My Girlfriend is a Death Row Inmate

Chapter 43 – Three Thousand Miles in Search of Myself

――― Onii has been looking more cheerful lately.

For me, whose memory is broken, Onii is my only family, so if I were asked if I’m happy that Onii is cheerful, it would be a lie, but just a little. Just a little bit, I feel lonely. I think of Onii as a liar, but that’s a different story. Because he’s my only family.

Onii was officially treated as a liar when he entered high school, but the signs were there long before that–since he broke off with Sakuraba-san. Onii may have forgotten, but right after the break-up was terrible. I guess you could say he had lost his self-esteem, but every move he made was shady, and I couldn’t bear to watch. I tried to comfort him in my own way, but Onii didn’t recover. When did he recover? I remember Onii clearly, but I’m not sure when it happened.

I was happy to be able to help my ‘family’. Maybe I feel lonely because I know I can’t do that anymore. I don’t suspect him anymore, but it’s true that he has a girlfriend now.

―――I was the only one for Onii.

What am I talking about?

There was never a moment when I was the only one for Onii. Someone was always by his side. I’ve never helped Onii. I don’t intend to ask why I was born as his sister, but if I could, I would have liked to be born as his classmate and friend.

“You know about it, don’t you?”

“Eh?”

On the way home from school, Kagamiya Shinnosuke, one of my friends, started a conversation. I was thinking about something else, so I didn’t catch the context at all.

“Sorry. I wasn’t listening. What?”

“It’s kind of hurtful to be ignored. Lately, it’s famous among girls, isn’t it? The masked man who solves people’s worries in secret.”

Shinnosuke is more of a loner in the class, and I don’t think there’s any particular reason for it. I think he’s isolated because he has a habit of hating trends for no particular reason. We’re not particularly close, but since I’m not the type to fit in with the class either, I find myself interacting with him more often. Even in my jumbled memories, I interact with him a lot, and I think he’s the boy I’m closest to.

“…… I’m not interested.”

“Hey, isn’t that guy scary? Solving people’s worries with a mask is too scary. Which is better, a lucky charm or that?”

“…… I’m not interested, so I don’t know the details, but is that kind of thing popular?”

“You really aren’t interested. I heard that Hisako got a boyfriend after getting a love-fulfilling mask.”

Nanami Hisako. The girl I get along with the most in the class–no, if you exclude Shinnosuke, I get along with everyone. He keeps his distance because he ‘doesn’t like her’ for some reason, and because of that, he’s earned the wrath of some of the boys. According to one theory, Hisako likes Shinnosuke, but–huh? Is my memory mixing up?

“I thought Hisako liked Shinnosuke.”

“And she gave up, didn’t she? Her boyfriend is a third-year senior, I think. He’s way more handsome than me, and he’s also one of the main players in the basketball club. I don’t know if she liked me, but maybe she’s a looks-first kind of girl.”

“Shinnosuke. Are you interested in that secret masked guy or whatever? Didn’t you say you absolutely wouldn’t follow trends? Sorry if I’m wrong.”

“I don’t follow trends, but it’s a little scary. It’s pointless to tell you, who’s even more uninterested than me, but you’re the only girl in school who doesn’t have a mask. Lately, I’ve even heard that teachers are using them in their private lives.”

“Do you have one, Shinnosuke?”

“No, I don’t. It hasn’t spread to the boys yet, so I’m trying to gather information, but since you might know something, I wanted to ask you…”

“I’m not interested, and I don’t see why I have to try to know about something I’m not interested in. I know I won’t be able to say such selfish things when I become an adult, but I’m still in middle school. As long as I can study, it shouldn’t be a problem to stick to this selfishness.”

“What are you going to do if you know? It’s not a crime, and the teachers aren’t trying to stop it, are they? Isn’t it fine to just leave it alone?”

“Yeah, but I want to deal with it before it’s too late. What if, just if, everyone in the class started wearing masks? Everyone who gets a mask trusts ‘Ankōro’, and it’s like a cult religion… It’s creepy, right?”

“You’re overthinking it. If it gets that creepy, the school or the police will deal with it.”

He’s not a bad person, but Shinnosuke tends to have strong negative thoughts, and his imagination goes in unrealistic directions. That’s impossible. I can understand the logic if it’s about ghosts or monsters, but a simple mask doesn’t have that kind of power, and using trust to extort money is a scam and a crime. I don’t live in a lawless area where no one deals with it.

Shinnosuke put his hand in his pocket and muttered indifferently.

“Don’t get fooled, okay?”

“Are you worried about me?”

I smiled at him teasingly, and he said, “Idiot,” and widened his eyes.

“It would be creepy if you started wearing a mask too. Don’t get the wrong idea.”

“It’s a holidaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay~…………”

“Congratulations.”

The painful, painful school life comes to a temporary end. Starting tomorrow, it’s a three-day weekend. It’s been two weeks since ‘Karakiri-san’. There haven’t been any major developments with Kusune or Shizuku, and the atmosphere in the city has been gradually relaxing. The fact that the death row inmate hasn’t caused any trouble since she started staying in her room is probably a big factor. If things continue like this, the investigation will be called off, and I’ll be able to keep my promise to Shizuku…

“Well, I’m on a permanent holiday.”

“There’s no school for death row inmates, is there? Oh, but aren’t there labor duties in prison?”

“Did you forget? I was wearing that stiff, uncomfortable straitjacket? I couldn’t work. I was always alone. In a cell with iron bars, on a stone floor with no windows. Even a long holiday gets boring if it’s too long.”

Holidays are holidays because they have an end, and a holiday with no end is no different from infinite boredom. Still, most students, including me, want an infinite holiday, and today, as always, we complain about the so-called holiday. It’s a difficult topic. Even after hearing about Shizuku’s situation, I still want more holidays. It’s just a three-day weekend, after all.

―――However.

“Shizuku, let’s go on a date again.”

“―――Okay. Where are you taking me this time?”

Until now, the three-day weekend has been nothing but sleeping and occasionally playing with Ruri, and then sleeping again. But now that Shizuku is staying with me, it’s different. I have someone to enjoy it with. Just having a partner makes the holiday shine differently than before.

…… I want to do ‘that act’ like lovers, but I don’t want my family to find out, and I want to do it wholeheartedly after everything is over, so for now, I want to act purely and reclaim my lost youth.

“Hmm. Is there anywhere you want to go?”

“If you’re by my side, even if it’s in the ground, in the fire, in the water, in the birds. I’d welcome it even on the scaffold.”

In the ground, in the fire, in the water… in the birds?

“Aren’t all of those ways of burying a body?”

“Ah, did I get it right?”

I was sure when she mentioned the birds. Each one is a burial method: earth burial, cremation, water burial, and sky burial. If we go by that logic, Shizuku and I are buried in the same way in every case.

“Well, but at least I want to be with you when we die. You and I were born in different places, different eras, and we’re different genders. At least when we die…”

Shizuku hugged me from behind and gently rubbed my chest with her hand. It felt weird because someone else was touching me, and it was even a little sensual.

“That’s an exaggeration. It’s natural that we were born in different places, and by ‘different times’, you mean our ages, right? If everything was different, I don’t think we would have met. Don’t say such sad things about dying.”

“Then… will you be with me even when I die?”

According to Kusune, I’m going to be killed soon. It’s been two weeks since she said that, but no one but the person herself can guarantee that I won’t be killed. It’s like a verbal promise, but even if we made a formal contract, she’s a death row inmate. There’s no way she would follow the law, given her status.

Because of these circumstances, the proof of love that we’ll be together even when we die is not at all funny. After a short pause, Shizuku made light of her own words.

“I don’t intend to force such a contract on you. It’s a bit embarrassing, after all. Ah–kyah!”

I turned to her and pushed her down on the bed. I knew her physical strength, and if she wanted to, she could resist or even crush me, but Shizuku didn’t resist at all.

She’s too strong to be called a weak girl, but at least right now, it’s not wrong to say that Shizuku is cute.

“W, what?”

“I think my hell-bound journey was decided when I let you escape. If Shizuku falls into hell with me, that contract is a wish come true.”

I slowly lowered my upper body. The tips of her full breasts, defying gravity, touched me. They’re soft. Is Shizuku not wearing underwear again today? It’s like she’s toying with my male desire, also known as lust. But as I lowered my upper body, the soft sensation was crushed, and my chest and Shizuku’s chest were distorted.

“………… You’re really stupid. I’m a death row inmate, you know? I’ve been in hell for a long time. Oh, it seems that Lord Enma also recognizes us as a well-matched couple.”

“Shizuku…”

“………… Can you kiss me?”

Gulp.

The sound of swallowing saliva may have been heard by Shizuku as well. It’s embarrassing enough to ask for a kiss even for a death row inmate, and her cheeks gradually reddened after she said it.

“S-sorry. Forget what I just said.”

“No.”

“Huh?”

“I will kiss you. Even if Shizuku resists, I will definitely kiss you. Because I was just asked to.”

“…………”

What should I do? I’m so embarrassed I could die. I was carried away by the atmosphere and blurted out something ridiculous. The words and the reality are completely different. By declaring a kiss, it looks like I’m the one trying to do it, but it’s Shizuku who’s waiting for a kiss, and I’m just regretting what I said.

But, since I said it, there’s nothing I can do. We’re lovers. Kissing is not a problem. In fact, it should be healthy. I took a deep breath and slowly lowered my lips instead of my state. Shizuku closed her eyes and accepted everything as if she were waiting for a morning kiss,

Ping-pong.　

………….

If it was Kusune or Miharu-senpai, I would have to go out. If I ignored it, Ruri would come to get me. I slowly moved my face away and got off the bed. Shizuku looked disappointed as she touched her lips.

“Do you have plans with someone?”

“No, it’s not like that… But if it’s Kusune, she might sense it… Ahaha. I’ll be right back.”

On the one hand, I felt relieved, but on the other hand, I was definitely regretting it. I should have just kissed her instead of stopping like that.

I want to call this indecisive feeling a lover’s dilemma, but if anyone knows how to solve it, please teach me.