My Mental Choices Are Completely Interfering with My School Romantic Comedy

Volume 1 Chapter 3.2: Ouka Yuuouji’s New World

“Supii~”

The Chocolat-chan from the Amakusa household was, as usual, completely knocked out in deep sleep this morning.

“…You know, at this point, I don’t even have the energy to complain anymore.”

Her face was relaxed beyond reason, a picture of absolute serenity.

With a light sigh, I stepped closer to the bed.

“Aahh… No, you mustn’t…!”

Just as I reached out to shake her awake, she suddenly let out a rather seductive moan. This… this feels familiar.

“Stop… Please, stop, Natsuhiko-san…!”

Natsuhiko? That’s a name I’ve never heard before. Who the hell is that? Judging from the situation, it sounds like someone assaulting Chocolat…

“Natsuhiko-san, taking advantage of an unconscious Kanade-san… That’s just monstrous!”

It’s me!?

“No good, no good! Kanade-san as the uke is way too predictable—it’s just not interesting!” (T/N: Uke is basically a bottom, in a bl manga, he’s that guy taking the penetration.)

That’s your problem with this scenario!?

“I see… If you’re that determined, then I suppose I have no choice but to step aside…”

No, step in and stop it!

“Oh, Kanade-san looks like he’s about to wake up. Let’s soak a handkerchief with sleeping medicine and put him back under~”

WHY THE HELL ARE YOU HELPING HIM!?

“Natsuhiko-san, you’re bold. Oh, you’re starting with that right away? Ooh, Kanade-san’s hole is—”

“Enough already!!”

I couldn’t take it anymore and forcibly shook her awake.

“Fweh?”

Still half-asleep, Chocolat blinked and looked around drowsily.

“Huh? Where did Natsuhiko-san go?”

“WHO THE HELL IS THAT!?”

***

“Hamu hamu.”

Chocolat happily stuffed her cheeks with a bite of miso-braised mackerel.

“Still, it’s great that Furano-san’s mission was cleared successfully~!”

“A-ah, yeah… I guess so.”

“But how did you make her laugh? I heard she never even cracks a smile.”

“Well, you know… It was just my supreme comedic genius at work.”

I told her we’d completed the mission, but I deliberately left out the part where the banana peel she had prepared was the real clincher. If she found out, she’d just get cocky.

“Hmm… So Furano-san likes slapstick humor?”

That’s kinda rude.

“By the way, Kanade-san.”

Still munching on a pickled cucumber, Chocolat suddenly changed the subject.

“About the ‘Tickling Forty-Eight Hands’ technique from the other day—there are still a bunch we haven’t tried yet.”

“Ugh…”

The memory of her body pressing against my back, along with that overwhelmingly sweet fragrance, surged back into my mind. That whole thing was dangerous in so many ways, especially considering the side effects.

“Yeah… That’s banned from now on.”

“Why? I was planning to try the rest of them tonight!”

“If you even think about it, I swear your meals from now on will be nothing but furikake rice.”

“Th-that’s cruel! Furikake harassment!!”

That’s not even a thing!

“Hm?”

Suddenly, my phone buzzed on the table.

A bad feeling crept over me. I picked it up, and sure enough—the screen displayed:

“Curse Removal Mission”

So it’s already time for Round Two, huh…

Who the hell is sending these, anyway? The previous god is still on maternity leave (or whatever that was), and I already confirmed over the phone that the sleazy god has nothing to do with it.

Well, no use overthinking it now. First, I need to check the mission details.

“Witness Konagi Yawakaze’s panties while they are being worn. Deadline: May 11 (Saturday).”

…What is this? What the hell is this? Just what in the world is this?

No matter how many times I double-check, the words on the screen remain unchanged.

Konagi Yawakaze… That Konagi Yawakaze, right?

That name—if you’re a student at Seikou—will inevitably reach your ears, whether you’re interested or not.

Konagi Yawakaze. A second-year student who proudly holds third place in the public rankings. Of course, she’s cute, but more than that, she’s said to have an extremely gentle personality, while also possessing that classic clumsy-girl charm. In other words, she’s basically a walking embodiment of every guy’s ideal fantasy.

Unlike the other ranking members, she doesn’t have any particularly outstanding traits, but perhaps that’s exactly why she’s so highly regarded—because she embodies pure, unfiltered cuteness as a girl.

Apparently, she’s even popular enough to have her own fan club.

And I have to… see this girl’s panties? By the day after tomorrow? Today’s Thursday, the 9th, so that means by Saturday… No, no way. That’s impossible.

“Kanade-san, is this… a new mission, by any chance?”

I nod and relay the details to Chocolat.

“What the hell am I supposed to do with this?”

Yukihira’s mission was already a ridiculous challenge, but at least making her laugh wasn’t inherently immoral.

But this? It’s one thing if a gust of wind flips her skirt and I just happen to see, but if I actively try to make it happen, that’s definitely crossing a line.

“It’s okay! I’ll go buy ‘Ten Ways to See a Girl’s Panties’ for you!”

“No, that kind of book doesn’t exist!”

Besides, that last book you bought—about how to make someone laugh—was completely useless.

“Then I’ll look for ‘Ten Ways to Protect Your Backside from Natsuhiko.'”

“Who the hell is that?!”

“A professional homo.”

“A PRO?!”

“Yep! Unlike you, an amateur homo, Kanade-san.”

“THAT PREMISE IS WRONG FROM THE START!”

“Wait, Kanade-san… are you a pro?”

“THAT’S NOT THE ISSUE HERE! I’M STRAIGHT!”

“I see… so, a standard homo?”