Misunderstood Vampire Bakasane-chan

“Table three, two tendons!”

“Got it!”

“Kasane, next, bring Set B to the counter seat!”

“Right on!”

Holding two donburi in my right hand and a daily side dish of grilled meat set meal in my left, I quickly move through the restaurant as instructed. Navigating through the packed seats, I deliver the meals.

Well, it’s just like helping out at home. I often hear friends talk about volunteering to clean the bath at home for some pocket money, and it’s the same. No big deal.

But I’m proud of my brisk efficiency. In the class relay, they’d say with Kasane-chan alone, we might just win, considering how fast I am.

Quickly to the counter seat… um, what was it again? Right, two tendons.

“Here you are, please wait!”

“Oh, thank you… Huh? I didn’t order tendon. And two of them…”

Huh? Ah, did I make a mistake?

I tend to judge people by their character, but this chubby guy could easily polish off two bowls this time.

I admit my mistake, honestly.

“Oops, I thought you looked like you’d eat a lot, so I got it wrong. Are you sure Set B will be enough?”

“Ugh, I know I’m a bit overweight… but do I look that fat?”

“Huh? You have a healthy belly! I don’t mind it at all!”

“Really?”

Of course. A bit of a belly is fine if you’re healthy. Compared to a sumo wrestler, that’s nothing. I don’t dislike a hearty eater.

The customer’s face turns red, looking embarrassed, but I wish he’d have more confidence. No matter how much I eat, I never gain an inch on my stomach or chest.

But I made a mistake with the order. I was worried about it when, as expected, a shadow loomed over me. My tall mother towered over me with a fierce look.

“Kasane!”

“Geez, mom… ack!”

“Kasane, what’s with the wrong order? Apologize!… I’m so sorry for my foolish daughter’s mistake, sir.”

“Sorry.”

Then, with her large hand, my mom forced my head down. I could have bowed on my own. I did feel genuinely sorry.

Mistakes do require an apology. I reflected on my actions.

“It’s okay, don’t worry. Ah, such an honest girl.”

“If only that were enough… Kasane, don’t just stand there; clear that tray before it gets cold.”

“Right! First, Set B for the customer!”

“Thank you.”

Once forgiven, it’s natural to move quickly. Determined, I handed over the meal and hustled through the restaurant again.

“Tendon, coming up!”

Soon, I reached table three, and this time, I correctly delivered the tendon.

Sitting there were a couple of regular customers who come almost daily. Their names were Sachi-san and Keima-san. Having witnessed my scolding, Keima-san teased with a sly smile.

“Ah, there she is. Kasane-chan, you’re late!”

“Sorry, I made a mistake. Sorry if it’s cold, both of you!”

“Ahaha. Kasane is so honest… How about it? Do you want to be my little sister?”

“Haha, then Kasane-chan would be my future sister-in-law? That’s nice.”

“Ha. Dreaming such a happy dream, huh, table three’s number two?”

“Table three’s number two!? Sachi, you’re kidding, right?”

“Ah, my mistake, it was table three’s number three.”

“In a flash, a further drop in the rankings!? I’m paired with a table and number! Now it’s like a double!”

Before I could respond, the couple at the table seemed excited.

Keima-san was turning blue, but Sachi-san was smiling joyously. I realized they must be flirting with each other.

But, a sister, huh? I’ve always been an only child, so I never thought about it. It might be fun to have an older sister. Sachi-san is a bit naughty, but she’s kind and sometimes pats my head. It’s not a bad idea, though it’s unrealistic. So, if I were to be a sister, then Sachi-san would be…

“Big sister?”

“…Pff!”

“Gah! This is bad! Too cute! Forget the rankings… marry me, Sachi.”

“Keima, you’ve completely switched targets to Kasane… You want to be called ‘big brother,’ don’t you? Ugh, but I understand that feeling…”

“Huh? Big brother?”

“Choke! Kasane-chan, don’t look at me with those innocent eyes!”

Saying “big sister” and “big brother,” words I’d never spoken before, the two started acting strangely, holding their chests.

Their behavior was all over the place. I wonder what’s up with them and their talk of ‘moe’ and ‘precious.’

I don’t quite get it, but if they’re happy, that’s fine. But then…

“Whoa…”

“…!”

I turned around to see my mother looming like a demon again. I cringed, thinking I was about to be scolded, but she quietly called my name.

“Kasane.”

“Mom?”

“…You are, after all, a child of our family.”

What does she mean by that? It’s obvious, isn’t it? But, well, that obvious thing makes me happy.

“Yeah!”

I just smiled and nodded vigorously. My twin tails bounced. Pleased, my mother smiled back.

“This mother-daughter pair is the best…”

“…The landlady and Kasane-chan are so warm, I feel like I’m melting.”

“I would fight the entire world to protect this restaurant…”

The other regular customers started getting noisy, but I didn’t care.

Now, onto the next order. Here I go…

“Hmm…”

The restaurant was quieter now that the rush had died down. After helping out, I started working on my homework at the counter seat.

But, I needed to make faster progress. I might not finish before the shop closes if I’m not careful. Mom will scold me again.

“Mmm…”

I needed help with numbers and formulas. It’s my second time, but studying doesn’t get any easier.

Why is learning such a hassle? I’m smart enough without it.

Using my head for headbutts or solving puzzles is easier and more enjoyable, like unlocking a ring puzzle. I’m good at headbutts; if you pull hard enough on a ring puzzle, it comes apart easily. I wish classes were just that.

“Hmm, you seem troubled.”

“Huh? A customer…whoa.”

Lost in thought, I was startled by a voice next to me.

And then I was surprised to see a maid with a white brim hat. She looked out of place in this diner with her frilly black and white outfit. Even looking directly at her, she had a faint presence. Dizzy, from the mismatch, spoke to me.

“Hmm. You’re not fooled by invisibility. Are you just a sharp-witted amateur or something beyond ordinary? The former would have been easier.”

“Wha…?”

“I’ve heard about you from Shirakawa. Indeed, you seem as ignorant as an idiot. You don’t seem to be pretending… Maybe a strong seal has been placed on you.”

“Shirakawa? Are you a friend of Hikaru?”

“Yes. I apologize for the late introduction. I am Sorao Kuushiki, the servant of Ikus, who is contracted to Lord Shirakawa.”

It’s not unusual for the people around me to say things I don’t understand, but what Kuushiki Saori was talking about seemed completely detached from reality.

And I was surprised to learn that she was connected to Hikaru. I wonder where he met such a beauty.

With my dad yawning obliviously to the customer’s gaze, this long-haired, black-haired maid-like girl adjusted her glasses while staring at me.

“A servant? Not a maid?”

“Yes. This outfit is just a personal preference.”

“A preference, huh… I see.”

But Saori-san isn’t a professional maid.

An imitation maid. Cosplay, right? Given his otaku interests, it makes sense why she would get along with Hikaru.

As I came to this realization, Saori-san, who wasn’t a maid, looked at me more intently.

“So, Futaba-san. I have a question for you.

“Huh? If you’re a friend of Hikaru’s, I guess it’s fine if I can answer.”

“Then, one question.”

She turned her chair towards me, straightened up, and placed both hands on her apron dress before asking her question.

“Why do you pretend to be such a fool?”

“Huh?”

But I didn’t understand what she meant.

Here I am, cool as ever, and she’s calling me a fool. I’m just being myself, not pretending to be a fool or anything.

Realizing there’s been a misunderstanding, I responded firmly.

“I’m smart, you know?”

“I anticipated that. Even with sealed memories, it’s unlikely your wisdom would degrade. However, your behavior, like that of an ignorant young girl, is somewhat…”

Right. I realized there was something similar to the grey in her eyes. It’s like iron.

Her gaze was cold as chilled metal, and her lips moved slowly.

“Disgusting.”

Disgusting. I see, so that’s how I appear. Shocking. But since it’s the first time I’ve heard this from someone, it’s alright.

I murmured.

“I see…”

“It would be more fitting for you to behave more arrogantly.”

Arrogantly. Ah, that means acting on a whim.

No, that’s a problem. If I did that, Mom would surely punch me. And besides…

“No, I need to be polite since I’m eating here, right?”

Such an obvious thing to say.

“I see. That’s the kind of person you are…”

Understanding dawned on her after hearing my profound statement. Saori-san seemed convinced.

Tilting her white-brimmed hat, she pondered and said something even more bizarre.

“…I wondered how you were sustaining yourself without a contractor and with your memories sealed. Maybe you’ve been hypnotizing them and consciously feeding, then behaving like a human as payment.”

“Huh?”

Again, I tilted my head. One of my thick locks of hair fell onto the table.

Another misunderstanding. But she’s talking about contracts and seals, just like Hikaru. Maybe she’s his girlfriend, after all.

While I was thinking, she smiled knowingly and said something strange.

“You’re a terrible person, aren’t you?”

“Terrible” is a harsh way to put it, but she seems happy, so maybe it’s fine.

“If you’ve come all this way, order something.”

Sensing she might leave without ordering, I officially handed her the restaurant’s menu, written by me.

Then, smiling, she said.

“Alright. Then… I’ll have everything listed here.”

“What?”

I thought I could judge people well, but I never imagined this slender woman would order so much. Even I was taken aback.