Misunderstood Vampire Bakasane-chan

The Shirakawa residence lacks protein supplements. Considering Hikaru’s muscular build, this was surprising.

I had assumed he hid expensive protein powders from thieving hands, perhaps stashed in some secret spot. But I was wrong. Under his bed, where he once hid adult magazines, was just a spiky, black-painted katana-like object. In the attic, I thought.

As I pondered this in his manga and pastel-colored room, I couldn’t help but comment.

“There’s no protein here… I can’t believe Hikaru built his body on natural foods alone.”

“Haha, out of everything here, you first notice the absence of protein supplements. Typical Kasane-chan…”

Hikaru joked about the massive stacks of manga books that still need to collapse the floor under their weight. I was amazed that the thick layer of muscle enveloping him wasn’t built by those addictive-tasting powders. He must be on a very controlled diet.

As I marveled at Hikaru’s unexpected asceticism, Ikus, the vampire lady outside, said something outrageous.

“Muscles are just ugly, after all.”

“Ah, Miss, you should never say that to someone who loves muscular physiques.”

“Huh? What’s that about muscles?”

Ikus’s statement about muscles being ugly struck a nerve in me, and both my twin tails bristled in anger.

“Ikus, that’s wrong!”

That was a misguided view, influenced by current trends.

Sure, Misaki’s E-cup bust and the appeal of fuller bodies are undeniable. Even lean bodies, stripped of fat and muscle, might be considered beautiful in these affluent times.

But muscles being outdated and clumsy? That’s where I draw the line. Muscles are, without a doubt,…

“Cool!”

Absolutely. I’ve heard somewhere that power is power. That means that strength is irreplaceable.

Everyone has forgotten the awesomeness of muscles. That’s sad, so I need to remind them of their value.

“So, let’s train together!”

“Eh? What do you mean?”

“Let’s start with squats. You’ll understand once we begin.”

“Wait, don’t pull… wow, you’re strong!”

As Ikus resisted my pull with surprising strength and agility, I realized she had great potential. With added muscle, she could be unstoppable. Excited by the thought, I prepared to exert more force when suddenly…

“Please wait!”

“Whoa!”

Just as I was about to go all out, Saori, the pretentious maid, appeared and blocked our path. I was confused until she pulled Hikaru by the hand and said,

“We can’t have you causing a stir here. The books might collapse. Hikaru-sama, if you would…”

“Ah, sure. Here, Kasane-chan, your favorite side chest pose!”

And so, Hikaru began posing, his thick muscles evident even through his clothes. I couldn’t help but express my admiration. Such magnificence needed to be linguistically celebrated.

“Wow! His chest is about to burst through his shirt! And those hamstring muscles, like a muscular expressway!”

“I don’t even know what to say to that anymore…”

While Hikaru looked slightly baffled, I gleefully enjoyed the impromptu bodybuilding show.

I might have forgotten something in the excitement, but who cares? Present muscles are more important than future ones. My twin tails are ecstatic!

“…Miss, are you alright?”

“I just had to escape for real… He might be another vampire’s minion or just some monstrous human hero. I still have some doubts.”

“…So, we have a yandere and a muscle fetishist here. Vampires are a peculiar bunch.”

“Hey, I am not a yandere! And what do you mean by ‘as expected’?”

But their conversation could have been clearer to me.

In the Shirakawa household, I learned something surprising: no protein supplements. Considering Hikaru’s muscular physique, this revelation was astounding.

I had initially assumed Hikaru must be hiding expensive protein powders somewhere safe from thieves, but I was mistaken. Under his bed, where he once hid adult magazines, I found only a spiky, black-painted, katana-like object. The attic might be a likely hiding spot.

Pondering in his manga-filled room, bursting with pastel colors, I couldn’t help but remark.

“Looks like there’s no protein here… I can’t believe Hikaru built this body solely on natural foods.”

“Haha. The first thing you notice in this room full of manga is the lack of protein. That’s so like you, Kasane-chan…”

I was amazed as Hikaru humorously commented about the manga collection not breaking the floor under its weight. I never imagined that his thick muscular armor wasn’t built on those addictive-tasting powders. He must have a very controlled diet.

While I was awestruck by Hikaru’s discipline, Ikus, the self-proclaimed vampire with a stunningly beautiful yet slightly underwhelming physique, closed her blue eyes and nodded.

Over tea served in the clean and dust-free attic room — a product of Ikus’s Japanese culture fascination — I shared my encounter with the older man I had met the other night. He was as fluent in Japanese as Ikus, which was rare for a foreigner.

Though I didn’t fully grasp the concept of vampires, he seemed like a good person. Knowing Ikus was acquainted with him, I wondered if she knew his name. As I pondered, Ikus traced the rim of her teacup with her delicate fingers and revealed his name.

“That’s John Doe, a living dead man.”

“Ah, so his name is John, huh? Short and easy to remember.”

“No, Kasane-chan, that’s not the point… Ikus, what do you mean by ‘living dead’? And a king-killer, no less?”

“Uh-oh.”

Puzzled by Hikaru’s seriousness, I realized that living dead was a strange concept. I hadn’t thought much about it since I’m in a similar situation. Maybe I shouldn’t have casually mentioned death to John.

As I reflected, Ikus continued the story.

“John Doe, a nameless commoner. Just a vampire executed for regicide and erased from his tomb, still wandering around.”

“What does that mean? And he killed royalty? That’s…”

“Yes. If it were his fangs, they could even pierce me. When he said ‘you’re next,’ he probably meant that.”

Royalty. Wandering out of graves. The concept of vampires suddenly seemed more diverse to me.

A bit late, I realized that being a king-killer wasn’t good. That meant John had killed someone. I was shocked.

“Uh-oh? John killed someone?”

“Yes.”

“That’s not good. And he’s after you, Ikus?”

“Seems like it.”

“Oh…”

I pondered momentarily, looking up at the sky before turning towards a sound. There lay a popular comic I had read when I was younger. It had fallen due to my earlier commotion and opened to a page where the protagonist grieved a friend killed by an enemy. I thought that’s why such things are bad.

Observing me, Saori asked with a cold voice.

“What do you want to do about it, Futaba-san?”

“We have to stop him, of course.”

Stopping bad things is just what one does. You shouldn’t do bad things because it makes others sad or angry.

That’s just not nice. I may not want everyone to be happy, but I don’t want them to be sad.

As I resolved to act, Hikaru’s voice stopped me.

“Wait, Kasane-chan. Don’t get involved any further. It’s dangerous for you.”

Dangerous, sure. But that’s the point.

Hikaru is kind, which is why he says such things. But his old, perverted self seems gone now.

“Ahaha.”

My laugh indicated I wasn’t going to stop. I ca not back down just because it’s a bit risky.

“Haha. Hikaru, you’re silly.”

Even though he’s grown, some things never change. His concern is nice but unnecessary for me. A little danger won’t deter me. I’ll remind him of the risk-taker I am.

“Isn’t it worth doing because it’s dangerous? If you’re scared of clashing, nothing will change. If no one’s doing it, I will. It’s important to tell people when they’re wrong, no matter how strong they are.”

“That’s true, but…”

Hikaru hesitated. Right, I forgot I’m now the delicate and adorable Bakasane-chan. Feminine or not, Hikaru should know better.

Then Saori’s cold voice interjected again.

“Even if you die doing it?”

Die doing it. I hadn’t considered that. But even so, my actions wouldn’t change.

As I faced Saori’s emotionless expression, I spoke firmly.

“John seemed nice. He probably won’t do anything… But even if he betrays my trust…”

I’m different from Hikaru. I easily trust people because I want to. My trust might not be worth much, but it’s not meaningless. I have to stand by it.

“If that happens, then I was just a fool.”

No regrets. A genius like me couldn’t possibly make such a mistake, right?

“Like the sun… a vampire so unlike me… detestable.”

“Hehe, completely the opposite of you, Miss. Perfect compatibility.”

“Or the worst kind?”

Lost in my thoughts, I didn’t notice the conversation between Ikus and Saori.

“Where could he be?”

“Kasane, you’ve been looking around a lot after school. What are you searching for?”

“Hmm? A wicked old man.”

Misaki looked surprised, bouncing as she did while I scanned the area. I didn’t see the distinctive wide-brimmed hat anywhere.

I had boldly proclaimed in front of Hikaru but had been aimlessly wandering these past few days. It was inevitable, with so little information on John. But wait, wasn’t he a vampire? I should have searched at night. But growing, Bakasane-chan falls asleep after ten.

As I walked home, chatting with Misaki…

“Hi! Excuse me?”

“Whoa!”

A red-haired, freckled girl, seemingly a foreigner, approached us speaking English.

Misaki was startled, but I was taken aback, too. Trying to respond in my not-so-fluent English, I blurted out.

“Um, I can speak Japanese!”

Misaki reassured me, “That’s obvious! You speak Japanese well!” But I had recently failed a Japanese test. Could I speak it?

Suddenly uncertain, Misaki tried to boost my confidence with what sounded like a famous quote.

The girl laughed at our exchange and then revealed, speaking fluent Japanese,

“Hehe, kidding! I can speak Japanese too! Just a little joke!”

Tricked! Impressed by her, I wondered,

“Is her Japanese better than mine?”