My Mental Choices Are Completely Interfering with My School Romantic Comedy - Volume 2 Chapter 3.4:

Volume 2 Chapter 3.4:

Alright, that just leaves Yukihira and the student council president, Kokubyakuin.

As the lazy afternoon atmosphere settled over the classroom, I tried to devise a plan for tackling these two formidable opponents—

“Supi—”

“Kuka—”

—but thanks to Yuuouji and Chocolat snoring away beside and behind me, I couldn’t concentrate at all.

I decided to shift my focus and glanced over at Yukihira’s desk in the middle of the room. At first glance, she seemed to be diligently copying down the lecture notes… but something was off.

She wasn’t writing in her notebook—she was scribbling on some other paper. From this distance, I couldn’t make out what it was.

“Supii—”

“Kukaa—”

…So noisy.

Well, whatever Yukihira was up to during class was her business. The real issue was how to get her to say “I like you.” Bribery was obviously a joke, but going at her head-on wouldn’t work either.

I had nothing. Not a single idea.

“Supipii—”

“Kukaaa—”

“SHUT UUUUP!!”

I accidentally shouted. How the hell could these two snore so damn loudly when I was racking my brain over this?!

“Amakusa, be quiet.”

The teacher shot me a frosty glare.

“…Sorry. But these two are snoring so loud—”

“They’re quieter asleep than awake. Let them be.”

…Was that really okay coming from a teacher?

Well, I had to admit, when these two were awake, they’d constantly raise their hands, blurt out nonsense answers, and turn class into something out of elementary school.

“And Amakusa, Chocolat is your academic support pet. Make sure you take proper care of her.”

…Something about that sentence felt fundamentally wrong.

By the time the sixth period ended, the child and the dog were still snoring away, thoroughly hindering my thought process.

And just like that, homeroom ended, and Yukihira left the classroom before I could come up with anything.

Well, I’d already cleared two people today, and I still had two weeks until the May 31st deadline. But given who I was up against, I needed to start strategizing ASAP.

“Alright… what now?”

As I absentmindedly approached Yukihira’s desk, something slipped out from inside and fluttered to the ground.

“Huh? What’s this?”

I picked it up. It looked like a flyer for some event. In the center, a fluffy, round character was drawn.

“Ooooh, that’s Shirobuta-kun!” (T/N: White pig.)

A voice suddenly called out from behind me—it was Yuuouji.

“Shirobuta-kun?”

“Huh? Amacchi, you don’t know? It’s a character that UOG Toys is really pushing right now, and kids love it!”

I glanced at the flyer again. The extremely stylized, cutesy design made it easy to see why kids would be drawn to it. But of all things… why a white pig?

The text on the flyer read:

“Come play with Shirobuta-kun! A fun event for parents and kids!”

It was obviously a children’s event… so why did Yukihira have this?

“Oh, hey, there’s something written on the back,” Yuuouji pointed out.

I flipped it over.

“…The hell is this?”

A horrendously bad drawing was scrawled across the back. Next to it, in handwriting that looked straight out of elementary school, were the words:

“Shirobuta-kun is too cute! I love him!”

Only after reading the text did I realize that the drawing was supposed to be Shirobuta-kun. That’s how utterly disastrous it was.

Wait a minute… could this be what Yukihira was drawing during class?

Just then—pon—a hand landed on my shoulder.

“Huh…? Oh, Yukihira?”

Wait, didn’t she already leave the classroom?

“Amakusa-kun… what exactly is that in your hands?”

Her tone was as cold and calm as ever.

Yet… her body was visibly trembling.

“Huh? Oh, something fell out of your desk, so I just picked it up and—”

“GHHUEEEHHHH?!”

My throat!

She karate-chopped me straight in the throat!

“GAH! Koff! Koff!”

“Uuu… why is this happening to meee?!”

Clutching the flyer to her chest, she muttered something in a tiny voice before bolting out of the room.

I couldn’t make out a word of it—probably because I was still choking.

“Cough! Cough! What… what the hell was that…?”

“Kanade-san, this is hyansu!”

“Whoa!!”

Chocolat suddenly appeared right in front of me.

She had a massive piece of nukazuke in her mouth.

Who the hell was bringing something that hardcore to school?!

“…Chance?”

“Yesh! Furano-san loves Shirobuta-kun, so she wants to go to that event!”

“Nah… we’re talking about Yukihira here.”

“Kanade-san, you just don’t understand a woman’s heart! No girl hates cute things or BL!”

…If that’s what it means to understand a woman’s heart, I never want to get it.

“Okay, but even if Yukihira’s going to the event, how is that a chance for me?”

“You should join the event too! Furano-san’s heart might soften after seeing all the cute things, and then she might just listen to your request!”

“No way it works that conveniently…”

“Okay okay, question time!”

Suddenly, Yuuouji raised her hand and cut in.

“I don’t really get it, but Amacchi, you just want everyone from the student council room to say ‘I like you,’ right?”

“Well… yeah, pretty much.”

“Hmmm. This smells just like when you were dealing with Konagi-tan the other day. You don’t actually need them to like you, you just need them to say it, right?”

Her animal instincts were way too sharp… but I couldn’t just nod recklessly. If she dug any deeper, my brain would probably go into self-defense shutdown mode.

Still, Yuuouji seemed to take one look at my face and confirm her suspicion.

“I see… alright, I’m not feeling fuzzy about it today.”

She mumbled something under her breath before suddenly snapping her head up.

“Mufufu, I’ve got a great idea!”

“A great idea?”

“I actually think Chocolatchi’s plan is pretty solid! But just going to the event isn’t enough—we need to go inside!”

“…Huh?”

“Yeah! So basically, you should be the one inside Shirobuta-kun’s costume! That way, Furano-chi is guaranteed to say she likes you!”

She said it like it was the most natural thing in the world.

“Wait, inside the costume?! Don’t these kinds of things usually have trained professionals?”

“Well, normally, yeah! But see, Shirobuta-kun’s whole character backstory is that he’s traumatized and has multiple personalities. So on purpose, they switch out the person inside every single time!”

…Why the hell does a children’s mascot have a backstory that heavy?!

“They don’t wanna lock in a fixed image for him, so they always use part-time workers. Actually, I heard that the guy doing it this time was just gonna be some random person they scouted on the streets the day before. Sooo, I’ll talk to the event manager and get you in!”

“Wait, I never agreed to—”

“DE-CI-DED!”

“…Yuuouji, you’re having fun with this, aren’t you?”

“That’s exaaactly right!”

…Her eyes were sparkling so much, I couldn’t say anything back.

***

And so, on Sunday, two days later…

From the designated station, it was just a two or three-minute walk to the event site. Once I got there, I saw that a temporary event space and a small stage had already been set up. There were over 200 chairs, at least. I had imagined something much more low-budget, but this looked surprisingly professional.

As I looked around, wondering what to do next, a man in his late 30s approached me.

“Ah, you must be Amakusa Kanade-kun, right? I’m Endou, the one managing today’s event. I’ve heard from Ouka-chan. Looking forward to working with you today!”

“Ah, likewise! Sorry for the sudden and kinda weird request.”

“No no, Shirobuta-kun is actually better when it’s a complete amateur inside!”

The man who introduced himself as Endou seemed really easygoing.

After greeting the MC lady and the staff, we moved to the back of the stage, where I would actually try on the Shirobuta-kun costume.

The mascot’s body was already pretty stubby, but once I put it on, I realized the inside was way more spacious than I expected. Probably so that no matter who’s inside, the external shape stays the same.

That said, the suit was still pretty heavy, and definitely not easy to move in. But at least the eye holes had a ton of tiny perforations, so my field of vision was surprisingly good.

After trying it on, I took off the costume and went over the event flow with the MC lady.

Apparently, this wasn’t some hero show with a scripted story or action sequences. Instead, I just had to follow the MC’s lead and interact with the kids. That… sounded manageable.

“By the way, has Yuuouji shown up yet?”

She had been so hyped about this, but I hadn’t seen her anywhere. So I asked Endou-san.

“Oh, Ouka-chan? Apparently, she was way too excited for today’s event and got so worked up that she couldn’t sleep at all last night. So, her family called in to say she’s currently passed out cold and won’t be coming.”

…She’s like an elementary school kid before a field trip.

By the way, Chocolat was supposed to come along too, but when I tried waking her up, she was once again having a dream about me being attacked by some random homo. So I clamped a clothespin on her nose and left her there.

If Yukihira doesn’t show up either, I really have no idea what I’m even doing here…

And then, with all those doubts still in my head…

Showtime.

《Miiinnaa, Konnichiwaaa!》

「「「Konnichiwaaa!」」」

The MC’s high-energy voice blasted through the mic, and the kids’ response was just as loud.

I had been waiting backstage the whole time, so I hadn’t seen the crowd, but judging by the energy, the place was probably packed.

After a few minutes of the MC’s opening talk, my cue finally came.

《And now, the moment you’ve all been waiting for! Here comes… Shirobuta-kun!》

At her signal, I wobbled up onto the stage.

“Shirobuta-kun!!”

All the kids’ eyes lit up at once.

Whoa… Shirobuta-kun is this popular?

To prove that point, every time I made a simple little gesture, just as the MC instructed, a cheer erupted from the audience. I repeated this for a while, and then…

《Alright, now it’s time for some one-on-one fun with Shirobuta-kun!》

Led by the MC, I stepped down from the stage.

“Waaah!”

“So cute!”

“Fluffy!”

The kids swarmed me at full speed.

《Okay, okay! Shirobuta-kun won’t run away, so no need to rush, everyone!》

Yeah… like that’s gonna work.

Completely surrounded, I just waved my hands, patted heads, and somehow survived.

After a while, I finally started getting the hang of it and took the chance to scan the area for today’s main target—Yukihira.

That said… even if she loves this character, would she really show up to an event for little kids?

While playing along with the children, I carefully checked my surroundings.

…Found her.

Standing way in the back, even beyond the event space, half-hidden behind a building, was a girl peeking out at me.

A short bob that shimmered like fresh snow.

Eyes with a reddish tint.

A perfectly blank expression.

It was unmistakably Yukihira.

The moment she realized that I—Shirobuta-kun—was looking at her, she calmly turned away, as if nothing had happened.

Even so, I kept checking in on her while dealing with the kids.

Her face remained unreadable, but she would stare at me for long moments, or even take pictures with her digital camera. Yet, every time she noticed me watching, she would immediately stop and look away.

She was obviously interested in Shirobuta-kun… but she never once tried to come closer.

《See you next time, everyone!》

「「「Byeee!」」」

Before I knew it, time had flown by, and the event had wrapped up.

The kids all looked happy, leaving with their parents.

Without turning Shirobuta-kun’s head, I carefully watched Yukihira through the eye holes so she wouldn’t notice.

She hadn’t moved an inch from her hiding spot. Still staring straight at me.

…What is she even trying to do?

Since I couldn’t just wander around freely in this thing, I was still wondering what to do when she finally moved.

Hesitantly, she took one slow step forward.

Then, little by little, she made her way over to me…

Until she was right in front of me.

“…Konnichiwa, Shirobuta-kun.”

I stood there, facing off against Yukihira, who delivered her words in an emotionless monotone.

As Shirobuta-kun, I swiftly raised a hand in greeting.

At that moment, Yukihira’s small nose twitched slightly.

“Could you do a quick spin for me, right here?”

I did as she asked, turning around in place.

“…Thank you.”

Right after saying that, her body started trembling slightly… What the hell?

“…Could I touch you for a moment?”

I found Yukihira’s behavior strange, but I nodded.

She reached out hesitantly and started to softly squish Shirobuta-kun’s plush body.

“…I can’t take it anymore.”

Huh? Take what?

Before I could even process my question, Yukihira hurriedly scanned her surroundings.

“…No acquaintances in sight.”

She murmured, double-checking her surroundings one more time for good measure. Then, she turned back toward me and whispered again.

“I just… I just can’t hold back anymore.”

The next moment—

“Hauuu…”

What?

“Shirobuta-kun… I finally… finally got to be by your side!”

Yukihira’s expression, normally void of emotion, suddenly melted into something incredibly soft and blissful.

What? …What!?

Unable to comprehend what was happening, I stood there, frozen.

And then, without warning, she lunged at me and wrapped her arms around me.

“S-So cuteee!”

…

…

…

WHO THE HELL IS THIS PERSON!?