My Childhood Friend who is My Girlfriend is not Looking at Me

Prologue

“Good morning, Kana-chan.”

“Hmm.”

“…let’s go.”

“Hnn.”

This is how she and I communicate every morning.

Every morning, I pick Kana up from her house two doors down mine, walk to the station, take the train, get off, and walk together to school.

We almost never talk during school.

In the past, I used to be considerate and tried to talk to her about various things, but she only responded with ‘Hnnn or Hmm’, so I gave up trying to talk to her because I was sad that she thought I was annoying her.

Since we’re in the same class, we talk together to class.

When she enters the class and meets an acquaintance, Kana-chan cheerfully says,

“Good morning～♪!”

In the classroom, Kana and I never made eye contact, moreover talk to each other.

She is always so enthusiastic talking to everyone but me.

Then after school, Kana and I go home separately because she often hangs out with her friends.

I asked her to go home with me a few times, but she refused me at every turn, so I gave up asking her.

I’m so miserable that I can’t get her to go home with me even though we are be dating, so I joined the student council to make up my own reasons for not being able to go home with her and started doing after school errands.

When I told Kana that I joined the student council, she only said one word,

‘Hmm.’

Are we really dating? I’m worried myself, but unbelievably, I’m having sex with her as much as other people do with their lovers.

The first time we had sex, we did it because Kana said she wanted to get rid of her virginity as soon as possible.

Since then, we have been having sex about once a month.

Usually on weekends, I get a message from her saying ‘Can I come over your room now?’ I reply ‘Yeah, sure.’, then she comes into my room about five minutes later.

When she enters my room, without saying a word, she takes off her clothes and lies down on my bed, wearing only her underwear.

Taking this as a cue, I also take off my clothes and caress her.

Once I’m sure she is wet enough, I put on a condom and have sex with her.

I sometimes let out some voice during sex, but she put her index finger on my mouth and turns her head to the side. She neither made eye contact nor kissed me during it.

Once we’re finished, she takes a rest naked for about five minutes, gets dressed, and leaves.

I called out the to her before she leaves the room, but she just replied me with ‘Hmm.’ and leaves.

I have known Kana, who lives nearby, for a long time now. We’re always together from kindergarten until now, and we are childhood friends. We became lovers when she gave me Valentine’s Day chocolate in our first year of middle school.

However, this is far from the kind of relationship I had envisioned for us as lovers, and I had tried many ways to improve our relationship, but nothing changed.

To be honest, now I don’t know what to do anymore, I somehow managed to continue our current relationship that just repeats the same thing every day.

Lately, I wonder if she is dating me for just the status of being ‘taken’.

I am aware that the reason we had sex for the first time was because she doesn’t want her friends to know she was a virgin.

The sex that we occasionally have is just bait to keep me dating with her. I know and I am prepared that if someone better than me comes along her life, I will be easily discarded.