My Childhood Friend Told Me to Go Marry the Most Beautiful Woman in the Kingdom, So I Seriously Started Improving Myself—and Somehow Ended Up Making Women Fall Hard - Chapter 40 & 41

Chapter 40: From Gray, Colors Returned

Side: Gina

“You are not human. Just a tool! You need no emotions!”

To me, the world had been gray.
I felt nothing. Nothing had meaning. Nothing truly existed.

I was raised in the shadows.
From the time I was little, I was taught only one thing.

“Protect the young lady.”

Don’t laugh. Don’t cry. Don’t get angry.

Emotions dulled judgment.
Slow judgment led to death.

I was a shield. A substitute. A shadow.

If it was to keep the young lady from being hurt, my life was light.
Light was fine.

If it wasn’t light, it couldn’t be used.

That was what I had been told again and again.

I accepted harsh training. I accepted cruel training. I accepted everything.

And then, the first time I met the young lady—she alone was different.

“Gina. You are human. Not a doll. Not an object. You are my precious friend.”

A friend. Not a doll? Was that really true?

“I will protect you, my lady.”

“……Gina, it’s okay for you to think about yourself too.”

Think? Me?

No.

I protected the young lady. 

That was the only reason I lived.
That was the only thing I had ever been taught.

♢

That day, the highway had been in chaos.

The carriage stopped. Shouts rang out. The escort knights drew their swords.

Goblins swarmed in. Orcs charged forward.

The smell of blood spread, mixed with the stench of burning, and the air of a battlefield flooded into the carriage.

Still in my maid outfit, I checked the position of the hidden blade sewn inside.

The Shadow Division must not step into the light.
A shadow stays a shadow—and strikes only when needed.

The young lady was trembling.

“Gina……”

“I will protect you, my lady.”

I did not smile. I did not comfort her. I only protected.

The guards held the front line. But there were too many.

A goblin’s hand reached toward the carriage.

The moment the door was forced open, I moved.

With a hidden knife, I slit one throat. Before it could scream, it fell.

I cut another’s wrist, making it drop its weapon.

That should have been enough.
Once the guards noticed, they would take care of the rest.

That was how it was supposed to go.

“Kyaa—!”

The opposite door opened.
A goblin’s arm reached for the young lady.

I was not used to group combat.
That was my failure.

My vision narrowed.
My judgment collapsed into a single choice.

—Protect the young lady.

In that instant, I looked at nothing else.

A presence behind me.

Pain came late.
The impact knocked the air from my lungs.

One more goblin—emerging from behind the one I had already killed.

It attacked me.

Useless. I failed to protect her.
Unfit even as a shadow.

Just before my consciousness faded, I heard her voice.

“Gina……!”

I clutched onto that voice alone and sank into the darkness.

♢

When I opened my eyes again, I smelled the forest.
The smell of rain. The smell of fire. The smell of cloth.

And then—a man’s voice.

“You okay?”

It was a voice I didn’t know.
And yet, it wasn’t scary.

It was calm, trying to put me at ease.
Not with logic, but somehow, something inside me responded to it.

He draped his coat over me.

“…H-H—!”

“It’s alright. It’s over now.”

The way he said it was strangely gentle.

I should thank him.
As a tool, I had a mask I wore to survive outside, for my master’s sake.

“…T-Thank you…”

He shook his head.

“Save the thanks for later. Let’s get back first.”

Go back? Could I go back?

It wasn’t an order. It wasn’t shouting.

Someone like me—who could only live in one place—could return?

Me, who had failed to protect the young lady?

My chest suddenly tightened, and it hurt.

He picked me up and carried me.
There was no hesitation in his arms.

They were warm—and it felt like, for the first time, someone had chosen me.

Why was he here?

Saving the young lady should have come first.
Putting her first should have been obvious.

So why did he save me instead of her?

I couldn’t understand.

I was the young lady’s shadow.
A disposable piece. A disposable piece has a light life.
Something meant to be thrown away.

And yet—

This man didn’t throw me away.

When we returned to the road, the young lady was crying.

“Gina……!”

I was pulled into an embrace, and right after him, the young lady’s warmth reached me too.

The escort knight bowed to the man.

“May I have your name?”

“Hort. I’m a knight trainee, on my way to the royal capital.”

Sir Hort.

For some reason, his name echoed over and over in the back of my mind.

The young lady was staring at him.

“What a wonderful person.”

At those words, my chest stirred—just a little.

A man the young lady took a liking to.

Then what I had to do, as someone of the shadows, was clear.

Investigate him. The Shadow Division’s way.

Was he an enemy? 

Could he be used? 

Was he dangerous? 

Was he a man it was safe to let near the young lady?

That was my duty.

And so, I began to look into him.

♢

Hort Rubel.

A knight trainee.
The third son of a baron family.

Graduated from the academy with excellent results—in swordsmanship, magic (utility magic), and academics.

After graduation, assigned to the Second Knight Order.

He does not spread his own achievements.
He does not introduce himself more than necessary.
He does not accept praise.
He does not boast about what he has done.
He does not put on a brave front.
He does not flatter.
He does not lie.

Even when dealing with high-ranking nobles—where connections could be made—he showed no calculating intent to seek profit.

The more information I gathered, the less I understood him.

What did he want?
What was he trying to gain?

An ordinary man would want fame. Money. Women. Power.

As someone of the shadows, my job was to identify a person’s desires and dig up their weaknesses.

But his records carried very little scent of such desires.

-A childhood friend from the academy
-The commander of the Second Knight Order
-An oni-folk woman
-A beastwoman warrior
-A mage girl
-An elf

Women gathered around him—yet he tried to take nothing.

I couldn’t understand it.

As someone from the Shadow Division, a person like him was incomprehensible.

And the things you don’t understand are the hardest to look away from.

Before I realized it, I was following his movements not for my reports, but for myself.

It became a habit.

In the morning, I checked his movements.
At noon, I picked up rumors about him.
At night, I traced changes in how people spoke of him.

He slipped into my daily life.

It was supposed to be work—but it slowly stopped feeling like work.

I couldn’t stop that change.

Before I knew it, the gray world I had lived in had begun to take on color—through a world called him.

“So, Gina. You seem really happy lately.”

“Eh?”

“You haven’t noticed yourself? Your face actually has expressions now.”

“What… do you mean?”

I didn’t understand it myself.

Had something really changed about me?

“I see. Then—say, Hort.”

Jolt!

“Hey, Hort.”

Jolt! Jolt!

“Hort.”

Jolt! Jolt! Jolt!

“Fufu, you’re so obvious. He really was brave and wonderful, wasn’t he?”

“Whom are you referring to?”

“Sir Hort Rubel.”

“!!!”

Just hearing the young lady say Sir Hort’s name made my body heat up unnaturally.

Why did he save me?
Why did he choose me—a shadow?

If I asked the other knights, they would probably answer easily.

To earn gratitude?
To get close to the young lady?
For achievements?

But that wasn’t it.

He asked for nothing.
He simply moved because a life was about to be taken.

He didn’t seek reward from the young lady.
He didn’t try to use my existence either.

“I won’t be able to return to the capital for a while because of work. Gina, I have a favor to ask.”

“Yes, my lady.”

“It seems Sir Hort will be taking on a very difficult mission.”

“A difficult mission?”

“Yes. I learned it from my father, but there’s going to be a reform proposal inside the military soon.”

I didn’t understand complicated matters.
But I could tell one thing—

The young lady was about to entrust me with something important.

“My father will be involved in supporting it as well, and to gather information, the Shadow Division will be mobilized.”

“…Us?”

“Yes. And Sir Hort will be one of those working together with the Shadow Division on an internal investigation. I’ve also heard that people under the Marshal are being dispatched to each unit.”

That was when I realized it.

The young lady was telling me to become the shadow who would work alongside Sir Hort.

“I want to know more about Sir Hort. Would you tell me?”

“If that is what you wish, my lady.”

“Fufu, then I do wish it. Gina—become Sir Hort’s shadow.”

“Yes!”

Inside me, Sir Hort had already become special.

Because he was special, I wanted to watch him.
Because he was special, I wanted to stay by his side.

My life was supposed to exist for the young lady.
And yet, before I knew it, I had started wanting to protect his life as well.

As someone of the shadows…

I could help with his work.
I could erase his enemies.
I could stay close to him.

The moment I thought that, a chill ran down my spine.

I was dangerous.

I had been taught that emotions were unnecessary—and yet, I found myself thinking about Sir Hort.

Even so, I couldn’t stop.

He was the only one who didn’t throw me away.
He was the only one who chose me.

And so, for his sake—
I could do anything.

♢

As someone of the shadows, I waited for a chance to approach him.

Inside the Third Knight Order, he was being mistreated.

Beaten. Burdened with work. Watched. Mocked. Isolated.

I watched it all from the darkness.

I don’t know how many times I thought about killing the Third Knight Order.
How many times I thought about killing the knights of the Fifth Unit.
How many times I thought about wiping out everyone who stood against Sir Hort.

The more pain Sir Hort felt, the more my own heart hurt.

I am a shadow.

From the darkness, I could press a blade to a neck.
While they slept, I could slit their throat.

Should I just kill them all?

No. It wasn’t part of the mission.

Unapproved killings would put the young lady in danger.
They would cause trouble for Sir Hort.

As someone of the Shadow Division, I wasn’t allowed to do that.

…Even so.

I found myself wanting to free him from his suffering.

That contradiction made my chest burn.

I took one deep breath.

I would die for the young lady.
I would move for him.

I would listen to his wishes first—for him to survive, to protect his world.

So that I wouldn’t waste the meaning of him choosing me.

“First, make contact with him and learn his intentions. Then, fulfill what he desires.”

For me, the young lady was always the highest priority.

But right now—

Sir Hort came first.

Chapter 41: A Letter from That Person

The day after the mysterious maid disappeared.

I woke up as usual before the bell rang, finished up the odd jobs, and then headed to the captain’s office.

The toilet didn’t stink. The laundry was dry. The patrol schedule was in order.

That was starting to feel normal.

It felt good—but sometimes I wondered how long I was supposed to keep this up.

In front of Captain Oren’s office door, I took a single breath to steady myself.

Four knocks.

“Excuse me.”

No reply.

I knocked again.

“…Captain Oren?”

From inside, I heard the faint sound of paper rubbing together.

“Come in.”

A low voice answered, and I opened the door.

The air inside the room felt different from usual.
Damp.

Not quite anger, not quite fear—something mixed, heavy with emotion.

Captain Oren was standing in front of her desk.

Normally, she would be leaning on her chair, idly playing with the hilt of her dagger.
Today was different.

In her hand, she was gripping a single letter.

Thick, high-quality paper.
The wax seal had already been broken.

Her fingers were trembling.

It was the first time I had ever seen Captain Oren shake.

“…Captain Oren?”

“Hort. Tell me what this letter has to do with you.”

“Huh? A letter?”

“You don’t understand what this letter means?”

“I’m sorry. I don’t know.”

I didn’t understand it.

I could tell it was a high-quality letter, sure—but without even seeing what was inside, how was I supposed to know who it was from?

If I’d seen the wax seal, maybe I could’ve recognized a crest.
But I hadn’t even seen that.

Still, Captain Oren’s voice was lower than usual.

Not shouting.
Tight, strained—like she was forcing the words out from deep in her throat.

“I see…”

“What was written in it?”

“…I can’t show it to you. I’ll explain it verbally.”

And then she told me the contents.

-The incident started because the Third Knight Order had been pushing their work onto the Second Knight Order.
-This had been done on an organizational level, and it came to light after someone appealed directly to the Marshal.
-The work that should have belonged to the Third Knight Order was returned by the Second.
-Because of that, members of the Third Knight Order started picking fights with the Second.
-One of them, acting out of resentment, attacked Hort.
-Now, unsettling rumors were spreading inside the Third Knight Order, and it had become a subject of investigation.

I didn’t know who the letter was from, and it never mentioned any secret orders.

Even so, it was obvious that Captain Oren believed the contents were true.

“Just who are you? A mere knight trainee—why would that person write a letter about you?!”

“I don’t know that myself. But what’s written there is the truth.”

It was something I could never get people to believe just by explaining it myself.

The more I argued while I wasn’t trusted, the more it only sounded like excuses.

But once it was written in a letter, it was accepted as truth.

My sister had said it before.

Words spoken by someone important are far easier to believe.

Between the person who sent that letter and Captain Oren, there was already a relationship of trust.

I slowly let out a breath.

The weight in my chest eased just a little.

Still, this letter wasn’t the result of anything I had done.
Someone had intentionally thrown it in—to help me.

Captain Oren, still gripping the edge of the paper, spoke in a trembling voice.

“Hort.”

“Yes.”

“Is what’s written here true?”

“Yes.”

“…I see. Then… I’m sorry.”

She closed her eyes and bowed deeply to me.

“Huh?”

“I hit you. I hurt you. I judged you as someone who could harm the Third Knight Order and carried out a purge. But that was a mistake. I’m truly sorry.”

It was a sincere apology.
She genuinely regretted what had happened.

“I know you held back, Captain. There were claw marks on my chest. I had some pretty nasty bruises. But there were no serious injuries.”

In truth, I’d been deprived of meals—but it was basically just sleeping for three days.

“And by purging me on the very first day, you moved first—so that I wouldn’t be targeted any further by the Third Knight Order as a whole.”

Back then, when I was brought outside, the Third Unit captain traced a finger across my chest.

That had been to confirm whether the purge had really been carried out.

“Honestly, I’m glad I was assigned to the Fifth Unit right after joining the Third Knight Order.”

Captain Oren’s fist clenched, her claws digging into her palm.

I knew she had acted in her own way to keep me from being killed—or treated even worse—within the Third Knight Order.

That was exactly why I decided to handle the harassment myself and try to improve things.

I thought that, in her unit, it might actually be possible.

And in reality, the unit members did soften their attitudes because of my actions.

My sister’s words echoed in the back of my mind.

Women value territory, and they care deeply about the relationships within their faction.

She must have heard from other members of the Third Knight Order that I was an enemy.

And yet, she still showed me mercy.

Because of that, I knew Captain Oren wasn’t a bad person.

“It’s part of a captain’s job. Doubting people is only natural.”

“…No, it isn’t. I didn’t even investigate it myself. I judged you based only on rumors and things I heard from others.”

“I think that, for you, it was also the result of valuing the words of people you trusted. No one is all-knowing. The world we see and the information we have are limited. Judging someone based on the information you know is unavoidable—because at the time, you truly believe you’re right.”

Honestly, I didn’t know if I could’ve changed Captain Oren’s mind on my own.

Someone—whose face I still didn’t know—had helped me, and that was why I could talk to her now.

“…I thought I was protecting the Fifth Unit.”

“You were protecting it.”

“I thought I was protecting it… and ended up being danced around like an idiot.”

Her anger trembled, shaking closer and closer to tears.

She bowed her head toward me.

“I’m sorry. I’m the stupid one. You didn’t try to justify yourself, and you didn’t even defend yourself. Even though the Third Knight Order was clearly at fault, you never criticized them.”

Captain Oren clenched her teeth, almost slammed her fist into the desk—then stopped herself when she looked at the letter.

In my mind, yesterday’s collaborator surfaced.

A mask. A maid outfit. A sweet scent.

…Had she moved behind the scenes?

“Captain. With this, we can correct one of the rumors.”

“…”

Captain Oren’s eyes fixed on me.

“Hort… what are you, really?”

“Huh?”

“A problem child rumored across the entire knight order—yet to overturn that, a written accusation declaring your innocence arrives from that person. Honestly, that’s scary in its own way.”

This person was earnest—for better or worse—doing her best as the Fifth Unit captain of the Third Knight Order.

Time to flip it.

What if the enemy—the person she disliked—turned out to be different from what she believed?

Maybe now was that moment.

Captain Oren was still gripping the letter, trembling with anger directed at herself.

“Captain. I have one request.”

Her gaze lifted.

“What is it? If you want to hit me, go ahead. You have the right, Hort.”

“That’s not it. I’d like to request your assistance—though not in that way.”

I left a short pause.

If I spoke honestly, it would be simple.

As someone conducting an internal investigation, I wanted allies.

But I couldn’t openly tell her about the secret mission.

So—

“I want to rise in rank.”

Captain Oren’s eyebrow twitched slightly.

“…That’s sudden.”

“I’m being honest. I want to earn a promotion through achievements within the Third Knight Order.”

She stayed silent.

Her cat ears flicked once.

“I’m a secretary. I can see documents, people, and how the unit flows. If I produce results here, that credit becomes your evaluation too.”

“…So you’re using me as a stepping stone?”

“Yes—if you’d allow me to.”

I wouldn’t end as just a kind man.

I would show her ambition.
Strength.
And the cleverness to make use of others.

That was what I needed Captain Oren to see.

“But it won’t be just me. Why don’t you rise together with me? If the Fifth Unit’s evaluation goes up, your influence goes up too. Within the Third Knight Order, the Fifth Unit won’t be something they can ignore anymore.”

“……”

“At that point, my name stays as your right hand. I get promoted. You protect your unit. Our interests line up, don’t they?”

Silence.

Then Captain Oren let out a quiet breath.

“…You change personalities way too fast. At first, you were a serious guy. Then a light, smooth-talking one. And now—you’re an ambitious schemer?”

“This is my true self. I won’t dress it up. I use what I can. Captain Oren—even you.”

She stared at me for a while.

A measuring look.
But there was no disgust in it.

“…I thought you were an idiot.”

“I hear that a lot.”

“I also thought you were just a womanizer—lightweight, unlucky, nothing more.”

She stepped closer.

“But now… it’s different.”

Captain Oren placed the letter on the desk.

“I don’t dislike ambition. A smart, useful man is appealing.”

“Thank you.”

The corners of her mouth relaxed slightly.

“Fine. I’ll cooperate.”

“Really?”

“To raise the Fifth Unit’s evaluation. And while doing that, you make a name for yourself. That makes sense. Besides, I know you’ve been handling all the paperwork, cleaning, and laundry these past two weeks. I’ve even received petitions from unit members asking that Hort be treated better.”

Saying that, she tossed a petition my way.

At the top of the list was the name of Mr. Daut—the tanuki beastman.

Captain Oren sat down in her chair and crossed her arms.

“But there’s one condition.”

“What is it?”

“I owe a debt to that person. And even so, I hurt you—trampled over that debt. So… I want you to hit me once.”

She stared at me with fierce eyes.

It was probably her way of settling things.

“No.”

“Why?!”

“You said from the start that what you did was education—part of training. So if I ever hit you, it’ll only be during training.”

I answered instantly.

She snorted.

“…You’re cheeky.”

“I am ambitious.”

“Hmph. But that kind of man is easier to trust. We’re partners now. And I don’t dislike good men.”

This time, Captain Oren wasn’t wearing her usual stiff smile.

She was laughing—truly enjoying herself.