My Memories Came Back, But I'm Not Telling My Childhood Friends

Chapter 23

Rin and I were relaxing with tea at a café on the opposite side of the sweets shop, quietly watching Maya-chan and the others.

“Watching those two is making me want to fall in love again…”

Rin stirred the ice in her iced tea with a slow swirl and muttered softly. Just a moment ago she had looked ready to jump out of her seat with excitement when Maya-chan tried to feed Reita cake, but now she was suddenly all quiet and thoughtful. As usual, Rin’s emotions swing wildly.

“You should just do it. You’re cute, Rin. If you wanted to, you could find someone anytime.”

“Hmm… but I don’t want to date anyone unless I really like them.”

“You don’t have anyone you like right now?”

“Nope. Not at the moment.”

That means there used to be someone. So Rin really did like Reita after all. We hardly ever talked about romance even though we were childhood friends, so honestly I didn’t know what was in each other’s hearts. But Rin was pretty close with him too, not as much as Maya-chan, so it’s totally possible.

“What about you, Soraka? Still not interested in love at all?”

“Yeah. Not even a little.”

“Aw… what a waste. You’re seriously beautiful, Soraka.”

“Even if you say that, if I’m not interested, there’s nothing I can do about it.”

I said it calmly while lifting my teacup to my lips, but…

…That was a lie.

Every word I just said was a lie. The part about having no interest in romance was complete nonsense.

I… was no exception. I had fallen in love with Reita too.

I only realized my own feelings after it was already too late for everything.

◇ ◇ ◇

I used to think love had nothing to do with me.

When I was a kid, every time I heard someone say they liked this person or that boy was cool, I just felt like it was none of my business.

Elementary school crushes were basically just playing house anyway. Even when my friends got all excited talking about romance, I always stayed on the outside of the circle and quietly let it pass me by. Of course, I had never liked anyone myself even once.

I always put what I needed to do first. Rather than let useless emotions drag me around, putting effort into becoming my ideal self was far more valuable. I had lived by that belief the whole time.

But I only realized it after I lost him.

That I had been in love without even noticing.

When I heard that Reita had lost his memories, my chest hurt so badly it felt like it would rip apart. I hardly ever cry, but before I knew it my eyes were wet. The cold pain I felt when he looked at me like I was a stranger— just remembering it makes my chest burn.

At first I thought I was only extra worried because we were childhood friends. But as time passed, feelings I couldn’t hold back kept growing bigger.

I want to talk to him again.
I want to laugh with him again.
I want to—

That’s when I finally understood. This was love.
Of course, by the time I realized it, everything was already too late.

Faced with the empty version of him, I didn’t know what to do. Normally I might have been able to make calm, precise decisions. But because I had become aware that I was in love, I couldn’t find any answer for how I should act around him.

With no other choice, I decided to stay true to myself. I left Reita in Maya-chan and the others’ hands and focused on what only I could do. I poured all my energy into punishing the scum who tried to take advantage of him while he was struggling with his lost memories.

In the end, that was the wrong choice.

The rumors never stopped, and we never found any clear culprit. Before we knew it, Maya-chan and the others had lost contact with Reita too, and he fell alone into deep darkness.

I tried to reach out a helping hand somehow, but by the time I noticed, he was already completely stained by evil. Someone like me, who stood at the complete opposite end, couldn’t get close to him anymore.

And so our relationship as childhood friends, and my love… everything became nothing more than things of the past.

All that remained in my heart was a quiet, aching sense of loss and a small feeling of blaming myself.

◇ ◇ ◇

“…Soraka? Hey, we should start getting ready to leave soon.”

Rin waved her hand in front of my face and I snapped back to reality.

“Ah… sorry.”

I had gotten lost in old memories without realizing it. I quickly drank the rest of my tea in one go.

While we paid the bill, my thoughts kept spinning again.

Right now… how do I really feel about him?

Feelings I thought I had buried deep in my heart are starting to peek out again.

Honestly, I don’t know. It was something I had cut off once.
But after learning there’s a chance his memories have returned, they’ve started making quiet noises inside me again. By the way, I still don’t have solid proof about his memories. I just think there’s about an eighty percent chance they’re mostly back.

Unlike Maya-chan and the others, even after we lost contact I had a few chances to interact with Reita. Most of them were just me giving him one-sided lectures, but the biggest clue was how his attitude toward me had completely changed from before.

Until recently he always looked incredibly annoyed. Every time he clicked his tongue at me, my chest would ache like it was being squeezed.

Still, I didn’t want to bend my own principles, so I never gave him special treatment. …Well, maybe deep down I just didn’t want to see him stray off the right path.

Anyway, there’s a high chance he has his memories back.

I can pretty much guess why he hasn’t said anything. Knowing Reita, he’s probably thinking he doesn’t want to get our hopes up. He doesn’t have to worry about that.

Right now he’s facing his own sins and desperately trying to get himself back. While everyone around him says whatever they want, he keeps working hard without giving up. I can feel his strong will to definitely take himself back.

I’m sure Reita will return.

And when he does…

Will I fall in love with him again…?