Chapter 1 – Prologue

What am I doing with my life…?

I keep thinking about that thing over and over…

Thinking about it won’t change anything… yet my mind keeps working despite my heart’s protests.

“Haah… what am I really going to do from here on out…?”

On my desk. At the edge of my vision sits my half-eaten apple-branded smartphone.

The pitch-black screen gives me the illusion that it’s ringing incessantly, just like always.

I picture them—my girlfriends with their suffocating love—and quietly close my eyes.

—This is a secret only I know—

…About them, and about me too.

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“Mmm… slept great~”

On this pleasant spring morning with sunlight streaming in, I rub my eyes and sit up.

I fix myself up and prepare to head to school. Just like always… or rather, I think most students’ mornings are like this.

Unchanging, universal days—or at least they should be, but the vibrations in my uniform’s inner pocket are a bit… no, way more frequent than other people’s.

It’s not because I have tons of friends or belong to some community. And it’s definitely not official notifications either.

So why does my phone keep vibrating…? It’s because I—Kamiya Ren—have multiple girlfirls.

“…Haah, my stomach hurts this early in the morning.”

If you only read what I’ve written so far, you’d probably think I’m some scumbag player.

But there are circumstances higher than mountains and deeper than oceans…

Well, to be totally honest, I’m indecisive from past experiences, and on top of that, all of my girlfriends have pretty intense personalities.

I know they all care about me, but their love is too heavy… or rather, many of them have what you’d call yandere tendencies.

Anyway, seeing is believing as they say… and besides, she’s about to—

Ding-dong.

…arrive, so let’s head to school.

“Morning, Ren!”

“Morning, Iroha.”

My first girlfriend is Yuzuki Iroha—my childhood friend.

I forget what grade of elementary school it was, but our houses are pretty close neighbors.

Obviously we’ve known each other for ten years, and she’s been my girlfriend the longest.

That’s exactly why the distance between us is so close… her physical affection is intense.

“…Ren~”

“Yes, yes.”

She purses her lips and looks up at me. At some point… a certain ritual became routine between Iroha and me.

I say “certain ritual,” but maybe it’s normal overseas…

So as usual, I pull her close—she’s the perfect height difference—and gently pat her head.

“…Ehehe~ Ren’s scent~”

“…”

Yes, we hug every morning in front of the entrance—or a hug in Western terms.

We hug first thing in the morning, and even the neighborhood ladies are used to seeing it. So I’ve gotten somewhat accustomed to their warm gazes.

…That said, even though I say I’m somewhat used to it, it’s still pretty embarrassing with people watching. That’s why I suggested we stop doing it before, but…

‘…S-Sorry, Ren… I got too carried away, didn’t I…? I-I… I can’t live without you… Please don’t abandon me, I won’t ask for selfish things anymore… I’ll become someone worthy… If-If Ren wants, I’ll do anything… I’m fine being just a convenient woman for your body… I’ll even earn lots of money… S-So please… don’t throw me away… Y-You’re all I have…!’

When I tried to refuse her casually like that, Iroha broke down with a look of despair on her face. I’d never seen Iroha lose it that badly before, so I panicked pretty hard back then.

…I felt like the gazes around us got colder too. Well, after that experience, I realized I couldn’t change our relationship… or rather, I didn’t have the courage to.

“Okay, ten seconds are up, let’s go~”

“…Just a little more…”

“Come on, this isn’t your bed. …We’ll be late for school if we don’t go now.”

I coax her and gently pull away.

“S-Sorry… do you… hate me now…?”

She asks with an anxious look.

…Ever since that day, she’s been breaking down more whenever I try to pull away even slightly.

To dispel that anxiety and calm her down, I gently stroke her cheek.

“I wouldn’t hate you over something like that. Come on… let’s go.”

I say while offering my hand.

“…Ehehe, Ren… I love you…”

“…Me too.”

Leaving behind her expression changing from anxious to genuinely delighted, I start walking.

Unlike my hand, hers is smooth with that softness unique to girls, and I grip it tightly so I won’t let go.

This relationship probably isn’t healthy… She’s dependent on me.

She’s only holding it together because I’m her emotional anchor.

I know this is just a temporary fix… but I still don’t have the option of not doing it.

And so, I head to school with my first girlfriend, Yuzuki Iroha.

—This is my slightly unusual daily life—

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Click.

“…16.2 seconds today. So long… I’m jealous… but the one who’ll be there at the end is…”

—————————

《side: Yuzuki Iroha》

…I wake up… I’m scared…

It feels like I’m alone in a pitch-black darkness with no way forward.

“…I want to see Ren soon…”

I prepare to go to Ren’s house.

Ren likes me when I’m cheerful and cute. He likes me when I’m a bit clingy and devoted. He likes my hair when it’s easy to pet and clean. He likes me at the ideal height difference. He likes me as his childhood friend.

To be Ren’s ideal, I have to be cheerful, clingy, devoted, and clean.

…Because I failed once before.

So I have to work hard today too.

“Morning, Ren!”

…Ahh… I love you so much, Ren… I want to be wrapped in Ren’s scent forever.

Gentle, gentle Ren… that’s why I want more… I want to be just a little greedier.

Ren has unruly hair, so strands always fall on my shoulder… so I collect them every day. I want to feel Ren for longer.

…But if he found out I’m doing this… even gentle Ren would think it’s creepy. …No… I don’t want to be hated…

…Carefully so he doesn’t notice…

“…Just a little more…”

…I don’t want to be hated…

“S-Sorry… do you… hate me now…?”