My Cute Childhood Friend Can't Sleep Peacefully Unless She's Holding Onto My 'Thing'... ~Could My 'Thing' Be Her Secret Comfort for Peaceful Sleep!?~ - Chapter 04: It Seems the Cute Girl Can't Feel at Ease Unless She Holds My Thing – A Letter from Manami to Chocola

Chapter 04: It Seems the Cute Girl Can’t Feel at Ease Unless She Holds My Thing – A Letter from Manami to Chocola

To Chocola in Heaven,

— Hey Chocola, I wonder what I’ve been able to do for you?

I attempted to write you a letter, but even though memories of the time we spent floods my mind, the pen hardly moved.

The first time I realized you weren’t here was when I saw the dishes left untouched in the kitchen. It was then that I felt your absence keenly.

You were quite the glutton despite your small body. I remember like it was yesterday how Dad would pick up your plumpy body and often say,

“Chocola is like a one-liter plastic bottle. He may look light, but He’s unexpectedly heavy when you pick him up. Maybe we should call him ‘Bottle Dog.'”

We all laughed together when he said that. And you, it seemed like you understood human language as your tail wagged energetically as well.

The living room feels strangely spacious without you. The round cushion that was always in your usual spot was your favorite, wasn’t it? That was the definitive place for your daytime naps.

You’d energetically jump onto the cushion and fall into a deep sleep, looking like an angel. 

As you grew older and your legs and hips weakened, you could no longer climb onto the cushion yourself. 

You’d scratch at the edge with your front paws and let out a forlorn yelp.

When I gently picked you up, you stared at me intently with your milky eyes—even though you were nearly blind from cataracts.

— Chocola, do you remember the day we first met?

“…Mom, I want this one.”

The first time we met was at a pet shop. You weren’t in the window in the center where they usually display puppies and kittens; you were alone in a cage near the entrance.

You seemed somewhat listless, unlike the other energetic puppies bustling around the shop, wagging their tails and showing their charms.

However, the moment I picked you up and touched your tail, you perked up. I was so happy.

“Chocola-kun, you’re a part of the family from today on!”

And from that day, you became a member of our family.

Our neighbor Takuya Akaboshi even said, 

“Manami and Chocola are like real siblings.”

And he might be absolutely right. Chocola, you were like a younger brother, an older brother, a father, and even a grandfather figure to me.

Time seemed to flow much faster for you than for me.

You swiftly overtook high school me, becoming an elderly Chocola with weakening legs. Yet, if you were human, you’d be an incredibly dashing old gentleman by now.

What remained unchanged were the deep black color of your fur and the feel of your tail. 

Owners of other Toy Poodles were often amazed. Every time we met during our walks, they’d remark that your color never faded.

You had a friend named Leon. What made us laugh was that despite both of you being males, Leon seemed to have taken quite a liking to you—it was like a puppy love story between boys.

You always acted so aloof, like a tsundere prince! Leon’s owner and I would often exchange glances and laugh together.

— Hey Chocola, I wonder, did I ever give anything back to you?

Realizing your absence only after you’re gone feels too late, doesn’t it?

You were the center of our family.

Dad would ask about you the moment he got home from work. The first thing I’d do after coming back from school was to water you. Mom, who was in charge of meals, was also someone you respected. 

Despite Dad and me doting on you so much, you would always follow Mom around in the living room, like a baby goldfish, always expecting to be fed.

Haha, it’s not true that I can’t write any further; the memories I’ve had with you are endless. But if I don’t cover this sadness, it becomes too painful and sorrowful.

I’ve cried before, watching movies or reading novels, deeply moved. But now, I realize those were fake tears.

When you face a bottomless kind of sadness, tears don’t immediately come. 

The body is designed to block out painful emotions, otherwise, the soul-crushing weight of that intense sorrow would be unbearable.

A few days after you were taken to heaven, I accidentally picked up your favorite blanket in my room and smelled its familiar scent.

The next moment, everything I had been holding back spilled out, and I cried out loud. I kept crying, amazed at how much tears were in my eyes.

I’ve calmed down enough to write this letter, but I’m still not back to my usual self. 

Whenever I see a dog out for a walk from my window or even just catch a glimpse of another Toy Poodle—something you might find laughable—I feel like crying again.

I’m so weak, aren’t I? 

But I’ve decided to stop shedding tears from today on, so you can rest easy in heaven.

Oh, Chocola, you were quite a jealous type. So please, don’t haunt Takuya-kun from next door in his dreams, okay?

Last night, I spent the whole time with Takuya-kun who hugged me gently. 

I’m likely to seek comfort again by snuggling into his futon tonight. 

Takuya-kun promised to console me with something, as a substitute for Chocola’s tail. So please rest assured, there’s no replacement for you, Chocola, but there’s someone who holds me dear.

I also think of that person as much as I thought of Chocola.

— Chocola, I’m truly glad that I met you.

It might be a long time from now, but when I get to heaven, please take a walk with me again. I would be so happy if I could hold your tail tightly once more.

Thank you for being part of our family, Chocola…