My Girlfriend is a Death Row Inmate

Chapter 28 – Ally of Mine

“…Liar”

I had always hated being called a liar, but perhaps that was karma in its own way. I didn’t intend to make it my first and last lie, but lying in the progressive tense is equally guilty.

“I believed your words… I was such a fool. Why did you lie like that? …I didn’t want to hear any lies. Disgusting. I hate you. I never want to see your face again! Liar! Murderer!”

It’s fine if I’m disliked by anyone. But only her…

“Ayako… I’m sorry… I’m sorry…!”

No matter how much I apologized, it wouldn’t be enough. Being called a murderer was unavoidable. It was the ultimate decision for me, and I chose…

“…Forgive me for being unable to do anything… I wanted to help… I wanted to save her…”

Sakisaka Ryuma is a hypocrite. Forced to choose between two options, he couldn’t pick both. The choice to save both wasn’t available. It’s not about whether he could or couldn’t; he simply wouldn’t try. Better a false virtue of attempting than not acting at all. And above all, what he couldn’t stand the most was inaction disguised as virtue.

I hate hypocrisy. I hate it… I hate it so much.

——————————

“Uwah…”

Usually, I forget what I dreamed about as soon as I wake up, but this time, I remember it vividly. I wish I could forget this dream, which I recall all too well. The sweat pouring from my body tells the whole story of how terrible it was. It’s not just night sweats. One might even suspect I’m suffering from some severe illness.

The time was 3:30 AM. Some might argue it’s still midnight, while others might say it’s already morning. Why did I wake up at such an inconvenient hour? If it had been a more definitive late-night time, I could have opted to go back to sleep, but here and now, I have a feeling that if I do, something irreversible will happen.

Specifically, I’ll be late for school.

　―――Huh?

Ever since Shizuku arrived, I’ve been sleeping buried in her chest, but I wonder where she went this time. At this hour, she wouldn’t run into any family members even if she went outside, but still, why did she end up going out?

Venturing outside at this time of night… The living room, lit by a single fluorescent light, revealed Shizuku slumped over the desk. For someone usually so alert to sounds, she seemed surprisingly oblivious. She didn’t even notice me coming down the stairs, just sat there catching her breath.

“…Shizuku?”

When I called out to her, she reacted with an unusually sharp jump, betraying her typically calm demeanor. As soon as she recognized it was me, she sighed in relief and gestured for me to sit in the chair next to her, as if inviting me to join her. The living room, after everyone in the family had gone to bed, felt somewhat lonely, and the chair she leaned against seemed particularly cold.

“It’s unusual for you to be awake at this hour. Did something happen?”

“…I had a terrible nightmare. What about you, Shizuku?”

“…It’s nothing. I was just thinking about what happened recently…”

“Recently…?”

The bitter memories of our first date. Manipulated by Kusune’s schemes, we were stalked by Mitsuru Aikura, who had become a puppet, and ultimately… I had no excuse this time; I had indeed killed someone. I couldn’t claim self-defense, no matter how much I wanted to.

Shizuku used her power to kill, and I was complicit in the act.

Since then, seeds of distrust towards Shizuku had sprouted in my heart, but our relationship wasn’t so fragile that it would change over such a thing. Our accomplice relationship continues to this day.

“Were you worried?”

“Why wouldn’t I be worried? I can’t read minds, but I can tell when you’re feeling distrustful towards me. It’s only natural for ordinary people.”

“…………”

I can’t deny it.

I was told that it wasn’t unreasonable, but with the person in question knowing this, it makes me feel apologetic somehow.

“I want you to trust me. Right now, you’re the only one on my side.”

“…I’m sorry, it’s just that…”

“Hmph. There’s no need to apologize. From the start, it’s a ridiculous conversation. Trusting a death row convict… In a movie, that would be a death flag.”

Shizuku’s expression was dry as she smiled self-deprecatingly. Having cried so much that her tears ran dry, if she tried to cry again, she would surely end up like this. I understood it well, having been a crybaby myself. The feeling of not being able to forgive oneself was crystal clear.

“…I’m fine even if no one trusts me. As long as I have your trust, I don’t want to betray you.”

“Even though I might act on a whim and betray you, why do you put so much faith in me?”

“…I can’t tell you right now.”

“Huh?”

The cliché dialogue, reminiscent of a mystery novel, left me puzzled. Shizuku, still facing away, muttered her “what ifs” absentmindedly.

“…I’ll tell you when everything is over. If I tell you now, it might all turn out to be lies, and I don’t want to make baseless claims. Especially… not to myself.”

The determination holds meaning precisely because it’s “after everything is over.” The copious amount of sweat, which could be mistaken for a strange illness, had cooled down, and for some reason, I found myself craving human warmth, particularly Shizuku’s.

“…Shizuku, are you going to sleep?”

“Yeah, I think I will. But you have school tomorrow, so… yeah, you should go to sleep. I’ll stay awake and make sure you don’t have any bad dreams.”

As if saying ‘you really like this, huh?’, she wrapped her arms around me. Yes, I do like Shizuku’s breasts. Just touching them gives me comfort. It feels like she’s embracing all of my shameful parts—the parts I can’t show to anyone—and it makes me want to forgive her from the bottom of my heart.

Holding doubts about such a kind death row convict girlfriend makes me a complete fool. If she’s willing to do that, then I should be willing to reciprocate.

She’s my ally.

The one I should trust.

My only girlfriend.

　………………That might be the case.