My Mental Choices Are Completely Interfering with My School Romantic Comedy - Volume 1 Chapter 1.2:

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Our high school, Seikou Private Academy, was quite the mammoth school, boasting fifteen classes per grade. Naturally, that meant the campus was unnecessarily vast.

In other words, there was a fair distance from the school gate to the entrance hall. Burdened physically and mentally by a face full of adult magazines, Daiko-san’s hug, and an encounter with a mysterious dog-like creature, I trudged wearily across the schoolyard.

A few minutes later, I finally arrived at the entrance. Fortunately, my classroom—Class 2-1—was on the second floor, right at the front. From here, all I had to do was climb the stairs.

“Yo.”

Opening the classroom door, I exchanged greetings with the friends I spotted.

Just as I was heading to my seat, my eyes landed on a lone girl standing by the window.

Yukihira Furano.

She wasn’t doing anything in particular—just standing there. Yet, for some reason, her presence stood out strangely. As if the air around her alone was charged with a different tension.

Her white-tinted hair, as though embodying her name, shimmered like fresh-fallen snow in the sunlight streaming through the window.

“Hey, good morning, Yukihira.”

At the sound of my voice, she turned. Her features were sharp, almost mechanical in their precision.

Without the slightest change in expression, Yukihira replied.

“Good morning, you maggot bastard.”

“…Huh?”

An absolutely outrageous insult came flying my way.

Normally, I’d assume I misheard. But, well… the person in question was Yukihira. If I let something like this get to me, I wouldn’t even be able to hold a conversation with her.

“Ahh, nice weather today, isn’t it?”

“Yes, it is, maggot bastard.”

“Days like this make me wanna ditch school and go play somewhere.”

“Oh? You’re more of a bad boy than I thought, maggot bastard.”

“By the way, what day is it today?”

“Monday. Why do you ask, maggot bastard?”

“Do you even know what ‘changing the subject’ means!?”

As I raised my voice in frustration, Yukihira responded in her usual monotone.

“Oh, if I upset you, my apologies. It was just a little bug joke.”

“…Bug joke?”

That was a term I had never heard before in my life.

“You see, this morning, the horoscope segment on TV said, ‘You may face some bug-related misfortune today.’ I don’t fully believe in that kind of thing, but it stuck with me a little, you know?”

“Uh-huh… and?”

“So, I figured I’d turn it into a joke and laugh it off.”

“That’s some real out-of-the-box thinking…”

“Well, you know me. I refuse to bow to fate. I’m a rebel at heart. If something doesn’t sit right with me, I’ll fight against it even in death.”

“No, I really don’t think this situation calls for such an epic declaration…”

“By the way, if you insist, Amakusa-kun, I can share more bug jokes with you.”

“No, that’s quite alright.”

…But she clearly wanted me to ask. If I refused outright, this conversation would just drag on.

“Alright, just one, then.”

“……”

“Yukihira?”

“……”

“Hello? Yukihira-san?”

“Hey, listen up, monsieur. Today, I ignored a fool of a classmate—I gave him the ultimate ‘mushi’ treatment!”

(Mushi = bug / ignore.)

…That was unbelievably stupid.

“By the way, did you notice? It wasn’t just a pun on ‘mushi’ (bug) and ‘mushi’ (ignore). It also had a subtle play on ‘monsieur’!”

“…No, I did not.”

She explained her own failed joke. That took some nerve.

“Then tell me, where should ‘George,’ who lost his spotlight for this joke, direct his frustration!?”

“Who the hell is George!?”

Yukihira Furano was supposed to be the cool, aloof type, yet here she was—making dumb puns, suddenly getting all worked up. I still couldn’t get a proper read on her true personality.

“Oh my, what’s wrong, Amakusa-kun? You’re making a face like you’re about to go attack a little girl.”

“…What kind of face is that!?”

“Or maybe… like a villager endlessly repeating, ‘This is the beginning village, da-ppe!’ at the entrance of a town.”

“I fail to see any commonality between those two examples!”

“Or maybe… like a villager endlessly repeating, ‘Haa… haa… you seen a little girl around here?’”

“That’s just forced nonsense!!”

…Nope. Dealing with this is just exhausting. I decided to abandon the conversation and walk past Yukihira.

But then—

【Choose: ① “Hey, let me touch your boobs. Boobs.” ② “Hey, touch my boobs. Boobs.”】

…Yeah, no. That’s definitely messed up.

No sane human being would tolerate being forced into a perverted choice like this. Of course, my first instinct was to resist.

But then, I knew what would happen if I ignored an Absolute Choice.

If I refused to pick an option, a headache would start—mild at first. Then, as time passed, my brain would feel like it was being squeezed from the inside, escalating into an unbearable pain.

Like my skull remained intact, but the brain matter inside was about to explode out. Not even a girl with a scar across her face could pull off such a feat.

In short, resistance was futile.

Humans breathe air—this is a fact.

Dogs can’t talk—this is a fact.

When an Absolute Choice appears, you must choose—this, too, is a fact.

So…

“Hey, touch my boobs. Boobs.”

The moment I uttered those words, Yukihira’s eyebrow twitched ever so slightly.

“…Amakusa-kun, what did you just say?”

That reaction was understandable. Anyone would be in disbelief.

“Uh, well, you see—”

“Did you just tell me to touch your ‘paiotsu’?” (T/N: In our slang, it means tits.)

“…What? What did you just say?”

I found myself asking her back in confusion. Did she just say… paiotsu?

“What I want to confirm is whether or not you just said, ‘Touch my paiotsu.’”

“Well… I did say something similar, but I didn’t use the word ‘paiotsu’—”

“You didn’t say ‘paiotsu’? That’s strange… I could’ve sworn I heard you say ‘paiotsu.’ And you can’t possibly mishear that word… Oh! Are you embarrassed about saying ‘paiotsu’ and trying to hide it? But ‘paiotsu’ isn’t even that vulgar a word, you know? If anything, the term ‘paiotsu’—”

“You just want to keep saying ‘paiotsu’ at this point!”

“I admit it. But don’t you ever get the uncontrollable urge to repeatedly say ‘paiotsu’?”

“Not even once in my life!”

“Why not!?”

“Why are you mad at me!?”

…Seriously, thank god Yukihira was a weirdo. If this Absolute Choice had appeared in front of any other girl, my life would’ve been over.

Last year’s class was a complete disaster. I was forced to say all kinds of humiliating things in front of the girls… things I can never repeat.

Yeah, let’s not relive that trauma.

One thing’s for sure—this Absolute Choice exists solely to screw me over.

When it comes to gal games, it’s like no matter which choice I pick, I’m on a straight path to a bad ending. Thanks to that, this past year, I haven’t even gotten a taste of the “r” in “romance.”

It’s not like I have some grand desire to be super popular or anything. I just want to have a normal conversation with girls—without them flinching or looking at me like trash…

That being said, today’s choices are popping up way more than usual, and the content is downright brutal. Best to just head to my seat and keep my head down.

Just as I hurried past Yukihira—

[Choose:

① “Hey, let me touch your paiotsu, paiotsu.”

② “Hey, touch my paiotsu, paiotsu.”]

…Yeah, no thanks. I really don’t need these choices that feel like they were written just for the sake of it.

Not that my protests matter—of course, I don’t have the right to refuse.

“Hey, touch my paiotsu, paiotsu.”

Yukihira, still expressionless, opened her mouth.

“I’m sorry. I have no interest in talking to someone who uses such vulgar words.”

“Which damn mouth is saying that!?”

“This mouth. The one that keeps saying ‘paiotsu’ at every opportunity.”

“Do the words ‘consistency’ or ‘principle’ even exist in your dictionary!?”

“In my dictionary, only the word ‘paiotsu’ exists.”

“Then just keep repeating ‘paiotsu’ for the rest of your life!”

“Amakusa-kun… you’re not seriously taking this joke to heart, are you?”

“Ugaaaah!”

I grabbed my hair in frustration. This is impossible… I can’t deal with this at all. I shook off Yukihira, who still looked like she had more nonsense to spew, and made my way to my seat.

Homeroom hadn’t even started yet, and I already felt completely drained. Letting out a sigh, I sat down.

Casually, I glanced out the window.

“…Huh?”

There was a face.

“Uoooh!”

I jumped up from my chair out of reflex.

“Oh, Amacchi! Mornin’!”

The person on the other side of the glass beamed at me and, without hesitation, threw open the window.

“Toh!”

With a dramatic cry, like a tokusatsu hero, she planted her foot on the window frame and leaped into the classroom.

Her waist-length black hair fluttered as she landed lightly.

“You… what kind of entrance is that!?”

Now the entire class had their eyes on her. The girl, Yuuouji Ouka, flashed a thumbs-up and declared—

“Haha! The student guidance teacher was standing right at the entrance, so I climbed the wall!”

Like it was nothing… I mean, it’s not that high, so she probably wouldn’t get seriously hurt if she fell, but still—most people wouldn’t just do that, even if they thought of it.

I stared at her. Sleek, glossy long black hair. A slender yet well-proportioned frame. The elegant, refined face of a true ojou-sama raised in a sheltered environment.

And yet, the moment she opened her mouth, she was as noisy as an elementary schooler. Her expressions changed by the second, and she repeated one unpredictable action after another.

Climbing the school wall? If it were anyone else, it’d be unthinkable. But with Yuuouji, my only thought was, Yeah, figures.

“Oya, Amacchi. You look super tired—what’s up?”

She leaned in close, completely ignoring any notion of personal space.

“Ugh…”

I wish she’d at least be a little conscious of the whole “man and woman” thing, but… expecting that from this kid is a lost cause.

“Well, a lot happened this morning… wait, what’s with that backpack?”

Slung over Yuuouji’s back was a backpack so stuffed, I wanted to ask, Are you planning to flee in the night?

“Oh! Glad you asked! Haha, I couldn’t go through the entrance ’cause I was smuggling this in!”

Grinning, she dropped the backpack onto the floor with a thud. Did she really scale the wall carrying that weight? Just what kind of physical ability does she have?

“Look, look! This is one of our prototypes!”

She pulled out the contents one after another, scattering them across the floor. Almost every item bore the logo “UOG.”

It was still hard to believe, but Yuuouji was none other than the heiress of the world-famous mega-corporation, UOG.

UOG’s business spanned countless industries—food, clothing, cosmetics, electronics, books. You’d be hard-pressed to find a household without at least one UOG product.

“This stuff got scrapped in the planning phase, but the development team asked me to gather feedback from young people for future reference!”

Drawn by Yuuouji’s enthusiasm, classmates gathered around. Of course, even rejected prototypes from UOG—the forefront of trends—would spark curiosity.

“Ouka-chan, what’s that?”

A girl pointed at a suspiciously red bottle.

“Oh, that? It’s kinda like a female version of a stamina booster, aimed at housewives in their rut phase. Supposedly, it activates female hormones.”

Why the hell would they ask high schoolers for feedback on that…?

“Apparently, it had amazing effects and was super affordable, but the project got shot down without discussion.”

“Huh, I wonder why.”

One of the girls picked up the bottle and examined the flashy label.

“ABAZUREN Z”

“Yeah… the name alone is a deal-breaker.”

“Oh, and this morning, I secretly mixed some into my mom’s breakfast! She suddenly started panting and went, ‘Ouka… don’t you want a little sister?'”

“WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO THE CEO’S WIFE!?”

Yuuouji’s mother, Yuuouji Hibiki, was a former idol who dominated the industry nearly two decades ago. Unlike the cutesy, bubbly idols of her time, she built her career with an intelligent, sophisticated image.

She retired after getting engaged to business mogul Yuuouji Oumato and had since withdrawn from the public eye. But lately, she had started appearing as a commentator on the news.

Her reputation was cool and collected. And yet, her own daughter had turned her into an abazure… How was Yuuouji even her child?

Well, setting aside the mysteries of the Yuuouji family, it was clear that ABAZUREN Z wasn’t just scrapped for its name. If something this ridiculous made it to market, Japanese society would collapse.

I shook my head and turned to another product. At the edge of the pile sat a small printer-like device. Inside was a stack of rectangular paper.

“Yuuouji, what’s this?”

“Oh, that? It’s a kids’ toy called ‘Satsurun Desu.’ You use it to print your own money!”

Flipping through the stack, I saw cartoon characters printed on each one, with “Osatsu” written in bold letters.

“Whoa, this is actually pretty well-made… wait. Why is there real money mixed in!?”

Among them, a perfectly legit bill with Yukichi Fukuzawa’s face peeked out.

“Haha, this thing is crazy high-performance! I tried printing one for fun, and it came out looking exactly like the real thing!”

“THAT’S A CRIME!”

Yeah, this one was completely out of the question.

“Seriously… Is there even something proper here… Oh, this is ‘Jinsei Candy.'”

“Jinsei Candy” (人生キャンディー) is a long-selling product from UOG’s confectionery brand, “Yuoujii” (ユーロージ). Each edition is themed, labeled as “~hen” (～編), and comes in a pack of three, featuring a variety of unique flavors.

For example, there’s something like this: (T/N: Ngl just skip this.)

“Koi Ren’ai-hen” (恋愛編) – Romance version

Kataomoi Aji (片思い味) – The taste of unrequited love

Kokuhaku Aji (告白味) – The taste of confession

Ryōomoi Aji (両想い味) – The taste of mutual love

With a composition that’s all over the place—ranging from a sour flavor embodying heartbreak, to an intensely spicy taste representing the thrill of a confession, and an overwhelmingly sweet one that might give you heartburn—it’s less about the taste itself and more about its novelty appeal. Combined with its low price, it has become a major hit, rivaling another popular product from the same brand: the “Animaru Kyandī” (アニマルキャンディー) series.

“But, man, there were a ton of rejected flavors.”

Yuuouji handed me a few.

“Onna-tarashi-hen” (女たらし編) – The Womanizer Edition

Futamata Kakechatta Aji (二股かけちゃった味) – The taste of two-timing

Ryōhō Dekichatta Aji (両方できちゃった味) – The taste of getting both

Sasarechatta Aji (刺されちゃった味) – The taste of getting stabbed

“Why the hell did you make it sound cute at the end!?”

“Chūkan Kanri-shoku-hen” (中間管理職編) – Middle Management Edition

Ue to Shita to no Ita Hasami de Itsū Aji (上と下との板挟みで胃痛味) – The taste of stomach pains caused by being stuck between upper and lower management

Risutora Aji (リストラ味) – The taste of being laid off

Gojū-sai Isoji Rojō de Nodarejini Aji (五十歳いそじ路上で野垂れ死に味) – The taste of dying on the streets at fifty

“That’s just too sad!”

Shigo no Sekai-hen” (死後の世界編) – Afterlife Edition

Meido no Miyage Aji (冥土の土産味) – The taste of an afterlife souvenir

Sai no Kawara Aji (賽の河原味) – The taste of the River of Souls

Jigoku e no Katamichi Kippu Aji (地獄への片道切符味) – The taste of a one-way ticket to Hell

“Who the hell would buy this!?

Nīto-hen” (ニート編) – NEET Edition

Hatashite Aji (はたして味) – The taste of what will happen

Boku no Rōgo wa Aji (僕の老後は味) – The taste of my future old age

Dōnaru n deshō ka Aji (どうなるんでしょうか味) – What would happen flavor

“Like hell I know!”

Atari ga Detara Mō Ikko-hen” (あたりが出たらもう一個編) – If You Get a Prize, You Get Another Edition

Atari Kana? Aji (あたりかな？味) – The taste of “Did I win?”

Hazure Kana? Aji (はずれかな？味) – The taste of “Did I lose?”

Baka ga Miru~ (馬鹿かが見る～) – The taste of “Only a fool would fall for this~”

At this point, the taste or anything related to it doesn’t even matter anymore.

Even if it’s been scrapped, is this really what major products have come to…huh?

As I tried to find something at least somewhat decent, my gaze swept the floor, and I noticed Yukihira crouching in the corner. She was intently staring at something in her hands… and her eyes, they were downright terrifying.

“What are you doing, Yukihira?”

She was holding “札るんです” (Fuda Runes) and glaring at it with an eerie intensity. Something felt off.

“Oh, Amatsuka-kun, this toy… if misused, it could lead to a terrible situation. I think people with proper judgment should be responsible for managing it.”

“Well… that might be true.”

Rather, I feel like it might be better to break this right here and now.

“Eh, me? No, that’s impossible. Eh, it’s just me? W-well, I guess if you’re going that far, maybe I’ll give it a try.”

“What’s with that petty attitude! No one asked you to do it!”

“Tch…”

She actually clicked his tongue. Just now, she clicked her tongue.

As Yukihira stood up with a blank expression, Yuuouji raised her voice.

“Ah, it’s Furanocchi, hey~!”

Yukihira nonchalantly returned the greeting.

“Good morning, maggot girl.”

Are we still continuing with that joke?!

“Hm? Maggot? Oh, right, speaking of maggots…”

Yuuouji started rummaging through the bottom of her backpack. I’ve never heard anyone say “speaking of maggots” in my life.

“Here, I also had this. Wow, what a coincidence. Try it, Furanocchi.”

Yukihira was handed a package with a dark purple color, on which this was printed:

‘Animal Candy – Maggot Flavor.’

What kind of miracle is this?!

“I see… so when it comes to insect-related disasters, I guess this is what it’s talking about… the developer should just die.”

Despite accepting it calmly, Yukihira muttered the last part with venom. Well, I can’t say I blame her. What kind of flavor is ‘maggot flavor’? It’s beyond being just a bad idea. It’s downright absurd.

Unwrapping the package, Yukihira tossed the candy into her mouth, let it roll around on her tongue for a while, then spoke with a straight face.

“Yeah, it really does taste like maggots.”

“What kind of review is that?!”

“Add a drop of cicada pee as a secret ingredient, and I think the flavor would really pop.”

“It wouldn’t pop at all! Why are you saying it like it’s sesame oil?!”

While retorting, I looked toward Yuuouji.

“Anyway, is it… safe to eat that?”

“It’s fine, it’s fine. You know how there are candies with ‘strawberry flavor’ or ‘melon flavor’? But they don’t actually taste like strawberries or melons, right? Here, go ahead, have one.”

“I-is that how it is…?”

…What is this? It’s not bad, it’s definitely not bad, but there’s this… weird, unclear aftertaste I can’t even put into words.

“What exactly is in this?”

Yuuouji glanced at the label.

“Just a sec. Uh, the ingredients are… oh, it says maggot extract.”

“Ughhhhhhh!”

I reflexively spat out the candy. Seeing this, Yuuouji struck a victory pose and immediately sat down, declaring:

“Amacchi, if you pick it up within three seconds, you can still eat it!”

“That’s not the issue here!”

“Ha, Amacchi, that was just a joke, a joke. There’s no maggot juice in it, I swear!”

Hearing the words of Yuuouji, Yukihira clapped her hands together with a pon.

“Ara, that’s such a wonderful insect joke, isn’t it?”

“That’s enough already!”

Tch… From Yuuouji’s expression, it’s impossible to tell whether her words are true or false. I must see it for myself.

“Let me see it for a moment!”

I snatched it up, half forcefully, and confirmed the label with my own eyes.

Ingredients: Due to certain circumstances, cannot be listed.

Scary!

“Y-Yukihira, doesn’t this bother you at all?”

I turned to speak to Yukihira, who had already taken a bite before me.

“Oh, Amakusa-kun, you’re being so wishy-washy about something like this. That’s not very manly of you.”

“Are you an old man?!”

“Anyway, don’t you think it’s the lowest thing to spit out food someone gave you?”

“There’s no convincing argument coming from you with a tissue stuck in your mouth, Yukihira-san.”

“It’s morning sickness.”

“Can’t you come up with a more reasonable lie?!”

“Ahaha, both of you, don’t worry. There are cheeses in the world that have maggots in them, so it’ll be fine.”

“But you’re already saying it’s in there!”

My voice, which had risen in a shout, cracked a little. How many times have I raised my voice since this morning?

“…As expected, when the three of you are together, it’s something else.”

At that moment, I heard someone muttering in the distance, and my ears perked up. If they were grouping Yuuouji, Yukihira, and me together, then there’s only one thing they could be referring to.

“Damn it, I won’t accept it… I’m not like that.”

“Nahaha, Amacchi, you should just accept it already and admit that you’re a ‘Reject 5’.”

With an easy tap on my shoulder, Yuuouji said that dreaded phrase.

Here, at Seikou Academy, every year there are two popularity polls, one in the first semester and one in the second. To put it simply, it’s like a miss contest, including the boys, where the top five boys and girls from the three grade levels, across forty-five classes, are selected by votes.

Since it’s a selection from such a large number of people, those who make it into the rankings are of a high level, and it’s widely covered by the newspaper and broadcasting clubs, so their recognition within the school is nearly one hundred percent.

However, behind the glamorous surface, there exists a darker, unofficial ranking—one that is quite infamous.

Those with exceptional looks but who have less-than-ideal personalities or behaviors, who have been deemed undesirable as romantic partners, are placed on the list of five people, both boys and girls, to be avoided.

This list is called the ‘Reject 5.’

Yukihira doesn’t seem to care at all, acting as she does, and Yuuouji doesn’t care in the slightest either.

But for me, a regular person, I can’t take it so easily.

“No, that’s not it… Unlike those two, I’m just a regular high school student.”

However, no matter how much I complain, once a title is given, it won’t disappear for at least six months.

By the way, in the current rankings compiled at the end of March, the third-year students at the time were also included, so as of May in the new school year, there are nine ‘Reject 5’ students remaining in the school, both boys and girls.

The fact that three of those nine, which is one-third, are concentrated in our class, 2-1.

And on top of that, not a single one of them is on the official rankings, so it’s no wonder our class, 2-1, is labeled as the ‘unfortunate class.’

Well, I don’t want to think that one-third of the responsibility lies with me, though.

“Amacchi, you know, you’d look cool if you just stayed quiet.”

“No, I really don’t want to hear that from you…”

Yeah, to be honest, I think my appearance is objectively on the better side. In middle school, confessions and love letters weren’t uncommon, and it wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say I was popular.

However, in March last year, just before entering high school, my life took a turn.

Yes, because of these damn absolute choices that came my way, I was forced into sudden bizarre behavior… And now, in May of my second year, I’m labeled with the worst tag, ‘Reject 5.’

But my abnormality is solely caused by the irregular factor of the absolute choices.

Unlike Yukihira and Yuuouji, whose screws are loose, I, Amakusa Kanade, am a completely normal person. That is, if it weren’t for the absolute choices──

[Choose: ① Upper body naked, shout like a Japanese man ② Lower body naked, shout like an Amazon warrior]

Are you kidding me!

Why does this come up now, at this timing? Read the room! And what kind of stereotype is Amazon equals naked bottom?

…Yeah, ignoring it, as usual. Fine, I’ll do it, I’ll do it. Whatever.

I chose ①, grabbed my uniform, and started taking it off, hesitantly.

“Uwa, look at that.”

What’s sad is that the girls aren’t screaming or blushing; they’re just like, ‘Oh, Amakusa’s doing something weird again.’

The fact that in a new class that’s only been together for a month, I’m already seen as the kind of guy who’d suddenly strip…

Shaking off that sadness, I successfully (?) go topless. There, choices, are you satisfied now?

“Guh…”

But the headache that means ‘NO’ hits me. Apparently, shouting like a Japanese man is the missing part.

“Gahaha, this is the spirit of a masurao!”

I just blurted it out, half in frustration.

The headache fades… Seriously, is this okay?

“Yo.”

At that moment, the classroom door opens, and the teacher walks in at the worst possible time.

Our eyes meet as I stand there, topless, striking a victory pose.

“What… are you doing?”

Our homeroom teacher, Douraku Utage. Despite looking like an elementary school student with her petite build and cute appearance, her words and actions are rough and violent.

In the generally relaxed atmosphere of Seikou, her yankee aura stands out as unusual.

“Well, Sensei, there’s a deep reason for this…”

“Hmm, what is it? Spit it out.”

“Well… I was told to do this.”

“By who?”

“By… someone else inside my head.”

This is bad, even I know this is bad!

“Come here.”

Utage-sensei beckons me with her tiny hand.

“Kneel.”

“Can I at least put my clothes back on──”

“Shut up.”

“……Yes.”

As soon as I kneel, she grabs me by the scruff of my neck.

“Special guidance. We’re going to a separate room.”

“Ow, ow, that hurts!”

Utage-sensei tells the class president to take attendance in her place, then drags me toward the door. Where does she even get this strength from?

Helpless, I’m dragged down the hallway, still topless.

—

I’m brought into the student guidance room.

Utage-sensei slouches in her chair, looking lethargic.

“So, why are you still topless?”

“Because you didn’t give me time to get dressed!”

“Alright, spill it. What happened? I ain’t got all day.”

She completely ignores her own question and props her feet up on the table.

“Come on, cut me some slack. You know what’s going on, right?”

“Kuku, so what choices did you get this time?”

…I guess she does know.

Utage-sensei is the only person who knows about my absolute choice, for reasons I don’t fully understand.

“Well, it was either strip my top or my bottom…”

“…You chose the top, huh. Tch, you really don’t have an ounce of humor in you, do you?”

“There’s no way stripping naked would be funny!”

“No problem. Worst case, you just get expelled, that’s all.”

“That’s a huge problem!”

“There’s this saying, ‘it’s a fire on the other shore,’ you know.”

“It’s right in front of us! It’s a student from your class!”

Damn it… why is it that the people around me, both students and teachers, are all such ridiculous people?

“Couldn’t you be a little more serious—ah, Sensei?”

Until then, her mocking tone had disappeared, and Utage-sensei’s expression turned somber.

She muttered, barely audible.

“Well, still… as always, you sure do have some messed-up stuff going on.”

“Sensei…”

Yes, what’s hidden is that this loli teacher in front of me was once the holder of the absolute choice.

Apparently, this absolute choice has a nature of transferring from person to person. The one before me was Utage-sensei, and now it’s me.

I’ve tried asking why it came to me or what the conditions are for its transfer, but I always get dodged with, “It’s not the right time,” or, “It’s too bothersome,” leaving me with no answers.

Utage-sensei, who had tucked away her troubled expression, returned to her usual lazy demeanor.

“Anyway, you can go home now. You’re not getting off scot-free for that mess, but I just brought you here for formality. Well, I’ll keep covering for you as best as I can, so just try to do your best.”

Despite my dissatisfaction with the secrecy, the fact that this person, who has been my one and only understanding teacher since last year, is my homeroom teacher is a huge help.

Without Utage-sensei’s intervention, I’d probably have been suspended or put on house arrest for some of the ridiculous things I’ve done… though I can’t deny I feel disgusted with myself sometimes.

“Oh, right, there’s something I want to ask.”

Speaking of the absolute choice, I suddenly remembered. This morning, a strange creature called ‘Chocolat’ fell from the sky.

I don’t know if it’s directly related to the absolute choice, but if anyone might know something, it would be Utage-sensei, since she was once the holder.

“On the way to school today, a weirdly cute girl fell from the sky—”

Utage-sensei lightly tapped my shoulder, looking off into the distance.

“Poor thing… you’ve finally lost the ability to distinguish between the second and third dimensions, haven’t you?”

“No, no, that’s not it!”

I know it sounds incredibly suspicious, even to me, but it’s the truth, so there’s no helping it.

“Huh? But didn’t you say just the other day, ‘If you clear this gal game a hundred times, the character will come out of the screen and you can propose to her, fufufu’—looking all happy about it?”

“I never said that! Are you out of your mind?!”

“Was it a hundred and one times, then?”

“I’m not worried about that detail!”

“Then, was it, ‘Fufufu, well then… sensei…’ ?”

“I’m telling you, that’s not it! You made up the whole damn line!”

I’ve been thinking this since last year, but is this person really a teacher? Seriously, the way she acts is nothing like someone in a teaching position.

“What’s with you, staring at me like that… Could it be?”

Utage-sensei deliberately took a step back.

“You think you can get away with doing something to me just because we’re in a private room, huh?”

“No, no, what are you even talking about?”

“Well, you’re half-naked in the middle of the day.”

“I told you, that’s your fault!”

“Don’t get close to me, you lolicon.”

“Lolicon my ass! Think about your own age!”

“I’m twelve. That makes you a perfect lolicon, right?”

“Don’t lie like an elementary schooler!”

“Quit whining like a bitch. Ugh, what was it again, you…”

“…Sensei, did you forget my name?”

“Don’t be dumb, don’t look down on teachers. There’s no way I forgot it. Uh… Amaa… Amaa… Amaa…”

“I was in your class last year!”

“Ah, sorry, sorry, I was just messing with you. Ama…Ama… Kusakusa.”

“You’re seriously mixing it up!”

“Pfft.”

“Why are you laughing like that?”

I’m done for. I’m completely being made fun of.

“Anyway, I told you I’m busy. Hurry up and talk.”

“No, no, the conversation is getting nowhere, and it’s clearly your fault…”

While grumbling, I try to steer the conversation back on track.

“So, about that beautiful girl.”

“Yeah, yeah, that girl who fell from the sky, Kanade-chan.”

Damn it… that’s such an annoying way to say it.

“Well, apparently she fell because of the absolute choice I made—”

“What?!”

Her expression changed instantly.

“…I see.”

She murmured quietly, her face once again showing a look of sorrow.

“That expression, you seem to have some idea about this, don’t you?”

Utage-sensei didn’t deny it.

“Well, yeah. But this isn’t something I can just casually get involved in.”

Her words were ambiguous, but her eyes had a serious glint to them.

“Well, if I were to say just one thing, it would be that you’ve definitely prepared the conditions for letting go of your choice, that is to say.”

“Huh? What does that mean—”

I was about to ask when the first-period bell suddenly rang.

“Time’s up, hurry up and get back to class.”

“No, Sensei, I really want to hear more details!”

“At this point, there’s nothing more I can say.”

“But…”

The topic of the absolute choice is a matter that could change my life, and I need answers.

“Shut up already, if you keep being so noisy, I’ll castrate your uvula.”

“That’s a weird way of putting it! …Wait, why are you sending a message?”

“Hmm, this? It’s from Yukihira. If you don’t get back in a minute, I’m allowed to burn your jacket.”

“What the hell is that nonsense?”

Normally, I’d think no one would actually do something like that just because they said so… but when it comes to Yukihira, I can’t shake the suspicion that she might actually do it… No, she wouldn’t… or would she?

“Alright, sent. Just so you know, if you snitch, I’ll kill you.”

“What kind of person is this one standing in front of me!”

“You sure you should be dilly-dallying? You’ve got fifty seconds left.”

“Dammit!”

I threw open the door to the student guidance room and sprinted down the hall… still half-naked.