My Memories Came Back, But I'm Not Telling My Childhood Friends - Chapter 17

Chapter 17

—April ××—

Today I walked partway to school with Reita-kun.

I kind of forced the invitation, so I wonder if he got mad.

I got a little anxious thinking maybe he’d end up hating me again like back then.

But for me, this might be my last chance.

I figured going in with an all-or-nothing attitude would leave fewer regrets, and even though I feel bad for him, I wanted to ride this momentum as far as it would go.

Lately he really does seem different. Before, he gave off this intimidating vibe that kept everyone away, but now he feels calmer.

He was careful not to drag me into any rumors, yet he still listened to my selfish request.

I felt a kindness from him that reminded me of the old Reita-kun.

Does that mean his memories are back?

I thought about it for a second, but there’s no way something that convenient would happen.

If they had come back, he wouldn’t hide it on purpose.

I already told him I wasn’t angry, so he shouldn’t be holding back out of guilt or anything.

Either way, I’m happy.

At least the Reita-kun I talked to today felt like the one I used to like.

Whether he has his memories or not, maybe Reita-kun is still Reita-kun deep down.

But I can’t help wishing his memories would come back.

Am I being greedy?

—Break time after fifth period.

I was writing in my secret Reita-kun diary again.

Because there had been some progress, my pen moved faster than usual.

I poured everything out like I was slamming all these feelings I had nowhere else to put.

I had to get it all down here so my emotions wouldn’t accidentally spill over.

If I suddenly hit him with something this heavy, Reita-kun would probably be really troubled.

…Oh, Rin-chan’s about to come back from the bathroom.

There’s still so much more I want to write, but if she catches me doing this I’ll get scolded again.

Thinking that, I quickly closed the notebook and slipped it into my inner pocket.

“—Maya.”

I got called sooner than I expected and jumped a little as I turned around.

“R-Rin-chan… did you see that just now…?”

“It’s not Rin, it’s me—Shizuno.”

I panicked thinking I’d been seen, but the one standing there coolly was Shizuno-chan.

“Oh, it was you, Shizuno-chan. You and Rin sound kind of similar, so I mix you up sometimes.”

“Do we? I think Rin has the cuter voice.”

It’s true Rin-chan’s voice is a bit higher, but both of them have pretty voices.

Mine sounds a little stuffy, like my nose is blocked. People call it a moe voice, but I don’t really like my own voice.

“So Maya, you were scribbling away really hard earlier. What were you doing?”

“Ehh!? Th-that… um… I-I was studying!”

I’d let my guard down and got hit with a surprise attack, so I hurriedly made something up.

“Studying during lunch break? That’s impressive.”

“Y-yeah, well… since we all ended up at the same high school, I figured I should try harder.”

If she found out I was only thinking about Reita-kun the whole time, even Shizuno-chan would probably be shocked.

Unlike Rin-chan, she doesn’t get angry when I talk about him, but there’s still this unspoken rule among us that we don’t casually say his name.

Every time his name comes up the mood gets heavy…

“Still, it really is a coincidence, isn’t it? None of us planned it, yet we all ended up at the same high school. And this year we’re even in the same class. I’m not the type to believe in fate, but I can’t help feeling like there’s something like that going on.”

“Y-yeah…”

Sorry for feeling the hand of fate, but the same-high-school part wasn’t a coincidence.

It was because I, still full of regrets, deliberately chose to enroll at the same school as Reita-kun.

Then Rin-chan matched her choice to mine, and Shizuno-chan—

“By the way, why did you end up going to Shirosaki anyway, Shizuno-chan?”

I remembered that only Shizuno-chan had been a real coincidence.

I was sure she’d go to some elite prep school, so I never dreamed she’d choose the same one. Honestly, when I found out, the surprise was way bigger than the joy.

“I… have something I need to do.”

“Something you need to do?”

“It’s… not really something I can talk about with other people. Sorry.”

I asked for the reason, but Shizuno-chan wouldn’t tell me.

Not something she wants to do, but something she needs to do…

I wonder what it is. From the way she said it, it didn’t sound like a cheerful topic.

I hope it’s nothing weird…

“If you ever have any trouble, don’t keep it to yourself—come to me or Rin-chan, okay?”

“Fufu, thanks Maya. Don’t worry, it’s nothing that serious.”

Shizuno-chan smiled in a reassuring way, but I couldn’t honestly feel relieved.

She’s the type who never asks for help. Ever since we were little she’s tried to solve everything on her own…

Well, the fact that she actually manages to solve everything is very Shizuno-chan…

But sometimes I wonder what she would do if she ran into a problem she couldn’t fix.

She’s always doing things that make enemies, so I feel like one day she might get dragged into something dangerous.

Of course I think what Shizuno-chan does is cool and I respect her for it.

But I still feel a little uneasy…

“Don’t make that face. I’m fine.”

“Yeah…”

Even if I worry, there’s nothing I can actually do to help, so it’s pointless.

If anyone could be useful to Shizuno-chan, it would probably be Reita-kun.

Basically, Rin-chan and I are always the ones being helped, while Reita-kun and Shizuno-chan are the ones who sort things out.

We keep relying on them and never do anything in return…

That’s probably why I couldn’t save Reita-kun back then.

If only I had been a little stronger…

It’s too late to regret it now, though.

“By the way, Maya.”

“Hm? What?”

“You still haven’t given up on Reita, have you?”

“Pffft—”

The sudden question made me choke.

“Cough… cough…”

“You okay…?”

“Y-yeah… I’m fine…”

That was way too sudden, Shizuno-chan.

“So? How is it?”

“U-um, well…”

If I said I still like him a whole lot, she might pull away…

But since she asked on purpose, she probably already half knows, so it should be okay to tell her.

“Yeah… I’m still kind of hung up on him…”

“I see. You really are devoted, as always. That’s lovely.”

I thought she’d be shocked, but surprisingly Shizuno-chan sounded positive.

“It makes me a little jealous.”

“Huh? What do you mean by—”

Right when I tried to ask what she meant by that, the bell for afternoon classes rang.

“Oh, break time’s already over… Well then, Maya. Stop daydreaming about him all the time and pay attention in class, okay?”

“I-I wasn’t daydreaming…!”

She hit the bull’s-eye at the very end and I denied it with everything I had.

Does she know I think about Reita-kun all day…?

If so, that’s way too embarrassing…

I need to be careful not to think about him too much from now on.