My Mental Choices Are Completely Interfering with My School Romantic Comedy

Volume 2 Chapter 3.7:

“So, what do we do now?”

Lunchtime, in the classroom of 2nd Year, Class 1.

Right now, I’m holding a single sheet of paper in my hand. It’s the official lineup for the opposing team in the upcoming battle. A second-year student council member had personally delivered it just moments ago.

Apparently, as a privilege for the previous year’s victors, the losing side is required to reveal their lineup first.

I lower my gaze back to the order sheet that was handed to me.

Opponent Team Lineup:

Vanguard: Souga Shishimori

Second: Konagi Yawakaze

Middle: Ayame Reikadou

Vice-Captain: Touya Yoshihara

Captain: Seira Kokubyakuin

Having the student council president as their captain is understandable. But having Shishimori-senpai as their vanguard… now that was a bit unexpected.

Then again, maybe not. She’s exactly the type to charge in headfirst, screaming something about “leading the charge like a suicide squad commander.”

What caught my attention more was Yoshihara, a first-year, being positioned as vice-captain. That was an eerie choice.

Well, thinking about it alone wouldn’t get us anywhere. I raised my head and sought opinions.

“Alright, so what should we do?”

“Yes, yes! I’ll take down little-emperor Konagi!”

“The pair of breasts I’m destined to crush was decided twelve thousand years ago!”

Without hesitation, Ouka and Yukihira shot back with their responses.

Judging from their attitudes at the face-off the other day, this matchup did feel inevitable… though I had a feeling both battles were going to turn into absolute disasters for entirely different reasons.

The two of them wrote their names under “Second” and “Middle” on our order sheet.

I turned toward Yuragi, who had made the effort to come all the way from the first-year classrooms, and asked for her thoughts.

“Yuragi, what about you?”

“Hmm… I wanna go against Souga-oniichan.”

Ah, right. Something about her having a lot of older brothers. They’d interacted before, hadn’t they?

“Ah! But don’t get the wrong idea! My real oniichan is only you, Kanade-oniichan!”

“…Why the hell are you calling it ‘real’…?”

Setting aside my growing sense of unease, that settled our lineup for the first half of the battle.

That just left me and Yumejima-senpai.

But even at this point, he still hadn’t shown up.

With no way to contact him, we’d have to decide without him. Logically, given the hierarchy of grade levels, it made the most sense for him to take the role of captain, while I took vice-captain.

…Which, really, was just an excuse. The truth was, I really didn’t want to go up against Kokubyakuin.

“Alright, so I’ll take vice-captain then— huh?”

A sudden weight pressed down on my shoulder.

I turned around—

“UWAH?!”

The sound that escaped me was utterly ridiculous.

Standing there was… a man wrapped head-to-toe in bandages.

On the surface of the bandages, written in thick brushstrokes, was the kanji for “Karasu” (Crow).

Wait, wait, wait.

How the hell did he get into the classroom without me noticing?

“What just happened?”

The students who noticed the man’s presence after my reaction began to murmur amongst themselves.

“Could it be… Yumejima-senpai?”

The bandaged man, unable to fully wrap his face, let the remaining bandages dangle like a scarf. He crossed his arms and nodded, almost as if to confirm the question.

“Whoa, impressive. I didn’t sense him at all.”

“Huh, this kind of fooling around is surprisingly effective.”

“This is… a whole new type of older brother.”

The girls around me responded in their own ways, each one expressing varying degrees of surprise or intrigue.

“U-um… why are you wrapped in bandages?”

Yumejima-senpai didn’t directly answer the question. Instead, he shook his head from side to side. What’s going on? Could it be that he can’t speak? I’ve never heard that rumor before. Besides, I’ve never seen someone cover their face in bandages like this.

But that’s not the only question—why the hell is he wearing a gakuran? This school is known for its relaxed dress code, but there’s no way he’s ignoring the blazer and wearing a gakuran.

I decided it was best not to delve too deeply into his oddities. After all, I’ve learned from my interactions with the girls that trying to understand a weirdo’s thinking is futile.

“So, we’re deciding the lineup. Yumejima-senpai, would you take the role of captain?”

In response to my question, Yumejima-senpai, still silent, reached into the inner pocket of his gakuran and pulled something out. What is that? It looks like a manga…

He opened to a particular page and thrust it in front of me.

“I refuse.”

The smug expression hidden beneath the bandages seemed to appear in my mind… this guy is such a fool.

Next, Yumejima-senpai pulled out a brush pen from the opposite inner pocket and wrote “Yumejima Karasu” in flowing calligraphy in the vice-captain’s section.

“Hey, don’t just write it yourself—eh?”

Before I could finish my sentence, Yumejima-senpai suddenly disappeared from my field of vision.

“Wait, how the hell did he already make it outside?!”

By the time I turned to look, he was already out in the hallway, giving me a thumbs-up before running off at full speed.

“W-what was that guy…?”

“Whoa, his movements were so ninja-like, it was cool!”

“It’s like he’s from a Tomodachi story, but is he gonna be okay?”

“Maybe he’s the fabric older brother?”

The girls continued talking amongst themselves, while I reluctantly filled in the captain’s spot with my own name.

Our Team Lineup

Vanguard: Souga Shishimori VS Yuragi Hakoniwa

Second: Konagi Yawakaze VS Ouka Yuuouji

Middle: Ayame Reikadou VS Furano Yukihira

Vice-Captain: Touya Yoshihara VS Yumejima Karasu

Captain: Seira Kokubyakuin VS Kanade Amakusa

So, by default, I ended up as the captain. Honestly, I don’t want to face Kokubyakuin. If we reach a 2-2 draw, there’s a chance the worst possible scenarios might unfold.

To be honest, I couldn’t care less about whether we win or lose. My goal this time around is to get through this without drawing attention and finish the match peacefully.

The ideal scenario would be if the results were already decided before it was my turn to fight. So, I’m hoping the four who fight before me win three times or lose three times.

Of course, I can’t exactly ask anyone to throw their matches, so I’ll have to rely on them trying their best to win.

“Alright, listen up, everyone.”

I had to say this properly. Otherwise, these idiots would definitely screw around and turn the whole match into a disaster.

“This time, it’s a serious match. No messing around. Promise me you’ll focus on winning.”

“Oh, how rude. My entire life has been a serious battle in pursuit of victory.”

Somehow, when Yukihira says it, it just reeks of dishonesty.

“Just how obsessed am I with winning? This morning, I saw two elementary school kids racing on my way to school, so I sprinted full speed past them and smugly told them, ‘Ever heard of the phrase, a race of acorns?’”

“That’s just petty!”

“Well, I was lying.”

She immediately returned to her usual deadpan expression.

“The truth is, I couldn’t catch up and gave up.”

“That’s even worse!”

Wait, so she actually tried?! I can never tell how serious she is about things.

“Don’t worry, Amacchi! I’m gonna totally, utterly, completely obliterate Konagi Taitei!”

…That is not something you should be saying to your best friend with such a sparkly expression. But, well, Ouka’s all-around talent makes her reliable no matter what kind of match it is.

“Rest easy, Onii-chan. For the sake of my Onii-chan, I will go all out and defeat Souga Onii-chan. Then, I’ll showcase my existence to the vast variety of Onii-chans in the audience!”

…At this point, I have no idea what the hell she’s even talking about anymore. I’m just gonna let her do whatever she wants.

A Team Name Problem

“Hey, hey, there’s a section for the team name here!”

Ouka pointed at the edge of the order sheet. Oh yeah, when they handed it over earlier, they told me to come up with a name too.

“Oh, that sounds fun!”

“Thinking of a name together as siblings is exciting, right?”

Yukihira and Yuragi seemed enthusiastic, but honestly, I wasn’t feeling it.

“Hmm? Amacchi, why do you look so unenthusiastic?”

“Because I know you guys are just gonna mess around, and it’s gonna turn into a complete disaster…”

I mean, I could just ignore them, but dealing with their nonsense has basically become a reflex at this point.

“Oh? What part of ‘Yukihira Furano and Her Lewd Companions’ is messing around?”

“That’s entirely messing around! Make it something more wholesome!”

“Okay, okay! How about something youthful? Like… ‘The Running Rebels Who Stole a Bike from the Hallway’!”

“That’s a crime! Make it something more peaceful!”

“Then how about ‘Onii-chan and Friends’?”

“That sounds like a children’s show! Think of a proper team name!”

“Fine then, what about ‘Yukihira Furano and the Elegantly Eccentric Okamas’?”

“That’s way too intense! Give it a name with a little more dream in it!”

“Alright, alright! Then how about ‘The Hallway Runners Who Sprint with Melos’!”

“That’s a fantasy! Use something more grounded!”

“Okay, then… ‘Onii-chan and Friends… Forever’!”

“You just made it sound yandere! That’s too close to home!”

“Alright then, ‘Yukihira Furano and a Bunch of Nobodies’!”

“That’s just strangers! Now it’s too distant! Why can’t you find a middle ground?!”

“Fine, fine! How about… ‘The Hallway Walkers Who Choose the Middle Path Instead of the Edge’!”

“That’s something Ikkyu-san would say! That’s not what I meant by middle ground! Keep it reasonable!”

“Then… ‘Onii-chan and Friends… Neither Alive Nor Dead’!”

“That sounds like a kidnapping scenario!”

“Alright then! How about… ‘Yukihira Furano and—’”

“Enough already!!!”

“Then, how about ‘Yukihira Furano and the Mismatched Parrots’?”

“Why are you bringing this up again after we already moved on?! Just how badly do you want to mess around?!”

“Well, you see, there’s been a lot of dark news in the world lately, so at the very least, shouldn’t we spend our time laughing?”

“That’s not the point here!”

“In that case, Amakusa-kun, do you have a name in mind?”

“Uh… well, now that you mention it, not really…”

And just then, the front door of the classroom swung open, and Chocolat walked in.

“Fya na defan, fon ha nihaku san hoha hi wo horahimashita!”

“Not a single word of that made any sense.”

In her mouth was a choco cornet, and her hands were completely overloaded with candy, mini donuts, marshmallows—basically an avalanche of sweets spilling from her arms. This was practically becoming a normal sight at this point…

“Oh, everyone, help yourselves!”

She plopped the pile of sweets onto my desk with a loud thud.

Yukihira, Ouka, and Yuragi each reached out for something. No matter how weird they were, they were still girls. Of course, they loved sweets.

“Oh! How about this for our team name?”

Ouka, licking an absurdly huge swirled lollipop—which, strangely enough, suited her way too well—suddenly spoke up.

“This?”

“Sweets!”

…She just blurted out what was right in front of her. Her thought process was as childlike as ever.

“I mean, Amacchi, your last name has ‘Ama’ (sweet) in it, and lots of team names end in ‘-tsu,’ right?”

“Ouka-oneechan, wouldn’t it sound more like a team name if you added ‘The’ at the beginning?”

“Oooh, good idea, good idea!”

‘The Sweets’, huh…? Well, it wasn’t good, but considering the nonsense this group had been spewing so far, it was relatively decent. At least it was better than “Furano and Her Lewd Companions,” “The Hallway Bike Thieves,” or anything involving “Onii-chan.”

Before they could come up with anything worse, I figured we should settle on this.

“Alright, we’re going with that.”

I quickly wrote “The Sweets” in the team name section. However…

“Like I said before, I really believe laughter is important.”

Muttering nonchalantly, Yukihira suddenly scribbled something next to it.

‘The Sweets (LOL)’

“That completely changes the meaning!!!”

And since she had used a permanent marker, I couldn’t erase it.

Well, I could just black it out, but… looking at her expression, I knew it was pointless. She’d just come up with another dumb joke to replace it.

“…Whatever. I’ll just submit it like this.”

“Wait a moment, Amakusa-kun. In this case, should fruit be considered part of sweets?”

“Uh… I mean, sure? (Who cares?)”

“I see. Then let’s add under the team name: ‘Except you, tomato. Get the hell out.'”

“We are not doing that!”

“Fruit tomatoes are a gray area. We’ll need a thorough debate on this later.”

“No, we won’t!”

Mission: The Final Boss

Before the match, there was one last thing I had to do.

Of course, that was getting the final “I love you” from the last target—Seira Kokubyakuin.

Holding the completed order sheet, I headed toward Class 3-3 alone.

As I peeked inside, a few upperclassmen noticed me.

“Hey, isn’t that Amakusa, the second-year?”

“Yeah, from the ‘Rejected Five’.”

“Man, such a pretty face… and yet, he’s a total pervert…”

So even the third-years had heard the rumors about me, huh? I expected as much, but hearing it firsthand still kinda stung…

Just as I was sulking, an overwhelming presence approached.

Her long, flowing hair swayed as she walked toward me.

“Oh my, if it isn’t Amakusa-san. What brings you here?”

“Kaichou, I’ve completed the order sheet, so I came to submit it.” (T/N: Kokubyakuin.)

“Oh my, oh my. How very diligent of you~.”

Kaichou placed a hand on her cheek and looked over the order sheet.

“Oh my~ how wonderful. It looks like it will be a match between you and me, Amakusa-san.”

She turned to me with a bright, pleasant smile—but that wasn’t what mattered right now.

“…Kokubyakuin-kaichou, forgive me for asking something so sudden.”

“Oh my, what is it~?”

“Do you, as a person, like me?”

The president showed no particular surprise and simply nodded.

“Yes, I don’t dislike you~.”

“So then… if we flip that around, does that mean you do like me?”

This time, she shook her head.

“No~. That word should only be used for a special man. Or so I’ve decided to say~.”

Her expression was completely unreadable. It felt like she was being genuine, yet at the same time, it was as if she was testing me—saying, “I bet this is troubling you, isn’t it?”

“Kaichou… do you perhaps know something?”

“Something? What ever do you mean~?”

She tilted her head, pressing a finger to her chin in an exaggerated gesture of innocence.

“…No, never mind.”

This was bad. A battle of wits wouldn’t end in my favor.

Watching my troubled expression, the president smiled as if she were truly enjoying herself.

“Amakusa-san, shall we make this match more interesting with a condition?”

“…A condition?”

“Yes. If the ‘Rejected Five’ win the match, I will say that one word you so desire~.”

The way she emphasized it… there was no doubt. She was fully aware of my Absolute Choice and the mission tied to it.

“And if you lose—”

She paused for a moment, then suddenly widened her eyes.