled me.

“K-Kaichou…”

When I turned around, there she was—Kokubyakuin-kaichou, smiling. This dramatic entrance is bad for my heart!

“What are you doing here? I thought you went to look for Chocolat…”

“Ah, well, I found Chocolat, but there wasn’t really any problem, so I decided to come check on this side.”

Her words reassured me a bit. I was worried about Yuragi’s behavior, but it seems like Chocolat is being calm.

“I see, then I’ll—”

“Well then, shall we go back to Chocolat together~?”

“…Why is that the plan?”