My Girlfriend is a Death Row Inmate

Chapter 11: Calming one’s self leading to tears

“…………”

It’s all over. My resolution, which was nothing more than a matter of feelings, became reality with the death of Misakigawa Yuuna. By not reporting the murder that happened before my eyes, I am fully complicit. It’s not about aiding and abetting in fleeing or anything like that. While I may be less guilty than the actual perpetrator, the fact that the other culprit is Shizuku Nanagi of all people complicates matters. I don’t think she deserves the death penalty… but I should prepare for a considerable prison sentence. Maybe even life imprisonment.

With Yuuna’s body in the background, Shizuku bent down in front of me.

“Are you scared of me?” she asked.

“…………No,”

“Then what are you scared of?”

“…………”

I wasn’t sure if I was scared of Shizuku Nanagi or the dead body of Yuuna with her neck crushed. Am I scared of the act of murder, or am I scared of the swarm of rats? Maybe I’m scared of all of it together.

“…Give me your hand,” she said.

“Huh?”

“Just do it.”

I complied and extended my hand. She guided my trembling left hand to her own chest.

“…………Eh?!”

I instinctively tried to pull my hand back, but I would need to be prepared for my wrist to be dislocated to resist her strength. There was no way I could muster that kind of resolve here and now. Emotionally, I was not just uncomfortable… I was even happy about it.

“I’ll ask you one more time. If you’re scared of me, you can run away. I won’t kill you. This is your last chance to reconsider. Will you really hide me?”

She said calmly. And for that purpose, she pressed my hand against her chest. Indeed, touching something soft calms the mind. But more than that, the recognition of a woman’s chest is causing even more unease. I need to come to a conclusion quickly, or she’ll keep doing this forever.

…But I didn’t particularly mind.

Wait, no! Let’s calm down for now.

“…Shizuku-san is a death row inmate. A murderer. I shouldn’t associate with someone like that, let alone get involved. It’s not just a feeling. From the moment we first met, when you killed Yuuna, I’ve been convinced. You’re really―――an inhumane person.”

“Yeah.”

“But… even so, I want to protect you. Not because I’m a liar, but because I don’t want to lose someone like you, who sees me as a genuinely honest person. I want to continue holding onto this feeling.”

“Even if it means going against the law?”

“…The law only protects the body. There’s no law that protects the heart. The law can’t protect intangible things. But Shizuku-san can protect that. Even though you’re someone who can kill without hesitation, I still love the person named Shizuku Nanagi.”

A confession of love resembling a cross. A sinful burden to be borne as long as she remained by my side. It’s something that nobody, not just ordinary people but anyone who wants to live a normal life, should bear. Protecting her while trying to live a normal life. My desires are incompatible. At least not in the current situation.

Fear, dread, terror, apprehension. There may be moments of confusion having a woman whose values are so different beside me. Even so, I still want to protect her.

For the sake of the one person who never once called me a liar.

For her.

I am willing to go against the desires for death and choose life.

I will protect the life of death row inmate Shizuku Nanagi no matter what. I won’t let her face the death penalty. Absolutely not.

“…………Right. Is that your answer?”

She released my hand and hugged me tightly with an innocent smile on her face. I wasn’t prepared to catch her. I was just pushed over by her force.

“Thank you♪ For entrusting me with your life, my decision wasn’t wrong. I’m really, really―――happy, Nfufu.”

There’s a saying, “Be the bigger person.”

It’s a counter to actions and statements obedient to emotions and desires. Here, being a bigger person means being a rational and sensible person in accordance with social norms. If we go by that definition, my decision would be considered childish, lacking rationality and social acceptability. There’s no guarantee that she won’t commit crimes in the future. Anyone would hesitate to call this decision an act of an adult.

But if being an adult meant being inflexible and unable to stick to one’s own feelings, then I’m fine with being a child forever. I will protect her as a child. What’s the use of being a bigger person? What’s the use of being righteous or respectable? There’s nothing to gain from it. There’s nothing in this world that can be protected by becoming the bigger person. There’s only the ordinary world and the ordinary society. A peaceful and peaceful life. It’s arrogance to protect that. Even if nobody protects them, they still exist.

The assumption that everything will collapse if nobody protects them is meaningless. Throughout history, there has never been a time when all humans faced the same direction and held the same beliefs. Humans can cooperate with each other, but they can never become one.

“So from now on… I am your slave. Don’t hesitate to tell me anything, okay, master? If you wish, I will give you everything. I vow to love everything about you. I vow to affirm everything about you and protect everything about you. If there’s someone you want to kill, I’ll kill them for you. If there’s someone you want to protect, I’ll protect them for you. If you want to explore a woman’s body… you can use me however you like. With this, we are equals.”

“―――Umm, may I ask one thing?”

“Sure, what is it?”

“Those rats… how are you controlling them?”

She’s the only one in the world who can control such a large number of rats freely. It’s impossible to achieve such coordination with just feeding. At this point, they’re basically her arms and legs.

In simple terms, she revealed the trick.

“I have the ability to control any living creature whose name I know. But humans are always the ones to give names. It’s not that strange. I give them names in human language, so it’s pointless if humans can’t recognize them. Even if there were true names, they would be meaningless if they weren’t human. I gave names to those rats one by one. For creatures without names, I can simply give them names myself. That alone makes them completely under my control.”

“How do you undo it?”

“For humans, you just have to change the name. For other creatures, suicide might be the only option. But even if I say that, I know everything about every living creature whose name I’ve learned, so I won’t let them commit suicide.”

Shizuku never tried to ask for my name. That’s her sincerity. The fact that she can control everything with just a name meant that she didn’t really need to ask for my name. In reality, there’s no need for her to ask for me to hide her. If she simply asked for my name and controlled me, that’s the end of it, really.

“…Then just one more thing.”

“What is it?”

“I… told you Misakigawa Yuuna’s name, right? About Shizuku’s power… even if it’s publicized, it’s hard to believe. People might just think it’s some kind of delusion or that you’re mentally ill. I believe it because I saw it with my own eyes, but actually, I knew part of it even before I got an explanation―――Yuuna told me.”

“…………And?”

“She knew about your power. If she was just a bystander, the information wouldn’t have been so detailed. And as much as she was infatuated with Keisuke, I know she’s not the type to casually kill someone.”

Calling it madness was convenient, but what bothered me was Yuuna’s behavior right before she was killed. It’s surprising for anyone to emerge from a swarm of rats, but she immediately resorted to self-preservation as soon as she thought she was about to be killed.

‘No! No! Let go, let go of me! What did I do?!’

‘No! I don’t know, I don’t know! Ryuma-kun, help me!’

Even if she was prepared to kill, she wasn’t prepared to be killed. Just that alone raises questions, but now that I’ve witnessed Shizuku’s absurd power, one possibility came to mind.

“…Did you manipulate Yuuna?”

Shizuku Nanagi.

She smiled and tilted her head.